Chapter 92 Liar Company
Through a simple chat, Qi Long discovered that Sha Yi was a bit of an honest person, honest and believed whatever he said.
Qi Long just joked that there was tea prepared by the hospital, which could be drunk before the physical examination. He really believed it. He immediately stood up and looked inside. He saw a row of beakers, filled with orange-yellow liquid, most of which were relatively similar in color. deep.
It took half a second to realize that it was for urine testing. When he came back, he pushed Qi Long: "The mouth of a crosstalk actor is a liar!"
In addition to the two of them, Yue Yunpeng and Sa Beining were also examined together, both of whom Qi Long was familiar with.
In the show, there is also Nicometi and an actor from Treasure Island who is not familiar to everyone: Ruan Jingtian.
Nicometi has a video recording mission this morning, so he will have his physical examination the next day without joining everyone else.
Ruan Jingtian's physical examination was done in Baodao.
This actor has become a popular actor recently. He plays a tough gangster and is more popular as a villain than as a decent character.
"Good guy, we five old, weak, sick, disabled and pregnant people bundled together can't even beat him!" Qi Long learned that Ruan Jingtian was on the show, looked at the video of his gangster shooting, and sighed.
Sa Beining: "Please tell me clearly, why are we old, weak, sick and pregnant?"
That's so simple. Sha Yi is old, Nicomet is weak, Sa Beining is ill and is being treated with internal height enhancement, and Qi Long was hit by a car and still has steel bars in his body.
After saying that, Qi Long and Sa Beining looked at Yue Yunpeng at the same time.
Sa Beining patted Xiao Yueyue's belly: "You're on the wrong track, madam. This is a physical examination, not a prenatal examination!"
Yue Yunpeng pushed him and everyone laughed together.
Sha Yi Lian Dao, with Qi Long and Sa Beining as two living treasures, the program's effect is indistinguishable!
The physical examination officially started, and everyone stopped making trouble and queued up in each department honestly. When it was time to draw blood, when it was time to take X-rays, the whole morning was spent in the physical examination.
Qi Long told Sa Beining to pay attention to his cross talk tonight, upload it and read it, a book based on your story of being deceived.
After hearing this, Sa Beining agreed repeatedly and expressed his expectation.
Since everyone had their own business, they didn't have a meal together and left separately.
Today, Qi Long will take the high-speed train to Beichun City. Beichun City Deyun Club is opening. As a native of Beichun City, he is naturally on the cast list. The show is called "Liar Company"!
He modified it based on "Thieves Company" in his previous life. Due to the rise of mobile payment, fewer and fewer people carry cash when going out, and there are already a lot fewer thieves, so Qi Long turned stealing into cheating.
Generally, when a new venue is opened, Deyun Club takes it very seriously. Guo Degang and Yu Qian even came to perform a show in person to save money.
The top two in front of them were Qi Long and Dong Qiang.
At this stage, in Deyunshe, except for Lao Guo and Yu Qian, basically no one else can catch them. Not to mention the nephews, Gao Feng, Hou Zhen and Sun Yue of the same generation are also hanging on.
Because you don't know what kind of works Qi Long will come up with to blow up the scene. Take the variety show recorded a few days ago as an example, "Pan Him" is still very popular on the Internet.
In Penguin Video's "Deyun Douxiaoshe", Meng Hetang and Qi Long's cross talk show has a high number of views, and the screen is filled with comments about him!
Qi Long and Dong Qiang, as the bottom two, need to control their time. Fortunately, this program is not long, even if Qi Long adds some work, it will not be enough.
The previous performances passed by in a hurry, and soon it was their turn.
"Next, please enjoy the cross talk: "Liar Company", performers: Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang!"
The two of them are wearing suits here.
In fact, crosstalk actors do not have to wear long coats when doing crosstalk. Generally speaking, old actors wear long coats, while new crosstalk actors wear suits. Dong Qiang’s suit looks exquisite, while Qi Long’s suit is gray and slightly plain.
The elders in their hometown gave them warm applause, and even before they reached the stage, several elder brothers shouted "Okay"!
"The big brothers and sisters in the Northeast are so enthusiastic, thank you all!" Gao Dongqiang put his right hand on his chest at the table, bowed slightly, and gave a knight's salute.
Qi Long pointed at him: "Ah, Gao Dongqiang? How about you?"
"It's me! Who are you?" The two shook hands together.
Qi Long patted his chest: "I am a language worker just like you!"
"Are you also a linguist?"
"Yes, I have to talk every day, from morning to night, and sometimes I have to continue talking after get off work."
"Hey, so are we. We talk on stage and practice with our mouths off stage!"
"My job will provide positive emotional value to others and make people temporarily happy." Qi Long waved his hand.
"So are our cross talk actors!"
"But there are two differences between us. My happiness is short-lived. After the happiness passes, there are other emotions!"
Gao Dongqiang looked understanding: "Oh, you are a sketch actor. At the end of every scene, you have to move the audience, tell the audience that the core of comedy is tragedy, sublimate the theme, and eat dumplings at the end!"
"No, no, no," Qi Long waved his hand: "The ending of the skit is touching. Our other emotions are the sadness, self-blame, and sorrow they felt after they found out that they had been defrauded of their money!"
"Are you a liar?" Gao Dongqiang looked at Qi Long with disgust.
Qi Long retorted: "Cross talk actors can't speak? What do you mean by liars? We are just porters of other people's property!"
"Move it to yourself? Isn't that still a liar?"
"We have an educational purpose, so that they can gain wisdom and become more enlightened from now on. Do you have any cross talk skills?"
Gao Dongqiang put his hands on his hips: "No, who listens to cross talk and comes to receive education? Since we were young, we have received education from our parents, elders, and teachers. When we enter society, we also receive education from supervisors, bosses, and leaders. .
People just want to listen to a cross talk show and have fun. What education is there? Is education in this society so lacking that we need to use cross talk to educate others? "
His righteous speech aroused applause from the audience.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang agreed that the most basic aspect of crosstalk is to make people laugh, and it is enough for crosstalk actors to do this.
As for what people can understand and learn from your cross talk, that is their own experience. You can have a subtle influence and persuade others, but you cannot forcefully impose your own views on others and force others to think that what you say is right.
"You have a loud voice and you are right, but you can't underestimate us liars. We liars are also knowledgeable!"
"Is there any knowledge in this thing?"
Qi Long started talking. These were some news materials he found from the anti-fraud APP.
First of all, it is very important to select a target. If you blindly deceive people, you may not be able to deceive them. The first step in selecting a target is to look at the avatar.
If it is an avatar of flowers and plants with colorful word art, it is most likely that it is an old person with a lot of pension funds and a relatively low awareness of online fraud prevention, so it is easy to be deceived.
Then there are the selfies. Those who take solo selfies are usually those who are relatively confident in their looks but have not yet been in love. They pretend to be considerate and warm-hearted men and intimate girls, and it is easy to defraud money.
“Some people believe you even if you spend a lot of money to ask for a child!”
Gao Dongqiang hurriedly asked: "Tell me, what kind of avatar is not easy to be deceived?"
"Do you know what kind of avatar is the hardest to deceive?"
"What!"
"Those who use two-dimensional cartoon characters are poor, have too many things to do, and are not worth killing pigs!"
Gao Dongqiang: "I'm offended, but that's not right. Ah Cong, a rich second generation, he is very rich, and he also has a cartoon avatar!"
Qi Long looked at him with disdain: "Hey, Gang Jing, look at it, you don't understand our liar business, and you can't do it."
"I didn't want to do it either."
"In the era of big data, of course, we must focus on accurately targeting the target audience. If we search for a needle in a haystack for one or two special cases, I am afraid that I will have already starved to death before opening."
"You are very knowledgeable!"
"Of course. Let me tell you, after confirming the avatar, ask around for occupations. Some occupations will be difficult for you to deceive."
Qi Long started to give an example. The host would correct the liars' Mandarin and make them speak more standard Mandarin.
"I said: You don't want us to come here. He will correct you. You don't know the difference. Come and read with me, red carp, green carp and donkey."
"Have you learned it?"
"I was angry at that time. Do you want to go to jail and fail the exam? He said again, you don't distinguish between s and sh. Come and say to me, there are forty-four dead persimmon trees in front of the mountain."
"This person is a good teacher!"
Qi Long was filled with grief and anger, and clapped his hands: "You think it's easy for me, but I lied to someone and had to learn Mandarin. It's so hateful!"
"You deserve this, and you feel aggrieved by being a liar?"
Qi Long was scolded and stood up on the spot, pointing at Gao Dongqiang: "There is another thing, crosstalk actors like you can't cheat!"
"Why?"
"He's always talking about trains. Last time I called a guy named Guo Qilin. I told him that you made a large amount of purchases abroad. He said that he didn't go abroad. Only his father went abroad. I'm wondering, that might be your father. After spending money, he immediately told me a story, saying that his father didn’t know how to spend money!”
"What story?"
Qi Long slowly said, "Watching Scrooge" was lying on the bed before, and he first said that Guo Degang and his family used up their sesame oil in a year, and they still had three or two or five more burdens.
Then he said that only when Guo Degang went out, his son and his disciples' family could have something good to eat, and then drove the old man back to clean up quickly, so that the old man would not find out.
"One time, his father came back early, and the family was scared to death. Guo Qilin cleverly threw a handful of soybeans at the edge of the village and turned around to tell everyone to eat quietly. Guo Degang squatted down and picked them up one by one, waiting for him After picking it up, I finished eating it early!
And to what extent does his father save? Before he died, he was asked not to bury it, but to chop up the meat and sell it in the market, and he could make another profit! "
Gao Dong pulled him forcefully: "Wait a moment. Didn't you say that his father went abroad?"
"Yes, I realized something was wrong at the time. Are you making fun of me? What is my work target? Do you have time to listen to your chat? I was anxious at that time. Where did your father go abroad after he died?"
"What did he say?" Dong Qiang was curious.
"He said foreigners bought his father's meat."
"Hey! Guo Qilin, are you selling your meat abroad?"
Qi Long continued to accuse: "Another time, I called Zhang Helun and lied to him. I said that your son was in my hands."
"What did he say?"
"He said his son just died in his hands!"
"Hey, that dead father, this dead son?"
"Yes, Zhang Helun said his son is also named Guo Degang!"
"This guy is getting smaller and smaller."
"I heard that his son died, so I said he should be comforted (a little bit of conscience, not much), and I said I would express my condolences."
"He said, it's okay. I'm going to wash my hands right now. Oops, it's sticky."
"This son is either dead or not alive!"
(End of chapter)