Chapter 30: Evacuate the Holy See!
At the moment when the angel descended, every living citizen in Avignon opened the window in surprise, walked out of the door, and then fell to his knees on the ground with tears of joy, enjoying the sudden moment with infinite gratitude. The brilliant brilliance falling from the sky, giving people a slight sting!
It is sacred, bright, dazzling, pure and comfortable, a wonderful light that can drive away all gloom and evil, and heal all fatigue and illness!
Bathed in this brilliant holy white light, the tired nuns who had been taking care of the sick for days suddenly felt energetic and their bodies were filled with inexhaustible vitality; the dying patients, who were covered in abscesses, rotten and smelly, were pleasantly surprised. I suddenly discovered that all the large and small dark spots, abscesses and tumors all over my body, as well as various hidden wounds and old problems over the years, were all healing at a speed that could be clearly seen with the naked eye. Even some wounds that did not need to be healed were indiscriminately healed by this white light. Under the holy light, many women suddenly felt their earlobes heat up, and then there was a "clang" sound, and their earrings fell to the ground... ...The treatment was so effective that it even healed their ear holes!
Then, just like the situation in Marseille, in front of these holy angels who eliminated the disaster, the dying citizens of Avignon all cheered and worshiped, and their hearts were filled with infinite joy and relief. Qiaolick, who had just been cured of a serious illness by a magical magic, was so excited that he burst into tears of gratitude. He almost danced to welcome the "angels" into the luxurious Papal Palace, thinking that this was a great honor.
Then, it took these "angels" less than an hour to completely destroy the bright image of heaven in Qiaolick's mind.
"...Is this...a relief panel from the ancient Roman era? Is it a real thing or a fake! No matter, let's dig it out of the wall first..."
"...Oh! There is actually a secret room behind the relief board, and there is also a large box of gold coins! At least three thousand ducats! This pope's private money is really rich! Moreover, this treasure was just his hasty escape It was left behind when it was too late to clean up. Could it be said that there is more money with him? Well, since we solved such a big trouble for him, we must ask for another filial piety when we meet. OK..."
"...Arab-style scimitar? How could there be such a thing in the house of a European pope? Could it be a trophy of the Crusaders? But the gems inlaid on it are quite big... Use props to identify it... Hmm, A genuine Damascus knife! It is also used by the caliph of the Arab Empire! This knife can be pawned for 10 million yen! It's a pity that there are no more..."
"...Pearl bracelet? Alas, this thing is not very valuable in modern times. After all, pearls can be cultivated artificially...Eh? The inkwell in the Pope's study is actually made of gold? What a luxury. It must be confiscated immediately! And this mahogany desk seems to be quite valuable, let’s pawn it together! Who is that? Pack up the documents you wrote, I want to move the desk away..."
"...These handmade woolen coats embroidered with gold thread seem to be worth a lot of money, and the mink and bearskin over there seem to be good too. Unfortunately, they are too old and have faded and lost some hair... No matter how much they can be sold for, How much is it?”
"... Damn it, why are the stables in this palace empty? Oh, by the way, probably the Pope took all the horses away when he was fleeing. When the old man comes back, he must let him Horses and carriages were donated..."
"...I've almost got all the valuable things, now let's count the gains...Well, 220 million yen have been raised in the Papal Palace alone, and there are seven churches, seven monasteries and monasteries in the city. Seven nunneries, how many things can be looted there? ”
……
In the dusty and sparsely populated Papal Palace, a certain robber cat named Doraemon was jumping up and down excitedly, throwing every valuable thing he saw into the [automatic pawn machine]. Whether it was Persian carpets, ivory furnishings, gold and silver vessels, statues and paintings, exquisite antiques, luxurious clothing, or furniture made of high-end wood... they were all swept away by him, even the heavy bronze lamps on the niches. .
——As a "little fresh" pope who likes luxury and enjoyment, and pursues literature and elegance, Clement VI obviously has no interest in asceticism and purification, and he has no intention of treating himself badly in life, so in the Papal Palace The various furnishings and utensils are all luxurious and elegant, and everything is of high quality—— Therefore, except for a few worthless rags, the entire splendid, luxurious and magnificent Papal Palace was quickly plundered by Doraemon with extremely high efficiency as if it had never been renovated. In order to take away some fixed items He even didn’t hesitate to break holes in the walls and destroy statues and decorations!
But we have to admit that the European Catholic Church in this era has indeed amassed an astonishing amount of wealth through cleverly creating names and plundering all Christians. Even if the wealth paid to the "weak center" of the Avignon Holy See only accounts for a tiny fraction of the church's total income, and the wealth that can ultimately be transferred to the Pope himself is even smaller, it is still enough to make the robber Doraemon The cat was overjoyed.
"...Well, it seems that we can leave the fundraising to Doraemon. Let's go to the square outside now and treat the citizens of Avignon! We can't just collect money and not do anything!" "Seeing Doraemon almost meowing with excitement, Wang Qiu sighed, turned around and said to the two royal sisters Marikawa Shizuka and Nan Lixiang, only to find that Marikawa Shizuka was clasping her hands together and lowering her head, as if she was remembering something. look like.
So, Wang Qiu couldn't help but asked in confusion, "...Eh? Excuse me, Teacher Ju Chuan, what are you doing?"
"...To pay homage to the lost integrity of my childhood idol, Doraemon." Teacher Shizuka Marikawa replied with a sad look on her face.
——Oh, there is no other way. As the saying goes, "Once you owe a loan shark in this life, your moral integrity will be useless from now on"!
Here, please observe three minutes of silence for Doraemon-kun's integrity...
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"...Oh! God! What are you doing? What kind of angels did you send to save the world?"
Although as a person who had just saved his life from death, the Pope's physician Jolick did not care much about these extraneous things (they were not his things anyway), but looking at these angels who were supposed to be noble and holy and not to eat the fireworks of the world, Treating the plague and saving all sentient beings on the bright side Yu, behind the scenes, he was actually like those ferocious bandits, looting and scraping the ground in the solemn Papal Palace, not even sparing the sacred magic weapons. Next, it seems that he will fight against all the various factions in the city. In the monastery... Dr. Qiaolik still couldn't help but feel that his soul was broken.
"...Oh, this man, please be a little more open-minded! We also have our own difficulties! It is not easy to get a good job in heaven. In order to seek a promotion and get this mission to save the world, Our leader is A huge tribute to the archangels in charge! Plus a lot of promises! If we can't get our money back in the mortal world, why do we have to work so hard to explain it to our superiors and subordinates? ”
Senior Sister Ma Tong, who happened to be slacking off next to him, casually made nonsense to the dazed medieval Christian, "...don't show such a surprised expression! In your mortal church, aren't priesthoods being bought and sold every day? ? Don’t say that you didn’t know it after staying in Avignon for so many years. Every priest, bishop, and archbishop has to spend a lot of money to take office. It will cost more to get a job instead of sitting on the bench. As for the cost of running for the pope, it will only be more... Obviously, all these expenses for seeking positions and jobs must be paid after the buyer gets the position and the job. After being sent out, try to make more money from the job, otherwise no one will be willing to work for the church, and the situation is the same in heaven..."
"...The Mortal Church in Avignon...is indeed somewhat corrupt and depraved...I have to admit this. In addition, there are many debauched things, and many people are criticizing the Pope. In many cases, the palace has almost become a prostitution and trading shop..." After taking a deep breath, Dr. Qiaolik finally nodded with difficulty, but still had a very hurt expression on his face, "...but where you are? Heaven!”
"...Well, what happened to heaven? Which angel was not a mortal before ascending to heaven?" "Angel" Ma Tong raised his eyebrows and retorted, "...Besides, we are only trying to get some benefits while saving the world. , much better than those guys who only collect money and do nothing!”
"...Well, it seems that I, a foolish mortal, have imagined heaven too beautifully." Dr. Qiaolik rubbed his temples with throbbing veins, "...I wonder if you can satisfy the curiosity of this humble mortal like me. My heart, how much did you spend to get this job?”
"...If converted in terms of mortal currency, it is approximately equivalent to 1.5 million ducats in gold coins. Of course, this is only the most basic amount. If the time drags on for too long, interest will be calculated every month, because We were able to take office by borrowing usury..." Ma Tong replied.
"...One and a half million ducats?! Oh God! I don't know if there are so many gold coins in the entire Kingdom of France! The total annual income the church receives from all countries in Europe is only 300,000 to 400,000 Ducat! It should be said that this is the price of heaven!”
(Before Columbus discovered America, causing a large amount of American gold and silver to flow into the European market, due to the long-term outflow of gold and silver caused by the continuous import of oriental spices, silk and other luxury goods from the ancient Roman era, the amount of gold and silver in Europe in the Middle Ages was very scarce. Even though It is difficult for a king to collect thousands of gold coins, and the number of things that can be bought with the same ducats and florins before and after the Age of Discovery is simply as high as the sky.)
Qiao Lik was first frightened by this horrifying amount of money and took a breath, but then he discovered an even more incredible fact, "...Wait? Credit? Usury?! Interest charged every month?! I Remember, according to canon law, usury is an unethical sin. Christians who do this should not be able to go to heaven unless they receive atonement and forgiveness. Are there seats for Jews in the Lord’s heaven? ”
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"...This...you should have imagined it. You can buy a place in heaven with money...Of course, the same goes for a place in hell. Do you have any dead enemies you want to torture? As long as you give enough money, Even the saints among saints can be thrown into the lowest level of hell! On the other hand, it is easy for sinners to go to heaven. As long as the gold and silver are thrown into the box and the sound is heard, the soul will immediately jump out of purgatory..."
Ma Tong, who always lacked moral integrity, kept his face open and mouthed nonsense without changing his expression, but poor imperial doctor Qiao Liq believed it.
"...Oh! I'm desperate, I'm desperate! God! I'm desperate for this paradise, which is just like the church and everything depends on money!"
"...Please be realistic, this uncle who looks like a bear, the world has always revolved around wealth and power, whether in heaven, hell or on earth. What are the priests of Avignon like? Morals and conduct are what we learn in heaven! In short, just like the situation in the church, there is nothing that money cannot trade in heaven, but the price is much more expensive than in earth..."
Facing this medieval uncle who was forcibly forced to become a complainer, Senior Sister Ma Tong reached out and patted Dr. Qiaolik's broad shoulder as if to comfort her, and then continued to brag without drafting, "...as long as you can raise the money. With enough money, even the throne of God or Jesus can be bought and sold, just like the Praetorian Guards of the ancient Roman Empire often auctioned thrones Same... Hey, don't faint! Uncle, hey! Hey, this guy looks quite strong, but his mental quality is so bad that he can't even bear such a little stimulation... ...Doraemon! Doraemon! Where are you? Come and help me, this guy is too heavy and I can’t pull it after he faints!”
"...I'm busy! Just put it on the floor first! Wait until I pry open this wall and see if there is a secret room hiding treasure behind..."
——From the far end of the corridor, the vague and absent-minded reply of a certain twenty-second century bandit cat comrade came. Well, in a sense, Ma Tong really didn’t lie: as long as you have enough money, Doraemon can indeed make you addicted to being a god... Of course, the fees for this "Project to God" Standard, it will definitely be very, very, very, very expensive...