Chapter 558 The real audacity

Chapter 558 The real audacity

The sentence "Thieves Financial Co., Ltd." made everyone laugh.

“What a thief of God, you stole financial shares.”

“Financial company: I feel offended.”

“Chen Xiaoer has a good background, Tangtang Financial Company employees.”

The barrage has begun to connect the two programs.

I am so impressed. I just finished watching "Cops and Thieves".

The applause was very warm.

“How many people are there in your company?”

“More than a hundred people.”

Li Zhanshan was shocked, good guy, "More than a hundred thieves?"

"Not all thieves."

Liu Qun waved his hand, "Not all thieves, we are the only ones who really insist on working on the front line. "Two people."

"Which two people?" Li Zhanshan asked.

We promised to change this, but Chen Xiaoer didn’t join in. What a pity.

"One is called Chen Xiaoer."

Li Zhanshan said: "I know this guy!"

"Hey, have you been stolen by him too?"

"No."

"What about you?"

Li Zhanshan suppressed his laughter and said, "He must be the one who was just arrested."

The audience laughed.

Applause came one after another.

The cross talk and the sketch are actually linked, which is really interesting.

Liu Qun clapped his hands and said sadly: "It's over, there is one less worker."

"There are more than a hundred of you, where are the others?"

Liu Qun smiled naively: "They are all leading cadres."

The skit was full of laughter, making everyone laugh.

"Do you still have leading cadres in your thief company?"

Liu Qun was unhappy and said sternly: "Hey, you said that! The speed of the train depends entirely on the head of the car. Lead. If the cadre takes the lead, the thief will definitely steal poorly if he has no leadership. Either he will steal less or he will not be able to escape.”

There was thunderous applause.

It tastes like that.

The taste of "Clever Name".

A burst of cheers erupted from the scene.

“Yes! What kind of cadres do you have?”

Liu Qun counted on his fingers: "One general manager."

"Oh."

"Forty-eight deputy general managers."

That sense of irony Just came out.

The previous sentence is okay, everyone says so, it is very common to see something like the front of a train.

But with forty-eight deputy general managers, the smell is even more intense.

The barrage flew up with joy.

"Football Association: No, it's coming for me this time!"

"Basketball Association: Why do I feel like it's coming for me?"

"Dote Stop talking, I think this show is going to be banned.”

"This is the CCTV Spring Festival Gala? I can actually see such an explosive program?"

The audience expressed disbelief. It was just Shanghai TV, local TV was larger and freer.

I don’t know how many times I have been complained about. It is said that Shanghai TV received more complaints in those days than in previous years.

I thought I was honest in my promise, but in the CCTV Spring Festival Gala, he gave the objector a big sinus. I didn’t know I was wrong, but I will dare to do it next time.

“Forty-eight people?” Li Zhanshan asked again.

"Each one is in charge of his own stall."

"What are they all in charge of?"

Liu Qun counted them on his fingers: "Some are in charge of administration, some are in charge of business, and some are in charge of organization. There are people who are in charge of publicity, people who are in charge of logistics, people who are in charge of having two or three more children..."

Everyone laughed, what does it mean to keep up with the facts? This is called keeping up with current events.

The word "promise" here has been changed again. Doesn't everyone encourage having a second child?

Every time Liu Qun counted Li Zhanshan, he remembered one. Something was wrong.

"No, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, your thieves company still plans to have children?"

Liu Qun waved his hand, "Hey, what you said, the whole country is in a game of chess. We thieves are no exception. Otherwise, if others encourage procreation, we thieves will become thieves, thieves will become big thieves, and big thieves will become old thieves. There will be more and more good people, and fewer and fewer thieves. Go steal?”

The audience laughed out loud, there was still a young thief.

Thunder applause.

But everyone couldn’t laugh anymore.

Why does it always feel like something is wrong?

The word "thief" can be used on them even if the word "thief" is changed!

“Damn, you’re awesome! How dare you say this?”

“I’m convinced, can this pass the trial?”

"Let me go, there are people who have slipped through the net and openly complained about national affairs."

"It doesn't count, after all, they are right, if you don't give birth to me, who will be the thief."

Yu Tianlei is so courageous. The camera scans the audience in the front row and highlights a person who is not afraid of death.

Yu Daudao is not called for nothing. The special audience in the front row looked calm and could not see any emotional changes.

“You are also doing this for ecological balance.” Li Zhanshan smiled.

Liu Qun said seriously, "Of course, these are all at the upper level. When it comes to the departments at the lower level, the division of labor is even more detailed."

The jokes that were made more than thirty years ago are still relevant now. Still timeless, not only timeless, the irony is even stronger.

What it was like thirty years ago, and what it is still like now.

What does it mean to criticize current ills? This is it.

It’s nothing to mock the poor people, it’s nothing to mock the disadvantaged groups, it’s only when you dare to make fun of those who have an iron rice bowl.

The applause resumed. "What subjects are there?"

Liu Qun continued: "Take the security section as an example..."

Li Zhanshan was not calm anymore, the audience They laughed.

"No, no, no, wait a minute, why does your thief company need the security department?"

The audience in front of the TV laughed so hard that their stomachs ached. The thief shouted, "Catch the thief." This is because the thief company also has a security department.

Liu Qun started to perform: "It's so necessary. More than a hundred thieves gather together. If there is no security department, what kind of things the company has will be gone in a blink of an eye?"
< br>With a serious face and funny words, the laughter never stopped.

The barrage has completely gone into a carnival.

The cross talk didn’t say anything, and the audience had already finished thinking about it.

"Don't call it a thief company. Our company's toilet paper will disappear as soon as you put it on."

"All hand sanitizer, notebooks, pens, and printing paper will be wiped out for you."

" What the hell, one time our department vacated a filing cabinet, and guess what? It was gone the next day!”

“Only more outrageous, not the most outrageous.”

"Our company has stipulated that you can only apply for one roll of garbage bags at a time. This thing is not expensive and cannot be used by people to take it home!"

The barrage has become a place for complaints.

Whether it is a government unit, a state-owned enterprise or a private enterprise, this situation is common.

"It is very necessary for the thief company to have a security department."

"Hey, let's put it this way, we also need an entire security department."

"I understand, one Section chief, forty-eight deputy section chiefs, right?”

Classic cross talk can often arouse everyone's resonance.

Liu Qun was still talking, "Our company's 2025 document No. 1 issued by thieves clearly stated: The more thieves are dens, the more we must strengthen anti-theft work!"

The applause at the scene was like a tsunami. It also flooded the whole place.

Real art touches people’s hearts like this.

“It’s hard to guard against domestic thieves!” Li Zhanshan sighed.

The cross talk wasn't over yet, Liu Qun continued to fire.

"Of course, these are all permanent institutions. In order to catch up with the central mission, many temporary institutions have to be added."

The taste is getting more and more correct.

Which units have permanent establishments and temporary establishments? The answer is self-evident.

“That’s a lot, you think it’s the Spring Festival, you have to set up the Spring Festival, right?”

"What? The Spring Robbery Office?"

Liu Qun explained: "The raid on the burglary office during the Spring Festival is called the Spring Robbery Office for short."

The applause was so enthusiastic.

“What about Women’s Day?”

“Establish a women’s office.”

"May 4th Youth Day?"

"Young Pirates Office!"

Liu Qun laughed and said, "Today's Spring Festival Gala, we also achieved success in the Supervision Office."

" Are you here?" Li Zhanshan greeted: "Everyone, please be careful!"

"Our colleagues are here in person!"

Li Zhanshan understood, "It's Chen Xiaoer!"

The camera showed Chen Lezhang sitting in the audience.

The applause became even louder.

Dream linkage.

"Actually, they are all fictitious organizations. This person has nothing to do. He has been talking about downsizing for several years. In the first round of downsizing, there were only about 60 people left, and in the second round, there were still more than 80 people. , the third time came down, one hundred and twenty people.”

There was a roar of applause. This person is really good and dares to say anything.

“The more streamlined we are, the more people there will be?”

Liu Qun spread his hands, “There is no way, they all come through the back door because of the relationship. The superiors sent them here. They have to behave properly when they come. A cadre. In fact, we are a very business-oriented unit. It does not mean that if an outsider comes to work as a cadre and is an experienced leader, then nothing will happen to him. No: Just say this guy is not good. People say he is okay, but you are so angry. There is a couplet circulating in our place, which explains the problem very much. "

The audience wanted to stand up and applaud him.

“What couplet?”

Liu Qun shook his head and sighed, "The first couplet is, if you say you can do it, you can do it, and if you don't, you can do it."

"If you say no, you can't do it, and if you can do it, you can't do it."

"It doesn't work either. . ”

The applause at the scene almost lifted the roof, and the applause did not subside for a long time.

The barrages exploded.

"Football Association: Please read my ID card."

"Basketball Association: Ah Qiu!"

"I'm convinced, I'm so impressed."

"I'm afraid Go ahead, you dare to say that!”

“What is art!”

Liu Qun then complained, "The most important thing is to set up a team and issue a target of several thousand yuan."

Li Zhanshan chuckled, "Then just steal it."

" It's easier said than done, you haven't stolen recently..."

Li Zhanshan responded and then reacted, "That's it - I haven't stolen before, so I am!"

Liu Qun acted vividly. , just like a complainer: "Just tell me, we have few people to steal big items, so stealing small items is not worth it. I dare not take the passbook after I steal it. I want to steal cash, but I am afraid of running into plainclothes. Sometimes I am exhausted. . After hard work, you can’t steal tens of thousands of dollars in one day.”

The audience laughed, good guy, stealing tens of thousands a day is not enough.

“No, the key is that a quick thief can’t keep up with a slow thief.”

“There are probably more than a hundred thieves in our company. They eat, drink, poop, sleep, sit, lie down, and walk. This costs money. ?”

This is okay, it’s normal.

“Does it cost money to go to tourist spots endlessly to study and hold meetings?”

"That's not all, our leading cadres still have to go abroad for inspection! You said you are a thief company, why are you going abroad for inspection? You said it is to learn advanced foreign theft technology!"

Tu Qiongdeng saw it, Is this a company of thieves?

Many people have counted.

Someone applauded vigorously.

(End of this chapter)