Chapter 5053 (Five Thousand and Fifty Three) Indulgence
“Then have you escaped that kind of pain?” the gray-handed man asked.
"No at first, but later I broke away..." the man said.
"How did you escape?" The man with gray hands asked again
The man replied: "I just told myself... I was wrong just now. The feeling of the spring sun shining on people... is illusory... I I shouldn't be intoxicated... I shouldn't be nostalgic. I shouldn't be in the situation I was in before. "
The gray-handed man said: "But, if you had never been intoxicated and nostalgic before, wouldn't you have made that decision?"
"Which decision?" the man asked, "the decision not to commit suicide?"
The man with gray hands said, "Yes, that's what I'm talking about."
The man added: "Oh, you are right...if...if I had not been intoxicated and nostalgic before, then I...then I would not have made the decision not to commit suicide...then I will definitely...not long after... …is no longer alive.”
The man with gray hands said: "If that's the case, then why do you think you are wrong? If there was not the 'wrong' you think, then you would not survive."
The man said: "It's true, but...but that's what I thought at the time, that is...after I made sure that I didn't commit suicide, I would think that...I was wrong before. Because...I thought that I The nostalgia and immersion before seemed to really kill my will... make me... make me feel less cruel... this... this impression is obviously not good for me, but no matter what, that That kind of...that impression has been left in my heart, until...I still remember it until now...It is precisely because I remember that when you asked me something, I was able to...say it to you like this, otherwise , I can’t even answer what the situation was like at that time.”
The man with gray hands said: "Although that period of nostalgia and intoxication kept you alive, you still think it was your fault? You are not grateful for the period of nostalgia and intoxication that saved your life?"
"Without thanks... I... won't be grateful for that kind of thing." The man said, "I shouldn't be like that. I don't want my will to be weakened by the situation at that time."
The man with gray hands said: "How did you do it?" "I walked quickly and walked to a shady place... where I no longer felt the sunshine of spring." The man said, "Other than that, I I also have to tell myself... those things that have passed, since I was wrong, I don't want to... don't take that illusory thing seriously, never take it seriously, so I... I walk faster and faster, hoping to be able to do it soon. ...Get far away from the grassland where I was nostalgic and intoxicated. "
"Are you hiding again?" the man with gray hands asked, "hiding like you usually do to prevent the spring sun from shining on you?"
The man said: "Yes. I even hid very...very deliberately."
The man with gray hands asked again: "But it's impossible to have a place that can block the sun everywhere, right?"
"Yeah...impossible." The man replied.
"Then you will definitely be illuminated by the spring sun again along the way." The gray-handed man said.
"That's right." The man said, "The sun hung in the sky for a long time that day... There were even very few clouds... The clouds couldn't cover the sun."
The man with gray hands asked: "Then how can you avoid it?"
(End of chapter)