Xiaobai was stunned for a moment, then a hint of blush appeared on her face. She grabbed the pillow and threw it at Luodan, with a hint of shame in her voice: "Shut up!"
Lordae smiled and avoided the pillow, turning around and leaving the room. Xiaobai looked at his back and couldn't help but smile. She sighed softly, but felt unprecedented peace of mind.
Xiaobai sat beside the bed, holding the steaming bowl of food in his hand, his fingertips trembling slightly. Her eyes drooped, staring at the lingering heat rising from the bowl, but her thoughts had already drifted away. She didn't expect that after knowing everything, Lordae could still treat her so peacefully. She thought that Lordae had nothing more than two attitudes: either trying to explain to her, trying to convince her with words; or using the power of the contract to force her to stay by his side. But Lordae chose the third way - to accompany him silently and gently, as if nothing had happened.
Her mother's past memories kept echoing in her mind, and those painful and humiliating scenes were like sharp thorns, deeply piercing into her heart. My mother's unforgettable disgust for humans seemed to have quietly merged into her blood as the memory awakened. She once thought that she would be full of hatred and alert towards humans like her mother. But... since she has memories, Lordae seems to have never done anything to sorry for her. He was always so gentle and considerate, as if he could keenly detect every emotional fluctuation of her.
"Maybe... I really should look at all this again." Xiaobai thought silently in his heart, and the chopsticks in his hand gently fiddled with the food in the bowl. She picked up a bite of rice and put it into her mouth, chewing it slowly, as if every grain of rice had some heavy meaning. Her eyes gradually became wet, and tears were rolling in her eyes, but she was stubbornly unwilling to fall.
Lordae stood aside and looked at her quietly. His eyes were gentle and deep, as if he could see through her inner struggles and contradictions. He didn't rush to speak, but just sighed softly, then walked to her side, put his palm gently on top of her head, and rubbed her hair. His movements were gentle and natural, as if this movement had been repeated thousands of times.
"Don't think too much, just have a meal first." Lordae's voice was low and gentle, with a hint of soothing, "No matter what happens, I will be with you."
Xiaobai couldn't help but tremble when he heard his words. She raised her head and looked at Lordae with tears in her eyes, her voice choked: "Lodan... Why can you still treat me so well? You clearly know... I almost..."
She didn't finish her words, but Lordae understood what she meant. He chuckled softly, with a hint of helplessness and doting in his eyes: "Because I know that those emotions are not the real you. You are just affected by past memories, aren't you?"
Xiaobai was stunned, and the chopsticks in his hand trembled slightly. She lowered her head, her voice so low that she could hardly hear: "But... those memories are too real. I empathize with my mother's pain and her despair. I have no choice... I can't forgive you in one go."
Lordae nodded, his tone calm and firm: "I understand. I never hope you can forgive me immediately. After all, those things are too heavy for you. But I hope you can understand that I have never thought of hurting you, nor have I thought of using you. My kindness to you has never been because of the contract, but because... you are very important to me."
Xiaobai's heart trembled suddenly, and tears finally couldn't help but slide from the corners of his eyes. She raised her hand and wiped away the tears from her face in panic, with a trembling voice: "But...but...but mother...she...she has experienced so much pain, how can I...how can I let it go easily?"
Lordae was silent for a while, then sighed softly: "Xiaobai's mother... She has indeed experienced many misfortunes. But those things were not caused by me. I admit that many people in humans have done things that hurt her, but not all humans are like this. I hope... you can try to look at all this from my perspective."
Xiaobai raised his head and looked at Luodan with complicated eyes. There were still tears in her eyes, but her eyes were no longer as alert and hostile as before. She bit her lip gently, her voice so low that she could hardly hear: "Maybe...you're right. I should try to understand you, rather than just being bound by past memories."
When Lordae heard her words, a hint of relief flashed in his eyes. He rubbed her hair gently, his tone soft and firm: "I'm glad you can think so. But don't rush to make a decision. I'll wait for you until the day you really want to accept me."
Xiaobai nodded, and tears poured out of his eyes again. She lowered her head and continued to eat the food in the bowl bite by bit. She was slow, as if every bite was chewing on some complex emotions. Tears slid down her cheeks, dripping into the bowl, mixing with the meal. But she didn't stop and still stubbornly ate, as if she could swallow the pain in her heart.
Lordae looked at her, and a sourness surged in his heart. He knew that Xiaobai's heart must be full of struggle and contradictions at this moment. He sighed softly, reached out and took out a clean handkerchief from his arms, and handed it to Xiaobai: "Wipe your tears, don't let the tears affect the taste of the food."
Xiaobai was stunned for a moment, then took the handkerchief and gently wiped the tears on his face. Her movements were very light, as if she was afraid of hurting herself. After wiping away the tears, she raised her head and looked at Luodan, with a hint of sob in her voice: "Lodan... Thank you."
Lordae smiled, his tone relaxed and gentle: "What do you thank? Do we need to be so polite between us?"
Xiaobai didn't say anything anymore, but just lowered his head and continued to eat the food in the bowl. Her movements were still very slow, but her eyes were no longer full of pain and struggle as before. Lordae stood aside and looked at her quietly, but his heart could not be completely calm. He knew that Xiaobai still had many unsolved knots in his heart, but he believed that as long as he continued to be by her side, one day, she would truly let go of the shadow of the past.
The sunlight outside the window sprinkled in through the half-open window and shone on the two of them, as if they were coated with a warm halo for them. The room became quiet for a moment, with only the slight sound of the collision of bowls and chopsticks and the slight breathing of the two of them. Lordae's eyes were always on Xiaobai, with a hint of tenderness and firmness in his eyes. He knew that the road ahead might still be full of ups and downs, but as long as Xiaobai was willing, he would accompany her to the end.
When Lordae said this, his eyes seemed to see someone through Xiaobai. His eyes became a little dazed, as if he had been trapped in some distant memory. His fingers unconsciously stroked the corner of the table, and his voice was low and a little emotional: "The wine lady... she is actually a pitiful person. If she could be treated well at the beginning, she might not have gone astray later, let alone going on that road."
There was a hint of regret in his tone, as if he was mourning an old friend he had never met. Xiaobai couldn't help but tremble when he heard his words. She raised her head and looked at Lordae with complicated eyes, her voice so low that she could hardly hear: "You... do you know the wine lady?"
Lordae shook his head, his eyes still a little erratic: "No, I don't know her. But I have heard of her story. She used to be an innocent girl, but fate was too cruel to her, which made her embark on that path of no return."
Xiaobai was silent for a while, and a complicated feeling surged in his heart. She bit her lip gently, with a hint of hesitation in her voice: "If... if someone could have pulled her, maybe her ending would be different, right?" When Lordae heard her words, his eyes finally retracted from a distance and fell on Xiaobai's face. His eyes became serious and deep, as if waiting for her next sentence. Xiaobai suddenly saw that Luo Dan's gaze came over, and his heart couldn't help but feel tight. She pursed her lips slightly, and after a moment she spoke again, with a hint of firmness in her voice: "Lordan, I don't want to be the second wine lady. I don't want to... be bound by the memories of the past, nor do I want to let hatred blind my heart."
When Lordae heard her words, his eyes suddenly lit up. The corners of his mouth raised slightly, showing a hint of relief. He had thought about many possibilities, and of course he had also thought about the possibility that Xiaobai would stay with him. But when things really happened as he expected, it was undeniable that Lordae was happy. He nodded gently, his tone gentle and firm: "Xiaobai, I'm very happy that you can think so. I will be by your side and help you get out of the shadow of the past."
When Xiaobai heard his words, a warm feeling surged in his heart. She lowered her head and said softly, with a hint of shyness and peace of mind in her voice.
When Xiaobai finished his meal, Luo Dan took her to say goodbye to Taohua Yao. They walked out of the room and walked through the blooming peach blossom forest. The true body of the peach blossom demon did not appear, only a gentle breeze blew by, rolling up a few pink petals, as if saying goodbye to them. Luodan stood under the peach blossom tree, looked up at the huge peach tree, and his voice was gentle and respectful: "Peach blossom demon, thank you for your care over the past few days. We are leaving, and I hope we will have a chance to see you again in the future."
The peach tree swayed gently, as if responding to his words. A few petals fell in the wind and fell on Xiaobai's shoulders. She reached out and gently brushed the petals, with a hint of reluctance in her eyes: "Peach Blossom Demon, thank you... I will remember this here."
When I took Xiaobai back to the inn, Xiaobai's mood was obviously much better than yesterday. Her steps became much lighter and she had a little smile on her face. Lordae walked beside her, looking at her gently, and couldn't help feeling relieved. He knew that Xiaobai was walking out of the shadow of the past little by little, and this was exactly what he wanted to see.
After returning to the inn, Lordae prepared to go back to his room to rest. He walked to the door and was about to push the door in, Xiaobai suddenly spoke with a hint of hesitation in his voice: "Lodan... wait a moment."
Lordae stopped and looked back at Xiaobai with a hint of confusion in his eyes: "What's wrong?"
Xiaobai bit his lip, his eyes dodged, and his voice was so low that he could hardly hear: "You... can you stay with me for a while? I...I still have something to say to you."
Lordae was stunned for a moment, then smiled, his tone relaxed and gentle: "Of course. What do you want to say?"
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Xiaobai couldn't help but feel relieved when he heard his agreement. She pushed open her door and signaled Lordae to come in. Lordae followed her into the room and closed the door casually. The layout in the room is simple and warm, and the moonlight outside the window sprinkles in, placing a soft halo on the room.
Xiaobai walked to the window, with his back facing Luodan, with a hint of hesitation in his voice: "Lodan, I... I have always had a question to ask you."
Lordae walked to her and looked at her gently: "What's the problem?"
Xiaobai took a deep breath, as if he was plucking up his courage. She turned around and looked directly at Lordae, with a hint of firmness in her voice: "You... why are you so kind to me? We haven't known each other for a long time, but you are willing to do so much for me. What are you... what are you doing for?"
When Lordae heard her words, he couldn't help but be stunned. He was silent for a while, then sighed softly, with a complex look in his eyes: "Xiaobai, this question... Actually, I have asked myself many times. Maybe it's because... I saw something familiar in you. You reminded me of my past self, that lonely and helpless self. I don't want you to experience the pain I have experienced, so... I want to protect you."
Xiaobai couldn't help but tremble when he heard his words. A hint of emotion flashed in her eyes, and a hint of sob in her voice: "Lodan... Thank you. Really... Thank you."
Lordae smiled, reached out and rubbed her hair gently, and his tone was gentle and firm: "No need to thank you. As long as you want, I will stay by your side until you truly get out of the shadow of the past."
Xiaobai nodded, tears flashing in his eyes. She leaned gently on Lordae's shoulder, her voice so low that she could hardly hear: "Lordan... It's great to have you."
Lordae gently patted her back, his eyes soft and firm. He knew that the road ahead might still be full of ups and downs, but as long as Xiaobai was willing, he would accompany her to the end.
Lordae was also very happy. Xiaobai realized that communication was very important, so he nodded and agreed immediately.
Xiaobai returned to the room and closed the door gently, and the room suddenly fell into tranquility. She walked to the window and opened it. The night wind blew across her cheeks with a hint of coolness, blowing away her hair. She looked up at the night sky, with stars dotted, as if countless pairs of eyes were staring at her. The stars flashed with a faint but firm light, as if silently telling some distant secret.
Her eyes remained in the night sky, but her thoughts couldn't help but floated back to last night. Since she ate the spirit fruit in the secret realm, some fragments of memory began to appear in her mind. (This chapter ends)