【I want to chat in the New Year 2025】
Sorry to interrupt everyone's reading rhythm.
Time flies so fast, it’s already 2025 in the blink of an eye, and this book has already written 750,000 words without me realizing it. It’s time for me to express my emotions!
I actually wrote books very early. At each stage, I was interested in different things and wrote different things. I wrote about ancient sadomasochism, dog-blood bosses, orthopedics, orcs, siblings... I wrote about them all. Quality didn't matter at that time. Anyway, I just love writing.
During this period, my grades were ups and downs, which is in line with the norm in the Internet literature circle and not worth mentioning.
The real situation happened at the end of 2022. At that time, I published a book called "Is it normal to help your boyfriend investigate the case while staying on the phone?" 》
I have never written on a crime investigation theme, so I am very motivated. I feel that no matter what my grades are, new themes will be a challenge for me, and I will definitely feel a great sense of accomplishment after finishing writing.
But less than two months after the new book was serialized, I clearly felt that I couldn’t write anymore.
My brain can't form pictures, and I can't organize words quickly when expressing myself. My creative ability seems to be disappearing little by little, and I don't understand why.
My friend comforted me and said that I had too much expectations for the new book, which caused psychological pressure. The greater the pressure, the less able I was to write, and asked me to adjust my mentality.
I thought it made sense, so I gave myself a holiday, stopped updating, and no longer forced myself to update 4,000 times a day. I focused on casually writing whatever I wanted.
Some people on the Internet say that if you can't write 4,000 words a day, such a person is not qualified to work full-time. I agree, but I think that my state is temporary, so I am not anxious at all.
Later, my updates became less and less, and I updated once every two days, or once every three days. Sometimes I only squeezed out 2,000 words a week. I obviously have an outline and a detailed outline, but I just can't write it.
In the later period, this book basically only updated one chapter a week, which was excruciatingly slow, and the results were naturally a mess.
Because there were so few updates, even the editor was suspicious of me, mistakenly thinking that I had gone to an external site to open a book. In fact, I really just couldn’t write it, alas...
In the end, the book was not completed until September 2023, with a total of 400,000 words. For some authors, 400,000 words is their update volume in two months, but for me, it took me a full eleven months to write.
My state after finishing: extremely frightened.
I used to think that the scariest thing was to lose the book, but later I realized that the scariest thing was not to be able to write it.
During this period of the epidemic, many people had symptoms of brain fog, including me. But I couldn’t make excuses for myself, because I knew very well that my inability to write was a problem that existed before then.
Then I thought it was because I didn't input enough, which caused the output barrier. I started to read a lot, binge-watched a lot of TV series, novels, comics, animations, movies, American TV series, Japanese dramas, Korean dramas, talk shows, cross talk sketches, comedies and musicals... I watched them all.
I couldn’t write anything and had no inspiration, so I just kept typing, and kept typing.
Then it’s 2024...
I still can’t write it.
Really miserable.
Miserable and confused, why did I suddenly lose the ability to write stories?
In the past, my mind was full of plots, but now, after doing a lot of input work, my mind is actually empty.
The editor urged me to publish a new book, but I said I had no inspiration.
But in our industry, we can’t keep waiting for inspiration that doesn’t come when we don’t know when. I will have no income throughout 2023 and rely entirely on savings. If I can’t write anything anymore, even if I can survive financially, my mentality I will definitely collapse.
I also have a fast-travel novel called "Who's Calling Me Again". I originally planned to write thirteen stories, from 1 to JQK. Unfortunately, I only finished six stories. I want to continue later, but I don't have any stories to write in my mind. , I can only end it with regret, it is my first eunuch novel in my life.
In 2024, I made a lot of efforts, adjusted my mentality, kept typing, bought various brain-enhancing foods and supplements, and also begged for a Wenchang Talisman. I put the Talisman under my pillow every day to sleep, hoping that my literary thoughts would flow (wry smile).
Read the original text in Liu#9@书/吧!
This book was published in May 2024. In fact, I started writing it in February. The version is very different from the current version, and I revised it countless times. The revision here does not mean to elaborate, I just want to express own stupidity.
Alas, it has been really difficult and painful for me to write in the past two years.
I feel like I have a split personality every day, questioning that I am no longer suitable for writing, while encouraging myself to persevere. So after publishing the book, I did not dare to expect any results, and only set two goals for myself:
1. Find your desire for expression;
2. Finish writing this story well.
I am working hard to achieve my goals, and you are my surprise. Every day I see the new book reviews you leave, I will be happy for most of the day.
From the time I published the book in May to now, half a year has passed. Sometimes I write bugs, sometimes I get stuck and ask for leave, and sometimes updates are delayed. No one has said anything bad to me. Of course, I don’t rule out that you are too lazy to scold me, but I really feel I am so happy, as if the kindest and most beautiful souls in the world are gathered around me.
I have a hunch that after entering 2025, I will definitely become better.
We will all be better.