29. Chapter 29, the sharpest talk


In the city defense battle of ancient cold weapon warfare, what was the simplest response to the enemy's trebuchet bombardment?

——That is to hide under the city wall as much as possible!

First of all, due to the relationship between parabola and ballistics, the trebuchet's stone bullets will either hit the city wall or fly far away from the city wall. It is impossible to change the trajectory just after flying over the city wall and fall directly, hitting those hiding under the city wall. Guy.

Secondly, stones thrown by manpower are not cannonballs after all. Under normal circumstances, it is difficult to directly bombard a thick and solid city wall until it collapses.

Of course, if you are really unlucky and hide closely under the city wall, you will still be injured or even killed. That's no one's fault.

Who told you to carry your luck like that? Even this kind of misfortune with a very small probability will happen.

"...shelling! Everyone, hurry up and take cover!"

Therefore, when the Jin Army's trebuchets began to launch their bombardment, Wang Qiu took out three steel helmets from his pocket, put them on himself, Guo Jing, and Nobita Nobita, and then rolled to the foot of the city wall. I watched in horror as stones flew over my head, crossed the tall Kaifeng city wall, and roared into the city, smashing holes in the roofs of houses and arousing heart-rending wails.

Stone bullets were struck one after another, the thick and solid city walls were trembling slightly, and everyone's hearts were beating wildly.

Under the clear blue sky after the snow, the trebuchets of the Jin Army continued to exert their power, one after another, like a tide, and they gradually stopped after a long time.

Fortunately among misfortunes, although the Jin army used a lot of fireballs on their trebuchets in order to increase their lethality - this was also a weapon that the Song Dynasty court threw outside the city in panic - it had just snowed heavily before, and the buildings in the city were The surface of the object is generally extremely moist, making it difficult to start a fire. And as a unique city with a population of one million in the world in this era, Kaifeng's fire protection measures are quite complete, and sporadic fires are quickly extinguished.

(In the twelfth century AD, the city of Rome, which once had a population of one million, had long since declined, and Constantinople only had a population of at most half a million.)

However, the city tower of Dongshuimen and the blocks near the city wall suffered another catastrophe, as if they had been severely ravaged by a rain of meteorites.

Of course, the Song army guarding the city did not fall to the ground and passively suffered a beating. When the Jin army's bombardment temporarily stopped, Zhang Shuye immediately returned to the top of the city and directed the Song army to use the bed crossbows and divine arm bows on the city wall to counterattack. ...And Guo Jing also took Wang Qiu and others and hurried up to the tower to watch the battle.

——Because there was no time to clean up, there was still a miserable scene of corpses lying scattered on the city wall and blood flowing all over the ground. Half of the tall and magnificent city gate tower has collapsed. The parapets on the city look like they have been gnawed by dogs, and many crenellations are flat. There were traces of smoke and fire all over the walls. The ground was stained with blood, and broken limbs, severed bodies, pieces of meat and other bits and pieces were scattered everywhere, making it look like a Shura field. The surviving imperial guards of the Song Dynasty huddled in the corner and trembled like quails. The extremely frightened expressions fully showed that these people were about to collapse.

However, the four time travelers who stepped into the battlefield had no intention of making any humanitarian exclamations. They just stared nervously at the defenders' next counterattack.

Under the scolding of the Song Army General, the imperial guards who had survived the round of "meteor rain" were quickly driven to the bed crossbows that had not yet been smashed, with their lips pursed tightly and their hands frantic. He shook the winch - only a series of "squeaking" sounds were heard, and the three large bows on the bed crossbow gradually bent into a half-moon shape. It seemed like it was about to be broken by this huge force. Next, the loaders worked together to pick up the thick pig iron crossbow arrows and stuffed them into the arrow trough. This type of heavy-duty crossbow arrow, which is specially designed for bed crossbows, weighs up to a hundred kilograms each.

In the eyes of the nomads who were extremely short of metal and needed to use stones and bones to sharpen arrow clusters, this was an unimaginable luxury.

Look next to the bed crossbow again. The shiny pig iron crossbows were piled neatly into a hill - for the Song people, this was a battle purely made of money and steel! In this dark age, only the Song people, who had the highest productivity in the world, could afford such a big deal.

Moreover, Bianliang, as the capital of the Song Dynasty, has been continuously repaired and built by generations of kings over the past hundreds of years. It can definitely be described as a golden city soup pool.

However, the Kaifeng Forbidden Army has sophisticated equipment and solid city walls, but it does not have veterans who are good at fighting, especially the kind of technical arms that require long-term training - no matter how powerful the weapons are, if they are just locked in a warehouse and covered with darkness, If there is dust, then it will be the same as nothing.

Therefore, although the dozens of bed crossbows fired at the same time on the Bianliang City Wall were huge, the results were really not very good - because the enemy's catapults were far away, and most of the shooters operating the bed crossbows on the city wall were rookies, the result was that More than 90% of the crossbow arrows missed, either falling behind or too far forward. They did not hit the trebuchet, but only hit some Jin Army soldiers... Of course, a few crossbow arrows were lucky enough to hit!

——There was only a sound of "crash!", and a trebuchet that was shot suddenly fell apart, knocking over a bunch of Jin soldiers, and bursts of cheers immediately came from the city wall... Unfortunately, luck was limited, and the shot was full. More than eighty crossbow arrows were fired, and only two Jin Army trebuchets were destroyed.

There is no way, in the era of cold weapons, operating a "high-tech weapon" such as a bed crossbow is also a technical job. Without keen visual inspection capabilities and rich operating experience, there is no way to play a heavy crossbow. In the hands of a rookie, whether the crossbow arrow can hit someone depends more on luck!

In contrast, after surviving the round of missiles fired by the Song Army's bed crossbows, the Jin Army also walked towards the catapult, preparing for the next round of bombardment. The Song Army was helpless about this - both pulling out the bowstring and loading the arrows It is a very time-consuming job, so the pace of firing crossbows cannot be fast.

"...This cannot continue like this! We must destroy the enemy's long-range attack weapons as soon as possible!"

Looking at the pale and shaky Song soldiers around him, Wang Qiu knew that these losers from peaceful civilian backgrounds were probably so frightened that their hands and feet were weak - well, it felt like they were driving the Taiwan Strawberry Soldiers of later generations into the army. Same as in the bloody trenches of Europe during World War I.

Therefore, even though Zhang Shuye and several officers roared like thunder, kicked and cursed, the winding and reloading speed of the defenders was still extremely slow.

On the contrary, the Jurchen Tatars showing off their power outside the city have the aura of elite soldiers who have fought in hundreds of battles. People in the Song Dynasty once commented on the combat effectiveness of the Jin soldiers: "People are like tigers, horses are like dragons, they climb mountains like apes, and they enter water like otters. The momentum is like Mount Tai, and China is like a tired egg.” The general meaning is that the Jin army is very powerful in combat, fighting on foot is like a tiger, fighting on horseback is like a dragon, fighting in the mountains is like an ape, and fighting on the water is like an otter.

It can be seen from this that in this Jin-Song war with millions of corpses, the Song Dynasty imperial army suffered a tragic defeat.

But in Wang Qiu's view, this desperate scene of panic and courage is the perfect stage for most savior heroes to appear.

"...Nobi-kun! Come here quickly, now is the time you need to use your talents!"

Classmate Wang Qiu used a high-powered telescope to overlook the battlefield outside the city for a while, then took out the only mortar from his pocket, and then dragged Nobita Nobita, who looked calm, over with self-knowledge - due to various There have been too many weird wars, and even the aliens have been defeated by countless aliens. This Japanese elementary school student The fifth grader's ability to adapt to bloody battlefields far surpassed that of many veterans - he said earnestly, "...I heard that you are a sharpshooter who is always on target, and you must be good at playing with cannons, so let's operate this weapon together." Let's fire the cannon! I'll be in charge of loading, and you'll take care of the aiming and ranging..."

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

What kind of person is Nobi Nobita, the first male protagonist of the Doraemon comic series?

...Hmm...I often get zero points in exams, lack of motor cells, like to spy on girls taking baths, get bullied every day, cry often, have no extracurricular skills such as Go, music, painting, calligraphy, writing, photography, etc. It seems to be useless.

But he actually also has two outstanding special skills: first, the school's famous tumbler rope expert; second, the invincible sharpshooter in the universe.

In short, as long as it is a long-range shooting weapon, no matter what type it is, he can usually achieve a hit rate of nearly 100% in his hands!

So, on the top of Bianliang City in the winter of the first eleventh month of the first year of Jingkang, Nobita Nobita used the mortar Wang Qiu got from infinite space to once again demonstrate that he had defeated space monsters, Iron Man Corps and aliens. The invader's shooting skills successfully made every shot a sure hit!

"...Two hundred and fifty degrees, load high-explosive bombs...Hot load launch...Ready~~~fire!!"

In an instant, there was only a "dang" sound, and the mortar shell came out of the barrel instantly, drawing a high parabola in the air, landing accurately at the foot of a catapult, blowing a wooden beam into pieces, and incidentally The entire catapult collapsed!

——As soon as he touches a shooting weapon, Nobi Nobita can instantly transform from a loser with zero points to a ballistics expert!

"...Re-adjust! Move the muzzle fifteen degrees to the left, raise the elevation three degrees... Prepare~~~fire!!"

Listening to the incredibly accurate visual data from Nobita Nobita, Wang Qiu shook the handle desperately, and after recalibrating the muzzle position, the second mortar shell landed accurately next to the other catapult. , blowing up at least a dozen Jin Army engineers and blowing up several people into bloody men... But more Jin Army still rushed forward fearlessly, trying to use this catapult to attack the Song Army on the city wall. Fight back.

"...Come again, come again! Continue launching according to the coordinates just now!"

Accompanied by Nobi Nobita's excited shouts, Wang Qiu stuffed mortar shells one after another from the muzzle, blasting the trebuchet positions of the siege Jin army into pieces of blood - the trebuchets these days have the longest range. It was only about two hundred and fifty meters away, definitely within the range of any mortar.

And looking at the bursts of fire on the Jin Army's position outside the city, the Song Imperial Guards on the city wall couldn't help but cheer with joy.

At the same time, Guo Jing was sweating profusely and busy deceiving Zhang Shuye, who was so curious, that this was a thunder method invited from heaven.

Unfortunately, although Nobita Nobita's artillery skills were astonishing and almost every shot was sure to hit, it was a pity that Wang Qiu only had twenty shells in total, so he couldn't bear to let go after ten rounds. As for the more valuable RPG rocket launcher, Wang Qiu simply didn't want to show it off.

In this way, the damage caused by a mere ten mortar shells in front of tens of thousands of Jin troops outside the city was almost negligible.

Therefore, after Wang Qiu took back the hot mortar, Nobita Nobi turned around and shouted the famous special mantra to Doraemon: "...Doraemon, Come on, help me think of a solution!”

And Wang Qiu also looked at Doraemon's chubby body with interest, looking forward to what incredible novelty props he could come up with - many urban young men in this world must have had the same experience as Wang Qiu in childhood. Let's use Doraemon's magical props to kill everyone's dreams!

Unfortunately, Doraemon, who is now in a serious debt situation, seems to have become a little less powerful...

——Doraemon, who was treating the wounded soldiers at the top of the city, heard this and quickly put away the automatic medical kit. Then he lowered his head and hurriedly rummaged through his fourth-dimensional pocket. The more he rummaged, the darker his face became. It’s ugly: “…Oops, I used too many weapons to fight zombies last time, and I haven’t had time yet. My credit card was frozen even if I didn’t buy a new one! Well, let’s see, the air cannon and the shock gun have been damaged. The shrinking light has no power... It seems like this is the only thing left that can be considered a weapon. A billion-ton earth-destroying bomb... why not try throwing it out?"

Seeing Doraemon take out a huge bomb with a skull painted on it from his pocket, and seeing the Jin Army under the city wall eager to try, Wang Qiu was almost paralyzed with fear: "...No, no, no! Don’t throw it away! Doraemon! Even if you want to die, I still want to live!”

What is the concept of 100 billion tons equivalent? Equivalent to the power of five million Hiroshima atomic bombs! It is enough to plow the entire Japanese island into a radioactive wasteland. If it is used to bombard the Jurchen cavalry a few miles outside Bianliang City... Do you want to commit suicide? What about suicide? Or commit suicide?

It's hard to say whether the earth will be destroyed if such a super bomb hits it, but at least the entire Central Plains will be burned to the ground!

But such a powerful super nuclear bomb was only used to kill rats in Doraemon's hands... Rats in the 22nd century are really scary!

Seeing Doraemon taking out all kinds of strange things from his pockets and scattering them all over the city wall, Wang Qiu finally couldn't help but give his suggestion: "...Doraemon, here In this case, it seems that you should use your 'lie to come true' to make the enemy surrender immediately! ”

——[Lies Come True Mouth], one of Doraemon's magical props. As long as you put it on, no matter how ridiculous what you say next, you can forcefully make the lies come true... For example, Nobi Nobita uses this thing Son successfully turned his father into a karate master and a flying superman...

"...It can't be done, Wang Qiujun!" Doraemon sighed and waved his hand, "...'Lie Come True Mouth' can only work on one person at a time. If you know the identity of one of the enemies below, name, it can indeed make him defect immediately - but there are tens of thousands of enemy troops attacking the city!"

"...If that's the case, then I have to change something - you still have the sound coagulant, right?"

Seeing that the super props that could reverse the law of cause and effect were no longer in use, Wang Qiu regretfully had to settle for the next best thing and use more crude physical strikes instead.

——[Sound Coagulant], one of Doraemon’s magical props. Anyone who drinks it and shouts loudly will turn the words into a big brick and fall down, knocking over the person being yelled at. This magic weapon is usually used as a joke, but it can also be used to defeat enemies: housewives can use it to deal with wild cats that steal fish, office girls can use it to deal with idiots and gangsters, and when Nobi Nobita is screaming in the mountains, Then he knocked over a bunch of passers-by and became the Daily headlines... What's even more tragic is Doraemon himself. Because he caught a cold after drinking the sound coagulant, Nobi's house piled up a pile of solid sounds, which almost collapsed the floor - along with Doraemon A dream sneezes one after another...

But in Wang Qiu's eyes, this kind of boulder that can be shot out at the speed of sound is probably much more powerful than early artillery.

"...Use a frozen voice to hit people with your mouth? That's a good idea!" Doraemon's head was obviously not stupid, and he figured out the key after just a few twists, "...but we must hurry up! The enemy's next round of stone-throwing attacks is about to begin..."

——Due to time constraints, there was really no time to convince others, so the first round of rhetoric could only be delivered by Great Immortal Guo Jingguo himself.

"...Listen, you Jurchen barbarians, if you dare to offend our Central Plains dynasty, you are really asking for your own death..."

On the tower of Dongshui Gate in Bianliang, Guo Jing held his nose and poured a large mouthful of sound coagulant into his mouth. Then he held his hand on the crenellations of the city wall, took a deep breath of cold air, and shouted loudly at the enemy troops outside the city. He cursed loudly.

Next, along with his powerful curse, in the stunned eyes of the soldiers of both armies, huge cement blocks as big as calves flew out of his mouth at the speed of sound every 340 seconds. came out and hit Jin Jun's head hard!

In an instant, dust and smoke flew everywhere, and flesh and blood flew everywhere. The tall catapult was smashed into pieces, and the golden soldiers who controlled the catapult were smashed to pieces.

"...Master Guo's magic is invincible! I, the Song Dynasty, will win!"

When the garrison at the top of the city saw this, they cheered continuously and their morale was greatly boosted. Master Guo Daxian, who had already shouted hoarsely, took advantage of the situation and handed over the job of talking loudly to a group of professionals - in ancient wars, the two armies often yelled and scolded each other before a confrontation, so there was a group of professionals among the Song Army. The professional "loud voice" in charge of the scolding array asked them to drink the sound coagulant one by one, and then stand on the edge of the crenel to scold the Jin people.

It has to be said that these Forbidden Army soldiers who are specifically responsible for scolding formations are still very dedicated to their jobs. Not only do they have loud voices, but they also use filthy words one after another. They scolded them for a full two-quarters of an hour without repeating them. The Jin army attacking the city thoroughly enjoyed the power of some verbal attacks.

——The people yelling loudly at the top of the city, and there are mountains of rocks under the city...

Seeing that it was so easy to kill the enemy and serve the country, several civil servants also had the courage to follow suit, drank a large mouthful of sound coagulant, and then cursed nonstop towards the golden soldiers running around the city...
< br>

——According to incomplete statistics, before all five bottles of sound coagulant in Doraemon's pocket were used up, thirty Song soldiers and fifteen civil servants who joined in the fun had cursed about 500,000 words in total. With filthy words, he threw more than 100,000 tons of solid sound at the enemy's head!

Of course, under the sharpest bombardment in history, the Jin Army's camp was in a mess, and the catapult position was almost buried under stones. The morale of the siege Jin army plummeted immediately, and they had no choice but to call for gold and withdraw their troops in advance. The Song Army, who was originally frightened, instantly became full of morale and cheered like thunder. At the same time, Emperor Qinzong Zhao Huan, who had been unhappy in recent days, finally heard the good news that Immortal Guo had cast a spell to defeat the enemy at the top of the city.

Previous Details Next