Chapter 10: Cultivation as an immortal is difficult, your Majesty should be a superman!
Under the endless bombardment of the Song people, the Jin army, which was hit hard by hundreds of thousands of tons of solid sound, finally retreated from Bianliang City.
And our Great Immortal Guo Jingguo, while enjoying the cheers of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians, also did not forget to encourage these guys:
"...Of course we cannot despise the fighting power of the Jurchens, but we cannot underestimate them either. They are both born from parents and made of flesh and blood. Why are there so many Jurchens that they are invincible in the world? If you are afraid of him from the bottom of your heart, then you have lost. . Knives versus swords, guns versus guns, it all comes down to skill! There is no one who cannot be killed in this world, it just depends on how to deal with them. Even the so-called Jurchen cavalry are not completely invincible to you..."
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At the same time, Wang Qiu, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita were busy counting the gains from this battle.
"...I only got 200 reward points for changing the course of the Bianliang Dongshui Gate attack and defense? This amount of money is too rare!"
Looking at the first number of reward points displayed on the [Book of Time Travel], Wang Qiu couldn't help but feel a little headache.
According to such a stingy reward standard, how long will it take to accumulate enough 50,000 points for the "minimum escape standard"?
However, compared with the lack of income from reward points, the actual monetary income of the travelers is quite considerable - after collecting mahogany furniture, huanghuali window frames, nanmu beams, natural herbs, jade ornaments, and official kilns along the way, After all the porcelain and other valuables were stuffed into the automatic pawn machine, Doraemon once again obtained the latest income of 70 million yen. Coupled with the proceeds from dismantling the Abbot's Temple of Tensei Temple and stuffing it into automatic pawn machines, Doraemon's total income on the first day of the Northern Song Dynasty has reached 100 million yen!
Although it is still far from the total debt of 300 billion, Doraemon finally saw a glimmer of hope in paying off the debt.
However, before Wang Qiu and the others could discuss how to continue scraping three feet of ground in Bianliang City in this time and space, and collect at least tens of billions of yen, a veteran came to him. The eunuch Xiao Huangmen brought the emperor's summons with a roar.
——Of course, meeting the emperor is a matter for Great Immortal Guo Jingguo. Wang Qiu, Doraemon and Nobita Nobita, as "entourage", did not have the honor of seeing Long Yan, and could only wait in the side hall - in fact, due to their status, they were not ordered to guard outside the palace gate. It would be nice to blow cold air.
Next, it soon arrived in the evening. Guo Jing was invited by the emperor to enjoy the royal meal together, seemingly because of the pleasant conversation. Wang Qiu and the others were also in a small room somewhere that looked like a utility room or a concierge. Received a "working meal" provided by the palace.
——The first is a plate of cold dishes, salted red fruits. Then there are two meat and two vegetables: steamed mutton, soup bones, sesame-fried chicken skin, and fake fried meat. The so-called fake fried pork is fried winter melon. The so-called Ma Fu Chicken Skin is made by boiling mung bean powder and sesame paste into a paste, and then freezing it into a tofu shape. After it is made, it has a light yellow color with pitted spots, which is similar to chicken skin, so it is called this... basically similar to that of later generations. Fast food restaurants are all cheap food.
For these Song Dynasty dishes, Wang Qiu, a modern Chinese, was very uncomfortable - the dishes of the Northern Song Dynasty were very different from modern Chinese dishes, especially the plate of salted red fruits. Wang Qiu frowned and fiddled with it for a long time. The large salt particles on the plate were so hard that I didn't dare to put them in my mouth: the Song Dynasty people's heavy-flavored food with salt and wine is really incredible to modern people.
On the contrary, Doraemon and Nobi Nobita tasted it with gusto - although traditional Japanese cuisine is mainly cold and light, and rarely uses hot oil for cooking, it is very salty, and the use of salt is simply desperate. Put inside. Even when cooking porridge and tea, salt must be sprinkled in...
Some people in later generations said that "traditional Chinese culture is in Japan and South Korea", does it also include daily eating habits?
However, although people in the Song Dynasty tried their best to add salt when cooking certain dishes, as if it was free of charge, in fact, the salt in the Song Dynasty was not cheap at all. There is even a proverb among the people: "The salt that solves the pond is whiter than the snow, and a handful is worth ten thousand yuan." —Because the price of salt is so high, people in Song Dynasty are eating vegetables Putting a lot of salt on the street has become a way to show off your wealth. The more expensive something is, the more you have to eat... If possible, Wang Qiu thinks he could try selling salt to raise money, but at the moment, the war is in chaos. The scene seems to be easier to search directly.
Also, since it was a "working meal", there was no wine on the table, only a small bucket of white liquid drink called "Jiang Shui"... This kind of thing called "Jiang Shui" by the Song Dynasty people was made from corn. It is fermented and tastes like a lactic acid drink. It is sweet and slightly sour, which can help digestion and appetite. Unfortunately, it was really cold right now and it was really not the time to drink cold drinks. Wang Qiu just drank two cups and did not dare to drink any more.
After reluctantly eating a not-so-palatable dinner, the sky was already bleak. Wang Qiu and the other three time travelers had no choice but to sit around a candle for a long time in boredom before waiting until the Great Immortal Guo Jingguo came out from the emperor's side— —Instead of taking them back, we came to Doraemon for help!
"...It's pitiful that you sit down at the front table in the middle of the night and don't ask about the common people or the ghosts and gods..." Guo Jing smiled bitterly at them with a very ugly face, "...As the saying goes, poor people must be hateful. This person played the role in Jingkang's shame. The protagonist, Emperor Qinzong, is truly a fool! ”
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In fact, Guo Jing was shocked when he saw Emperor Qinzong Zhao Huan today - at first glance, the Emperor of the Song Dynasty was already too thin to be human-shaped, and his face was as pale as a bloodless face. White paper, high cheekbones, a hoarse voice, and a staggering wobble when walking. He looks like a drug addict who has been taking drugs for more than ten years, and also like a terminally ill patient... How did the emperor do this to himself? Becoming like this?
Fortunately, a young eunuch secretly told him the details: "... Your Majesty has been practicing too hard recently, and he often takes elixirs, and his body is very weak."
——It turns out that the emperor took too many pills and gave himself heavy metal poisoning!
In fact, Emperor Qinzong Zhao Huan, like his father Song Huizong, was not only interested in poetry, calligraphy and painting, but also obsessed with practicing immortality and Taoism. He often took some elixirs to seek immortality. However, the alchemy technique these days is very unscientific, and they especially like to add toxic and harmful heavy metals such as mercury and lead powder into the elixir... As a result, Zhao Huan was fine when he was the prince. Under the repeated defeats of the invaders and the Song army, the psychological pressure was indescribable, and he had nightmares for days and months. In order to get a good night's sleep, he had no choice but to take pills, learn from the celebrities of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, and take Wu Shi San (a famous ancient drug with similar effects to opium, but much more expensive), forcing himself to It turned into such a bad state.
All in all, after meeting the Emperor of the Song Dynasty, who was sick, haggard and energetic, Guo Jing immediately thought of an image - in the movie "Destruction of an Empire", the man who was trapped in a bunker at the end of World War II, Hitler watched the fall of Berlin!
But there is nothing that can be done. If the tension and depression cannot be relieved in time, the emperor may have gone crazy!
——Why are many emperors obsessed with immortality? Because the emperor is an extremely challenging and high-risk profession, most emperors can "huddle" through their lives peacefully and die of their old age, which is not bad. If you want to be a famous king or a holy king, it is not that difficult! There are only a dozen or so famous emperors in Chinese history, while there are countless mediocre kings, weak kings, and tyrants.
In a sense, the emperor is the freest person in the world, because his power has no restrictions; but from another perspective, the emperor is the least free person in the world, and the problem also lies in his unlimited power - -For this reason, once anyone gets the imperial power, they must not give it up easily. The fate of most emperors after losing their power is usually extremely miserable, even if they are seized by their own sons: the tragedies of most emperors in history Destiny is enough to make anyone shudder!
Throughout the ages, elites from all walks of life in the world have been weighing, spying and calculating the emperor day and night. And every emperor has to work tremblingly, fighting wits and courage with elites from all walks of life and even his own descendants throughout his life, and he cannot relax for a minute - the people of the world are the slaves of the emperor, and the emperor is the slave of power. . But even being a slave to power is better than being a dead person!
Years of endless anxiety have made the emperors highly nervous all the year round, and even the winds and cranes are shaking, and everything is in a state of mental sub-health. Therefore, all kinds of incredible perversions and absurd deeds abound in the noble emperors. . For example, Gao Wei, the empress of the Northern Qi Dynasty, liked to play the role of a beggar, Xiao Baojuan, the deposed emperor of the Southern Qi Dynasty, the Marquis of Donghun, hunted mice and slept in, Emperor Wanli of the Ming Dynasty did not go to court for twenty years, Emperor Hongwu killed heroes indiscriminately, Emperor Jiajing was paranoid and stubborn, and Emperor Tianqi was addicted. Yu carpentry work...etc., all because of mental illness.
In short, the emperor was under too much pressure and was often in a state of sub-optimal mental health. If he was not careful, he might directly fall into mental disorder. Those emperors who were lucky could still numb themselves with wine and sex in the harem, or devote themselves to calligraphy, painting, singing, dancing and other arts; those who were unlucky were wasting people and wealth, killing ministers indiscriminately, shaking the foundation of the court, or worshiping religion-this era can be There are no full-time psychiatrists, only psychiatrists Buddhist eminent monks and Taoist heavenly masters came to make guest appearances, trying to find ways to cure the emperor's mental illness... This objectively provided huge market demand for "real people who protect the country" like Guo Jing, and also allowed all dynasties to interfere in government affairs. "Demon ways" and "demon monks" are always banned.
So, a problem arises - Political Commissar Guo Jing, who traveled through time, saw that he was recruiting "Liujia Divine Soldiers" to resist the Jinlu, so he naturally regarded himself as a military commander, but he did not expect that his His job was actually the "Queen's Psychiatrist"... But when the emperor summoned him to the palace, he only mentioned the war in one sentence. Instead, he asked very eagerly about cultivating immortals and immortality, and he suddenly felt a little confused.
Now that the city is besieged by golden soldiers, do you still want to "pity me for sitting in front of me in the middle of the night, not asking about the common people or the ghosts and gods"?
The monarchs and ministers of the Great Song Dynasty really competed with each other to death without any limit!
Fortunately, there is someone behind Political Commissar Guo Jing, and it is Doraemon who has great background and can be said to be omnipotent.
"...Doraemon, I can only ask for your help in this matter. Is there any way to make the emperor who is poisoned by heavy metals become an immortal?"
After listening to Guo Jing's complaints, Wang Qiu decisively followed Nobi Nobita's example and set his expectant eyes on Doraemon.
"...It's very difficult... [If Telephone Booth] can only allow people to jump to another parallel time and space, and it usually cannot be used in other worlds. [Lies Come True Mouth] can actually make the emperor himself become an immortal, yes, but The pre-recorded immortal templates above are all old men with white beards. I heard that the emperor is less than thirty years old. If he is made to age so much all at once... should this be regarded as helping him cultivate immortality or causing a quick death? ?”
Doraemon said distressedly, "...and [Lies Come True Mouth] has a time limit. It would be good if it can last for half a day."
"...I know this is very difficult for you, Doraemon, but please come up with an idea. You know, the 300 billion debt you are carrying right now can only be paid by a rich man like the emperor. I can afford it! Please, Doraemon!" Wang Qiu continued.
"...Then I'll think about it...well...otherwise, let's fool you like this first!"
In view of the above reasons, Doraemon had no choice but to think sadly for a while, and then finally took out a few magical props, "...use the [Automatic Medical Kit] to diagnose and treat the emperor first, and cure him first anyway." He suffers from heavy metal poisoning. Then let him put on this Superman suit - the immortal suit in the future world is really not available for a while, so let's make do with this Superman suit first! Anyway, he can still fly..."< br>
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So, when the civil and military ministers of the Song Dynasty entered the palace to attend court early the next morning, they saw a shocking scene that could make the blood pressure of the scholar-bureaucrats soar: a group of eunuchs and maidens gathered in front of the palace with their necks raised, all of them looking extremely nervous. Pointing fingers and shouting from time to time. And Emperor Qinzong, who only wore a blue tights, a red cloak, and a pair of red underwear, was flying around the palace in this outfit that was both immoral and prone to catching colds. He laughed so happily: "...Hehehehe, I have become an immortal! I have become an immortal!"
——Obviously, even if he became a superman, the Emperor of the Song Dynasty had no intention of going out incognito for private visits, acting chivalrously, and saving the world. On the contrary, it caused destruction in the palace: due to the temporary inability to adapt to Superman's power, His Majesty the Emperor demolished a large palace to pieces.
As for the ministers and officials in the Great Song Dynasty, after seeing this superhuman emperor in strange clothes, how messy they would feel, and what kind of chaos they would cause... This will not be mentioned for the time being. . At the same time, Guo Jingguo, Doraemon and other time-travelers also happily began to destroy the royal gardens of the Northern Song Dynasty, or "demolition by order"...
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