Chapter 1365 Crouching Dragon and Phoenix (please vote for the big chapter)
To say that Wu Yisong is really a fucking jackal. When a colorful, soft and cute mini steam train drove over with its whistle blowing, Lao Wang just followed As if he had seen a ghost: "I weigh three to five hundred fucking kilograms and am about two meters tall, so you let me sit on this? Are you saying that this thing, including the wheel, is over one meter tall?"
The steam train is nice, but the paint on this thing is really outrageous. The various magical little cartoon characters and the mainly pink color scheme on it are all in a style that even a 6-year-old girl would have found childish. I can't imagine how abstract it would be for a group of ready-made men with armed gangster suit and thug temperament to sit on this thing. This is simply a naked buttock grinding and spinning in circles, which is both embarrassing and embarrassing!
"One meter six" Wu Yisong's eyes are shameful and his face is resigned: "Jiaojiao and Qiangqiang like it"
"Fuck me, fuck me." Lao Wang cursed: "What the hell have I done to be a classmate with someone like you? Yes, you are the biggest today. You have always been holding back the whole scene. Let's go." Comrades, get in the car and deal with him later! Let’s settle the score with him after the wedding is over!”
After the ammunition was loaded, the underage train Kojikuji carried a weight that it should not bear at its age and spewed out a spectacular steam column more than ten meters high and drove to the ferry island.
However, the workmanship of this thing is quite exquisite. Even the wheels look almost the same as a real train except that there are no rails.
Lao Wang nestled in a narrow position behind Wu Yisong, watching the base master floating in the sky getting closer and closer. There was a touch of shyness on his face that was not in line with his character, and his muttering gradually became more sustainable: "At least this thing is still semi-convertible. Otherwise, the feeling of going out in a can will be even stronger. To be honest, my shoes are bigger than them. Tell me the damn truth, the inspiration for this thing is really not the subway in the morning rush hour? "
The ferry docked quickly at the ferry island. With a big red flower on his head and a ribbon tied with the Chinese character for "Hi" on his head, the small train Kujikuji left the port and took to the streets, attracting countless passers-by's glances and vehicles honking their horns.
Wu Yisong is neither happy nor sad. The sanctity and solemnity of marriage are intertwined, and he wants to shine.
However, it turns out that a person cannot hold back when he cannot hold back. Soon Wu Yisong heard the children on the side of the road asking doubtfully: "Mom, mom, why are these uncles robbing our children's toys? They are because they are too poor." So you can’t afford adult products?”
The children's voices are a hundred million points loud.
Compared to the little girl who is four or five years old, this should be a sentence with an explosion of information.
Not only did Wu Yisong break his defense, but the little girl’s mother immediately blushed: “Go, stop talking nonsense, what do children know? Come home with your mother quickly!”
Lao Wang returned to his state in an instant and was full of enthusiasm: "Don't go, madam, children are childish, but as an adult, you have to talk about adult products. You don't want this to spread to your husband and In the ears of more people besides me, right?”
My wife ran even more cheerfully.
Lao Wang’s intimidating power is invincible to married women. In this base, there are many people who cannot recognize Mr. Li Cangcang in person, but if you say there are wives who don’t recognize Lao Wang, you are just talking nonsense. There are hundreds of people in the car. The idiot laughed wildly for a while: "Good guy, this lady's legs and feet are so nimble, and she's holding a baby in her arms. Even a small train can't catch up with her!"
"The notorious old man has frightened his wife so much!"
"Brother Song is right, purple is indeed the most attractive."
"But she is wearing white clothes!"
"Her shoulder straps were exposed"
"What kind of beast are you riding a horse! I am ashamed to be in the company of you!"
The train was very slow. It took more than 40 minutes to arrive at the downstairs of Jiaojiao's house, blowing out air and honking its dirty whistle. Amidst the cheers of the crowd who had been waiting for a long time and the sound of fireworks and gun salutes, Lao Wang He took the loudspeaker from Wu Yisong's hand and said: "People inside, listen! Put down the props in your hands! Don't resist needlessly! The more you resist, the more excited we become! Today we will rob any mother except the mother-in-law!"
If we bring a company of gangsters to snatch the bride, how should you, the bridesmaids, respond?
The answer is that my sister responded!
The whole self-built small building was quiet, and even the lights were not turned on, which gave Lao Wang an ominous premonition: "Mom, it's just a wedding, your big kid won't hide somewhere to put a sack on us." Knock on the sap? ”
Li Cang frowned and retreated behind the crowd: "How about I ask a few bastards to go in and clear mines?"
"God is so demining!"
There is no need to rely on Teacher Cang for this kind of thing. It took a lot of effort for a group of people to escort him to the car and come to welcome the bride.
The groom and his friends were already confused. Looking at this courtyard that had been decorated with lights and colorful decorations for three years, they all felt extremely strange. It seemed that there was some kind of heart-devouring monster hidden in the dark door behind the lawn.
"Old. Old Wang" Wu Yisong swallowed a big mouthful of saliva, looking very stupid, "What. What should I do."
"You're a worthless little piece of rubbish! You're so fucking cool! Please give me some fucking energy and get in the mood! It's you who's getting married, not me who's cutting off my beard!" Lao Wang waved his hand, "Comrades, don't count on this guy for the time being. If you can’t get on, do what you said in advance. We’ll take care of his marriage. This is the end of the exhausting work. The mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, mistresses, and mistresses are none of our business. Get in line and come to me. ! ”
Wu Yisong, who is in the duality of having no sense of existence and having an overwhelming sense of existence: "It's impossible, I don't have it, don't talk nonsense"
The cameraman who is in a single state: "Good! The effect is very good! Keep it up!"
Lao Wang stood in front of his head with a loudspeaker in his left hand and a bouquet of roses in his right hand. Every time a groomsman passed by, he would shake his hair and take a rose from his hand. The wind rustled and the water reversed, and the strong man left like a bandit. .
Wow.
The door just opened in front of Wu Yisong. Behind the door were several companies of doormen and flower girls. They were all three or five years old, boys in tuxedos and girls in princess dresses. There were no adults visible at all, filling the huge living room. There's not even a place to set foot.
The roars of welcome and congratulations were overwhelming and completely swallowed up Wu Yisong and his sanity. Without any suspense, the 6,000 big red envelopes prepared by Wu Yisong shrank by 50% in an instant.
How can I refuse this?
Who has the heart to say no?
You can't refuse it at all!
Even a big live animal like Lao Wang was "robbed" with his hands above his head and was "thrown down" to the ground, for fear of accidentally bumping into this group of festive, lively and extremely ferocious little ancestors.
After receiving the red envelopes, the children rushed out of the gate like locusts crossing the border.
Wu Yisong even turned out the red belt wrapped around his waist by his mother, and he was about to cry without tears: "Do you think they want to regret their marriage?"
"Holding grass, is this a job that people can think of?" Lao Wang pointed to the Q-version hand and foot stickers on the floor and the wine barrels placed in two rows along the road: "We are not asked to go up here. Right? ”
Seeing these wine barrels, all the brothers' faces turned green. They drank all day and all night yesterday. Even a funnel can't drink like this, right?
"Correct answer~" Comrade Pei Qian, the late emcee, led another team of photographers and a number of bridesmaids with formal silhouettes and waistcoat lines to stand on the stairs with a neat smile, "It's not a good idea to pick up the bride. It's an easy thing to pass. It's a must. You have to follow the rules. So, this level will be a rush. When you come through, there should be no wine left. If one person passes the level, it will be deemed that everyone has passed the level. If you go wrong or use stickers, you will have to guess the punishment! ”
There are so many wine barrels, do you treat us as balloons and still pass the level alone?
With a strong enemy in front and pursuers behind, the bridesmaids and the fun-loving people behind them continued to make noises, and tried to increase the psychological pressure of the groomsmen with cheese sandwiched between two breads.
Lao Wang blinked and expressed affection with his eyebrows: "President Pei, if you are more tolerant, we might have the possibility of renewing our bad relationship. Why don't you give us a line off the wine barrel?"
Pei Qian blushed: "No! Good things come in pairs! My professional ethics do not allow me to do this!"
"Whatever Jiaojiao gives, Boss Wu will pay double!"
Several bridesmaids started chattering with a strong sense of moral integrity. Pei Qian looked at her watch: "The limited time for this level is 15 minutes. You still have 14 minutes and 25 seconds. It's a big mistake to delay the auspicious time!"< br>
"Brothers, rush for me!"
A group of groomsmen looked at each other for a long time, then lined up and danced according to the handprints and footprints on the ground——
"Is this really something a human can do?"
"It's so scary. My waist, my back, my arms, rub them, who's going to rub my butt!"
"Ahhhh it hurts."
"Damn I knew I would have ordered yoga in advance and become proficient!"
"The first one, the sixth one, and the seventh one are all eliminated! Although this game does not limit the number of people, those who are eliminated are not allowed to participate in all subsequent games! You have to consider how many people are sent out to get the most bang for your buck. !” The bridesmaids behind her were already laughing, but Pei Qian was still trying to be serious: “Also, don’t question the professionalism of the game, these ladies behind me have done it themselves!”
"Yes, yes, if you each give me a red envelope, I can consider giving you some tips~"
"Give!"
"Know the signs! This is the right thing! Listen carefully, although there is only one line of these handprints and footprints, it is impossible to walk directly. It is impossible to step on them all. You have to advance and retreat!"
The first brother Qixingzhong, who had evolved to the point where he was facing up, kicked the golden rooster independently, and supported the arch bridge with one hand backwards, fell to the ground with a bang: "Sisters, have you ever considered a problem when you think about this game? We are a group of straight men. Ah, the body and brain circuits may be harder than steel bars!”
"Then we don't care, just say you can't do it!"
The second brother worked silently and had already started drinking the first barrel of wine. Lao Wang was still trying hard: "Sisters, tell me how many red envelopes it takes to buy you. Let us set an example!"
The girls were very calm: "That's not okay. Everyone came up with this game together. You have to get everyone's consent!"
An honest brother: "They are not here, how can we obtain consent?"
"We don't need this kind of stupidity!" Lao Wang kicked this guy out of the team with a flying kick, and his big face was full of flattery: "Tell me, sisters, how many people do you have?"
The young lady spread her fingers and blinked seriously: "Eight hundred!"
Even if you count the amount of meat, you can't fit eight hundred people into the room upstairs!
Lao Wang sent the backpack brother: "Here! Give it to them!"
After buying 800 red envelopes, the ladies immediately became active. The apples of their cheeks and waistcoat lines looked particularly plump: "Then you should watch carefully, we will only demonstrate once!"
Even with the demonstration, the living room was still filled with the cracking of bones and the miserable howls of the male compatriots, and not only the movements, but also the wine. With the blessing of various strange movements, the former wine barrels are now They have become commonplaces, turning into three-eyed fountains and pouring foam all over the place.
"Seize the bamboo shoots! How insidious! We gave you the red envelope without any hesitation, and you actually shook the wine in advance?"
"Goose, goose, goose, the soldiers and horses have not moved on the food and grass first, little brothers, come on, come on, come on~"
There are corpses all over the front. It's just a small game, and it's said that only one-third of the entire company is left. The groomsmen who had made selfless sacrifices one after another and were eliminated not only had their bones trimmed and got pregnant, but also suffered personality insults. Lao Wang and the groomsmen behind him were arrogant: "A bunch of useless things, that's it? Let's go. Let’s go, brothers, the road is clear, keep rushing with me!”
Rushing up the stairs, Wu Yisong was stunned again.
It's not that he is still numbing his claws. He has already entered the state after a game of warm-up. The main reason for his daze is that the pattern of the corridor on the stairs has changed. It should have been a small living room with a "string" shape. The structure of the living room. The small living room that has been turned into a study has been decorated to look like a casino. At the end of the corridor is a double heart-shaped custom-made bed. You can directly see the huge scale of Yingying Yanyan. Behind the group of bridesmaids, there are two brides with phoenix crowns and beautiful pei sitting on them, shaking fans with the presence of the old god, just like Zhuge's military advisor sitting in an empty city.
Wu Yisong was spinning in confusion, his heart almost in his throat. What's going on? Didn't we all agree to pick you two up in turn? You didn't even discuss it with me before you changed your mind immediately?
What about the plan?
Why don't you play by the rules?
"Uh-huh! Now is not the time to see the bride, you have to go through the barrier!" Pei Qian smiled broadly and pointed to the three bridesmaids who were sitting at the mahjong table in the middle of the "casino" and were waiting, "Block the mahjong, three Play one, lose and drink, but as long as you win one round against them, you will pass!”
The best man group exploded: "Eh?"
"Is there such a good thing?"
"I'll come, I'll come!"
"This guy must be good at it!"
Pei Qian slowly shook her head meaningfully, and under the questioning eyes of all the bridesmaids, the groomsmen group was gradually smoothed out, gradually flattened, decentralized, and the background was transformed into a board. After realizing it, they began to move backwards. Looking around and searching.
"Teacher Cang, stop hiding~"
"Eh? Where is the person?"
"We were leaving this here just now! Why is such a big living person missing?"
A minute later, the six virtuous bridesmaids politely picked up Li Cang's collar and carried him from the bookcase to the mahjong table. They even tied him up thoughtfully, bah, fixed them, and then opened the seat. Reheat and serve hot Babao beer.
Pei Qian said: "The seat is custom-made, and the heating function will increase the temperature by one degree every 15 seconds. Teacher Cang, if you feel hot, you can drink tea or take off your clothes~"
Bridesmaids: "Oh~"
The light in the eyes can sting.
Li Cang, a potential social terror patient who was tied alive to a chair, was shivering on pins and needles, with confusion and despair written all over his face. Who on earth figured out this kind of torture? You have no conscience after doing bad things. Aren't you afraid of being tortured? Are you struck by lightning? !
As we all know, Teacher Cang has two weaknesses:
Luck and mahjong.
What's even more unfortunate is that the two can be in a superimposed state. As for the ability to drink, generally speaking, that thing cannot be completely regarded as a weakness in a general sense.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of the cards, a long-planned unilateral humiliation against Li Cang, a potential social terror patient, began openly.
You don't even need to think about it to know that this thing is a dirty trick thought up by some prodigal woman. Even Timi can beat him in mahjong, let alone three carefully selected veterans who are chasing him, Comrade Qiao Jiaojiao, Song Jiaojiao, etc. Comrade Qiang, I think you sincerely don’t want to get married today, right?
"It's not that you wait for a while"
"Old Wang is not allowed to speak, otherwise Teacher Cang will lose this round. You are the most dishonest!"
"You guys should be reasonable. We civilized people don't do immoral things. What I mean is, if we can't help him, then it's okay for us to send someone to drink for him, right?"
"Yes, yes, but only one person is allowed, just him!"
The skinny and bespectacled best man who was carried out had generosity and sacrifice written all over his face: "Teacher Cang, let's make a deal first, I will only take four taels. God knows what they have cooked in this beer, so I entrust you with my life and fortune." Yes, if I pour it, you have to drink the rest yourself!”
Li Cang: "."
Without further ado, let us, our fellow sufferers, wish themselves well, and express our condolences.
You can always trust Teacher Cang. After all, Teacher Cang's luck is as strong as his wine. Compared with this, this man's mahjong level seems insignificant and dispensable.
"Teacher Cang, let's roll the dice."
"Eight o'clock, Teacher Cang, what are you doing? Grab the cards from here, the direction is reversed!"
"."
Looking at this obvious quality, Wu Yisong was like a mouse standing on the pancake griddle, with the pan and the fire under his feet, working around in a hurry.
The three carefully selected bridesmaids looked like they could play alone as skilled brick kings. They made eye contact when playing cards with ease, but they didn't even look at the cards during the whole process, and they all caught up with the pig killing game. He was full of murderous intent, and the person he was killing was the New Year Pig.
"Sixty thousand."
"Eat."
"Five loaves."
"Touch and listen!"
Master Wang: "Aren't you guys waiting to hold the grass? There are only three cards here, why did you just listen?"
Bird Saints: "Why, I don't let you talk and I don't let you look at the cards. If you don't believe me, look at it yourself!"
This situation made Lao Wang feel numb.
As the bridesmaids continued to jeer and jeer, Lao Wang patted Li Cang's shoulder sympathetically. Li Cang shook his arm, thinking he had received a hint, and immediately retracted the big cake he was about to hit. Hesitating again and again, he threw out a piece of 80,000 yuan. .
"To! And! Drink!"
"Thirty seconds to draw? Teacher Cang is really a quick shooter! Even the actors I bought dare not act like this!"
"Hahaha~"
Li Cang looked at Lao Wang with a faint look: "You are a pig teammate!"
Lao Wang even gritted his teeth: "You're going to buy a cake and I'll fight you straight away. You have a clear look on your face. Believe it or not, this kid has to drink 16 cups!"
Eight consecutive games, each game lasted no more than five minutes. There was plenty of time left for Teacher Cang, but not much time left for Brother Glasses.
The spectacled brother narrowed his eyes precariously and said incoherently: "Teacher Cangcang, please. I don't want to be carried to the mat for a while. I thought that even though we are both from Yanchuan, there is no big grudge." I beg you, please let me know. At least catch a pair and make a dragon, right?”
The situation was so tragic that even the bridesmaids couldn't stand it anymore. A large group of bridesmaids rushed up to surround Li Cang and acted as a dog-headed strategist. Let's just say that these negative teaching materials were indeed very careful. As for whether they took the opportunity to deal with It's unclear whether Teacher Cang's back, shoulders, back, and waist were being poked for some evil purpose. Anyway, no one could see him because he was surrounded by people.
The groomsmen didn't know whether to be envious or jealous for a moment, and they said sourly: "No wonder Old Wu let Teacher Cang do it whether he was alive or dead"
"This target, this density of firepower, is amazing!"
"Come on, the lemon smell on you is killing me!"
"Ha~"
After all, the Bird Saint is a Bird Saint. If he can still lose to Li Cang in a three-on-one situation, he doesn't have to hang out. When Li Cang thought about it, he glanced at Da Leizi who was looking at the fun with his feet up, and then gave him Lao Wang winked: I thought of a way to ban Da Lei Zi, you block it!
Lao Wang understood: You are good!
Lao Wang immediately ran around the whole room on the pretext of looking for shoes, and issued a death threat: "Teacher Cang asked me to ask you, was it you who leaked the information to the enemy?"
Comrade Dalei Zi, who was photographed by Yamei in "Silence of the Lambs" and took out the double insurance in the silent field, was discouraged and stopped trying to expose Li Cang's fraud. Ever since, a ghost, a ghost, was born except for Li Cang and Li Cang. Lace's ghost, which no one could see, began to hover over the card table.
Suddenly Li Cang seemed to have divine help, blocking the way to kill the gods and Buddhas. Finally, after two rounds, he slapped the mahjong into the table and scolded Fang Qiu: "Get it!"
Although the bridesmaids were still not satisfied, they still cheered as if they had won.
On the contrary, the best man group and the onlookers behind asked: "What is this?"
"Good guy, can you still count as a peace?"
"Appearance can really make people tolerant"
"Don't embarrass Teacher Cang. It's not easy for him to know that he is messing up!"
The three bird saints felt offended, but after receiving the red envelope that Li Cang took out from his pocket, they subconsciously squeezed it, and then squeezed it again. It was round, and it was a coin, not a card. They immediately smiled. Li Cang Then flatter him at the right time: "Thank you for not killing me, I accept it, I accept it!"
Glasses Brother: "Thank you. No."
Plop!
Lao Wang waved his hand and said, "Come on, give me this thing!"
I was submissive to the bridesmaids and showed my virtue to my own people. A group of groomsmen suddenly responded and took out the forks they got from nowhere and stabbed the poor glasses brother out.
(End of chapter)