He pointed at me and said, "I am you, you created me, and your souls and mine are connected."
I was a little confused by his words, "You are talking nonsense. What? What kind of soul connection do you have? It’s not me.”
“I am you. It’s useless even if you don’t admit it. This is a fact. I know you blame yourself for the death of your comrade, right?” I said in the mirror with a very pitiful tone.
But as soon as he said these words, I was stunned, "How do you know? Who are you? Who the hell are you?" I felt like I was going crazy. I'm actually talking to myself in the mirror. Could it be that I really have schizophrenia?
"I said, I am you. I remember very clearly that year you two went on a special mission together, but something suddenly happened midway. Things did not go according to the original plan at all. The leader asked you to go back. But in order to complete this task and get rewarded for meritorious service, you just disobeyed the order. But in the end, not only did the task not be completed, but you also You indirectly killed your comrade. If it weren't for your extreme thoughts, how could he die? It was you who killed him, and you killed this young life." He pointed at me with a vicious look on his face. He said with an expression, and the voice was exactly the same as mine, but I didn't dare to look directly at him, especially his eyes, which always made me feel scared.
I shook my head slowly, took a few steps back, and said with a sad look on my face, "No, it wasn't me who killed him, it wasn't me, it wasn't me." I yelled at him one last time, my heart beating wildly and painfully. , rising like a tide, the scars in my heart were revealed again.
The scene at that time emerged in my mind. It was my last secret mission. If it succeeded, I would be promoted to an officer with exception. Everything was going according to plan, but I was on the mission. At that time, we suddenly received an order from our superiors. Something unexpected happened. For the sake of safety, our superiors decided to cancel this action plan and prepare to start from a new plan.
When I learned the truth after the change, my first thought was to find a way to solve this problem by myself. If it didn’t work, I would just force it. I didn’t believe that I couldn’t win this task. At that time My self-confidence can be said to be extremely inflated, and I can even be said to be very arrogant. I never take anything seriously. In my opinion, there is no task that I cannot complete. This was also my biggest mistake at the time. .
At that time, I was thinking, since everyone has come, I can’t return without success. It seemed that victory had gone to my head. At the same time, in order to be promoted to an officer, I threw everything away. After thinking about it, my military quality was at its peak at that time, much stronger than it is now. The person I am now is completely different from what I was then, and I didn't take the problem in front of me seriously at all.
In this way, I disobeyed the orders of my superiors and took my comrades into action privately. At that time, he was actually opposed to it. Soldiers have always regarded it as their bounden duty to obey orders, but he couldn't bear to see it. I went alone, and for my own safety he agreed to go with me.
I led him into the enemy's camp. I thought we could win a complete victory, but finally realized that we had been plotted. Dozens of people surrounded us with guns. We became a trapped beast. Unable to escape intact, my comrade-in-arms died tragically in the enemy camp in order to save me.
I couldn't even bring back his body. I hurriedly fled back to the army like a bereaved dog. Because of this, I was severely punished and was finally ordered to leave the hospital early. Recovery has always been a pain in my heart. I have never told anyone about it. For many years, I have kept it in my heart and endured this pain alone. Many times when I was drunk, I would burst into tears. ,Come Venting the pain in my heart, this is the pain of my life, I can never make up for my mistakes...
"It's you, you killed your comrades, don't you admit it? If you hadn't insisted on your own way , How could he die? Have you forgotten? He was beaten like a sieve, and you watched him die in your arms." He stared at me with an evil look on his face. That look seemed to kill me.
"Yes, it was you who killed him. It was you who killed your comrades. You are a sinner. You are a sinner through the ages." At this time, the image in the ice mirror on my left actually came back to life. , he also stretched out his hand to accuse me, still with the same fierce expression, as if he wanted me to die immediately.
“Oh my god, you...who are you?”
I was completely dumbfounded by the appearance of another self, even at a loss. The two selves in the ice mirror were actually attacking me at the same time. They knew everything about me, and they could see through my inner fear even more. You all know what I'm thinking, it's absolutely terrifying.
"I am you too, haha...haha." The person in the mirror on the left smiled evilly, and the eyes that were originally normal became like wild wolves, emitting green light.
"No, you are not me, you are not me, you are not me."
I stretched out my hands and pointed at them left and right, and my mind went blank. What on earth is going on and why? It will become like this, who are they? Is it really me? But why am I talking to myself? Am I already dead, or is this all an illusion and am I schizophrenic? Am I a madman? I don’t know, I really don’t know, I even forgot about being afraid and where I came from.
“We are all you, we are your inner world. We saw the situation at that time. In order to survive, you ran back alone, but left your comrade alone there. He died. It's very unfair. If it weren't for your selfishness, how could he die, but you still live in this world without shame. You are a selfish and ungrateful villain."
The two of them stretched out their hands to accuse me at the same time, and their voices penetrated my heart like a magic spell, stimulating every nerve in me. I could no longer withstand this powerful sense of oppression, and the pain in my heart became more and more intense. Thinking of the temporary death of my comrade, his helpless eyes made me sad. If I had not been so impulsive, he would not have died. In the final analysis, this is indeed my responsibility.
"No...no, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it. I really didn't know it would be like this. I really didn't know. If I had known he would die, I would never have I would never do that."
After I yelled, I knelt on the ground. I kept shaking my head and crying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I really don't want to kill him, I really don't want to. I don’t want to, this After so many years, I have been living in self-blame. I regret it very much. I really regret it. "
I put my hands on the ground and tears flowed down. This has been pressing in my heart. The grief began to burst out in full force. No one can understand that feeling. I personally sent my comrade to the guillotine. If it weren't for me, he would not have died. It was me who killed him. It was me who killed him with my own hands. Got him.
Every time I think back to what happened at that time, my heart twists like a knife. He is my brother. We went from recruits to veterans. He was about to rehabilitate and get married, but for me, For my useless vanity, he lost his precious life.
I cried bitterly, with tears and runny nose, and kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, it's all my fault."
"You What's the use of apologizing? This man is already dead. Can he be resurrected if he apologizes? If you are still a man and have some conscience, you should do it. Pay the price for what you have done, and you should be punished as you deserve. "The self in front of me said coldly, that is obviously my own image, but why do I feel so strange and scared. , I am afraid of the image in the ice mirror, and I am even more afraid of his evil and sinister eyes.
"Yes, you deserve it...You deserve it...You should be punished, be punished..."
At this moment, I saw all the images in the ice mirrors around me. They are accusing me, they are obviously my images, but But they all pointed at me and said viciously that I deserved my crime and that I should be punished. It seemed that every one of them hated me. It could be seen from their disgusted expressions and contemptuous eyes that they hated me to the core. It's like we are sworn enemies.
"You are right, I should be punished. What exactly do you want me to do? What do you think?"
I slowly raised my head, knelt on the ground and looked at my images around me. They were all standing, looking at me condescendingly. Their eyes seemed to be full of hatred. Over the years, it turns out that I have been hating myself, but I I just didn’t dare to admit it, but now it’s better, and the knot in my heart can be untied.
"Only death can wash away your sins. Just commit suicide. This is the only way you can atone for your sins." The image in front of me said word by word, and there was still a trace on the corner of his mouth. An unnoticeable evil smile.
"Yes, just commit suicide. If you die, you will be free. If you die, it will be over. You will no longer have to bear this inner torment." The influence on the right also said with a wicked smile, and at the same time He also put his hand across his neck, making a suicidal gesture.
“Suicide?” I said dully, making the final struggle in my heart. Am I going to die like this? Am I the only one who can get rid of this sin by dying?
“Yes, commit suicide, do it, don’t hesitate, as long as you die, your comrades will definitely forgive you, and you can still reunite down there. What a wonderful thing this is, hahaha "You die, die quickly, you will be relieved when you die, and you won't have any worries anymore." All the images around me were laughing "hehe", and the laughter seemed to be taunting me again. , echoing throughout the space.