Chapter 1002 Extra: The child who will eventually grow up
There is a child living in everyone’s heart. He may be called Han Fei, or he may be called Chen Ge.
I was lying on the train in April, looking at the wind outside the window. The world was gentle and brilliant.
The swallow returns, the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming. All the beauty is stored in the eyes, but the body is slowly decaying.
Buried in the soil, buried under the fallen leaves of last winter, or repeated every day.
They call this growing up, and they think this is maturity. They say that life likes to remain unchanged, and stability is the greatest happiness.
They always think a lot, they live a stable and happy life, but they say I am like a weirdo who is out of place.
I should grow up, accept my fate, and live like them, instead of being that fish jumping out of the water, that unsociable sheep, that star that can’t even shine for itself. .
Some people say that life is as bitter as a song. I hummed the song and walked forward fiercely with a lonely courage.
I just want to live like a firework, blooming for a moment in the night sky throughout my life. I will not regret it, nor will I bow my head.
I know they think I am naive, or even crazy, but I laugh and watch them laugh at me as I run wildly in the snow in winter, dance among the fallen leaves in autumn, sing loudly in spring, and look up at the Milky Way in summer.
Such a madman suddenly lost his shadow one day.
Ten thousand voices rang in his ears, saying that he should grow up and that he should stop writing those ridiculous nonsense.
Yes, everyone thinks he is writing a horror story, but he is the only one who thinks he is writing a childish fairy tale.
His story was actually as childish and ridiculous as he was, that day he tore up all the manuscript papers and sat in front of himself.
He looked at his face, saw his eyes, and wanted to ask him, what's wrong with you?
Why do you cry in a familiar room? Why do I still look like a child even though I have white hair? Why are you always childish and naive? Why do you still have illusions and think that this world will give you some gifts and rewards?
You fall down in the mud again and again, and it’s not the good things that pull you up, it’s you yourself. It’s you who gets up little by little, with a smile covered in mud, like a fucking fool .
You look at the flowers in your arms and smell the fragrance of flowers in your dream.
You refused the medicine prescribed by the doctor, picked up the wine filled with moonlight, and became so drunk that you covered your heart and suddenly cried.
I'm really in pain, I don't know how to say it, I can't see, I'm lost, I'm lost again, I can't find the way back, I curl up with all my strength, I try very hard to straighten every part of myself A finger holding his own hand.
I was living well, but why did I cry all of a sudden?
The waiter handed me a tissue. His worried eyes scared me. The pure kindness was a bit heavy. I avoided his eyes and looked at his six-year-old child.
The child will grow up one day, but I don’t want him to feel that growing up is a terrible thing.
I'm smiling like I usually do, covered in mud and looking like a fucking idiot.
The guest at the next table sat across from me, raised his beer, and clinked his glasses gently.
I whispered thank you. I seem to like thanking very much. Maybe when the god of death swings his sickle on the day I die, I will also say thank you to him gently and politely.
There were crowds of people coming and going. I was lying on the table in a strange city.
My head always hurts recently. I always dream that I am back in the yard of my grandma’s house, sitting on a chair and looking at the stars above my head.
It seems like I haven’t seen the stars for a long time.
It seems that I drank a lot of wine, and I don’t know what I wrote. It’s nonsense. Bo Jun smiled
(End of this chapter)