500. Chapter 500, The Dutch’s Australian Strange Stories (Part 1)


Chapter 191: The Dutch’s Australian Mysteries (Part 1)

As early as 1632, the Dutch in the Batavia colony on Java Island had already begun to organize fleets to go south to explore the location of Australia.

——Before this, in the autumn of 1631, the four major traveler groups from North America, South America, Australia and Hainan Island jointly dispatched more than 300 ocean-going sailing ships to gather in Batavia, scaring the island of Java. The Dutch East India Company almost suffered a nervous breakdown.

After the departure of this huge fleet that had never been seen in the East Asian waters, the Dutch East India Company, who was shocked and learned about Australia's intelligence, immediately began to organize a sailing expedition team as quickly as possible to prepare to explore the mysterious land of Australia. direction, seeking opportunities for trade and profit.

Next, the first Dutch expedition ship to explore Australia set off from Batavia in January of the following year. After fifteen days of sailing, it crossed the Timor Sea in a southeasterly direction and arrived in Darwin in northern Australia. Near the harbor, the Australian continent was discovered for the first time.

But the problem is that the Dutch expedition ship mistakenly continued eastward along the northern coast of Australia. They never expected that the first colonial stronghold of the "Australians", "Zhongnan City", was actually the Golden Bay area (later Derby Port) in the southwest behind them...

As a result, the Dutch ship first headed east, passing through the Torres Strait between New Guinea and Australia, and then turned southward relying on the push of the East Australian Warm Current, surveying the east coast of Australia from north to south, which the travelers had not yet set foot on. , and finally discovered New Zealand. However, it was getting further and further away from the travelers, and all they saw along the way were undeveloped and wild lands, which made the Dutch expedition members very disappointed and exhausted.

Therefore, after leaving New Zealand, the Dutch expedition ship entered the westerly belt and was blown eastward across the Pacific by the prevailing westerly winds throughout the year. It went to the Spanish colonial port in South America to obtain supplies, thus missing the traverser's stronghold on the west coast of Australia.

At the same time, the Dutch East India Company had been paying attention to the Chinese alliance merchant ships passing through Batavia, trying to follow them to find traces of Australia. However, before 1634, the various member republics of the Chinese League and the under-construction Australian headquarters relied entirely on the "Random Gate" to communicate with each other, and there were no sea routes from the various member republics to Australia. Even among the various union republics, the exchange of merchant ships has been reduced a lot because of the [Random Door] that can allocate transportation personnel and materials. The result was that the Dutch East India Company made a completely futile effort and waited in Batavia for a full year and a half without encountering a Chinese alliance merchant ship bound for Australia.

In the second half of 1633, under the insistence of Admiral Anthony van Diemen, the Dutch East India Company in Batavia finally sent a second expedition ship to explore Australia. The second Dutch expedition ship was lucky enough to arrive directly in the Jinwan waters and met the fishing boat from Zhongnan City. At this point, the Dutch East India Company finally found the location of the Australian travelers and established preliminary contact.

The Chinese League held a special meeting on how to deal with Dutch visitors who suddenly visited Australia. Some people suggested that these uninvited Dutch people be detained to prevent Australia's secrets from being leaked. But most people feel that there is no need to hide the location of Australia from the Dutch. In fact, such a large piece of land cannot be hidden. And as the most powerful beings who will conquer the earth in the future, time travelers should have more confidence in their own strength. From the Roman Empire to the British Empire to the United States, the country of hope for mankind, which company is closed to the outside world and refuses visitors?

So, after the second Dutch expedition ship inspected Zhongnan City, the "Australian-Song Empire border stronghold", it finally returned to Pakistan smoothly with two kangaroos as souvenirs and a bunch of "Australian goods" purchased privately. Davia caused a huge stir.

At the same time, the last Dutch expedition ship that was ordered to investigate Australia finally completed a circle around the earth and returned to Batavia from the west. But the problem is, after comparing the two reports submitted by the two expeditions, the East India Company in Batavia was suddenly confused: although the investigation revealed the specific location of Australia, it became increasingly unclear. The reality of Australians.

The strength shown by this Australian before was obviously so powerful. Why is the entire east coast of Australia a wilderness?

If you encounter someone who is stronger than you, ask for business; if you encounter someone who is weaker than yourself, just grab it directly. This is the maritime ethics of the Age of Discovery. In order to find out whether the opponent is strong or weak, and avoid being kicked into pieces and shattered, careful reconnaissance must be carried out.

According to common sense, the Australians who can gather 300 armed ocean-going ships on the East Asian sea at one time cannot be considered weak in any way. However, according to the conflicting reports of the two expedition fleets, the parties involved in the Dutch East India Company felt that there was some subtle untruth.

Therefore, in the spring of 1634, the third Dutch expedition to Australia began preparations in Batavia, planning to go to the legendary "Capital of the Australian Song Empire". The adventurous Admiral Anthony Van Diemen also personally served as the expedition leader and diplomatic envoy.

(The value of admirals in European countries these days is very limited. At that time, the Dutch East India Company only had about 20 ships stationed in Batavia. They were still mainly armed merchant ships. It would be good to have two or three professional warships. . Some small countries only have one or two ships and dare to be named navy marshal)

It has to be said that Admiral Anthony van Diemen's expedition ship "Magdeburg" caught up with a good time. Just approaching Australian waters, it encountered a ship carrying Japanese envoys to the Australian Chinese League Headquarters to participate in The steam armored battleship at the inauguration ceremony of the new capital - although the time traveler is not like the ancient Chinese emperors who like to lose money and make a fuss, they do not hesitate to pay a huge price and generous rewards, but also want to create a grand scene where all nations come to court. But if there are some foreign guests to fill the occasion at an important celebration, it will be a more respectable thing after all.

Therefore, on this steam armored warship, in addition to the envoys of the Maori family, the overlord of Kansai, Japan, there was also Fang Yizhi, the envoy of the Yonghe Emperor of the Ming Dynasty in Shanghai, and Shangqiu, the prince of the Ryukyu Kingdom who had "naturalized" the entire country to Australia and Song Dynasty. Wait, plus a bunch of "chief representatives" dug out from who knows which village. Now I met the Dutch expedition ship "Magdeburg" halfway, so I simply asked them to follow them to the capital to participate in the celebration.

Then, as soon as Admiral Anthony van Diemen landed in this city, he was pinched by the reception staff and rushed into the quarantine camp...

——Europeans these days don’t pay much attention to body cleanliness. Even nobles rely on perfume to cover up their odor. Now that they haven’t taken a shower in the scorching tropical waters for more than a month, it is conceivable that this navy admiral What kind of aura will the general and his men exude.

Captain Li Huamei already felt stinky when he docked, and these Dutch people were much more stinky, but they felt good about themselves...

Therefore, in order to prevent the outbreak of the plague as soon as the China League Headquarters in Australia is completed, guests from the Netherlands should be quarantined first!

Another full two weeks later, until the morning when Li Huamei's Hangzhou arrived, the Dutch were released in despair.

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"...The quarantine period ends on the 14th, and the sick people have been admitted for treatment. I wish you a happy journey and welcome to Australia."

Accompanied by the above-mentioned businesslike Dutch, the large iron gate of the quarantine camp opened with a click. Admiral Anthony van Diemen, who had been looking quite haggard recently, and a large group of Dutch sailors under him, immediately poured out from the open iron door, carried their luggage and ran forward without looking back. After a full hundred meters, he slowed down, stood up, put down the heavy box, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Looking back at the concentration camp where he had been staying for two full weeks, and looking at the two guards at the door who were armed with ammunition and wearing red armbands on their right upper arms, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen took a long breath and said to himself The subordinates said: "...In the name of God, we finally came out."

"...Yes, sir." The sailors obviously hated the quarantine camp more and said through gritted teeth: "...We finally came out of that hellish place."

——As soon as the "Magdeburg" docked, the relevant departments of the Chinese League threw all the Dutch visitors into quarantine camps for isolation. In the eyes of the admiral, first there was a group of people holding water pipes and spraying water on them like chasing ducks. Then they threw pungent disinfectant powder at them - God knows what it was made of. The smell was so bad that the Admiral even smelled a pungent smell of sulfur.

Next, the Australians' doctor gave them a physical examination and immediately found out a variety of illnesses, ranging from dysentery to yellow fever, and they had to be thrown into the infectious disease hospital. The remaining people were also forced to take showers from morning to night until they could rub off a few layers of skin from these sloppy creatures.

What's more, in order to fully achieve the anti-epidemic effect of killing germs, the shampoo and soap provided by the Australian quarantine camp to the Dutch for free are not general merchandise sold to the outside world, but special hygienic products with powerful sterilizing effects. supplies. Of course, limited by today's production technology level and due to cost control considerations, these cheap sterilization products will always use some toxic natural plants, and there will inevitably be certain side effects. Especially oleander, which has a remarkable effect in killing lice and fleas... After all, sailors these days are so dirty, they are like mobile garbage dumps and sources of germ infection. In order to prevent the outbreak of plague in Australia, they have to Severe illness requires strong medicine.

So, after using a special shampoo containing oleander, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen couldn't even feel the existence of his head and hands! His scalp and hands were severely numb, and then became slightly swollen. But even so, he was not the most miserable, because some unlucky guy accidentally let the shampoo flow into his mouth, and then the guy almost met God!

Fortunately, the Australians discovered it early and rescued him immediately. But that kind of simple and crude rescue method... Admiral Dimen, who was watching at the time, even felt that it would be more comfortable for this guy to go directly to see God: In order to save him, the Australians put it directly into his mouth. He plugged a tube in, then a funnel, and then kept pouring soapy water into the funnel until his belly suddenly bulged. Then the tube is removed and the guy is left to vomit. At first, there were still some food residues vomited out, but later it was completely soapy water, but it was repeated many times, driving the unlucky guy almost crazy.

But even after undergoing such cruel and rough treatment, he could only barely save the life of the unlucky guy. Until now, the guy is still lying in the ward groaning. It is said that it will take at least half a month of rest for the remaining toxins in his body to be completely metabolized.

It can be seen from this that the special shampoo provided by Australians for bathing is extremely toxic!

Admiral Anthony van Diemen expressed his incomprehension about this. Since this shampoo is so toxic and dangerous to use, and the Australians don't seem to want their lives, why are they forcing it? What do they use?

(Because good, gentle and safe shampoos are more expensive, only this highly toxic and dangerous bargain is available in quarantine camps.)

Is it really just to get rid of the little bugs hiding in their hair, as the Australians say?

oh! What the hell! These Australians really know how to make a fuss out of a molehill! You know, according to the admiral's knowledge, there are a lot of lice and fleas living in the hair of kings and ladies in Europe, let alone ordinary people. But everyone was still living well, and no one was killed by these little bugs. Why do the Australians look like they are facing a formidable enemy when they get here?

In short, the thing that impressed Admiral Anthony Van Diemen most deeply during these two weeks in the quarantine camp was bathing, bathing, and endless bathing. Over the past two weeks, the Admiral found that he had probably taken more baths than he had in the past half of his life combined! After so many endless baths, poor Anthony Van Diemen felt as if he had become a snake and had just been forcibly shed a layer of skin. If he continued to wash it, he thought that his bones would be washed out by those Australians!

In fact, in the last few days in the quarantine camp, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen prayed to God every time he took a bath, asking for mercy on his old man and never letting the terrible plague find him... Although after every wash, I do smell refreshed.

——In this era, Europeans still continued the erroneous medical concepts of the Black Death era, believing that bathing would cause the plague (actually, it was because taking a hot bath and then blowing cold air would make it easier to catch a cold. However, in that sad era, even if Ordinary colds can also kill people), so they regard bathing as a scourge. Unless ordered by a doctor or if you feel really uncomfortable, you usually dare not take a bath. Even for the relatively "hygienic" Dutch, it is good to take a bath once every six months. In France, which is the most unhygienic country, there are many people who haven’t bathed for decades...

What makes Anthony Van Diemen even more angry is that the Australians seem to have a serious lack of hierarchy and have not thought about giving special preferential treatment to the upper class in the quarantine camp. He was a noble admiral, but he actually wanted to hang out with a bunch of lowly and poor sailors, stripping off and being honest with each other in the bathhouse... This is simply terrible! God knows how many gays there are among them? ! ! During this period, he noticed more than once that someone was staring at him with lewd eyes. If he hadn't been concerned about his identity as the expedition leader, someone might have whistled provocatively!

In addition to constant bathing, there were also people in the quarantine camp who taught them the rules in Dutch, such as not urinating or throwing garbage anywhere, walking on the right side, standing in line when encountering something, etc. All the red tape was really nerve-wracking... but at least it was all over.

Like any responsible old sailor, the first thing Admiral Anthony van Diemen cared about after leaving the quarantine camp was what happened to their "Magdeburg" expedition ship. So a group of people rushed straight to the dock. Then, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen learned from the remaining crew members that their expedition ship had also been carefully disinfected from inside to outside by the Australians.

"...Oh, sir, you can never imagine it. Those Australians wear strange clothes that cover their whole bodies and have glass pieces inlaid on their eyes. They look a bit like monks, but they have big iron buckets hanging on their backs. No. Keep spraying unpleasant potion into every corner of the ship..."

The first mate who stayed on the ship danced and gestured about the situation at that time, "...the smell of the potion made people dizzy when they smelled it. We didn't dare to sleep in the cabin for three days, and we only dared to sleep in hammocks on the deck... …In addition, they used spears to drive us into the pool to bathe...”

"...There is no other way, sir, in this matter, we can only try to be patient...The Australians I have met in the past are almost like this, they are too clean. It's like...what's that word? You mean that? Yes, they are mysophobic.”

The special consultant hired by the Australian local expedition team in Batavia has been to Lingao Port on Hainan Island several times and has dealt with the Australians there. Fan, a senior businessman known as the "Australia expert". Lord Delantron sighed, reached out and patted the first mate on the shoulder, comforting him.

"... Mysophobia? Ha, mysophobia, yes, that's a wonderful word. Okay, old John, you can take the boys to find a place to settle down, and drink a few bottles of rum. It’s been a very frustrating time for them!”

Admiral Anthony Van Diemen clapped his hands and ordered an officer beside him, while turning to look at Van. Delantron, "...the Australians in the quarantine camp seem to have said that there is a hotel specifically for seafarers next to the dock, right?"

"...Yes, it's the tallest red brick building across the street. I've seen its sign!"

Fan. Delantron pointed to a six-story building not far ahead and replied to Admiral Anthony Van Diemen, "...in the Australian capital, it seems that this is the only hotel currently allowed to entertain foreigners. ...But General, you are a diplomatic envoy, and according to the rules, you can stay at the State Guesthouse for free. Your luggage has been sent to you when you arrived at the pier. Do you plan to stay at the State Guesthouse now?"
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"...No, it's too early now. Let's take a walk around the city first!" The Dutch admiral looked up at the rising sun in the sky, and then at the shadowy giant in the distance. The building complex made the decision like this, “… ...Mr. Advisor, please come with me. You are the only one who is most familiar with Australian customs here, lest we accidentally cause any trouble here..." "...Yes, General, your wishes are mine. Mission..."

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