Chapter 107 Zhang Yuan is Sima Guang
"Sister Chen, Jiang Xin, you..." Zhang Yuan stepped forward holding his nose.
The two girls, Chen Hao and Jiang Xin, had the same painful expressions on their faces as the others.
"Zhang Yuan, save me..." Jiang Xin, a woman with a "big heart" and usually strong body, shouted for help in pain.
Zhang Yuan knew that it was no accident that so many people had stomach upsets at the same time!
"I'll take you two to the toilet."
"No..." Chen Hao couldn't straighten up, and he was out of breath when he spoke: "I can't move."
Lu Xun once said: Hold it in Urine can travel a thousand miles, but diarrhea can make it difficult to walk even an inch.
The situation of Chen Hao and Jiang Xin corresponds to this sentence.
They were really afraid that if they took one more step, the essence in their bodies would be leaked.
"Let us be the companions of the mortal world, and live a carefree life..." Jiang Xin even sang a song to distract herself.
But don’t talk and sing now. Reciting the Great Compassion Mantra won’t work. No Bodhisattva can take care of diarrhea.
Besides, it is said that gods and Buddhas are afraid of dirt, and dirty things will damage their cultivation.
With the current situation of Peach Blossom Island, Tathagata has to take a detour.
We can't let these two beauties take off their pants right there and run around in front of so many people.
Zhang Yuan thought about it, his mind running rapidly.
"You two hold on a little longer and wait for me for a minute!"
Before the two of them could pull each other, he disappeared into the night like flying.
A minute or two later, just when the two were about to reach their limit, Zhang Yuan returned quickly with a bunch of things in his hands.
“Take it!”
Zhang Yuan handed a bunch of folding umbrellas to the two of them.
“Open the back block and cover yourself, and then... you understand!”
“Everyone is panicking anyway, and no one is watching you.”
No The crew will do this when filming in the desert or Gobi and there are no toilets.
Chen Hao and Jiang Xin looked at each other and had no choice but to do as they were told.
[Received thanks from Chen Hao, appearance +1, temperament +1, lines +1! 】
【Received a thank you from Jiang Xin, +1 for bust, +1 for eye performance (rolling eyes), +1 for acting! 】
"Zhang Yuan, please... stay away." Chen Hao said this while holding his last breath.
Zhang Yuan ran away quickly.
Afraid of being crushed.
Looking around, Zhang Yuan really wanted to compose a poem.
Jingye Thoughts.
There is bright moonlight on the set, and it seems like there is frost on the ground.
If you walk in and take a closer look, you will see flying flowers all over the ground.
"Zhang Yuan..."
While he was in the mood for poetry, a hoarse voice called him from behind.
I turned around and saw that it was Zhang Jizhong.
The bearded man is already in his early 50s, so his health is naturally not as good as that of the older guys on the crew.
At this time, he was taking small steps, like an old lady with bound feet, cautiously.
Taking one step forward and two steps back is a hardship.
"Director Zhang!"
"Help me go, go, go..."
"Save your strength, I understand."
Zhang Yuan waved his arms, He simply put Lao Zhang on his back, picked him up and ran away.
That is to say, he has practiced martial arts and is still young.
Otherwise, someone like Da Beard, who weighs only 200 kilograms, would have to give up.
He will run to the public toilet right now!
This journey is so fast.
It usually takes five minutes to get there, but he arrived in three minutes.
I don’t know if it was the effect of adrenaline or the bearded man who had been helping him “nitrogen speed up”.
Zhang Yuan went to the place and took a look, and felt bad.
The number of people crowded near the toilet was far more than just those listening to books, there were hundreds of people!
Peach Blossom Island Scenic Area is actually not completely completed yet. The part they are using is still under construction, which is convenient for filming.
But there is a problem, there are not many public toilets.
It’s usually fine, everyone takes turns using it, so there’s no problem.
But now hundreds of people crowded into the nearest toilet, and the scene was more lively than rushing for train tickets before the Spring Festival travel rush.
Zhang Yuan covered his nose and squeezed forward. The scene he saw almost left a psychological shadow on him.
Let’s not talk about the bathroom private room. There are people inside, and there are people outside picking at the door. Their fingernails leave white marks on the wooden door, making a tooth-piercing sound.
Not only that, even the urinals are being used, but the usage is different from usual.
There were many people squatting on the ground, and they were no longer able to stay down.
What's more, he squatted directly on the sink, condescending.
Zhang Yuan looked twice and saw an acquaintance.
Ma Peng!
After all, this man is much younger than the bearded man. With perseverance, he came to the toilet by himself.
I am knocking on the door of a private room at the moment.
"Come out, I'm the assistant director, give up your seat!"
Fuck!
Zhang Yuan was dumbfounded. This effort was so showy.
Forget it, the door opened, and a young staff member with a livid face came out. He held up his pants, forced a flattering smile, and gave way to him.
Rub!
At this time, there are still dog legs.
What an eye-opener, what an eye-opener!
But who is Zhang Yuan?
You have been wearing little shoes for me these days.
You have offended the abbot and still want to run away?
He rolled his eyes and immediately changed into a serious tone.
"Assistant Director Ma, Director Zhang needs to go to the toilet, please get out of the way!"
Ma Peng was about to close the door when he was stunned.
“Do you know how senior and young are respected, and do you know what is the etiquette of superiority and inferiority?”
>
"When working on the crew, you have to look at your job title!"
"Director Zhang is the biggest on the crew, so let the leader run first!"
With these few words, Ma Peng was immediately linked to morality. On the grill, there's a dilemma.
Come on, just wait until you pull out your trouser pockets.
If you don’t let me, then just wait until the bearded man pulls his trouser pockets.
At this time, the bearded man who could hardly hold back his words also spoke.
“Zhang Yuan is right!”
Ma Peng was extremely confused.
But people have three urgent needs.
Urgent diarrhea, urgent loose stools, urgent dysentery...
Bang!
Ma Peng gritted his teeth, held his breath, closed the door hard, and locked it instantly.
The bearded man's eyes were as big as light bulbs, and he was extremely surprised.
“That’s outrageous!”
“Do you still have a leader in your eyes?” Zhang Yuan shouted a few more times and looked back at the bearded man.
"Director Zhang, you are going too far!"
"I can't stand it anymore."
"This man is immoral."
"He actually bullied you, a 50-year-old man." Old comrade,”
“Is this good?”
The bearded man's face turned green, and he didn't know whether it was from suffocation or anger.
"Director Zhang, we can only go outside!"
Zhang Yuan carried him to the grassland behind the toilet.
Gentlemen, the situation is critical, let’s deal with it on the spot.
Put him on the ground, even if you look at the outsiders, he is as anxious as a grandson at this time.
I took off my belt and took off my trousers in one go. My hands were never so fast when I was chatting with the actress late at night.
Zhang Yuan completed his mission and planned to leave.
But at this moment, I heard a strange scream behind me.
“Oh shit!!!”
The bearded man who had just squatted down started to sprout again. He was tall. Those who didn't know thought he had practiced Qing Gong.
“Yes, yes, there are centipedes!”
Zhang Yuan lowered his head and saw that there were not just centipedes, but all kinds of insects.
This is a very common area to be developed on Taohua Island. It is an unpopular place where snakes, insects, rats and ants make their homes everywhere.
If he bites where he shouldn't... Zhang Yuan feels pain just thinking about it.
He looked twice and came up with an idea.
With five thousand years of Chinese history, the yearning for food and the obsession with land have been deeply imprinted in every drop of our blood.
Many old ladies and gentlemen, even if they immigrated overseas with their children, have their own yards and lawns.
The foreigners planted all the flowers and fruit trees, but they still cultivated the land and planted cabbage and peppers. They put up wooden frames to let the grapes and luffa grow freely.
It is not as enjoyable and appreciative as foreigners.
But its simplicity and frugality can give people a sense of peace of mind.
The same is true of Peach Blossom Island. No flowers or grass have been planted, forming a wasteland in the scenic area. Most of them have been opened as vegetable plots by management personnel or nearby villagers.
Growing vegetables requires fertilizer.
The villagers' income is not high, so of course they are frugal on fertilizers.
Now, the public toilet is right next to it, and there is a lot of good fertilizer every day.
Don’t think it’s dirty, human fertilizer can be used as well as sheep, cow, and horse fertilizer.
It’s just that the manure needs to be fermented and decomposed before it can be officially irrigated.
Generally, farmers will prepare an oversized water tank, put fertilizer into it, add rice water, soybean water and other materials, and cover the mouth of the tank with a wooden board.
This is a home-made liquid fermentation method, rough, but effective.
Zhang Yuan saw a large brown water tank more than ten meters away at a glance.
"Director Zhang, come on!"
Drawing to the water tank, Zhang Yuan picked up a four-tooth rake from the ground, which should be used by farmers to loosen soil.
Lift it up and use force to lift away the wooden boards and the pressing stones on the water tank.
In an instant, a strong rancid smell rushed straight into his nose, almost making Zhang Yuan stagger.
Beards also find it unpleasant, but they can’t care about that now.
Zhang Yuan used both arms to lift Zhang Dabeard onto the top of the water tank, letting him hold the edge of the tank and use it as a toilet.
“I, I’m going to fall down.”
The edge of the cylinder is smooth and indeed unstable.
Zhang Yuan quickly raised the rake, pulling one end while he let the bearded man pull the other end to keep it stable.
Puff, puff, puff...
He stayed as far away as possible. The smell was not bad, but no matter how big it was, it was not as big as fermented fertilizer.
The sound is a bit deafening.
He is particularly tortured because his hearing has been enhanced.
But now Peach Blossom Island is full of this kind of noise. The residents on the other side of the river may have thought that they were celebrating an important event and were setting off cannons collectively.
Zhang Yuan pinched his nose and didn’t know how long he held on.
Anyway, it takes fifteen minutes.
He thought to himself, in this little time, all the balloons must have leaked.
The seriousness of the problem can be seen.
“Oh, oh, oh.”
The bearded man kept moaning, his voice gradually weakened, and finally he didn’t even have the strength to shout.
"Director Zhang, Director Zhang, are you okay?" Zhang Yuan couldn't hear the other party's voice and hurriedly confirmed.
At this moment, he only felt a light touch on his hand!
“It’s broken!”
Zhang Yuan quickly turned around, but there was no trace of the other party.
Under the moonlight, there was a muffled movement in the water tank.
"Zhang Yuan, save...Gululu..."
He slapped his thigh.
Why does everyone want me to save them?
I am almost calling Baoyi on the set!
But this matter is different from others, so I can’t help him.
If it's a little later, the bearded man will be full easily.
"It's over, Director Zhang has removed the manure tank!"
"Don't shout..." A faint sound came from the water tank again.
At this time, it’s him who has a quick mind and quick hands!
Remembering the big stone that was pressing on the water tank just now, Zhang Yuan hurriedly bent down and picked it up.
The stone is about the size of a basketball and is estimated to weigh about twenty kilograms.
Zhang Yuan took a few steps back, raised his arms, and pushed back and forth.
"1, 2, 3... let's go!"
There was a crisp sound, and a big hole was opened in the water tank. A "little clay figure" was washed away along with other filth. out.
"The Story of Shit·The Biography of Zhang Yuan"
Holding a stone from a distance and hitting the urn to break it, shit will burst out and Zhang will survive.
……
There must be a water source near the vegetable patch.
Luckily, Zhang Yuan found the faucet and rubber pipe used for watering the vegetable field after walking a few steps.
"Director Zhang, please hold back!"
It's February or March, the cold time.
Zhang Yuan turned on the faucet and sprayed it on the bearded man, giving him a chill!
But I can only hold back.
It’s better to be cold than to have a dull face.
I rushed back and forth for more than ten minutes.
It's impossible to do it completely, but at least it doesn't look like a big problem.
"Zhang Yuan..." Zhang Bearded's steps were sloppy and his whole person was weak.
Quickly handed him a rake to use as a crutch.
Now he will not carry the other person on his back even if he is beaten to death.
"Director Zhang, you..." Zhang Yuan said with an embarrassed look.
"I know, don't spread this matter today."
"No, Director Zhang..."
"You performed very well and helped me a lot."
" You listen to me..."
"I will reward you later, no need to say more."
Zhang Yuan scratched his head: "Actually, I just want to say."
"There is a maggot hanging on your beard."
Zhang Bearded was stunned for a moment, and then...
vomited ! ! !
(End of this chapter)