Chapter 204 It’s finished
December 2nd.
morning.
I occasionally take the initiative to seek a virtual daze. Of course, there is definitely no such word in textbooks, but I think so.
Simply focus on a certain point and actively filter out other debris. It's like opening a wide aperture to blur the background when taking photos. Pursue depth of field.
What on earth made those holes?
Big enough for a truck.
"...I'll go down and have a look."
The temperature has dropped a bit today. I can no longer shamelessly bend over and expose my neck.
My brother-in-law wore a jacket with a stand-up collar, not caring about image at all... and turned the collar up. Particles of snow occasionally fall on his shoulders, and strands of hair... easily form what I think is a perfect framing picture.
If I can take a good photo, maybe I will choose to use it as a computer wallpaper.
Um.
Of course it can't be a mobile phone wallpaper, wouldn't it be over if someone saw it?
Isn't a skewed and twisted building dangerous? Even though it looks like the two sides together form a triangle.
What should I do if someone goes in and it might collapse?
"Okay. Then I'll find a place to wait here. If you need anything, you can call me brother-in-law."
You can call immediately unless something happens.
I even felt that if the building collapsed... I would die. My brother-in-law will also be buried underground.
Is there something wrong with your thinking?
"..."
I watched my brother-in-law use a hammer to hit the expansion bolt in the right place, and then tighten the rope tightly, without changing his expression. It must be very deep and very high. It takes at least half a minute to hear the echo after throwing something down.
And he only had a small flashlight and a piece of rope tied to his wrist. He just fell down without changing his expression.
There are differences between my sister and me.
When my sister was in high school, there were initially many men attracted to her appearance, temperament, and family background. There is no doubt that those who dare to express their love to such a shining sister will at least present an excellent image on the worldly surface.
But soon, as one after another was mercilessly sunk, they were even hit to the point of depression. Unfriendly names such as ice cube face, eighth wife, female fist, etc. were spread. My sister's outward charm was still there, but no one dared to confess to her casually.
How am I different?
I don't hate men as much as my sister does. She is not as charming as her sister at the beginning, attracting many people to confess her love. After all, I always wear sportswear and don’t deliberately pursue being ‘proper’ like my sister. Looks like we'll be easier to get along with, right?
Therefore, they will always send me some incomprehensible words suddenly three days or a week later. My view on men is that they always meet each other in the same school, so why should we be so alienated? I am also a human being, a normal person who needs to communicate. But they seem to be just like their best friend said, they can only think with their lower body.
I gradually understood what my sister had said before. Boys in school are very naive. When looking at girls, they will always pay attention to appearance and figure first, and then examine themselves... If they feel there is an opportunity, they will stick to her.
However, what should we do if society, men and women are originally composed like this?
That is to say, men originally look at women with a scrutinizing and selective gaze, and women originally have to accept the gaze of being selected. Marriage is the law of derivative animals, in order to increase the ability to resist risks.
I struggled for a long time.
Until I saw with my own eyes that there were social animals on the tram who looked like homeless people, munching on cheap bread without paying attention to the surprised and disgusted looks of everyone around them. Debris flew.
That is definitely unqualified behavior.
But it suddenly dawned on me. My sister stayed in a nursing home and failed to return to normal and reintegrate into ordinary life. Just because I'm not in a nursing home, does that mean I can integrate?
There is no necessary connection between the two.
Originally, I would grow up little by little and enrich my knowledge little by little. In a normal society, ordinary views on others arise. But it’s different now. The trajectory of my life has changed.
When I look at men, I also scrutinize them.
He's very fancy and doesn't like it.
He is a sports student and must always stink. It's best not to get too close to me.
After all, he is good in appearance, family background, and grades... but he is not as good as his brother-in-law. Why is this conclusion reached? My brother-in-law is not handsome, nor is he in shape to compete in bodybuilding competitions. He doesn't have much elegance in his speech and so on. Even my brother-in-law and I don’t have overlapping hobbies.
Initially it was just a comparison. The more I compare, the more I fall into memories that have been beautified by me.
I watched The Killer Not So Cold alone in my private theater at home. Thinking about it, it was at that time that I had the idea of writing...I wanted to draw a story in which adults and children can finally achieve enlightenment.
Anyone who can laugh at that kind of story must be terrible.
But I just wanted to be happy at that time, because both my sister and my father... thought I was normal. I am hope, role model.
The more I recall, the more I draw... I think about it every day and dream about it at night. I dreamed about some not-so-sound images.
I will wake up immediately when I reach the critical place.
That's easy to understand too.
After all, I have no experience and I have absolutely no idea. Even if I dreamed that the people in the bathroom were me and my brother-in-law, my sister would be me waiting at the door. I don't know what to do secretly inside.
‘Do you have a website like that? ’
'ha? ’
Of course my best friend will be surprised. After all, I have always been a good baby, so asking her for a color website or something... is unimaginable, right?
‘The most I’ll do is go to b2 and read some fan fiction. ’
Fan fiction?
‘That’s Nantong. Handsome guy posts. ’
Not interested.
'I don't know why you are having trouble... I'll ask. ’
My best friend easily pulled the boy from the fish pond and asked about the resource website. She complained that the man she was chatting with would ask him this kind of question specifically, thinking that there was a chance.
I got the website and opened it directly using QQ. Naturally, it was blocked by the security center. I shamelessly asked my best friend and found out that I need to copy the URL and open it in the browser. That was the first time I entered a risk webpage with a red exclamation mark, and the various flashing advertisements made me very uncomfortable.
‘…’
It turns out that men and women are like this.
It’s like the Creator specially prepared it when he created man. Women just have the dents, and men just have the things to make up for.
Even if there is mosaic, it does not prevent me from figuring out what it looks like.
After all, I am the reference myself. I also learned in physiology class what the structure of a man is.
I have doubts...
I've heard that sound, heard the movement of my sister and brother-in-law next door to the supermarket. At that time, I thought it was my sister and brother-in-law who were arguing, and my sister was crying.
Now I know it’s not about arguing or crying.
Will it be comfortable?
I can't imagine it.
But it doesn’t stop me from dreaming. As if to respond to me, if I dream of being in the bathroom with my brother-in-law again, I won’t suddenly wake up at the critical moment. There is a follow-up.
At that time, I simply noticed something strange in my body after getting up. I also came to the conclusion that at least in the dream, my brother-in-law and I did the same thing as my sister, and it wouldn’t hurt.
My sister is stupid.
I told her that love means moving forward courageously. Say it directly.
But ultimately, I am obviously a dabbler. Why do you say it so absolutely? Even at first I couldn't be sure whether my brother-in-law was my brother-in-law. My father told me that if I could deceive my sister... let my 'brother-in-law' play the role of brother-in-law.
I suffered for a while. But luckily, the brother-in-law doesn’t need to play brother-in-law. Because he is who he is. My sister is not so easily deceived. The brother-in-law is not that easy to play either.
But here comes the problem.
Brother-in-law will marry his sister. Definitely.
When my brother-in-law is away, there is no difference between my sister and me. Neither of them can see their brother-in-law, and they both live in a society that already has a sense of separation. It's just that I hid it very well. My sister was in more pain than me, so there was no need to hide it.
Now my brother-in-law is back from the dead. As incredible as it is, it's true.
I excitedly bought a plane ticket and then thought about the dream I had had. And retreated frustrated.
I've known it ever since. I made a big mistake and insulted my sister and brother-in-law.
I shouldn't... have so many memories and such frequent needs for relaxing dreams like an addiction. If I could realize it earlier, I would still be a lovely sister.
I already started apologizing at that point.
'sorry. ’
I... got emotionally invested in the process of recalling the memories. Excessive delusions and emotions would give me an addictive pleasure, but in reality they would all turn into backlash, and became a source of pain after I finally saw my brother-in-law and sister sweetly together.
Now.
Peering into the bottomless hole. Debris and debris were scattered around. Looking up, there are still tall buildings standing outside...but they are all a little crooked. It's like a wet clay sculpture that has been shaken and deformed.
Snow never faded out of sight. I squatted alone in the front hall further from the cave entrance. It should be the front office of some company, right? There are also some tables and sofas that have been deformed by concrete blocks... The ground wires inside the walls have been removed for some reason. They may be planning to renovate them.
"..."
Fantasy world.
Dream.
I stretched out my hand, my hand was very clean...the texture was what is commonly known as broken palm. They say that the broken palm represents an unforgettable relationship or fate that will be suddenly and forcibly interrupted.
I'm not dreaming. If it was a dream, I shouldn't feel the deformed corner of the table touching my butt when I sit down.
"Ha."
You won't feel cold, and you can't help but feel the heat when you hold it in your hands.
I've done terrible things.
That is to say, I let my brother-in-law touch me every day when he is asleep. It was like Pandora's box, thinking it would be just once... then it turned out to be the last time. I thought it would be over in ten seconds, but I watched my brother-in-law be unconscious for countless more seconds.
Being touched by my brother-in-law was different from the self-satisfaction and safety I imagined on my own.
He could literally reach anywhere I wanted to be played with. When I think of my sister’s gentle smile, I feel a strong sense of guilt.
But the shameful thing is... there will be stronger feedback involuntarily.
I use my brother-in-law's hand.
I was voluntarily bumped into the baby cafeteria, muttering to myself and shamelessly asking him to decide between me and my sister. He even put it directly between the thighs to close it.
I heard.
Being teased by someone you like... can easily become weird. It seems to be true.
My most precious thing. It should be given to the person I really like, the man who can accompany me for the rest of my life.
Brother-in-law doesn’t meet the criteria. He has a sister, and she is pregnant.
But now I only have one thing on my mind.
If only...
How about letting me become an adult through my hands?
It's a pity that I can't take it any further. But just to this extent, I couldn't help but tremble.
So that's it...
The woman in the information will be in that strange state. Gradually it became clear.
Trembling, restrained.
I can feel the congestion in the baby's cafeteria again and experience the reaction.
It means...wanting more.
Um.
That's why I wrapped my legs around my brother-in-law's hand.
That would have been a shameless and despicable thing. I thought no one would know about it, so I just kept it hidden in my heart.
But no.
Why?
The temperature of my brother-in-law's left hand is abnormal. It's like covering something with enough heat for a long time. Moreover, that hand obviously never touched me. At most, I just asked that hand to hug me or touch my face.
"Suck."
I put my brother-in-law's hand to my lips. I don't know what the smell is, but it's definitely not the weather or the quilt.
Somewhat greasy.
Some smell of sweat.
I have an itchy chin, which is very mild...if you don't pay close attention, you won't notice it at all. That's hair.
"..."
moment. My body is tense.
It all became clear at once.
It all connected at once.
Why would my brother-in-law suddenly forcefully ask me to change into suitable clothes and make up so many excuses? If my brother-in-law really wanted me to protect myself better, he wouldn't have taken the initiative to explain so much. Will ask directly. I'll explain it after I ask the question.
My brother-in-law would take a second look after I put on sportswear that highlighted my figure, not just because the clothes were really provocative... but because he was awake. He sees all the bad things I do.
"..."
I sat on the ground at the table. Hug your knees.
Brother-in-law, when will you show up? It's getting dark.
I'm not afraid.
Because I know very well that my brother-in-law cannot abandon me.
The temperature seems to have dropped again. I huddled my shoulders and hugged my knees.
Sitting cross-legged at this angle... your safety pants will be visible. What if I don’t have safety pants?
Stockings.
I know my brother-in-law likes that kind of stuff. I'm not stupid. Why did my sister wear different styles of pantyhose every day at that time... I understand now.
Can't stop.
Ever since I confirmed that my brother-in-law was awake, I couldn't stop thinking.
What does my brother-in-law think?
How does my brother-in-law feel?
What is my brother-in-law going to do to me?
scold? despise? persuade?
Or...accept?
Maybe, my brother-in-law is lonely? My sister said that my brother-in-law is very lustful, maybe... he is also interested in me?
It's just that he can't speak easily. I can't speak to my sister-in-law, even when my sister-in-law is so rotten... I can't speak.
"..."
The wind blew my hair in front of my eyes.
I finally saw a figure crawling out of the pit. Carrying a flesh-colored object. That's the monster I hate.
"Did something dangerous happen to my brother-in-law?"
"Not really. To this extent."
"..."
There is a feeling that is difficult to extricate oneself from.
More likely an excuse.
In short, I suddenly understood my sister’s mood. Why do you want your brother-in-law so strongly to just stay in the supermarket even if he doesn't do anything? Me too.
Um. Still an excuse?
I thought it would be nice to do that. Why don't I do it?
I can.
I do.
I'm already bad, I don't care if I suck more. My brother-in-law already knows, even if he doesn't say anything... he can no longer treat me like a sister. He will definitely think of my body, and perhaps restrain himself or remain calm.
I'm leaving here tomorrow. Where to go? Can I leave this dream faster by following a certain path that my brother-in-law knows but I didn’t ask and I don’t know?
"I still think this meat is a bit disgusting. My brother-in-law can eat more if he can."
In fact, I am not that pretentious.
I'm just beginning to understand a little bit about the various feelings my sister has towards her brother-in-law that I couldn't understand before.
Why do you care so much about your brother-in-law?
She tidied my brother-in-law's clothes so kindly and smoothed out the wrinkles.
Why do you keep looking at your brother-in-law even though you are very hungry? It was strange to me who was eating so much.
And why did I always complain to me, who was still a child at that time, that my brother-in-law didn’t understand women’s hearts at all.
I understand now. I thought so too.
It doesn’t matter if the environment is good or bad. As long as they sleep together, it's okay as long as they're close to each other. If you are willing to take the initiative to touch me...I will definitely be so happy that I can't help myself.
If you would accept me, I would definitely cry.
Eat more. These are all the results of my brother-in-law, and I can't do anything useful. It won't consume much physical energy.
December 3rd.
Early morning.
"..."
After my brother-in-law goes to bed. I went out quietly and went to the room where the clothes were stacked to find something suitable.
No.
I went to the damp negative floor to look for a better one.
In fact, I feel very inferior, right?
Otherwise, I would not only think about the underwear that my sister asked me to help choose. How does your sister feel when she puts it on? Do you feel ashamed because you reveal too much in the baby cafeteria and are too sensational?
These shorts look like they cover a lot. But in fact, the important parts are hazy and translucent. The surrounding lace decoration is completely see-through. After lifting it up to my waist, I felt like it was leaking air even when I walked.
I turned on the small flashlight.
Look in the mirror and braid your hair little by little in front of the mirror. My hands are shaking.
I saw in the mirror that my cheeks were flushed, and I had never been dressed in such a lewd outfit... before. I don't have the habit of changing my clothes for anyone in particular.
"Sister...I'm not bad either."
"My figure, appearance..."
"Am I... now the same as you when I was 18?"
My brother-in-law is not a good person.
I would think about it later and realize that my sister had been coerced to a certain extent in the beginning. And I actually hope to encounter the same thing as my sister.
"It's... impossible to be my sister anymore."
Right?
So I had to go, I had to do it.
Letting my thoughts ferment, thinking about the bad results, thinking about drifting away after leaving... I can't bear it.
My legs were still shaking.
The cool touch of black stockings, the soft feedback of feet stepping on high heels.
Snap, snap, snap.
I still took off my high heels. I can't stand that noise, at least not now.
"Brother-in-law, you have feelings for me."
"He wanted that too."
"Yeah."
"He is interested in me. All he has to do is reciprocate that interest...no need to think about anything."
"..."
Gradually, I calmed down. More calmly than expected, he pushed open the brother-in-law's half-open door. There was no moon and the flashlight was off. Of course I couldn't see anything clearly.
I can only reach out and touch it.
My brother-in-law's body is completely different from mine, very tough. Since I don't have a razor, my beard has grown a lot.
Can you see it?
The way I look now, is it obscene?
Do you know how to unlock it? Front buckle, click to open.
Will you see it?
No more safety pants. Just pants that are so thin that they can't even be called a defense line.
Black silk... I can wear it too. Maybe not to the level of my sister, but I'm definitely not bad either. My best friend always says that my legs are just right.
If I had known better, I wouldn’t have chosen to run every morning.
My skin is not as fair as my sister's. At least my wrists and calves aren't that white.
Awake, but not talking.
Do you want me to take the initiative?
It doesn't matter. I know that my brother-in-law has many things to consider, about me, about my sister, and about other wives. And all I have to consider is...
"Wow..."
Like this, kneel one leg first on the mattress. Let you know, I'm going to start.
Still no response.
That is tacit consent.
Bring up the other leg again, this time I want to sit on my brother-in-law's belly. Of course, no matter how light I am, I still weigh about 100 pounds, so my stomach will definitely feel uncomfortable if I sit on it.
So, I'll take the weight off my legs. As long as the skin drum is just touched and can be felt.
ah.
Who would you like... would you think about it this way? Will my sister be like this too? Definitely.
Lift up your clothes?
It will be in direct contact with my drum. My stomach is very hot. Haha, I can't feel the obvious abdominal muscles after falling asleep. Could it be that I deliberately inhaled a little before to make the feeling more obvious?
But, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have to do that. What about having abs or not? It's not like I sit down like this because of that kind of thing.
I'm going to kiss.
Still no opinion?
Somewhat obsessed. A little beard pricks my chin, and my brother-in-law's lips are a little peeled... But the lip gloss I just put on smells good, right? It can also help my brother-in-law moisturize it.
ah.
Yes. Behind the skin drum, I felt it. Trying to break out the pants stuff.
I didn't dare to touch it before. Afraid that my brother-in-law would wake up.
It doesn't matter now.
I can hold on.
And then...is this uncomfortable?
So, do you want to touch the baby canteen? It doesn't matter, it was me who wanted to do this, it was me who was shameless... holding my brother-in-law's hand. It's all my fault.
Brother-in-law, don’t think so much. Just put all the blame on me. I am a younger sister who grew up to be Bitchi.
Can't you go on acting anymore?
I hold such strong evidence that I can feel its fluctuations even through my pants.
Really.
After all this, is my baby canteen still unattractive? A little pressure is okay.
I covered my brother-in-law's hand, which was still on my chest.
I'm a little dizzy and my head feels congested.
So shy.
Not only is the brain congested, but the baby canteen is too. My brother-in-law must have completely captured the changes.
so.
I'm going to speak.
"It's true..."
"Actually, my brother-in-law is awake all the time. Right?"
Then he tightened his grip slightly like a mischievous person.
asked in an almost trembling tone.
"..."
I felt my brother-in-law's hand trying to pull away, but I could still increase my strength to stop it.
Isn’t it bad?
Compared with my sister, it’s not bad, right?
I'm going to continue.
Poor, hateful, wanting.
"It's too much."
"Brother-in-law just watched me like this...doing terrible things."
"It's too much."
"So..."
Continue and press your brother-in-law's hand harder.
"Brother-in-law...can you feel it?"
"My heartbeat is super fast now. Super, super, super fast... It feels like I'm going to jump out."
"..."
"Brother-in-law, there is no need to be patient."
"Do whatever you want... do to me. Well... I can do anything and am willing to do it. As long as you are a brother-in-law."
"..."
Thoughts rise and fall.
This means that my brother-in-law has strong feelings for me.
So happy.
Brother-in-law, you don’t treat me like a child. You treat me like a woman.
So shy.
If my brother-in-law touches my panties now, he will know that I am in a bad state. So embarrassed.
"Xiao Xi..."
"No!!!"
Why?
Then I heard my brother-in-law's tone that seemed to be very tangled and sad. I'm angry.
Many uncaptured images flashed through my mind.
An unfounded sadness almost came to his throat.
From this, I yelled out unconsciously.
"..."
"Brother-in-law, please... don't talk."
I leaned down and continued to kiss him like glue. The dead skin on my brother-in-law's lips is gone and I have smoothed it all.
"Brother-in-law, would you like to kiss me?"
"..."
"Just think of me as your sister, isn't it the same?"
"..."
"Look, my sister and I wear the same clothes. I also have manicure... I have a good figure too, right?"
"..."
"Brother-in-law, please... don't reject me. You can call me Yao. Please... don't think about anything."
What the hell am I talking about?
And why are you crying?
It doesn't matter.
I'm calm and I can do more.
Unzip my brother-in-law.
Everyone says that men are animals that think with their lower body...can my brother-in-law do the same? Just start right away.
"Xiao Xi."
"..."
"I have always treated you as my own sister."
I can't move. I also forgot that my legs should bear the weight and I couldn't sit directly on my brother-in-law's belly.
Why am I thinking about weight bearing now?
There are more thoughts that my head can’t bear.
"Don't think about anything, just put on my coat first."
"..."
I made a very serious mistake.
That's what my sister is afraid of avoiding. Cause trouble to my brother-in-law.
His body was shaking. That's natural, because I'm scared.
It's over.
From now on I will neither be a sister nor be treated as a woman. Just strangers you wouldn’t want to meet.
Something suddenly occurred to me.
Why did my sister cut herself off?
Does that really relieve the pain?
(End of chapter)