Chapter 5054 (Five Thousand and Fifty-Four) Harm Me
"I...I can only avoid it with my heart." The man said.
"Careful?" asked the man with gray hands, "how did you do it?"
"Before I was illuminated by the spring sun again, I... told myself something over and over again." The person said, "I also... also forced myself to forget... the feeling when I was nostalgic and intoxicated before. I …I should forget.”
"What did you tell yourself?" asked the man with gray hands.
"It's just... that's... those are all illusions and fake. How could I... be like that? I shouldn't... no, I shouldn't... I will never be in that situation again." That person answer.
"Don't you want to forget the feeling of being nostalgic and intoxicated before?" The man with gray hands asked.
"Yes." The man replied.
"You tell yourself that those are all illusions. At this time, you always know in your heart that what you are telling yourself is illusion, right?" asked the gray-handed man.
"Of course I know." The man said.
"In that case, doesn't it mean that every time you tell yourself this, it actually deepens your previous impression?" asked the gray-handed man.
"Maybe... maybe," the man said.
"You didn't realize this problem at the time?" the gray-handed man asked.
"Not aware of it at all," the man replied.
"So it's not easy for you to forget, right?" The gray-handed man asked again.
"Yes, it's not easy... I haven't forgotten it at all. If it were easy... I wouldn't be able to tell you like I did just now... today," the man said. The man with gray hands asked: "But you have really tried hard to forget?"
"Yes." The man said, "I have worked hard and kept telling myself...I...did something wrong before. If I did something wrong, I did something wrong. I will never...happen again. I I even told myself over and over again that being illuminated by the spring sunshine was... a self-destructive thing. Losing my will would only harm me. "
The man with gray hands asked: "Does this work for you?"
"Yes." The man said.
"You later walked to a place where the spring sun can shine, right?" the gray-handed man asked.
"Yes...it's a matter of time and night," the man said. "After all, the sun shines on things...it shines here and there. If you want to avoid being illuminated by the spring sun, then...then I won't go out."
The man with gray hands asked again: "What do you think when you come to a place where the spring sun shines again?"
"I was thinking...I'm going to find that person who knows magic. I'm looking for someone...On this journey, I can't let my mind wander at all. The spring sun shines on people, giving people illusions...it's harmful to people. ..." the man said.
The man with gray hands asked: "Can you convince yourself like this?"
"Yes." The man said, "Because that's what I thought before... I just didn't think that being illuminated by the spring sun was a good thing. The desire to... want to be illuminated by the spring sun, They are all twisted thoughts, and they should not be thought of by me at all. I...I think those things are wrong to begin with...Don't think about it anymore, don't hurt yourself. "
"That's it, have you convinced yourself?" the gray-handed man asked.
"That's right..." the man said, "Anyway, I'd rather avoid being exposed to the spring sunshine."
(End of chapter)