Chapter 181 Crosstalk: "Dancer"
The dance that Qi Long performed with Luo Zhiqiang at the concert was posted online. Netizens commented: "There is a sense of beauty that the limbs have just been domesticated."
Interestingly, this comment was also used by Dongqiang on the cross talk stage later.
The job they performed was called "Dancer". This was a bragging job. They joked that they were dancers and had performed dance performances in many countries. They invited him to dance in a flattering manner, but in the end he danced nothing. In the end, Ask, the dance is not a dance, but a master dance.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang adapted this traditional dance, not only bragging about how they are treated in foreign countries, but also adding elements of being able to learn multiple dance types.
"Gao Dongqiang who talks about cross talk!"
"right!"
"Your cross talk is good, but your figure is not good enough. I will give you some pointers and you will become better!" Qi Long said arrogantly.
Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Who are you? You're still giving me advice?"
"I, don't you know me? I'm a dancer!" As he said that, he did two dance moves from "Jing Wu Men".
"You look like your limbs have just been tamed. Are you still a dancer?"
Everyone who pays attention to Qi Long knows this hot meme, which caused the audience to burst into laughter after Dong emphasized it.
"What I just danced was hip-hop, which I'm not good at. Hip-hop is a street performance. Dancers like us are particular about the place where we perform. We perform in the yellow hall!" Qi Long explained.
Dong Qiang was confused: "Yellow hall? Are you doing that crazy donkey show?"
"Are you a crazy donkey? Haven't you heard of the Yellow Hall? There are many famous musicians and dancers dancing in the Yellow Hall in Vienna!"
"That's the Golden Hall!"
"Golden yellow, golden yellow, they're all about the same. It's nice there. It's decorated magnificently, like a palace!"
"Please introduce me."
Qi Long began to describe it in a decent way. It had a high ceiling and was covered with mosaic tiles. Looking at it gave people a refreshing feeling.
"Who feels happy when they see the mosaic?" Dong Qiang's soul complained.
"The mosaic tiles are not mosaics, they are very expensive. Above the hall, there is a huge crystal chandelier hanging, illuminating the hall with splendor and splendor. The service staff are also very enthusiastic. I came over as soon as I entered: Brother, how many are there? I said I One person, the waiter shouted: Please come in, please!”
"Bathhouse?"
"No, no, they use a foreign language and call them Zhantemenwan."
"Can't you translate it as a gentleman? The male guest went to take a bath with me!"
"Yes, yes, yes, I will translate the question, and then you can enter the venue. There must be a security check before entering the venue. Everyone inside is either rich or expensive. If you bring a knife or a gun, you will not be able to touch it if you turn around. It’s all international news!”
Dong Qiang stopped him: "What kind of words are you using? What do you mean you can't figure it out?"
"Wouldn't it be impossible to touch a person's head when it falls to the ground? Wouldn't being shot in the chest open up his mind?"
Gao Dongqiang was disgusted: "What a hell joke are you talking about? According to you, Louis XVI is confused. Then he was so open-minded when he was single-handedly killed by the number one gunman some time ago?"
"Yes! For safety's sake, we don't want anyone with mortars, heavy machine guns, or Italian cannons to sneak in."
"Can you sneak in?"
The audience laughed non-stop for each unexpected burden. The first burden was just happy, and the next burden was happy again
Qi Long said that the inspection in the golden hall was very detailed, and the hats and scarves were taken off. The watch was taken off, the mask was taken off, the coat was taken off, and the suit was taken off
As he talked, he took off his whole body.
"Do you have to take off all your clothes for an examination?"
"No, the security level is strict. After taking off my clothes, the staff pointed to the cabinet next to me: Put your clothes in there, go in!"
"Is it still a bathhouse?"
"Put on that dance costume and go in and perform!"
"Oh, what kind of dances do you perform?"
This is the new joke added by Qi Long in the cross talk. He claims that he can dance in many kinds of dances and demonstrates how to dance live. For example, at Luo Zhiqiang’s concert, he performed how Sha Matt dances. In fact, this cross talk is work inside.
Because this dance had just been broadcast on the Internet two days ago, everyone knew that after discussing it, the two decided to do it.
As soon as Qi Long talked about the aristocratic dance, Dong Qiang asked him: "You are not talking about the aristocrats of the Buried Love Family, are you?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Qi Long looked at Dong Qiang with an unexpected look on his face. Dong Qiang was still proud: "Who can't do this? He looked at people with his nose, put his hands in his pockets, started to jump around, and when he took his hands out, he threw a lot of flour."
While he was still demonstrating, everyone looked at Qi Long, who was a little overwhelmed by Dong Qiang's work, and had different experiences. This is how different methods deal with the same baggage and achieve different effects.
"Wrong!" Qi Long reacted and waved his hand: "You are not authentic."
"Um?"
"What I took out of my pocket was not flour, but cement! We meet at the entrance of the village. We bring our own cement. Have you heard of it?"
Throwing away the burden and regaining the initiative, Qi Long talked about other dances. He also knew other dances. For example: Latin dance!
Twisting your waist three times is the basic movement of Latin dance, but it does not have the soul of Latin dance. If you want to have the soul of Latin dance: you have to find a spicy feeling!
After saying that, he took out a chili pepper from his pocket, took a bite on the spot, and then breathed loudly in his mouth, as if he had eaten a chili pepper. He also licked his lips and stuck out his tongue, alluringly. With his eyes and twist of waist, this soul comes out.
The unexpected "soul of Latin dance" made the audience applaud. Even Dong Qiang, who had watched Qi Long's performance while rehearsing in the audience, burst into laughter when he saw Qi Long twisting his waist and breathing so hard on the stage and turned his back. happy.
After a moment, he turned around and said, "According to you, is Latin slop spicy?"
"Yes, yes, it should be spicy, but foreigners don't pay attention to the intonation when speaking, so they pronounce it Latin. It's not enough to be spicy, you have to be so spicy that your whole body is allergic and you scratch it everywhere!"
When he said this, Qi Long was still pretending to be spicy. In fact, the chili pepper was not spicy at all. He is not a person who can eat spicy food. If he really eats spicy chili peppers, it will be spicy for a long time, and his performance will be affected later. , so it’s all about acting! Qi Long started to show again, this time he added hand movements and began to tickle all over his body, making everyone laugh again!
"Of course, everyone knows that Latin dance is performed by two people. You can't just scratch yourself, you have to help your partner scratch it." After saying this, he stretched out his hand to Dong Qiang.
Dongqiang waved his hands to drive him away: "Go, go, I'm not allergic!"
Qi Long suddenly stopped and looked at him. Dong Qiang was offended by his look, and he also looked at himself and raised his head: "What's wrong?"
"You have a talent for modern dance!"
"ah?"
"That move you just made!" Qi Long imitated Dong Qiang's move of flapping his hands to keep people away from him: "Is it a modern dance move?"
“What does this have to do with modern dance?”
"Don't you understand?"
"don't know!"
"What I don't understand is modern dance. I've concluded that modern dance is actually a process of getting rid of the four pests. First, swat the mosquitoes, then scratch them, then crush the cockroaches until they die. When you see the mice start running away, you finally get rid of the flies!"
"What's this mess?"
Qi Long saw that he didn't understand, so he started to demonstrate. He asked the sound teacher to play a modern and soothing song, and then started to dance.
He stared diagonally upward, as if there was something there, then suddenly slapped himself, hit his shoulder again, and started scratching.
"Oh, this is to fight mosquitoes," Dong Qiang explained at the side.
After completing this set of actions, Qi Long turned his head in a circle, looked at the ground, opened his mouth slightly to express surprise, and rushed forward, pressing his elbows on the floor and rubbing against it.
"Crush the cockroach?"
When he turned his head, he was surprised again. He stood up and started running slowly around the field.
"Is this hiding from mice?"
Looking back, he breathed a sigh of relief and started waving his hands in the air.
"Catch the flies!"
Finally, Qi Long hugged himself and spread his hands, and the music just ended.
The audience cheered, laughed and cheered.
Qi Long asked Dong Qiang if he wanted to learn modern dance. After training by himself, his figure became better. Dong Qiang rejected him without hesitation: "I want to learn how to get rid of the four evils with you? If you don't want to learn, you won't learn!"
"What do you think of the ballroom dancing?"
Dong Qiang was interested when he heard it: "Do you need to teach ballroom dancing? I've been able to do it since I was a child!"
The two got into the job. This job was played by Dong Qiang as a male, and he invited Qi Long, who played a female, to dance ballroom dancing together.
Qi Long sat on the sofa at first.
But there is no sofa on the stage, which reflects the skills of the cross talk actors. There is no stool to show the appearance of sitting on the stool, which is similar to Zama Step, but even more difficult than Zama Step because the legs are not at both sides. It is so easy to exert force from the side to the front, but it is straight in front of the body, and the whole center of gravity is at the back.
As soon as he made this movement, he was as stable as if he were sitting on a chair, and the audience immediately exclaimed in amazement.
Even Qi Long's back can be leaned back, as if there is a sofa backrest. This is the true skill of a crosstalk actor, and few of his nephews can do it.
Dong Qiang stepped forward, bent slightly, and stretched out his hand: "Miss!"
"Who are you talking about, Miss? Isn't it a curse?"
"No, I'm inviting people. How about eldest sister? Is eldest sister okay?"
"You are the eldest sister, am I that old?"
"No, then how should I call you?" Dong Qiang jumped out of the figure and asked with his hands on his hips.
Qi Long was proud: "If you want to call me, princess, please dance if you say princess."
"That's disgusting."
Holding back his nausea, Dong Qiang said, "Princess, please dance." Qi Long stretched out his hand, and then kept walking in a squatting position, being led by Dong Qiang towards the center of the stage.
Dong Qiang: "Monkey?"
Qi Long squatted like a circus monkey, scratched his face, and walked around the arena, making the audience laugh.
Dong Qiang told him that he had to stand up after holding hands.
This time Qi Long stood up and walked to the middle of the stage. Dong Qiang was still jumping up and down, but Qi Long had already started dancing randomly and mumbling in his mouth.
Dongqiang: "Are you dancing?"
"I am a great dancer!"
"Fuck you!"
Qi Long took off the towel wrapped by the woman playing the role, and the two bowed to the audience together. At this point, the cross talk ended!
I would like to recommend this work of Young Ma Ye, called "Bragging". The part where I played the monkey entertained me for several days. I went back to watch it in order to write this cross talk, and it still made me laugh, haha
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(End of chapter)