Chapter 530 Exploring Self
What was he like at the age of seventeen?
He remembered that his father bought him a skateboard for his birthday that year. He tinkered and studied it at home for a long time. After he thought he had figured out some tricks, he took the skateboard to school and prepared to show off. Some.
During the recess, he took out his skateboard and skated along the corridor. He came and went like the wind, his school uniform jacket fluttering in the wind, and he really stole the show.
Then, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the girl I had a crush on at the time. I was ready to show off my skills, and I got carried away and played a trick——
Off the street.
Moreover, the posture is not elegant at all. He is lying on his back and his horse is on his back.
Having spent half a can of hairspray on his carefully styled hairstyle was completely ruined and it was embarrassing enough to find out at the end. At that time, he stood up like a carp and pretended to be fine and left quietly, only to find that there was a rustling around him. I was suppressing laughter, but later I discovered that my crotch was torn, and it was exposed as soon as I turned around. It was simply a shame and humiliation in life.
To make matters worse, the skateboard broke the glass window of the next classroom.
However, at that time, he was not afraid of anything. After a short period of humiliation, he calmly accepted all the strange looks and admitted that he failed to be handsome.
Later, the head teacher of the next class came to question him, and he boldly admitted his mistake. As a result, the head teacher grabbed his ear and went to the office to call his parents.
My father came and was severely scolded by the head teacher of the next class.
How did your father respond at that time?
The father apologized in a neither humble nor overbearing manner, and paid the repair fee with a wave of his hand, but refused to admit that the skateboard was wrong. He believed that children should exercise more, not only to study, but also to be physically fit. If they are young It is a bad thing if one or two people grow flowers in a greenhouse.
At the end of the argument, just before the head teacher of the next class was about to roll his eyes, his father took him away and skipped the rest of the class, as he famously said:
The child fell seriously and went to the hospital.
He still remembered the scene of him holding his skateboard and leaving behind his father while bathing in the envious eyes of his classmates. Everything was vivid.
After leaving school, his father reprimanded him severely, but it was not because he got into trouble, but because he was not good at academics. He ran out to show off with half a bottle of water clinking, but he failed to look cool but became a joke and broke. It is your own image.
"Does it hurt?"
After the reprimand, his father asked him, and he grinned and nodded and said it hurt.
"You deserve it. If it hurts a little more, you will learn a lesson."
Having said that, she really took him to the hospital for a careful examination. When she got home, she explained the situation to her mother, and even helped him to get a doctor. Two days off.
Later, when he returned to school, he had already become a famous figure. There were all kinds of outrageous rumors flying in the school, so outrageous that even the explanations didn’t know where to start.
I never expected that it was a blessing in disguise that the girl I had a crush on actually came forward to confess my love in a love letter, which made the group of bad friends in the same class make a fuss. In less than half a day, the entire school knew about it.
Thinking about it now, those scenery, those wantonness, and those happiness have gradually faded away, and what remains in the memory are the worries and troubles.
Worried about being scolded by his father, worried about his mother confiscating his skateboard, worried about being embarrassed in front of his crush, worried about the gossip at school that might make a girl withdraw after confessing to her, worried about the class teacher next door maybe giving him small shoes, worried about the pile of homework that can't be finished after two days off... …
In those days, you could experience many ups and downs in one day, and you always seemed to have endless energy and endless energy.
It turns out that that is youth.
What is he like at the age of twenty-five?
“Mom, remember to bring your ID.”
"Mom, there is no need to clean up those flower pots, we are not allowed to take them away."
"Mom, we have to leave, this is no longer our home."
It's a mess, Chicken feathers all over the floor.
He still remembers his mother’s face filled with astonishment when she learned that the beloved pot of peonies could not be taken away. She could not understand and kept asking, “Isn’t it just a pot of flowers? That’s my flower, why should I Can't you take her away?" He was in no mood to comfort his mother.
He needs to calm down, he needs to be rational, because he is the parent now.
Everything happened in such a hurry that they had no time to pack their luggage. They only had time to take away their documents and a little emergency private money that their father secretly hid in the humidifier, and then they were kicked out like a lost dog.
Hurrying to a relative's house for refuge, he encountered a series of closed doors. He and his mother walked all afternoon without finding a place to stay.
He knelt in front of his uncle's house for two hours, but his uncle did not show up. His aunt cautiously poked her head out of the balcony and dropped a note.
The note was blank and contained five hundred dollars in cash.
Looking at the blank note, there was no idea in his mind. Although the things that needed to be dealt with were piled up like a mountain, he had no clue at all. He didn't know where to start.
At that moment, he began to miss those previous worries.
His eyes were slightly hot, but he realized that his mother was next to him. He hurriedly wiped away and straightened his back again. He needed to be strong.
Does he resent his father?
In fact, for a long time, he refused to believe what happened.
In my memory, my father was always tall and majestic. Although he was strict, he was also loving. He always looked at me with focused and expectant eyes.
How could a father like that disappear and leave them defenseless under a hail of bullets, never to be heard from again.
While he was awake all night, he thought about countless possibilities and excuses for his father, and even imagined the worst and most terrifying possibility, but there was no answer, never an answer.
There was no time to be sad or panic. The storm ahead was still waiting. He was thrown into a war with his bare hands, and his confusion, fear, and confusion were all gone. Being allowed to escape into the huge nothingness overnight, the only thing that can be done is to firmly grasp the present -
Focus on today, do not and cannot think about tomorrow, let alone the day after tomorrow.
One step, one footprint.
Seventeen-year-old him, that was true.
For him who is twenty-five years old, that is also true.
But the point is, whether you are seventeen or twenty-five, everything has long been locked in the depths of your memory, and you refuse to look back, and you don’t dare to look back.
Without time and strength, he must hold on to today. The power of memories is too strong and too turbulent. It can easily defeat the strength he has spent so much effort to build up. .
Those vivid and bright memories and those dark memories are all the same.
It was not until many, many years later that he finally understood the ending of "Spirited Away" and why Xiao Bailong told Qianxun not to look back when he walked out.
Because once they look back, the power of the "past" will completely defeat them, and they will no longer be able to move forward.
But today, he finally looked back.
He needs to turn back, and he believes that he is strong enough to turn back.
(End of this chapter)