It's still late at night when the lanterns are on, and the lights are dim and people are hesitant;
The ten-mile long street is prosperous, and I only hope that the year will be as good as ever!
Looking out from the street, all you can see is splendor.
There is a constant flow of people and cars on the road. The lights on both sides are like stars and rivers, dispelling the darkness and illuminating the night sky.
The descriptions of cities that I saw in textbooks when I was a child now appear before my eyes.
It is indeed very prosperous, it is indeed extremely lively, it is indeed very noisy, and it is indeed changing a lot.
Ten years is only a small period of time in the world, but it is enough to bring about earth-shaking changes in the world.
Kisarazu!
Chiba Makoto’s original place.
From the unfamiliarity at first, to the habit, and finally to familiarity.
But now, this place has become strange again.
The streets that were originally no more than four or five meters wide with patched pavement are now six lanes more than thirty meters wide; the telephone poles with street lights on both sides are now replaced by six-meter-high specialized light poles; the weeds that originally only grew in the gaps have become pruned Neat green belts and landscape trees; what were originally low family huts have now turned into neat small buildings and mansions; what used to be a sparse number of people and cars are now dense traffic.
Prosperity brings The noise is gone, the memory is taken away, and the confusion is left.
"What a big change."
Chiba Cheng murmured in a low voice, how long has it been since he came back?
It's been several years.
It seems that I haven’t come back since that battle in 2010.
No, since the devil of the night destroyed his house and his neighbor's house, he left. Even if the house was built later, it was newer, better than before, and better than before. tall, but rarely come back.
Because it’s just a new house, it’s no longer a home. Every brick and brick is no longer familiar, only the unfamiliarity remains.
Later
Never came back.
When I came back after a few years, I felt like I was in another world.
Everything in my memory has changed, and there is no trace of the past.
The tall buildings rising from the ground, the spacious and bright roads, the constant flow of people and cars, and the lively and prosperous neighborhoods are all very different from the small towns they once were.
Demolish a home and build a city;
There are thousands of buildings in the city, but there is no home.
At this moment, Chiba Cheng suddenly thought of Obik, and completely understood why Obik knew he couldn't do it, but still desperately wanted to keep the mountain.
Because that mountain is the only thing in the past. If it is gone, it is completely lost.
The memory will gradually become blurred until you can no longer remember what it was and what it was like before.
It is only the city that is prosperous and lively, what does it have to do with myself?
Even though it is lively and prosperous, what I miss is still the dark, narrow, dilapidated path full of children's joy. What I miss is still the village of the past with low houses, mud everywhere, and smoke from cooking stoves.
But what is the use of nostalgia and nostalgia?
It can only become the loneliness and loneliness of a midnight dream.
Just as the wheels of history roll by, the development of cities is also unstoppable.
The past and dilapidation will be swept into history together, crushed into dust and turned into soil.
Stepping on the noisy music and walking through the noisy crowd, I came to the corner and saw Ikuta Katsuma, who was holding a glass of wine and drinking one glass after another. He was not watching the cool dance on the stage, but was staring blankly. The night outside the window is hazy.
After Chiba Makoto sat down, Ikuta Katsuma turned his head as if he was awakened, showed a very tired smile to Chiba Makoto, and said: "You are here, thank you, please Want a drink?”
The word ‘no’ has arrived. Looking at Katsuma Ikuta like this, he turned around and said, "Okay."
As he said that, he reached out his hand, picked up a can of beer, and gently pulled the tab away. , took a sip, it was cold and bitter, not as delicious as people said.
“I really didn’t expect you to come, I just didn’t know who to call.” Katsuma Ikuta drank to himself, leaning on the stool, his glasses were crooked but he didn’t try to fix them. He was looking at Outside the window, but it doesn’t seem like what I’m looking at is outside the window.
Chiba Makoto received a message from Katsuma Ikuta, which was a simple sentence: "Would you like to come for a drink?" It also included the address of the bar in Kisarazu. He didn't say much else, and obviously had no hope.
After hearing his words, I wanted to find someone to drink with, but when I picked up my phone, I didn’t know who to call.
He has lived in Kisarazu for several years, and he still doesn’t have anyone to drink with?
Then I heard Ikuta Katsuma say: "A lot of people have left, a lot of them can't be found, they're all gone, they've all disappeared, it seems like I'm the only one left, ha!"
As he spoke, Ikuta Katsuma laughed, but this smile was full of bitter sadness.
"Yeah, let's go, leave." Chiba Cheng turned the can in his hand, lowered his head slightly, and looked at the table in front of him.
The inferior red paint has lost color and peeled off.
Back to Kisarazu, I can no longer see the houses from the past, and there are no familiar faces.
Uncle Onoda, who took good care of himself, left Kisarazu as early as 2010. He even sold his house and had no intention of coming back.
That's true. I haven't heard from him since he left. If you use TPC's information network, you can definitely find him. In today's world with developed networks, every move will leave traces. , easy to find.
But Qianye Cheng didn't do it. Since he left, he didn't bother him.
Sometimes it’s good to leave. Staying in a sad place will always remind you of the painful heart. Going to a new place, maybe there will be a new beginning.
It has been almost seven years. I wonder how his life is going. Has he ever come out?
Probably so.
No matter how big the wound is, it will always be healed by time, but no matter how long it takes, the scar will remain.
Normally busy, people will not notice it, but when they see it, they will unnaturally remember the severe pain.
"I" Ikuta Katsuma burped and said, "I'm going back to my hometown. The house has been sold. I'll have the car tomorrow morning."
"Ah" Chiba Makoto Hearing this, he couldn't help but be stunned. He raised his head and looked at it with some surprise. Looking at Ikuta Katsuma, he opened his mouth, and then whispered: "I have to leave too. It's good to change the environment."
This is Chiba Makoto's sincere words. In the past few years, Ikuta Katsuma Mo has indeed experienced too many things and encountered too many things.
These are troubled times, and this is a troubled place.
"I realized today that I want to find a place to stay here, but this is never a place to stay, it is just a busy place," Ikuta Katsuma murmured to himself: "I can stay here only because There are still things you can do in this city. Once you don't need them anymore, you won't even be notified. It’s so cruel to be eliminated without hesitation.”
After talking about it, Ikuta Katsuma smiled as if he was crying, obviously thinking of his experiences in the past ten years. Struggle in the city and work hard at your job, but in the end all you get is nothing. He deeply understood that sentence: When time abandons you, you won’t even say goodbye.
Just like Tomoko.
Somehow, Katsuma Ikuta suddenly remembered the girl he had chased many years ago.
When did you come out of the shadow of ‘broken love’?
And when did you stop paying attention to her?
It seems like it’s been a while, right?
"Tell me, why did she remain unmoved after I chased her for so long, but that man only had a few dates and was able to take her home?" Katsuma Ikuta came suddenly. Chiba Makoto was at a loss for a while, and then he realized that he was probably talking about the 'girlfriend' that Katsuma Ikuta thought of himself.
"Well, it should be fate. Sometimes it is fate, and sometimes it is not."
Chiba Cheng thought for a moment and gave a more 'official' answer.
"Really? Fate, it turns out it is like this." Ikuta Katsuma was noncommittal, just raised his head, drank all the remaining wine in one breath, threw it away, and then picked up another can.
"Stop drinking so much." Chiba Makoto dissuaded: "Don't you have to drive tomorrow?"
"It's okay, it's okay," Katsuma Ikuta waved his hand, very He said proudly: "If you can't catch up, I'll take the next one. Anyway, There are so many cars, there will always be one that can take me home.”
“.”
Chiba Cheng’s outstretched hand stopped, and then he slowly retracted it. Watching Katsuma Ikuta pick up a new can of wine and continue drinking happily.
I've probably been holding it in for a long time. Since I want to drink it, I'll drink it to my heart's content.
Use alcohol to anesthetize yourself, and when you wake up the next day, maybe everything can start again.
"Actually, I don't like her that much," Ikuta Katsuma said while looking out the window, as if he was talking to Chiba Makoto, and also seemed to be saying to himself: "It's just because I can get in touch with her. She is the best one to arrive.”
The smile that had always been on Ikuta Katsuma’s face since the meeting disappeared for the first time, and he didn’t even drink the wine in his hand. Just hold it and watch the people and cars passing by outside.
You say you don’t like it that much, but do you feel the same way in your heart?
The best person you can come into contact with is her. Is it because she is the best, or do you think she is the best in your heart?
Chiba Makoto thinks it should be the latter, because everyone’s definition of beauty is different, but everyone’s definition of like is the same, that is, ‘What I like is the best. ', when you think he is the best, he is your favorite.
It’s best because you like it.
It would be best if you liked me too, but unfortunately, things are not always like this.
"Actually, I forgot about it a long time ago, and now I don’t feel the same as before, but... I’m not willing to give in. I couldn’t catch her when I wanted to the most, and just missed her. It must have been because of jealousy. Why is it so hard for me to chase her, but it’s so easy for that person?
But then I figured it out, that’s how it should be.
“I have not been very outstanding since I was a child. I am very ordinary and ordinary. My academic performance is neither good nor bad, my work is neither good nor bad, and my life is neither good nor bad, but I want to give her the best. How is it possible? How can it be so good?"
Ikuta Katsuma said with self-deprecation, suddenly raised his hand and took a big gulp into his mouth, even though a lot of it flowed out from the corner of his mouth and soaked his clothes. Not caring at all.
Chiba Makoto also took a sip without saying anything. What Katsuma Ikuta needs now is not understanding, but just listening.
Speak out the words that are bottled up in your heart to a person you are familiar with but should never see again. You will not think of your death after you wake up, nor will you try to find a way to disappear because of this.
What I am saying now is more to myself than to Chiba Cheng.
Comfort yourself, comfort yourself.
The jealousy of the past has turned into the unwillingness of today. I regret why I didn't do it in the first place. Maybe I will also fantasize about doing it and have a happy ending.
But is this really the case?
There is no answer to be found, let alone known.
Only the regret in my heart and the fantasy in my mind are left.
"You said, can't this world be better?" Ikuta Katsuma was asking, facing Chiba Makoto, but his eyes were not looking towards Chiba Makoto, he was still looking out the window. It seems like he is watching the city's lights and feasting, and thinking about the helplessness of the world.
What was once a great ambition has now become difficult to achieve.
Especially Katsuma Ikuta, I have the deepest experience.
Everything he has learned and everything he knows has been eliminated by this society.
The high degree of integration of big data, cloud computing, and artificial intelligence has replaced too much manual work.
His pencil drawings are no longer needed, but if he doesn’t do this, what else can he do?
Ikuta Katsuma didn't know, but he tried it, and finally found out that he had no choice but to be chosen.
Of course it’s not that they can’t be found at all, but those
Katsuma Ikuta was unwilling to do it.
Because that’s just living, and life shouldn’t be like this.
In the end, he made the only choice, which was to go back to the place where he was born and grew up to try to see if he could relieve himself of some of the burden and make himself feel more relaxed.
"Life, why is it so bitter?"
For a long time, Katsuma Ikuta raised his head and sighed: "If you suffer hardship, the more you suffer, the more you suffer; if you suffer losses, the more you suffer, the more you suffer.
But I finally let it go, I can finally let it go. ”
I did let go, but I also gave up.
The house I bought after working hard for so many years was sold;
It was not easy to live in the city. The place I found was gone.
The years of hard work were in vain, and became a dream, leaving only fatigue and scars in my heart.
"This world is so wonderful," Ikuta Katsuma looked at the lights outside the window and the dancing colorful neon lights. His eyes gradually blurred, and finally he fell on the table, smashing the beer in his hand on the ground and splashing it. The ground was sprinkled all over the body, and the murmur in his mouth became weaker and weaker:
"Don't come here in the next life."
It was dawn, and I woke up from the wine.
The city turned from silence to hustle and bustle, and Katsuma Ikuta set out on his way home, smelling of alcohol.
Before getting into the car, the unshaven man turned around, waved to Chiba Makoto coolly, showed a bright smile, and then got into the car without looking back, carrying With expectations for the future, he embarked on his journey, leaving to Chiba Makoto the set of drawing tools that he regarded as a treasure in the past. (End of chapter)