Chapter 20 "Full of Knowledge"
This crosstalk competition has a variety of performances, because there are crosstalk actors from all over the country, so many crosstalkers have timid speech.
Being timid is a jargon term, and the simple explanation is: one who speaks in tongues!
Jin Fei from Tang City in Hebei Province used his hometown dialect to play the role of a small character delivering food, which brought a lot of jokes. Among the first group of actors, they ranked first.
The second group started soon, and the first one performed a folk song with a good voice, which was highly praised by the vocalist Mr. Da Wei on the judging panel.
Immediately afterwards, Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang came on stage.
"Next, please enjoy the cross talk "Full of Knowledge", performed by: Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang!"
"A round of applause, please!"
After the host announced the curtain, Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang strode forward. As soon as the show started, after briefly introducing their names, Qi Long began to make typos.
"On the stage of this national competition, my mood is very up and down, up and down!"
"Do you mean to say uneasy?"
"Ang, yes, yes, please forgive me, my cultural level is not high."
"Accomplishments!" Gao Dongqiang corrected again, and Qi Long turned to look at him.
Unexpectedly, Gao Dongqiang came up with a warning at this time: "You must be lucky that you are not a host at CCTV, otherwise, like you, not only would all the wages for the last month of work be deducted, but you would also have to pay some extra!"
The effect of baggage is very good, because Sa Beining and the others mentioned it before, so the audience immediately became happy, including Kang Hui, Sa Beining, and Nicometi also squinted their eyes and smiled.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm so nervous!"
"If you can use words, use them. If you can't, just speak in plain English!"
"Hey, the main thing is that I really can't compare with Teacher Dongqiang. He is a serious university graduate, but I only have three books and four pages!"
"Three pages and four pages? Do you mean to say that you are not studying (yi)?"
"Ang, don't talk about me, just talk about you, you graduated from Shanxi Food University!"
"Am I a loser? How can I go to university? Normal University!"
In just one opening, he repeatedly made typos, including "achievements" and "four pages", all of which were common typos. He immediately established the image of an educated person who was funny, ignorant and flattering, and then the two of them talked about four things. Great classics.
Qi Long said that he particularly liked "Journey to the West" and could sing the theme song. He pinched Orchid with his fingers, blinked his eyes to imitate electric discharge, and started singing.
He used the voice of a dramatic actress to sing "The Love of a Daughter": [Mandarin ducks and butterflies fly together, the spring scenery in the garden is intoxicating. I quietly ask the holy monk, is my daughter beautiful? Is my daughter beautiful? 】
While singing, he also made some exaggerated gestures and winked at the audience and Gao Dongqiang. Gao Dongqiang turned his head and covered his face, looking blank.
"Brother Yudi, brother Yudi, if you continue to ignore me, my Queen Mother will be angry!"
"Hey! Yudi means the younger brother of the Emperor of the Tang Dynasty, not the Jade Emperor in heaven!"
"Oh! Is that so? How is it? How do you sing the theme song?"
"I'm so anxious for you. Have you watched the 25th episode of "Journey to the West"? The theme song should be "I dare to ask where the road is, you carry the burden and I hold the horse."
After reading "Journey to the West" and showing timidity, Qi Long turned around and talked about Water Margin. He mispronounced "Water Margin" as "kettle" and was corrected by his partner.
"Water Margin is not a big kettle, it's about heroes, Liangshan Bo!"
"With Zhu Yingtai, they turned into butterflies and flew away!"
As he said that, Qi Long sang again: [伱also talks about Liao Zhai, I also talk about Liao Zhai]
"It has nothing to do with Liaozhai!"
"Water Margin" showed cowardice and changed to "Three Kingdoms". Qi Long said that he liked the three counselors of the Three Kingdoms the most, Zhuge Liang, Kong Ming and Wolong, but was corrected that these three were the same person.
"Don't worry about a few people. Anyway, I like Zhuge Liang very much. I captured Meng Huo seven times!"
Gao Dongqiang nodded with satisfaction: "It took me a long time to say something right!"
"Six out of Qishan!"
"Yes, he really knows something!"
"Died of illness in Wuzhangyuan!"
"That was a scene that made many people shed tears!"
"Explore the bottomless pit four times!"
Gao Dongqiang, who originally planned to hold him in his arms, immediately looked at him in confusion.
"Three hits at Zhujiazhuang, Legend of Two Dragons of the Tang Dynasty, one year old and one prosperous!"
"This is all nonsense. When you talked about the Three Kingdoms, why did you go back and talk about Journey to the West, Water Margin, and also added martial arts novels and Tang poetry? The knowledge is too confusing!"
"It's easy to get confused if you learn too much!" "I've never heard of it!"
"Three Kingdoms" showed his timidity. This time Qi Long changed to the story of a talented man and a beautiful woman, "A Dream of Red Mansions". He said that his "Wang Ning Mei" was particularly good.
Gao Dongqiang looked unbelieving, but Qi Long insisted on expressing himself. He even had to say the four lines of the opening poem before singing, and changed into a broadcasting voice and started to say:
[Then that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that! 】
Although the words of the four sentences are the same, they are full of emotion and have different cadences. The first two sentences gradually rise, and the third sentence reaches the peak of emotion. Finally, the fourth sentence is chanted like a long sigh.
"Well you didn't remember a single word!"
"What's important is the feeling. Don't all those who make movies talk about numbers these days?"
The idea of reciting lines and saying numbers while filming a movie has been around in the entertainment industry for a long time. It is also a familiar joke to the public. Only when the jokes spoken by crosstalk actors are familiar to the audience will they get more laughter.
Qi Long started singing again, showing off his good voice again! Although the song "Daughter's Love" was mispronounced and the performance was rather exaggerated, the singing voice was pleasant. You can still enjoy it if you close your eyes and don't watch him being "cheap"!
This time, Qi Long didn't have those exaggerated pretences. He made the audience feel like listening to fairy music when he opened his mouth!
[One is Langyuan Fairy Flower, the other is Beautiful Jade Flawless]
After two words about "dress length", some viewers began to close their eyes and enjoy, but Qi Long turned a corner and made them burst into laughter: "One is carrying the burden, and the other is holding the horse!" 】
"I shouldn't have expectations, why did I change my journey to the West again?"
"You just said you were confusing me. It's easy to get confused when you learn too much!"
"Red Mansions" showed his timidity. This time Qi Long talked about the last one, "The Classic of Mountains and Seas". He first talked about Jingwei's reclamation of the sea. Why did he reclamate the sea? Because of the bad guy! It’s time to fill the sea!
My partner quickly corrected him. Jingwei was the daughter of Emperor Yan, and the story was about ancient mythology. He told him the original text of "The Classic of Mountains and Seas".
Qi Long suddenly understood and retells the story in vernacular: "Oh oh oh, I understand. Jingwei was sitting in a small boat. Suddenly there was a big wave in the sea. She couldn't help but exclaimed: 'nia, nia, the wind and waves are too big (Shaanxi dialect) )! '"
"Why do you, Jingwei, still speak the Shaanxi dialect?"
"Emperor Yan is from Shaanxi Province!"
"The Classic of Mountains and Seas" showed its cowardice. Qi Long talked about Nezha making trouble in the sea, saying that Nezha's naughty child made himself as dirty as a loach, so he bathed in the sea and rubbed mud!
"The Third Prince of the Dragon Palace of the East China Sea braised cake!"
"Ao Bing!"
"Ao Bing was eating braised pancakes when mud suddenly fell on his dragon's beard. Ao Bing was furious: Is this a dry monkey? (Tangcheng dialect)"
"You, the Third Prince of Donghai, are still a food delivery guy?"
Jin Fei, who was exposed, burst out laughing, and the audience also started to laugh because of the recent show.
Then, a Yaksha with a Henan accent came up and started fighting with Nezha. Nezha stirred up a storm by dancing his hula hoop and red silk.
"At this time Jingwei rowed a small boat: niania, the wind and waves are too strong!"
"Nonsense, there is no such thing as Jingwei, and why do you have one character and one accent?"
"How do you differentiate between characters? You can answer everything I say, niania"
"Jingwei!"
"Monkey?"
"Ao Bing!"
"What are you doing!"
"Yaksha!"
"Yes!"
"Okay, please stop talking about this. Is there nothing about Jingwei?"
"Okay, there is no problem with Jingwei. Nezha stirred up the wind and waves, and the wind and waves directly flooded Jinshan Temple. A monk named Fahai immediately shouted: 'I messed with that one' (Sichuan dialect)!"
"Fuck you!"
At this point, the cross talk ended. The whole cross talk was just a joke about nonsense and correction. Since it was all famous works and allusions that everyone knew, the joke was quite big.
The program needs to be compact, and the rhythm of the two of them is also quite fast, one burden after another, and many viewers never stop laughing.
Sa Beining came on stage and pointed to an audience member in the distance and said: "I saw that person with my own eyes and burst into tears from laughter. Thank you both for your wonderful performance!"
This is a full-length high-energy cross talk by Wang Sheng of Miao Fu, "One Battle to Become a God", highly recommended (the author's point of view is the same as that of the protagonist in the article, don't care about the grievances between the cross talk actors, we are just spectators, just enjoy watching!)
(End of chapter)