Chapter 1 Braving the Blind Date
The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same, such as now...
"Young man, your conditions are not suitable for you to come here. Your monthly salary is 3,500, and you actually emphasized that it will increase in the future. You didn't lose at the starting line, you fell asleep at the starting line."
"Having a good personality and being able to cook are okay, but they can only be regarded as bonus points. I think the most important thing at the moment is that you have to feed yourself first."
"Ha, what did I see? You required the woman to have a monthly income of more than 10,000 yuan, and she must also have a car and a house. How did you have the nerve to write that down?"
Songhai People's Park.
As the most famous dating corner in the country, it has never let a dater leave with a smile.
As long as you get here, you don't need to speak, just look at the old aunt's eyes to know your level.
They can see through your heart just by looking at you, which is even more powerful than X-rays.
At this moment, they were besieging a fat man holding a cardboard.
After reading the contents on the cardboard, several of the old aunts wanted to pounce on the fat man and tear up the cardboard together.
But the fat man didn't panic at all. Instead, he looked like it was natural and knocked on the cardboard.
"Auntie, see clearly. If the woman is outstanding, I can be her son-in-law. And I don't ask her to have children. Where can I find someone who is so easy to talk to?"
"Who are you bluffing!" An old aunt jumped and yelled:
"There's no point in barging the door if you don't have a child. I think you want to be forced to eat soft food, and your abacus is about to fall off my face."
The fat man grinned, revealing two rows of white teeth on his round face:
"I don't want to use my partner as a reproductive tool, so why do I have to live with my spouse? Moreover, my bride price is only 180,000 yuan, which is the lowest price in Songhai..."
"Wait a minute!!" Another old aunt stared angrily:
"The betrothal gift written above is 180,000 yuan, didn't you pay for it?!"
"Of course it wasn't me!" The fat man said confidently:
"I've already come to the door, why should I give you a betrothal gift? This 180,000 yuan was given to me by the woman. I can take the dowry with me."
? ? ? ?
dowry?
What dowry?
He also has a dowry!
The old aunts looked at each other and didn't react for a while.
Mainly because it was the first time I met someone who blatantly asked to barge in, and the bride price and dowry were also reversed by him.
So, should you marry or not?
"Well, what's in your dowry?"
The old aunts try to find the last bit of humanity in the fat man:
“Deposit or car?”
The fat man raised his hand and slapped the cardboard loudly, each time hitting the number 3500:
"Look at my salary and my body shape. Can I have a savings and a car?"
"So, what do you mean by dowry?"
The old aunts no longer care, and the reason why they continue to ask is purely out of curiosity.
The fat man smiled proudly and held out two fingers:
"A quilt and an electric car, Xinlei's."
"Yeah."
The old aunts nodded and waited for him to continue.
But after waiting for a while, seeing that the fat man had nothing to say, the aunt who was nearest couldn't help but asked:
"Gone?"
"What else do you want?" The fat man spread his hands:
"It's good that I didn't spend money in advance when I was in my early twenties."
"..."
After a short silence, one of the aunts stared at the fat man and asked:
"What you wrote above, that the salary will be handed over after marriage, is it also handed over to you?"
"Yes." The fat man nodded seriously:
"I've already come to your door. It's not too much to ask for a little sense of security."
Finally, after hearing these words, the old aunts who couldn't bear it broke out.
They surrounded the fat man and began to speak in all directions.
"One bed of bedding? There isn't even a change of clothes. Where do you have the nerve to say that! Aren't you afraid of sleeping in bed?"
"It's an electric car. It's Xinlei. It's a brand. You're proud of it. It's shameless. Is there another household appliance, a flashlight?"
"You don't have a mirror and you haven't peed yet. Look at your pig-like appearance. Do you still want to find someone with good conditions and imitate Marshal Tianpeng in picking up Fairy Chang'e? Dream on!"
Seeing that the old aunts were going too far, the fat man replied not to be outdone:
"Maybe someone will be kind to me!"
"What are you talking about!" The old aunts let themselves go completely:
"Who can't afford pork these days? I feel sick when I see you."
The old aunts thought about it, they must give this fat man something powerful today. quality?
What is quality? I don’t want it today.
Let’s have fun first, it’s so irritating!
"What kind of pork? What kind of pork? You are talking in such a derogatory way."
Just when Fatty was about to continue to fight back, a voice suddenly came from the miniature headphones in his ears:
"Yu Dazhang, don't be so stupid. The suspect appears on your left, about 20 meters away from you. He is moving towards you. There is a slight deviation from the information reported. There are three people coming."
< br>
Is this called a slight deviation?
Yu Dazhang couldn't help but want to roll his eyes.
The tip said there was only one suspect, but the number tripled.
One against three?
It's not impossible. When they get close, they can just pick up an old lady and throw it over, and they will definitely suppress these three suspects.
Then take the opportunity to win them all!
Check out the 16-9 book bar and see the correct version!
The plan was perfect, but reality didn’t allow it~
No old aunt can withstand this tactical move.
And this is not allowed from a moral perspective.
Throwing the old aunt as a hidden weapon at the blind date corner~
Now that the case is over, how do I write a report?
An idea struck him and he threw it away... The leader had to flip the table when he saw it.
It's not to blame for Da Zhang's random thoughts. Apart from these old aunties, there are really no other weapons available.
If it was one-on-one, Yu Dazhang was confident that he could easily win.
One-on-two, a sneak attack can barely handle it.
Not three people.
As long as you use your hands, if the first two people are attacked, the third person will definitely react.
Seeing the three people getting closer and closer to him, Yu Dazhang gritted his teeth and made a quick decision in his heart.
Don't miss this opportunity, knock down two of them first.
I hope the leader has other plans.
Amidst the scolding from the old aunt, Yu Dazhang lowered his head, seemingly aggrieved by the scolding, but in fact he was looking at the ground in front and to the left.
Until a pair of men's sneakers appeared in sight, Yu Dazhang raised his head and rushed forward suddenly.
The click was very accurate, and he just happened to rush in front of the young man at the front.
Yu Dazhang originally wanted to deliver a sharp whip kick, but due to his limited body size, he could only lift his leg to the opponent's knee.
In desperation, he had no choice but to kick the young man's calf to the bone
"Bang!"
The young man was kicked by this unexpected kick and fell to the ground.
Yu Dazhang didn't care about him anymore. He knew very well that if he was hit by this kick, the opponent's entire leg would no longer be able to move, and he would not be able to get up even if he climbed up.
The pain alone was enough for him.
This was because Yu Dazhang deliberately held back his strength. If he really tried his best, the young man would definitely have a broken calf.
Before the young man could scream, Yu Dazhang had already pounced on another person.
The man reacted quickly. Facing the fist coming from Da Zhang, he subconsciously stretched out his arm to block it, but was knocked sideways by the huge force.
Before he could get up, he felt a shadow floating above him.
Is it cloudy?
When he looked up, he saw a big fat man blocking the sky and smashing down on him.
There was a muffled sound, and the man couldn't even see the corner of his clothes.
Just as Yu Dazhang expected, the third man reacted, turned around and ran away.
Looking at his colleagues running towards him, Yu Dazhang's eyes darkened in anger.
These rookies!
These two people have been subdued, what are you doing here?
Last hit?
"Chase!"
Yu Dazhang shouted to a few rookies who were running over, then gritted his teeth and stood up, chasing in the direction of the escaping man.
Next comes the event that Yu Dazhang is least good at... running.
The old aunts looked at the big fat man who ran out quickly, and then looked at the two people lying on the ground.
One of them is holding his calf and wailing, the other is rolling his eyes and spitting foam...
What's going on?
This fat man is crazy!
Are we calling you crazy? !
(End of chapter)