Chapter 3273 (Three Thousand Two Hundred and Seventy-Three) Contradiction
Tie Jinjue thought: I turned on that function without leaving any trace, but Li Fangshi treated me with sincerity from the beginning. At first, he didn't want to make it clear, and he didn't want me to know anything. That was also clear, and it was obvious to me that he didn't want to tell me. For so many years, I have been doing dangerous things and being cautious. Sometimes I don’t like myself like this, but so what if I like it, and what if I don’t like it? In my mind, I had decided that it was not a choice for me. Li Fangshi spoke to me sincerely, but I activated that function for him. After I used that function, I could feel that even if I didn't turn on that function, he would not tell lies to me. In his opinion, talking to me before was just to talk, but I...I actually used a trick. If that function had not been turned on, although he would have said something to me, he would not have said it to me that way or so much, as if those words were flowing from his heart. He seemed to have no scruples in front of me, as if he was confiding to a trustworthy person, but I, the person he found trustworthy, had activated that function. When I knew that his life was short, I knew that what he said was true. If I could choose to turn off that function at this time, would I turn it off? No, it won't! I have become accustomed to being strict about how to do things. Even if I could turn it off at that time, I would not consider it. Fortunately, once the function is turned on, it cannot be turned off in the middle. This still makes it seem that I am a little out of my own hands, and it also seems that I treat someone who has not been around like this. The life I am about to die in the end has a hint of meaning that is not determined by me. Actually...is it really not up to me at all? No, if it happened again, I would still turn on that function without leaving any trace. He would still honestly tell me the truth I wanted to know, he would still say a lot of things under the influence of the function I turned on, and he would tell me things he obviously could not say. I will still use the same methods as last time, even if the person in front of me is Li Gengmi's brother, even if this person will die soon, even if this person believes in me and will never lie to me...
Tie Jinjue looked down at the table in the meeting hall, and once again thought of the table in another room where the clothes Li Pingrun wore when he was a child were placed, and thought about the clothes Li Pingrun had put in his pocket. When he took out the letter, he felt that he felt an unspeakable guilt towards Li Gengmi.
Tie Jinjue stroked the table with his hand, thinking of the table where the child's clothes had been placed. Tie Jinjue wondered if he was touching the child's clothes that Li Gengmi asked him to hand over to Li Pingrun, whether he could still feel from the bottom of his heart that the child's clothes were soft.
At this moment, he felt that it was difficult to find that kind of "heart". Tie Jinjue thought: Li Fangshi said he had already burned it, so why should I still think about it? So what if he didn't burn it? The child's clothes are naturally soft. However, how many things have my hands done over the years that go against my true intentions? Even if such a hand can feel the softness of the child's clothes again, can my heart really feel that softness? Have those things related to the first few years of life and those related to the spirit already become something else to me?
(End of this chapter)