Chapter 195 When a teacher meets a admirer
Anyone who has experienced the non-mainstream period of Penguin chat software, there is more or less a black history in the space and talk that seems embarrassing now, and it will be difficult for them to Believe it or not, what did I think at the time?
Qi Long and Dong Qiang's mention also brought back everyone's memories.
Of course, the memories about Penguin chat software are not only these, but also: celebrity friends!
“At that time, in the space, you could often see the diaries and chats posted by someone, with the QQ number of the celebrity written in it. You could add He Ling to this one and Zhou Juelun to that one. Yes, I recorded a program with Teacher He some time ago, and I found out that he doesn’t have Penguin chat software at all!”
Then there are the rumors inside that are easily believed by simple netizens.
For example: Today is the birthday of the daughter of the CEO of which group or the daughter of a king. Just forward it and you can do whatever you want.
Today is a day when the sun is shining directly on the earth. Quickly forward people to turn off their computers today, otherwise what will happen.
Also: The most outrageous rumor is that the Penguin chat software, the one that hangs up and upgrades, the stars, the moon, and the sun, is rumored to be a mode designed by foreigners to consume our electricity. Don't hang up your level, you are following the rules of foreigners!
Qi Long said something, and the audience chuckled. It was a common memory shared by everyone when the Internet was just emerging. Even young people who have no memories will find it funny, because they think that no one will do this kind of thing. Believe it, it feels ridiculous that so many people believe it.
This was also what Qi Long had in mind when he wrote this cross talk. He hoped that even the audience who did not understand this section could understand it and have fun, rather than delineating the audience range.
The cross talk continued, saying that when students made mistakes during their school days, teachers had several methods to discipline students. The first was corporal punishment. If you were not serious in class, you would be asked to stand and listen to the class.
"This method of punishment works for most people, but it doesn't work for Dong Qiang!"
"I'm not afraid of getting tired!"
"No, you forgot. When you stand up and stand behind the desk, it feels like you are home. It directly awakens your memory of admiration. The teacher is talking from above, and you are advocating next to you!"
"Oops, I really don't remember clearly!"
"I remember, the teacher was giving a lecture, and you were chatting with him in a low voice. He said that today we will talk about arithmetic sequences. When you heard this, you said: Hey, that's new!"
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Dong Qiang, What are you mumbling about? Do you know the arithmetic sequence?
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Oops, I really don’t know this, please tell me! -
I'm not going to talk about it now, why are you disturbing everyone? You're just wasting one minute for one person, but for fifty people, that's fifty minutes!
Qi Long plays two roles in this one. When he plays the teacher, he has a serious face, and when he plays Dong Qiang, he has a cute face.
Speaking of wasting time, it resonated with many viewers. Teachers across the country must have said this, right?
Qi Long turned around and imitated Dong Qiang: Oh, this is a math problem! -
Shut up, you are not allowed to talk in class!
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Your mouth has been moving so fast these days. Are you eating? -
Get out of here! -
Fuck you!
The audience in the small theater laughed loudly, Dongqiang said: "The gene for admiration has awakened!"
"The key teacher is not burdened with what he said, but you still blamed him. Since then, the school has made a separate school rule because of you!"
"What school rules?"
"No compliments are allowed in class!"
Dong Qiang waved his hand: "No, just don't let me stand up!"
The first punishment method is useless to Dongqiang, and there is another punishment method: writing a check.
"And the word count required for his examination was a thousand words, and some were longer. Dong Qiang was speaking in class, and the examination required three thousand words. How to write this? Hey, he thought of a good idea."
"What's the idea?"
"Put your cross talk skills under examination. Teacher, I'm sorry. Just think of me as a reckless person. Oh no, I don't deserve to be a reckless person. There was a reckless person in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty."
"Hit the mouth on the back?" Dong Qiang was surprised.
The book "Reckless Man" is too long. Qi Long did not finish memorizing it. He memorized a little bit and continued to read and check: "Oh, I actually contradicted the teacher. I am not a human being. No, I am not called a human being. I feel I don't deserve it. I think there was a man in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty who was not a human being. I am talking about Cao Cao. I am not a human being. I am a dog. No, I am not even as good as a dog. I can see Buzhou in the south, Luzhou in the north, and Shenzhou in the east. , Xiniu Hezhou."
This inspiration naturally came out a year ago when Deyun Dou Xiaoshe and Guo Degang improvised on eight screens. The audience could listen to it thoroughly and enjoy the music at the same time.
Seeing Qi Long constantly distinguishing characters with facial features and speaking fluently, the audience cheered.
After finishing speaking, Dong Qiang asked: "What did the teacher say after seeing my examination?"
"Tell me to call your parents! This is the most severe punishment. Dongqiang feels guilty. His father is strict with him. He really beats him when he makes a mistake. He doesn't dare to call his parents, so he thought of a way. I went to the roadside and hired an old man in his seventies who played chess to come to school and be his parent! "
"Is the actor hired here too old?"
"The teacher was shocked when he saw your parents: Is this your parent?"
"I can see the problem at a glance!"
"It's my parents. Why don't you want my father to have children all the time?" "What did the teacher say?"
"The teacher pulled the actor you invited aside. Various expressions such as shock, confusion, doubt, complaint, and anger appeared on his face. After struggling for a long time, the teacher slowly said: Dad , do you have such a big illegitimate child outside?"
"I invited the teacher's father here?" Dong Qiang exclaimed.
The two brothers took a step back and bowed in thanks.
The real work of this job is "Eight Fan Screens" which has been heard by the audience. It is basically the entry point for cross talk actors. As long as the cross talk actors are serious about cross talk, they can memorize it!
So the first job for many children is eight screens.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang don't often make these children work. Today, they adapted the structure of "Eight Screens" and put them in the examination, which is a different experience.
In fact, Qi Long's idea is to add more traditional cross talk work to this cross talk, and tell the story of a crosstalk actor who made his teachers and classmates dumbfounded in high school through his cross talk work.
At present, this work is only in its initial stage, with only two editions: Peng Ke and "Eight Fan Screens". In the future, there may be more designs that incorporate cross talk work into the story!
This job is not long, and as an actor who has earned a living in a small theater, he will definitely have to go against the scene. This time, Qi Long expanded the previous allegro: the joke about Xiao Ming milking the cow.
It was about Dongqiang going abroad to play in Europe and came across a live milking activity. He also participated and milked a little bit for a long time.
The staff pulled him away in embarrassment and told him: "You are a bull!"
This bull can be used as a base, but Dong Qiang noticed that there was not enough time, so he did not take it: "Fuck you."
Instead: "Can't I tell a bull from a cow?"
Qi Long knew it as soon as he heard it. Dong Qiang, who looked at his watch, realized that there was not enough time yet. It didn't matter. He could continue talking.
"Yes, you were so impatient at the time that you thought no, I have to study and spend a lot of money to buy a cow and go back to study the difference between male and female!"
"Do you still need to study this thing?"
"Yes, the ranch is in trouble. You want more cows here and fewer bulls. They are all bred and cannot be sold! You got angry and said you want one male and one female."
"I'm so stubborn!"
"Someone came up with an idea. There is a cow that has just given birth to a calf. The baby is a bull. You buy the mother and the baby together. When the calf grows up, won't you be able to study the characteristics of the male cow? "
"That's a good move!"
Dong Qiang was leading two cows home, but on the way he met that European gangster who didn't wash his hands. His hands were all black. When he saw that he was leading two cows, he immediately cut them off.
He bought it with money and couldn't bear to let it go. He kept holding on to it.
Many people from the gang who didn't wash their hands came and gave Dong Qiang a good beating, but Dong Qiang was still tough and didn't fall down after being beaten for two hours.
"Am I so powerful?"
"They were tied to the telegraph poles. They were angry and said that you were not cooperating, so they took off all your clothes and pants. In the end, one of them was kind and left the calf for you, and the rest of your valuables , everything he was wearing, and the big cow he bought at a high price were all taken away!”
"How miserable!"
"It wasn't until the next morning that someone found you, called the police and rescued you. The police covered you with clothes and shouted very guiltily: I'm sorry, we are late! You were put down and you couldn't stand still! "
"No, I've been tied up all night!"
"But you are still so angry that you slap that little calf with your hands!"
Dong Qiang didn't understand: "Why should I hit it?"
"I'm not your mother!" Qi Long shouted while slapping his hands.
Dong Qiang pushed him: "Fuck you!"
The scene was stunned for three seconds, and then burst into laughter. Amidst the applause, Qi Long and Dong Qiang bowed and left the stage, ending the main and negative performances in the small theater!
(End of this chapter)