Chapter 643 Like a speeding subway
After going around in circles for so long, the problem finally returned to the original problem.
Su Chengyi can no longer remember what she was thinking when she first faced the question of "green plum or a drop from heaven".
But I must not have thought of a result, otherwise I wouldn't be in this situation now.
However, even if he were to return to that time point now, when it was still too late to make any choice, he would probably still make the same choice as before.
Because it’s too difficult, who can choose between Chu Qingmian and Chen Jinzhi?
Su Chengyi even began to wonder whether rebirth was luck for him, or a more innovative curse.
Watching the three of them fall into such a dead situation, the author hiding behind the scenes must be laughing very happily at this time.
Chu Qingmian's tearful questioning put Su Chengyi's conscience under mortal torture and was unable to give any answer.
But if he didn't say anything, she would be trapped in this problem for a long, long time.
"I know you won't believe it, but my feelings for you are true.
If not, I would not have let you know the truth until today, and I would not have been unable to find any solution for such a long time.
Chu Qingmian, you know me, and you know that I will not lie to you at this time. ”
Su Chengyi looked at her slightly red eyes and said word by word:
"I know you too. I know that if I told you the truth earlier, you would not have any entanglement with me, you would not hate me, and you would even wish me happiness."
"Then why don't you do that?"
Chu Qingmian looked back at him, tears filling her eyes, waiting for his answer.
He clearly knew that she would not pester him, and he clearly could have prevented her from ending up like this.
"Because I can't accept you leaving me."
Su Chengyi looked serious and spoke sincerely without any jokes.
"It is impossible for me to take the initiative to confess to you and let you leave me.
Today's incident was an unavoidable accident. Your safety overrides my feelings, so I have to let you know the truth.
I am indeed a bad scumbag, but I love you. Although it is a selfish and self-righteous love, it is not false at all. ”
As he finished speaking, Chu Qingmian's tears finally fell.
For the first time in her life, she had doubts about the word "love".
Ever since she vaguely realized what "like" and "love" meant, Chu Qingmian had never associated these words with anyone else.
She had liked Su Chengyi for so many years, and she didn't know when it started, but this liking naturally turned into love.
So, after all, no one taught her what correct love is.
She naively thought that love should be wholehearted, she couldn't bear to let the other person get hurt in the slightest, and she would only miss the other person at all times.
But the man in front of him kept saying he loved her, but he broke her heart into pieces as if nothing had happened.
So, maybe she really understood it wrong, but it’s not necessarily true. Will love cause harm in the first place?
Chu Qingmian thought blankly.
Su Chengyi was right, he did know her very well.
If this day came earlier, she would not allow herself to fall into such an embarrassing situation.
She will also be heartbroken beyond measure, cry, and be unable to come out for a long, long time.
But at least she won't hate him.
"You're right, because you know me, you know how to push me off the cliff."
Chu Qingmian lowered her head and murmured as if talking to herself.
Su Chengyi looked at the quilt in front of her that was smeared with tears, and suddenly thought of a long time ago, in the infirmary of No. 1 Middle School, when he slapped Hou Xiaohong with a dinner plate and was surrounded by his followers and beaten.
At that time, Chu Qingmian also cried like this.
Looking back, he still remembered the warmth of the tears that fell on his chest at that time.
However, the reason why he had such a fight at that time was because of Chen Jinzhi.
From this point of view, perhaps everything has already been revealed.
From the beginning, he faced a dead end.
To get to this point is entirely your own fault.
At this moment when the truth was revealed, Chu Qingmian's reaction was different from Su Chengyi's imagination.
I thought she would have an emotional breakdown and get as excited as she usually does when she occasionally loses her temper, but she didn't.
Apart from the tears that she couldn't stop crying, she could even be called calm.
Even Chen Jinzhi's emotional ups and downs were more intense than Chu Qingmian's, although Chen Jinzhi was the one who understood the truth earlier between the two of them.
However, the calmer she became, the higher Su Chengyi's heart hung, teetering on the edge of collapse.
This means that she has been completely disappointed and completely irreversible.
Chen Jinzhi also has the identity of Zhi Jinchen who is forcibly related to her. In addition, she is a public figure, so there will be no news about her.
But with Miss Chu's ability, if she didn't want to see him again, then there was really nothing he could do.
Some of the arrangements I made in my career before, such as joint planning and the like, are actually of little significance.
Because although Miss Chu is a competent and reliable boss, as long as the employees of the joint project are given sufficient welfare compensation, no one will complain about her decision.
From the outside, others may think that the person who is more difficult to redeem is Chen Jinzhi.
Because Miss Chu is always soft-hearted and easy to coax, she has a soft temper. Even if she is sad, she is like a tearful slime with no aggression.
Chen Jinzhi's character is quite rational and calm, and he has exquisite skills. He can't be deceived, and sugar-coated bullets are useless.
Comparing these two people, Miss Chu's side is of course easier to handle.
But Su Chengyi knew very well that if there was still a possibility of recovery in Shura Field, it was absolutely, absolutely, that the eldest lady would be more difficult to recover.
The two grew up in different environments. Chen Jinzhi had too few connections in the world. When he looked back, he could only be seen alone.
Chu Qingmian is different. She clearly knows how to love, and she truly has passion for everything in the world.
Since Miss Chu has the healthiest and most perfect personality in the world, she will certainly not allow herself to maintain such a very sick and absolutely unacceptable relationship.
Therefore, Su Chengyi will not ask for her forgiveness at this time.
He would rather she hate him than forgive him after she gives up completely.
Because that is the real life and death, and they both know this.
The smell of disinfectant in the ward makes breathing difficult.
There was obviously nothing in my stomach, but there was always a rolling and cramping pain.
My eyes also feel very tired, and my vision is blurry and out of focus.
Chu Qingmian lowered her head and was lost in thought. She felt that nothing was right and everything was extremely uncomfortable. Having just experienced the cruelest betrayal in her life, she could have done a lot of things.
It's like crying profusely, grabbing the other person's collar and asking why, ringing the bell to call the nurse over and asking her to stab this damn liar to death with a needle
However, Chu Qingmian blinked her eyes and said:
"You go."
After saying these three words, she paused and added inexplicably:
"I want to sleep. I feel uncomfortable. You can go out. I don't like injections. It's very annoying."
As she talked, she couldn't figure out what she was talking about.
Su Chengyi obviously didn't understand what she was talking about. He just looked at her with eyes like a pool of ink and didn't answer a word.
Chu Qingmian didn't want to look into his eyes anymore, so she lowered her head and saw the bruises on the back of her hands.
The needle was inserted into the blood vessel, and a sterile cotton cloth was applied against it, with a little bit of bright red blood oozing out.
I don’t know what’s in the hanging bottle, but it’s probably glucose.
The previous examination results came out, and the doctor said there was nothing wrong with her. Her parents breathed a sigh of relief and said they would stay with her for a while and asked her to sleep peacefully.
She refused, knowing that Su Chengyi would come to her later and might say something inappropriate for her parents to hear.
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In fact, from that time on, Chu Qingmian roughly guessed what Su Chengyi would say.
In fact, she never fell asleep in the first place.
He heard the "ding dong" of the elevator, heard Butler Han talking to him, heard the footsteps gradually getting lighter outside the ward, heard him walking to the bedside, carefully pulling up a chair and sitting down.
Chu Qingmian closed her eyes, but she could still feel his gaze on her face, which was as warm and cool as ever.
She pretended to be asleep, but actually she didn't dare to open her eyes and didn't want to face the words she would hear next, so she had to slow down and delay.
However, when you actually hear those cruel words, you still feel that any psychological construction is a lie and has no effect at all.
Chu Qingmian's thoughts were suddenly in a trance, and she felt as if some pain was being radiated throughout her body. The pain was so painful that she wanted to shed tears.
Perhaps her reflex arc was as long as ever, which was why she was able to ask him those questions so calmly just now, causing her to have to hear more hurtful words from him.
These layers of pain are gathered together. Because of the long reflex arc, it seems to be infinitely slowed down in the timeline, making every inch of pain extremely real, and even the direction of escape cannot be found.
"Are you feeling uncomfortable? Do you want me to call a doctor?"
The person opposite clearly sensed her abnormality and stood up quickly, frowning and looking very worried.
Chu Qingmian raised her head and looked at his eyebrows, but she couldn't be sure whether this worry was true or not. After all, he was a liar with such superb acting skills.
Thinking of this, Chu Qingmian suddenly stretched out her hand and pulled out the needle that had penetrated the blood vessel.
Blood spattered and fell on the white sheets of the hospital bed, bright and dazzling.
Su Chengyi reacted quickly. He immediately grabbed the needle from her hand and threw it aside. He grabbed the sterile cotton cloth nearby and pressed it to the wound on the back of her hand to stop the bleeding.
"What are you doing?"
Su Chengyi lowered his head and frowned at her.
Obviously I would be reluctant to get a vaccination because of the pain, but I was not careful when I pulled out the needle just now. The needle was sharp and must have opened a long wound.
He was thinking about whether to call a doctor right away to take care of it, but Chu Qingmian's tears burst out again, making him unable to take any action for the time being.
At this time, she suddenly reached out and hugged his waist, burying her tears together.
"Injections are useless."
Su Chengyi was stunned for a moment, touched the back of her head like a kitten, and asked:
"Why do you say it's useless?"
"It hurts."
Chu Qingmian didn't want to raise her head and just said dullly.
"Where does it hurt? Can you describe it specifically, where it is, is it a dull pain or a stabbing pain, is it bursty or continuous?"
Su Chengyi was really worried and asked in rapid succession.
After all, he had already experienced an accident, and he had to face the Shura field again. His emotions were ups and downs, and it might actually cause some problems.
Thinking of this, Su Chengyi glanced at the bell, moved his steps, and was immediately ready to press it.
"It seems like growing pains."
Her answer made Su Chengyi's raised hand freeze in mid-air. For a long time, it just slowly lowered.
Chu Qingmian originally thought that her "growing pains" had ended when she was eighteen.
Unexpectedly, the real growing pains came late on such a winter day, forcing her to say goodbye to Su Chengyi every minute.
The pain was so unbearable that she just wanted to curl up and escape from reality, not wanting to face anything.
Su Chengyi stood beside the hospital bed, unable to do anything but pat her back gently to comfort her.
If Chen Jinzhi's farewell is the phrase "let me go," then the eldest lady's farewell is probably every tear she sheds at this moment.
Her trembling, fear and heartbreak were all conveyed to Su Chengyi's heart through these tears in every detail.
The bridge between people is indeed made through tears.
Su Chengyi thought silently.
Chu Qingmian suddenly pushed him away gently and raised her head, her beautiful glass-like eyes glowing with red bloodshot eyes.
"If I had known this was the case, I wouldn't have talked to you at the subway station that day."
After her words fell, the two of them seemed to have returned to the subway station that day.
That day, Su Chengyi had not yet recovered from his sudden rebirth and was leaning against the wall in a daze.
That day, Chu Qingmian tugged on the strap of her schoolbag and observed him curiously for a while. Finally, she couldn't help but come up to him and asked him with a smile what was wrong, why he seemed to have lost his soul.
All the memories that he couldn't recall just now, even though he tried hard to think of them, suddenly revived in Su Chengyi's mind.
The subway is whizzing by around me, and the shots of the past are flashing like a revolving door.
Countless memory fragments are like the Easter egg shots at the end of the movie, scattered and fragmented.
The smiling eyes of Wanwan came into view for the first time after rebirth, and she mustered up the courage to hand over the strawberry milk.
The heartbeat caused by the first snowfall on her eyelashes, the Christmas song "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence".
I saw the dazzling stars in the Everest camp, and the whales suddenly leaping high on the sea where broken ice floated.
The sleepy good-morning kiss every morning, the delicious smell of fructose in her hair, the unknowing whispers while feeding the stray kittens, and the "like" she always said between her eyebrows. ".
So, Su Chengyi finally stood in the reborn subway station again.
This time, there was no girl with bright eyes and white teeth, tilting her head and chuckling, only the sound of the whistling wind passing through the lonely soul.
Every moment of loving you is like a passing subway.
(End of chapter)