Chapter 54 Begonia is young again in the rain
"I sent a message to my mother. She will be here in a while." Bai Zhi shook her phone and sat back at the desk in a dignified manner.
Ning Zhe looked at her obediently sitting quietly on the chair and frowned slightly.
There is something wrong with Bai Zhi. She seems to have no memory of what happened last night, and her behavior is like two completely different people. The Bai Zhi last night is not at all like the good and timid girl she is now. She was... more human than she is now.
......No, let's take care of ourselves first.
Ning Zhe raised his head and looked out the window. The old camphor tree in the yard dropped its withered red leaves and was filled with a thin twilight atmosphere.
He raised a hand and looked down at the lines on his palm. A deep fear surged from his chest to his spine: "If one day in the future, I forget who I am, that kind of me... What’s the difference between it and a ghost?”
Maybe it’s not an exaggeration to just call it a ghost.
Tai Yi is a ghost and a rule, not a random awakening of superpowers in a world of high martial arts for everyone. The rules are absolute and the rules are fair.
Absolute fairness means that Ning Zhe is not simply stealing other people's identities. The stolen identities and memories are also subtly affecting himself. Sometimes he would like to light a cigarette for himself to dispel his boredom, but Ning Zhe does not smoke, and it is Zhang Yangxu who is addicted to cigarettes.
Sometimes a kind of transcendent indifference would arise in his heart, as if he was the unkind world and regarded all things as stupid dogs... But Ning Zhe knew that he was not like this. The truly transcendent one was the snake god named Zhaoyou.
To this day, Ning Zhe has begun to feel lost.
“It was okay when I was in Hejia Village. Although the snake god’s memories were complex, they were not enough to shake my self-perception. But since returning to reality, I have stolen the identities and memories of several people one after another. , their life experiences have begun to influence my decision-making.”
Ning Zhe closed his eyes, and scattered illusions appeared before his eyes: "Especially Liu Yunzhi's identity. It is her own understanding of herself. It is the most complete and profound. It has the deepest impact on me and is also the most fatal."< br>
Second only to the long and boring time of tens of millions of years of the snake god.
It is foreseeable that if he continues to use Taiyi's rules, as more and more identities and memories are stolen, and they become more and more complex, 'Ning Zhe's' self-perception will become increasingly indifferent, until he reaches the point where There comes a point where I am no longer me.
Ning Zhe knew clearly what was happening to him, but there was nothing he could do.
"If this continues, I will die, or become another person, but what is the difference between that and death?" Ning Zhe opened his eyes and clenched his hands into fists: "We must find a way out."
"Well, um, you just said you had read my diary?" When Ning Zhe was distressed, there was a sudden call from his bedside. Bai Zhi's voice came, her soft tone was as refreshing as a crabapple flower: "What's going on?"
Ning Zhe straightened up and said: "Your mother showed it to me. She I was very worried about you, worried that you might have some mental illness, so I secretly read your diary.”
"Are you a psychiatrist?" Bai Zhi looked at him puzzledly. Ning Zhe was obviously about the same age as her.
“I’m not, it’s just your mother who wants to believe me.” Ning Zhe shook his head and said, “I’ve read your diary and you’ve read the letter I wrote, so it’s even.”
Bai Zhi lowered her head and looked at the thick stack of letter papers on the table, which were of various colors, and asked curiously: "Did you write these all?"
"Yes... "Ning Zhe She is reluctant to mention her own dark history, but since Bai Zhi has seen it all, she has nothing to hide: "As you can see, my family's conditions are not very good, and my grandparents are not well-off people. So I started from Since I was in junior high school, I have often written love letters for my classmates to earn some pocket money or snacks. Speaking of which, I have to thank them for falling in love. "Although love has never been with him.
Ning Zhe got off the bed and walked to the desk. He picked up a thick pile of colorful letter papers and bumped them neatly on the table: "What you are looking at are all drafts. After all, love letters to girls cannot have deletions or typos." , so after writing the cursive The manuscript has to be rewritten before it can be sent out."
"What next? Do girls like the love poems you wrote?" Bai Zhi's face was full of curiosity, thinking about this kind of thing. It's quite fresh.
“You are thinking too much.” Ning Zhe put the letter paper back on the table and said calmly: “It is never the content of the letter that determines whether a confession letter will be accepted, but the sender and recipient. Itself. Because it is people who fall in love, not words on paper, gorgeous words are always just decoration."
"A truly charming person does not need these external aids. , others usually just post it directly," Ning Zhe concluded.
Baizhi lowered her head in frustration: "I think being able to write such romantic verses is also part of a person's charm."
"I just thought you were complimenting me." Ning Zhe didn't care what she thought: "But thank you anyway."
"Huh? Why do you want to thank me?" Bai Zhi was confused.
"Thank you for letting me see what my past self wrote..." Ning Zhe took a deep breath and calmed down his chaotic mind: "I feel like I am me again."
Yes, those confession letters were written by me, those disgusting words, those gorgeous words, those shy poems about young people's feelings... green, sour, passionate, implicit, these are all mine. , I must never lose the person I once was.
I am Ning Zhe, nothing else.
Complex emotions piled up in his chest, making Ning Zhe extremely convinced.
"You are really a strange person." Bai Zhi lowered her head in frustration, and then asked in a low voice, "Can I still read these drafts?"
"It's up to you. ." Ning Zhe finished speaking and walked out of the room.
A dark red sunset hung on the distant horizon. The rising sun was setting in the west, casting a thick veil of night over the quiet town. Ning Zhe stepped over the green onions planted on the wall and came to the courtyard. In front of the door, outside the door is my white-haired grandfather sitting on a wicker chair and smoking.
Ning Zhe said hello, walked to his grandfather, and asked him if he had caught any fish in the reservoir today.
My grandfather, who had been in the Air Force for several days, was so angry that his beard trembled. He turned around and smiled mysteriously, and asked him who the girl who had been guarding his room was.
Bai Zhi sat on the chair in front of the desk and pulled out a piece of letter paper. The golden sunset illuminated the revised text on it:
[It was a rainy evening, at that time You were still waiting anxiously in front of the door of the dormitory building. At that time, I didn't understand that this sudden rainstorm was spreading the moisture of my life. 】
“So lustful.” Bai Zhi whispered to herself.
(End of this chapter)