Lin Feng: "To put it more clearly, we will fight against our brain and our physiology countless times in our lives,
Because our body has a profit-seeking instinct,
For example, our bodies, if we want to eat better, dress better, and be comfortable, we need to be comfortable in whatever way we want,
These are all instincts.
But people must not follow instinct,
This is what distinguishes us humans from other creatures.
Because people are educated.
It can go against our primitive instincts and our desires.
Of course,
That doesn't mean you can't take a nap. If you hold it in for a long time, you'll easily become perverted.
So you can take a nap,
But do it in moderation.
Learn to control yourself instead of being driven by desires.
Okay,
That’s it for this topic.
When I started doing live streaming, I never thought I would be here to handle this for you. ”
Lin Feng smiled and shook his head.
Next one.
Ding~
"Hello, Military Advisor."
It's a girl.
Lin Feng: "Hello, do you have any questions?"
Woman: "I want to ask about some family issues. Recently, a relative of mine had a child. He jumped into a river at the age of 21 and is gone.
Then I have a child myself, and I have been quite anxious recently about how to educate the child to make him stronger mentally. ”
Lin Feng sighed, waved his hand and said: "Sister-in-law, there is no such thing as being strong or not.
I always believe that people will not suddenly have problems,
Who the hell would commit suicide all of a sudden?
We say survival is instinct, can you understand?
Ants still live in vain, so what about humans?
I don’t know if you can understand that it can tolerate everything,
It doesn't matter if you break it off like this, it will bounce back.
But if you keep breaking it off, one day it will break.
You said that the child who jumped into the river was probably the result of long-term pressure, long-term denial, and long-term expectations from his parents, which made him unable to breathe.
So I don’t think there is any issue of teaching or not educating children. I have always told you that love and respect are the prerequisites.
Put yourself in your child's perspective and don't expect too much from him. We parents demand more from ourselves.
For example, if I want a good material foundation, I don’t want to mention raising my children. I want my children to achieve great achievements to satisfy my vanity.
Parents have to work hard on their own.
No matter whether a child is good or not, what he will do in the future, or whether he does well outside, he will always be his father's treasure.
After you come home, your father will always be able to cook the food you like to eat and cook.
Dad will still approve you, but dad will not deny you.
Can you understand?
If there are too many blows and too many denials, it will be painful.
Many times the pain is not caused by the outside world. For example, if I make money outside and my boss scolds me, I can understand it.
It’s all about making money anyway, so forget it.
I can understand when customers scold me.
But after I went back, I couldn't understand the rejection from my parents. Why do you still deny me after I have worked so hard?
Can you understand?
Negativity from parents is fatal.
Denial from family members is fatal.
Negativity from the other half is fatal.
Negation from the people you care about is fatal.
Not to mention boys, even girls are the same.
You may have external bosses quarreling with you, customers making things difficult for you, and you may feel a little aggrieved at most.
But when you go back and your husband says, what does it matter?
Can't you stand even a little bit of anger?
Damn, the sky is falling.
So don’t do this at home most of the time,
You must understand that home is a harbor, not a post station or a spur point,
The home is a place to replenish energy for children.
No matter whether he is doing well or bad outside, there is love at home.
Can you understand? ”
. . . . . . .
On the barrage.
"I jumped into the river at the age of 21... (horror)."
"Those who wish to die should have no strength at all in their hearts (crying)."
"Brother is right, ants still live in vain, no one can suddenly think about it (hey)."
"Three feet of ice does not freeze in a day."
"My mother said that being a waiter is like a dead slave."
"This makes me want to cry (heartache)."
"No matter whether the child is excellent or not, or whether he does well outside, he will always be dad's baby. When you come home, dad will always be able to cook the food you like (I really cried to death)."
"Big brother's pattern is indeed high (thumbs up)."
"No matter how the children are doing outside, there will be love at home and everyone can encourage each other."
mutual encouragement!
. . . . . . .
Girl: "For example, he jumped into the river for a reason. His family has a repressive education, and parents and children are not close to each other. But my son is not like this. I educate my son in an encouraging way. For example, I don’t have one either.”
Hey, hey,
Stop, stop, stop!
Lin Feng waved his hand and interrupted: "You just asked me about education. I have already said it.
You don’t need to talk about the repressive education, and then highlight yourself,
As long as you can do it to your child, don’t discuss him anymore,
Do you understand?
The person has passed away, and the misfortune he suffered is pitiful enough, almost enough. ”
. . . . . .
On the barrage.
"The person has passed away, and the misfortune he suffered is pitiful. My God, the military advisor is so warm."
"Yeah, you should be respectful after people have passed away (hey)."
"Are you looking for a sense of superiority? This eldest sister (angry)."
"The dead are great (flowers)."
Down!
. . . . .
Woman: “I’m not trying to highlight myself, I just want to ask if it’s okay to educate my children this way, because my children go to kindergarten,
He has been bullied recently,
The kid on the other side was also from our community, so I bullied him several times.
Then I kept encouraging him and guiding him. I said I was bullied and I wanted to fight back.
In fact, what I have always advocated is that he should not fight back, but others will bully him again and again. ”
Lin Feng laughed: "You fight back when you are bullied. You are really encouraging education.
Co-authoring was just encouragement, but no real work was done.
You are pretty cool too. ”
? ?
The woman looked confused.
Lin Feng: "If you throw a problem to a kindergarten child, will he know how to deal with it?
There is also a guardian among the guardians.
Do you understand that you have the responsibility and obligation to protect him?
When someone bullies your child, and you know that the child cannot be beaten, you have to ask him to fight back?
I couldn't beat him in the first place, but I'll have to get beaten next time I go there.
I've already said this.
You, like those of us who have actually encountered bullying, know it, just like those yellow-haired gangsters outside school,
You obviously can't beat the other person, but your mother said you fight back, otherwise I'll come back today and beat you up.
The question is, if you fight back, can you survive?
You'll just get another beating.
So parents should step forward at this time and don’t push the problem only to their children,
The child came to you for help when he couldn't solve the problem. Don't throw the problem back to the child and ask him to fight back.
He can fight it, he has already fought it.
You have such a mean character like mine. If I could beat him back then, how dare he blackmail me?
If he dared to mess with me, I would show him on the spot what it means to be a man born in heaven and earth, how can he live in depression for a long time under human beings.
My fist is as big as a sandbag and I can blow your dog's head off.
But what can I do if the other person is stronger than me?
All I can say is: Brother, don’t hit me.
I gave you all the money on my own initiative. ”
. . . . . .
On the barrage.
"The child couldn't fight before asking you for help, and you let the child fight back on his own? (Niubi)."
“Why don’t you fight back when you encounter a bigger person (grin).” “You will only get beaten harder (face covering).
"Take a few younger brothers and continue beating (raise eyebrows)."
Damn it!
Too bad.
"How can a man live in such depression for a long time and look at my sandbag-like fists (dog heads)."
"Brother, don't hit me, I'll give you the money (sunglasses)."
"You have to be the eldest brother, able to bend and stretch (Wang Chai)."
Ha ha ha ha.
. . . . . . .
Raymond Lam: But if it is a normal quarrel between two people, a normal push, a conflict between children is normal, and it is just a one-time occurrence, then it is not called bullying.
But it was targeted at my child many times,
No matter which child touches his hand, I will scare you all at once,
If you want your child to stand upright, you have to give him a test first.
Give it a try in the kindergarten.
Then other parents have to warn their children to stay away from their children and not to bully their children,
His parents are both crazy dogs and difficult to negotiate.
This way other children will also know that your child is not easy to bully.
Don't look at the child as a child. In the final analysis, human nature is all about bullying the weak and fearing the strong.
Children also know whose parents don't care about things. If they bully them, their parents won't deal with it. Then they will bully your children from now on.
As long as your parents can make a difference,
You are a child, I can't target you, I will go to your parents.
I must ask your whole family to publicly apologize to my child in class.
Not apologizing, right?
Then your parents don’t have an employer, so they go to your employer and say that your child bullies his classmates and your parents don’t care.
Until you are scared! ”
. . . . . . .
On the barrage.
“Parents give their children a sample first, and then the children will learn (that’s really good).”
"His parents are crazy dogs and it's hard to negotiate hahahaha."
"When I was a child, I had a father who was like a mad dog (laughing)."
"I was kicked in the stomach when I was in junior high school. My dad came directly to the door and pinched his dad's neck. Later, when he saw me, he had to lower his head and walk around (hehe)."
"Well done to your dad!"
"When I was a child, I was a mad dog. People of all ages and genders said that I was not easy to mess with (slightly)."
envious!
"I am also a mad dog, because my mother said to study like a mad dog (grin)."
You. .
Hahahahaha.
. . . . . . .
Woman: "Then I want to know how to train children to solve problems."
Lin Feng: "You don't need to train your children. These things can be solved when they grow up. Now at the kindergarten stage, they just need your parents to help them deal with them. Don't always push the problems to your children."
Woman: "But when I asked him to fight back, he would say that he was reluctant. Even if others bullied him many times, he might be afraid of being beaten as you said, but I think on the other hand, he has a flattering personality, and plus A little too kind.”
Stop it!
Lin Feng knocked on the blackboard and said: "Don't label your children. Why are you parents always like this?
Children are growing and they will change. They may have had a pleasing personality when they were young, but this personality is not necessarily bad.
A pleaser type, good at observing people's words and emotions, this kind of person will be very popular in the bar,
Knowing that the leader may not be driving or having sex, I should drink less or stop drinking today, right? I will send the leader back, right?
On the contrary, it is a good thing.
I say again, don’t label your child, he will change when he grows up.
The problem now is that your parents should help him deal with the problem and don't throw the problem to the child again. I will tell you again
The first is to let the children learn Sanda, Taekwondo and the like.
It doesn’t matter whether the child is kind or whatever, don’t try to shape the child’s character.
There's nothing wrong with him,
It's you as a parent who failed to protect his kindness. This is your biggest problem.
What is kind or not? I was also very timid when I was a child.
When faced with classmates who are stronger than me, I would lie to my parents and tell them that they might be robbing us because they don’t have money.
In reality?
That's something I can't beat.
Damn it, I'll give it a try when I grow up.
Excessive kindness is only supported by your own uselessness.
If my dad were here, would you think I was kind or not?
If my old uncle were here, would you think I was kind or not?
Just comfort yourself. ”
. . . . . . .
On the barrage.
"I don't want to give up because I can't beat myself and I don't have the confidence."
"You're right. Being kind or not is just cowardice."
"My own uselessness is the only way to support my kindness. My brother is so transparent (thumbs up)."
"If my dad were here, would you think I was kind or not? (Dog Head)."
"Funny and true. Children are timid because they have no support."
"The key is that this sister-in-law can't listen and is still talking about the child's problems."
"Because this mother is confused."
Ordered.
. . . . . . .
Girl: "But there is another situation where two children live in the same community as us, and they know each other and are familiar with their parents. In fact, their parents are a bit unreasonable..."
Shut up you.
Lin Feng interrupted directly: "Then let your child be bullied.
You also say that other people’s parents are unreasonable. In the final analysis, you yourself don’t dare to argue with other people’s parents, so you let your children argue with them?
Also encouraging education.
Encourage your children to rush forward and hide behind.
You are really good.
Let me tell you, no one is unreasonable, everyone bullies the weak and fears the strong.
If you can't do it, forget it. Don't throw the problem to your child. The problem is not with your child, but with you.
It's your problem itself.
You adults can't solve adult problems, so you ask children to solve them. Are you talking nonsense?
The method has been given to you, it’s your problem if you can’t do it.
It's impossible for me to ask other people's parents to be reasonable. I can't change others.
Because it is you who is online and connected to the microphone, I can only ask you,
If you have the ability to solve the problem, then go and solve it. If you can't solve it, forget it. You deserve it. ”
After that,
Lin Feng kicked the woman off the mat.
Then he took a puff of cigarette and went to the live broadcast room and said: "So through this microphone, you can see why some children have been bullied, right?
The strength of this parent lies here.
I’ve already fucking mentioned this,
He also said, "My parents are relatively familiar with each other."
If someone is really close to you, their parents will definitely tell their children to stop bullying your children,
People will also take the initiative to restrain their children.
If they are really familiar with each other, they will definitely tell the child that he is the son of his father’s friend. How can you bully him? I can't hit him anymore.
If you say it twice, your child will become better and you will be able to become friends with your child in the future.
Why do you dare to bully me all the time?
It's because your parents simply look down on you.
At the dinner table, the whole family said that your child's parents are useless.
That's why children dare to bully your children.
I know the other parent is unreasonable. What’s wrong with being unreasonable?
It's okay to bully me, but it's not okay to bully my children.
My parents are unreasonable,
He won’t reason with you, so I’m going to reason with you? ?
funny!
I don’t like hearing what you say. What can I do if I kick you out?
Do you dare to scold me on the public screen?
Do you dare to post a video to blackmail me?
Coward! "(End of Chapter)