Chapter 200 Life is like a drama, it all depends on acting
“@军师, my mother-in-law likes to pretend to be pitiful in front of her husband, and she often cries, making it look like I bullied her,
They always say bad things about me behind my back. What’s annoying is that my husband still believes him. What should I do? ”
Lin Feng: "I'm not my family, I'm an emotional strategist, I'm not the director of the Women's Federation, can you guys ask me something about love?
Sweeter,
Be happier,
It's okay to be a little stupid.
There are several wheats in a row, all covered with trivial matter.
No matter how awesome I am, I'm still only in my twenties.
I've never been married,
You come to me to ask about marriage.
And how to get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
I dare to say this stuff, do you dare to believe it? ”
There was a lot of confidence in the barrage.
Lin Feng was speechless: "You dare to believe it, but I dare not say it."
Looking back at Yu Huanshui: "Brother Shui, you are familiar with this question. How about you explain it?"
Yu Huanshui smiled bitterly: "My mother left early, and I have never encountered such a situation."
Lin Feng was startled: "I'm sorry, Brother Shui."
Yu Huanshui waved his hand: "It's okay, it's been many years, I've given up long ago."
Lin Feng nodded, turned back to the live broadcast room and said:
“The following remarks only represent some of my personal thoughts and suggestions, don’t give me any fucking guidance.
Which brother can't accept it if his defense is broken?
Go out and calm down, and don't punch me in the comment section. ”
The whole screen was full of ‘Oh my god’.
Lin Feng then said: "According to this sister's description, your mother-in-law is most likely to have a performing personality.
These people have a strong desire to perform. They like to fake crying, pretend to be pitiful, and play the role of the weak victim.
Then he seeks sympathy and comfort from others, making others feel that he is the one who has given the most and is the one being bullied.
Let others rally against the person he doesn't like.
If the person he attacks is, for example, your wife.
If you are easy to compromise and have a high sense of morality, then you will have the illusion that, oh, he is so pitiful, it is all my fault,
Once this illusion is formed.
Then you will start to suppress your own needs. No matter whether your mother-in-law's request is good or bad, you will do what she asks.
But you will be very frustrated.
In fact, this type of person also commonly uses this trick when playing the role of mother.
For example, if you look at some parents who have been educating their children since childhood, they will say that it is not easy for your mother to raise you, how hard it is for your mother, and that your mother has been here for you all her life,
You see, I didn’t divorce your father because of you.
You see, your dad beat me and scolded me, but I didn’t even leave.
They are used to showing weakness and pretending to be pitiful, and then taking advantage of their children's guilt to make them obedient.
This is one of the reasons why many mothers-in-law with acting personalities can easily control their sons.
So how to deal with this kind of mother-in-law?
Two methods.
The first type is that you can act better than him, while she acts the role of being bullied by her daughter-in-law.
You have to act as a filial, considerate, and sensible person.
When he cries, you cry louder and feel aggrieved than him.
Remember,
You can't blame your mother-in-law when you cry. You have to say that I understand her too well. It's really hard for my mother-in-law.
You cry because you empathize with her, not because she bullies you.
If she says bad things about you behind your back, you have to say good things about her in front of everyone. It’s not easy for you to say that my mother is so difficult to pull my husband off by herself. My mother is very cheerful, very open-minded, and very special. Well done.
If you support him and understand him, you have to do it in front of others.
At this time, if he says bad things about you, others will say bad things about him. How come you, a mother-in-law, are like this?
Your daughter-in-law is so good, but you are still not satisfied.
No matter how dissatisfied he is with you, he has nothing to say.
Or maybe others are surrounded by smoke and mirrors like you two. If they cry and you cry, they will think that your family is so troublesome. Others are willing to stay away and don't want to care about it at all.
The second way is to stay away.
As I said before, give more gifts and meet less, and never live together.
This is the best way to deal with any difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As adults, everyone has their own things to do. They are busy with their own families and careers. How can they have so much free time to perform with the elderly?
. . . . . .
On the barrage.
"She Cries" "You Cry Too" "Crying Worse than Her"
"Life is like a play, it all depends on acting (dog head)."
Ha ha ha ha.
"My family just had a performance at noon. My mother-in-law was kneeling on the ground and she was trying to survive. My husband protected me. Three people were attacking me. At this time, everything I said was wrong. My husband didn't listen at all. The whole family was subdued by the performance. ”
"When I was pregnant, because my health was not good, my husband invited his mother over, thinking that her mother would prepare delicious food for me. As a result, I had a lonely lunch and waited until my husband came back in the evening to eat meat."< br>
"The mother-in-law of the same style is just short of an Oscar for acting (laughing)."
"The same goes for my mother-in-law. She was young and ignorant at that time, and when she and her husband got into trouble, I should have cried harder than my mother-in-law."
"After reading the comments, it turns out that so many mothers-in-law are like this. My mother-in-law is also very nice to me in front of my husband. When my husband goes out and I talk to him, he says he doesn't understand, turns around and leaves."
"It's better to leave. I'm afraid there will be some people who are looking for faults and meddling in other people's business all day long."
"Mother-in-law is really scarier than mistress."
"It's better to stay away, if you don't feel too tired."
"What should I do if we can't separate?"
"Then install a camera and it will be clear who is right and who is wrong (sunglasses)."
Ordered.
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "But having said that, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, remember that either your man has no emotional intelligence, or your man has no strength.
Will a capable man have trouble getting along with his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
If you have anything to do, tell me directly, right? This is my wife, my woman, and I support you, right?
Or if my wife tells me something, it’s my mother, right?
If you want to give women enough support and strength, they will stop quarreling and arguing.
The second thing is that you have no emotional intelligence. You will find that many men listen to their mothers complain about how your wife is doing.
What would a man without emotional intelligence say?
They usually say: Oh mom, they didn't talk about you, they are not talking about you, don't think too much, you have nothing to do day by day, old lady, what are you making up?
At this time, your mother will definitely say that you have married a daughter-in-law and have forgotten your mother, which is another mistake.
But if you want to put it another way, just tell him: Really? Is that so? Dare she speak to you? Mom, look at it, I will beat her tonight, but no matter what, I will get a divorce.
You will find that your mother's attitude will change immediately.
Son,
Are you really divorced?
No,
We had nothing to do, we were just bickering.
It's okay, it's really okay.
Your mother can handle it herself.
Look, isn't this the end of it?
That’s why we say that when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don’t get along well, it’s because the man is incompetent. Brothers,
Although the words don’t sound good.
But if we want family harmony, we have a long way to go. ”
. . . . .
On the barrage.
Xiao Wan: "Does my grandma not like me? She always bullies my mother? When my dad found out, he went to my grandma directly and said: I can't bear to talk about my wife, so why do you say it? If you bully my wife again, we will sever the relationship. .
My dad is from a rural area, has little education, and has a bad temper. But since my dad quarreled with my grandma, my grandma has been very kind to my mom. ”
Yaoyao: "Wow, uncle is so domineering."
July: "This is true. Many men are afraid that if they offend their mothers, the family will be in chaos every day, so they ask their wives to be patient, escalating the conflict from mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to husband and wife.
But if the mother-in-law bullies her daughter-in-law at the beginning, her husband will tell her clearly that she can't do this. If you protect your wife strongly, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become better. ”
Xiabao: "My husband doesn't dare to say that. If my husband says that, my mother-in-law will burst into tears. My son will be raised in vain, and my son and daughter-in-law will bully the old woman and die."
Classmate Xiao Ming: "It's the same in my family. My grandma bullies my mother and I ignore her, but my dad is a loser and dare not speak out."
"Waste Dad (Dog Head)"
Hahahahaha.
. . . . .
Okay,
Next one.
Ding~
"Hello, Military Advisor."
It's a boy.
Lin Feng: "Hello buddy, do you have any questions?"
Boy: "I don't have any problem, I just want to share a real problem that everyone will encounter."
Lin Feng: "What's the problem?"
"It's the bride price."
Lin Feng: "You just want to share?"
"Yes! Because my situation is exactly the opposite of that of the sister just now."
Lin Feng raised his eyebrows: "What do you mean?"
"She was pressured to lower the bride price because of her early pregnancy, and I kept raising the bride price because of her early pregnancy."
Lin Feng smiled; "It's interesting, let's talk about it."
"She and I were in a campus romance. We had been dating for about six years. We were planning to get married, but the relationship fell apart because of the bride price."
Lin Feng: "How much is the bride price?"
"200,000, but on this basis, we still need to buy a house. The price of a house is about 1.7 million,
We actually started talking about the bride price a year ago,
At that time, she said that she would take this money as a gift, and then she would deduct some of the money for food and drinks, and the remaining money would go to both of us.
But the two of us have been quarreling over this matter,
The two of us have never had such a big fight because of the second thing, and then went around in circles. . ”
Lin Feng: "What is the second thing?"
"There is no second thing."
Lin Feng: "Let's just say that your relationship is very good. We have been dating for 6 years and basically there have been no major quarrels, except for the issue of the bride price, right?"
"Yes, this matter has never been resolved. Everyone has been very tired this year,
In fact, we are all ordinary families, and we are not that rich.
But our jobs are pretty good. I work in a central enterprise and he works in a state-owned enterprise. In fact, we can pay off the mortgage by working together after we get married.
We also agreed that I would pay the down payment, and then we would repay the loan together.
She still has a little, I still have a big part,
Then I was willing to write half of the name of the house to her. ”
Lin Feng: "It is a good thing that a husband and wife have a good relationship and have the ability to work together."
"But her family doesn't think so. His parents think that the loan must be repaid by two people together, so the half I give is half of the loan,
The down payment was provided by our family, so he felt that he might not get half of the house.
So her parents originally agreed to give a bride price of 100,000 yuan, but their parents changed their minds and asked for 200,000 yuan.
But we have been in a relationship for six years, and I don’t believe she didn’t hear this sentence clearly.
Because the thinking of us northerners is that since you can pay one dollar, I am willing to write half of the name of this house to you. This is what I think.
She is from the South, so she thought half of what I said was half of the loan,
Also, she was pregnant early.
At that time, our discussion about the bride price fell apart at the dinner table,
Because the woman thinks that there is nothing wrong with me to strive for my daughter,
But our family does not have the down payment for the house, and it is difficult to come up with this penny.
In addition, she has a younger brother who is not particularly reliable or very up-to-date.
My parents thought they would never get back the 200,000 they took.
Worried about giving it to his younger brother, that's what he was thinking.
Of course, my subjective consciousness is that I believe that she would not do such a thing, and others in her family would not think so either,
But I can't change the thinking in my family.
My parents are relatively strong.
So in the end we broke up, and there was no way we could have that child,
The child was quite old at that time. When I saw the child coming out of the basin in the hospital, I felt very uncomfortable. ”
Lin Feng frowned: "Brother, you two are just guilty."
"Yes, I admit it, and because we had children, we had already thought about getting married, but we never imagined that it would end up like this. But at the dinner table, it was just the tempers of both parents. .”
Lin Feng: "At the dinner table, you each stood for the interests of your own family, which led to the breakdown of your marriage that had not yet begun. Talking at this time is not a relationship, but a confrontation between the two parties.
Everyone is pursuing their own interests, and no one is willing to compromise or make concessions. ”
Boy: "That's right, but things have already happened. I went to find her for the last time,
I asked her, I said I don’t have a house or a car, would you like to marry me?
She said she couldn't, but she could continue the relationship,
I gave up completely. ”
Lin Feng: "You are so stubborn, you are so stupid!"
Well. .
Lin Feng: "I know what you were thinking when you said that. All you want is the firmness and attitude of a girl,
You can't have a house or a car, so you just want the other person to have an attitude, right?
There seems to be nothing wrong with it.
But,
Boys and girls think about problems differently.
When you say this to a girl,
Let me tell you, a girl will definitely refuse due to the risks of her own future marriage, including possible obstruction from her parents.
Because what you said is that assumptions are ideals, and when girls face this kind of problem, they must be thinking about reality.
Can you say that if she rejects you, she doesn't love you?
I don’t love you, but you still say I can continue to have a relationship with you?
The child was already so old, but because the bride price didn't agree, it was taken out of the girl's body.
You still feel that you are the most wronged,
Actually,
Girls endure much greater physical pain and mental stress than you do.
As long as she has a little resentment towards you, it is impossible for her to say that she can continue to have a relationship with you.
The reality is,
She is also very powerless.
She can't bear to face you, and she can't fight against her own family.
If you are a man, take the initiative to talk to the other person's parents, and take the initiative to talk to your own parents.
Don’t leave your fucking problems to women.
As a man, you feel that you cannot convince your parents.
Can she be a girl?
Why do you think that because she loves you, she should fight for you and her family?
Ask yourself,
Did you do it? ?
Six years of love,
Oh,
What a fart. ”
(End of chapter)