Chapter 605 Prologue (I): Birthday
March 25, 2049
Real time AM07:01
Accompanied by a burst of soothing and sweet music, I just logged out Ink Tan of the game I woke up leisurely in the game cabin, and was stunned when I heard the familiar melody in my ears. After reacting for a long time, I opened the hatch from the inside with a dumbfounded voice, then got up, adjusted the game cabin to sleep mode, and closed the door at the same time. Dropped that melodious birthday song.
I remembered, today is his birthday, March 25th in the Gregorian calendar...
To be honest, Mo Tan didn't really feel much about his birthday, and he had never lived it properly, whether it was the days when he was in an orphanage when he was young, or the years when he grew up and went out on his own, He never seemed to take seriously such a day that was so memorable in the eyes of others.
Of course, if we must be serious, this day may not be Mo Tan’s real birthday. After all, twenty-two years ago today was just the day when he was picked up from the orphanage door, and it may not be his birthday. A real birthday.
But no matter what, his attitude towards birthdays is still too casual. He has never lit a candle in these years without mentioning it. He just forgets it no matter how many times he forgets it. I don’t know how many times he has forgotten it. I remember most of the time, and usually I can use this as an excuse to ask him out for a good rub.
The reason why Mo Tan doesn't care about his birthday is actually simple to say, that is, he is not grateful and has never been sincerely grateful that he was born in this world.
Whether it is absolute neutrality, chaotic neutrality or lawful good, the views on this aspect are generally the same.
It's not that he is cynical for no reason, nor is he a pretentious late middle school student. He has really never felt lucky that he came to this world. Of course, it is limited to not feeling lucky. If he is really resistant, Suicide is not a matter of minutes.
As for the reason, it is not complicated. In the final analysis, it is his innate 'disease'...
Schizophrenia, atypicality, multiple personalities, etc., say It looks cool and sounds cool. Making a movie and writing a novel may be even cooler, but for the person involved, is it really that wonderful?
The answer is of course - no.
Not only is it not beautiful, most of the time, there is a huge deviation between myself and my own outlook on life, world view, and values, and there are three types of deviations. It is really hard to make people laugh. .
Just imagine, in most cases, what you do will often run counter to your original intentions, every decision you make will mostly make you regret it, almost everything you planned will be disrupted, and you can’t even make the final decision. Basic protest is impossible, because the only person who affects what you do is yourself.
It would be okay if it was pure schizophrenia, then it could at least be regarded as having multiple tenants living in the same body. Whether it is fighting or destroying, even if it is to eradicate the roots and die together, it is reasonable.
But Mo Tan is different. Even if his thinking and acting styles are completely different under different personalities, he is still the same person after all, not Hei Fan, not Tan Mo, not Mo, just a person named Mo Just an ordinary person.
He is multi-faceted, but also unified. No matter what the situation, he can clearly understand any idea he has when doing anything, whether it is his original intention or his purpose, because It's 'his' thing, so he knows it all and can't do anything about it.
Just like the example given before, a person may still want to eat noodles in the morning, but at noon he will want to eat rice and have a faint aversion to noodles, but he is still the same person. Individual; A person may have given up his seat to an old man yesterday when taking the subway, but today he will not. He is still the same person.
Any normal person will experience this level of conflict.
The difference between Mo Tan is that his own conflicts are countless times more intense than others, and they are difficult to reconcile. To give an exaggerated and unrealistic example, others need to solve the same problem. The tangle may just be the issue of giving up seats/not giving up seats, but in Motan, it may become the issue of giving up seats/exploding the subway.
It may sound a bit funny, but this kind of thing is painful for the person involved...
Mo Tan has always been himself, but precisely because of this, But he could never be himself.
Perhaps Mo Tan will be slightly better in an absolutely neutral state, but he will still be tangled, uncomfortable and speechless because of various things.
There is an irreconcilable contradiction, but there is no solution at all. Mo Tan has almost taught himself to be a master in various aspects of psychology and medicine, but there is still no progress in terms of 'illness'.
This is the moment after nearly twenty years of hard work, and Mo Tan has already learned to compromise with himself.
As for the worse period, such as the days when his nightmare side had not been sealed away, he really considered the option of suicide. You must know that every time he passively switched to that side 'After that, Mo Tan under other personalities found it difficult to maintain mental stability afterwards, as if his whole person was about to be swallowed up by something indescribable.
Fortunately, that has been a long time ago...
“So apart from making it easier to call the police, registering an ID card is also used to play a song or something on such a day? ”
Mo Tan lazily sat on the floor leaning against the game cabin, looking at the bright sunshine outside, thinking about the students who could no longer stay in bed after the winter vacation. They were getting out of bed half-deadly, brushing their teeth and washing their faces. , the scene of lining up like zombies to walk into the classroom, I couldn't help but laugh, and then I thought of the girl who had not seen each other for half a day in the game and then sent a message to chat with me for three hours, and my mood became brighter.
Although the chat with Yuchen was all about trivial matters, and the fundamental reason was that Yu Ying and the group of sisters headed by the 'eldest brother' were not online, Mo Tan was still very brilliant.
"It's pretty good..."
He swiped the screen, then his eyes narrowed slightly, and he casually opened a very popular card collection game with a pretty good script, and was surprised. I discovered that my continuous check-in had been interrupted for nearly a hundred days.
Pushing the time back a bit, it happened to be the last day of last year, the day when the Innocence World server was launched, December 31st.
From that day until now, a full eighty-four days have passed...
Although it is impossible for Mo Tan's personality to truly forget how many days he has played in the realm of innocence, at this moment, he still As if waking up from a big dream, I was surprised that time passed so quickly.
【My life is really fulfilling...】
Although Mo Tan is currently in an absolutely neutral personality, he is still convinced that whether it is himself now or in other states, , will have the same feeling.
Everything I experienced during this period is vivid in my mind...
As Hei Fan, I don’t know how many life and death separations I have experienced during this period. I obviously don’t like to bear pressure and shoulder responsibilities, but unknowingly, step by step, I started from a small soldier in the Marshall Territory Autonomous Army to become a leader with countless people. One of the leaders who survived the natural disaster, met many important people including Xia Lian, and met people who could be called friends such as Luna and Yu Ying. Now he has become a member of the Dawn Sect and is preparing to focus on cultivating him. The rookie is even protected by a high-level Paladin.
Of course... and the fact that I became good friends with that person by chance, and even got into a minor scandal.
Although I was very tired and panicked, and I didn’t know how many times I couldn’t bear it anymore and wanted to give up or retreat, I was also very happy, because no matter what, at least when I was a ‘Black Brahma’, Mo Tan did not regret any of the decisions he made. Whether he escaped or persisted, even if he almost pushed himself to collapse in the end, it was all precious to him.
And, it’s more than that...
Mo Tan, who can resonate with his other two personalities to a certain extent under his current personality, knows very well that even in a chaotic neutral or lawful good state, I am also sincerely satisfied with this period of time.
The reason is exactly the same. As Tan Mo, he was finally able to put aside all constraints and worries, and implement every crazy idea without any inhibitions. Without the checks and balances of 'himself', it only took him just over two months. It has harmed countless people, including the classmate Dave who was tricked to death for trying to make some small troubles; the Thieves Guild of Black Tower City, which was cheated out of hundreds of thousands of gold coins; and the Thieves Guild of Black Tower City, which was eaten by two crows and has no hope of promotion. Crow; up to the Marshall family that was directly exterminated, and the misfortune that spread to the southeastern diocese of the Whispering sect that was severely damaged. He had a great time and was extremely happy. No matter what was good or evil, everything he passed was Was thrown into chaos.
As for Mo himself, the situation is similar to when he was 'Tan Mo', but it is at the other extreme. The adventure that seems to be drifting with the crowd makes him feel sincerely satisfied. , he likes those trustworthy partners around him who have constant problems, and he also likes the right to freely practice his own beliefs, without having to think too hard about how not to cause harm to the world, but to walk down-to-earth at his own pace. If we go on, we will not worry about world peace in vain, but we will not turn a blind eye when encountering injustices, we will not blindly listen to authority, we will not be afraid of taking responsibility, and we will only have a clear conscience.
Yes, he is not a saint with a lawful good personality. He is just a person with a clear conscience. But these four simple words of 'clear conscience' are very important to the atypical case of Mo Tan. It's just a luxury wish, not to mention anything else. Just talking about something as simple as going to bed early and getting up early, as long as the personality when you get up is not lawful and good, that's pure nonsense.
And why is he not troubled by the same thing when he is in the state of 'Tan Mo' and 'Black Brahma'.
As a result, on that day three months ago, Mo Tan, who was a complex of contradictions, encountered the game Innocence, and then gained the inherent right of most people - freedom.
Be it social restrictions or moral constraints, these existences that treat everyone equally are not obstacles to freedom. At least for Mo Tan, the only obstacle to freedom is himself.
A game that can make each of its personalities independent solves this problem quite absurdly.
Although life outside the game is still the same, for 'Hei Fan', 'Tan Mo', and 'Mo' in the game, they finally enjoy rare freedom and finally dominate to a certain extent. 'own' life.
Same self, different life.
Although I don’t know about others, the game Innocence Realm really changed me a lot...
That lively New Year’s Eve dinner seemed to be a gift from it.
"Oh, if you think about it carefully, it's not a bad thing to be able to come to this world."
He turned to look at his face reflected in the game cabin, and Mo Mo Tan showed a tacky smile with a touch of warmth, and a hint of evil hidden behind the warmth. He slowly stood up and muttered to himself: "Or... celebrate a little?"< br>
So, ten minutes later, Mo Tan, who had changed into new clothes, lazily walked out.
......
Real time AM: 11:49
"Shuke Shuke Shuke Shuke opening beta Shuke~"
Mo Tan carried the newly bought product in one hand Fresh turtle, carrying two bags full of ingredients in one hand, hummed a ditty and returned to the downstairs of his apartment, with a cheerful expression and a loud singing voice: "Beta Beta Beta Beta Kai Shuke's Bei...yo! Which one did you receive?" Did the two devils come here to take advantage of the situation?”
A group of people standing in front of Mo Tan’s apartment unit simultaneously turned their attention to someone who was concentrating on playing with his mobile phone.
"Hey! You still know how to come back!"
Yidong, who had just reached the achievement of seventeen consecutive kneelings in Landlords, looked back and immediately shook his middle finger: "You didn't bring your mobile phone! A group of us I’ve been waiting for you here for a long time!”
Crack!
While carrying large and small bags, Mo Tan miraculously took out his mobile phone and took a photo of Yi Dong giving the middle finger. Then, as he walked towards the door, he evenly distributed the bags in his hands to Cui Xiao Yu, Wan Yang and Kang Lan finally stuffed the turtle into Yi Dong's arms. While inputting a large number on the doorbell, they turned back and smiled at everyone: "Next time you call me, just call someone else." , that idiot is too annoying, so he gets blocked by me occasionally.”
“Oh!”
Everyone nodded.
These new friends Mo Tan met in real life, Ji Xiaoge, Ji Xiaodao, Yuchen, Wan Yang, Kang Lan, Dao... Cui Xiaoyu, many of them, came over.
“Happy birthday, Mo Tan!”
Because he was wearing a little less, Yuchen’s face turned red and he was so passive that he jumped up and down in a soft voice.
“Happy birthday.”
"Happy birthday, man!"
"Happy birthday, when will you arrive in Sumir?"
"Happy birthday! Xiaodao said it too!"
"Oh "Happy birthday, I brought a few cans of cat food to express my feelings."
Everyone gathered around Mo Tan to express their blessings, and it was very lively.
"What's your idea?"
Mo Tan sighed and rolled his eyes at Yi Dong.
“It’s lively and lively.”
The latter smiled.
"got~"
After Mo Tan finished inputting the numbers, he opened the theoretically high-security door, turned sideways and tilted his head at everyone...
"Thank you, hurry up and enter the house."
To be continued
(End of this chapter)