Chapter 2 Who doesn’t feel bitter?
Cai Gen looked at the crazy old man. With every question he asked, he stepped forward step by step, dragging his twisted thighs and drawing a blood stain on the milky white floor.
His hand was still stubbornly passing the bean bag forward, getting closer and closer to the bar, and it seemed that he could smell the blood on the bean bag.
I wanted to turn around and run, but my legs seemed to be no longer my own, and I had forgotten how to move them.
The hand holding the cigarette started to tremble, and he wanted to speak, but his jaw was a little numb, and he struggled to squeeze out two words from his mouth.
"No."
After I finished speaking, it seemed that it was too direct. I tried to open my mouth, moved it a bit, and then added,
"I don't eat sticky food because it causes heartburn."
The old man was obviously not satisfied with this answer and became more and more excited.
"Then why did you buy it the year before last?"
Cai Gen seemed to be trying to remember it, and answered uncertainly,
"Maybe, you have some spare money?"
The old man was irritated by Cai Gen's words and continued to ask loudly
"Then why didn't you buy it last year?"
Cai Gen was frightened by the sudden loud noise and his hands shook. He dropped his cigarette on the bar and quickly picked it up.
However, there was still a black spot on the vermilion plywood on the bar.
The severe obsessive-compulsive disorder made Cai Gen forget about the old man in front of him and began to rub the black spot with his hands. However, the black spot was very stubborn and the bar was no longer perfect.
The old man saw Cai Gen suddenly cleaning the bar and didn't answer his words. He became even more angry and asked loudly again,
"Then why didn't you buy it last year? And you agreed to give it to me in exchange for food?"
Cai Gen, who was tortured by the black spots, was still trying hard to wipe the black spots on the bar. His mood began to change from fear to annoyance, and he answered casually,
"I don't have any spare money."
After saying that, I felt a little regretful. It would be better not to anger him any more. I added again,
"Look how pitiful you are."
When the old man heard this answer, he was obviously stunned and no longer so excited. He seemed to be begging and complaining.
"Then why don't you pity me this year?"
Cai Gen was completely impatient. He put out the cigarette that he had not taken six puffs on, and shouted in a loud voice,
"What do you want?"
The old man didn't expect the other party to be so tough. Suddenly, he seemed to have lost all his strength and collapsed on the ground,
"I hate you, I hate why you don't buy my bean bags, why you don't let me change my food, why you don't pity me."
Cai Gen felt helpless when he saw the old man like this,
"You said you were so injured that you just went to the hospital. Did the car owner escape? What's the use of hating me?"
The old man didn't seem to hear Cai Gen's words and kept talking to himself,
"If you buy my bean bag, I can go home earlier, 20 miles away, and I won't be hit by a car. I feel aggrieved and miserable."
Cai Gen was stunned for a moment, this information was a bit unexpected, and then he looked carefully at the old man sitting on the ground.
Not only were the thighs twisted and deformed, but the chest was also dented.
Is this a dead person? Got hit by a car this afternoon?
He withdrew his gaze and looked at the two gods of wealth on the bar. One was still heroic and the other was still kind, but they turned a blind eye to the old man.
Call your wife? It seemed too late. Call 110? What to say? There is a dead old man selling bean bags in my store? I took out a cigarette, my hands were shaking a bit, I lit it twice, then I lit it, took a big puff, gritted my teeth,
"Okay, uncle, then tell me how miserable you are? Then you can leave."
This time the old man heard what Cai Gen said, as if it was important, and began to complain seriously,
"I had a hard life. I had no money to study when I was a child, so I had to dig in the soil for food. Fortunately, I have a smart daughter who is good at studying. But my daughter also had a hard life. Her mother died when she was 7 years old. I am a grown man. Do you know how painful it is to pull her up?”
Cai Gen nodded and listened, taking a puff of cigarette,
"My daughter is very ambitious. She was admitted to a university in the provincial capital. She also found a good job in the provincial capital. She is getting married to someone she is dating. I have not paid off the debt for sending my children to school. I cannot afford a dowry. I, I, I’m sorry for my daughter.”
Cai Gen continued to nod and took another puff of cigarette,
"My daughter has a child, and her mother gave birth to her and her grandmother raised her. As an old man, I can't do anything to help. I feel miserable."
Cai Gen may not agree with this, so he took a puff of cigarette without nodding,
"My grandson is 8 years old, and I have met him three times. A few days ago, he said he would come to visit me during the New Year. He also told me that he needed a touch-screen mobile phone. Our family has been in drought for three years, and we really can't make money from the fields. , more than 1,000 yuan, I can’t afford it, I feel sorry for my grandson, I feel sorry for his grandma, I am useless.”
When Cai Gen heard this, he wanted to say something, but gave up and took a puff of cigarette again,
"You bought my bean buns the year before last. I thought to myself if they were a rare commodity in the city. As soon as winter came, I came to the city to sell bean buns. I asked and sold them door to door. I came back in the morning and returned in the evening. I walked more than 20 miles. I can’t even bear to eat at noon. I’m such a bad old man. I’m miserable.”
Cai Gen listened silently, letting the cigarette burn by itself without smoking.
"Today, I didn't sell a single bean bag. It's the Chinese New Year, so why am I so embarrassed to see my grandson? People talk about touching porcelain on TV, so I thought I'd do it too, just in case I can spare some money for a mobile phone. , but my life is miserable. I caught up with a female driver and mistakenly used the accelerator for the brake. Do you think I am miserable?”
When Cai Gen heard this, he didn't want to hear it anymore, but he didn't dare to interrupt the old man's narration, just wait.
"You said that throughout my life, I was busy with my parents when I was young, and I was busy with my daughter when I was older. I didn't enjoy any blessings, so I died like this. Do you think my life was miserable?"
When Cai Gen heard this, he finished his last puff of cigarette, put out the cigarette butt, and said to the old man,
"You've finished smoking, you've finished talking, let's go."
As soon as the old man heard that he was allowed to leave, he became excited again,
"I'm not willing to give in. I can't just let it go. It's not fair that my life is so miserable."
Cai Gen suppressed the impatience in his heart and said as calmly as possible,
"It is said in the book that there are eight kinds of suffering in life. Your suffering is nothing, so hurry up and leave."
The old man is very stubborn and accepts death.
"I don't understand the eight kinds of suffering. Anyway, I can't just let it go. I have suffered all my life and it's over like this? I'm not willing to accept it."
Cai Gen took a look and saw that this old man was still full of energy. What can you do if you don't give in?
Then, he softened up again,
"Old man, let me tell you, who doesn't feel a little bitter in his life? Who can live more comfortably than others?
It's all the same, do what you should do, do what you can do, then be content, relax your mind, and go. ”
"You can stand and talk without pain in your back. You have to be responsible for me. It's all because of you that my life is so miserable."
Cai Gen took a look and saw that the old man was already messing around. He stopped talking and silently lit another cigarette.
In the past, this old man selling bean buns was not like this, Cai Gen tried hard to remember.
Trapped in material desires, I feel that my life is pitiable; I am still trapped in the true nature of my nature, and I feel that my life is joyful. If you know it is sad, your earthly emotions will be broken; if you know it is joyful, you will reach the holy state. Quoted from "Cai Gen Tan"
(End of chapter)