Chapter 17, If you take it seriously, you will lose
There is a saying on the Internet: If you are serious, you will lose.
There is a saying on the Internet: the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.
And this is also a true portrayal of many unsatisfactory things in daily life.
For example, Haruhi Suzumiya's SOS team, Crayon Shin-chan's Kasukabe Defense Team, and Doraemon's Youth Adventure Team, these three super-invincible teams that once traversed the multiverse and frightened countless enemies, as well as Nohara's parents and others Gathered together, sitting at the Nohara family home in Kasukabe City, Saitama Prefecture, Japan On the tatami in the living room, they waited with bated breath for the "Lord God" to transport them into the movie "Alien 1". However, the result was not that they collectively traveled to another world as they thought, but instead saw a ferocious alien. Suddenly fell from the roof of Nohara Shinnosuke's house...
——According to Nagato Yuki's post-analysis, since the "Main God" has been severely damaged and cannot work normally at all, and even the most basic programs have been destroyed, there is currently no way to bring more people in, so we have to make do. Trying to release the monsters and whatnot.
What's even more tragic is that due to the serious lack of energy of the Lord God, the aliens released are also shrunken versions - only as big as a basketball.
The next moment, the alien, which was originally only the size of a basketball, was lifted up by Doraemon, who was well prepared, with a [shrinking light] and shone fiercely, until it became only the size of a Japanese yen coin, and was then put into a thick In the glass bottle, enjoy the inhumane onlookers of a large group of meddlers...
——No matter how ferocious the monster looks, when it becomes only as big as a fingernail, not many people will be afraid.
Well, Nohara Shinnosuke also took a plastic straw and teased the "mini alien" like a bug. He watched happily as it spit out acid in small mouthfuls, corroding many holes in the straw and at the same time. The inner wall of the glass bottle was corroded and pitted - unfortunately, due to the complete lack of food supplements, the poor alien could no longer spray the acid after just a few puffs of acid, and could not corrode a hole out of the glass bottle.
"...Oh! It's quite fun! It's definitely more interesting to raise than a rhinoceros! Mom, can I raise it at home?"
After playing with the mini version of the interstellar alien for a while, five-year-old Nohara Shinnosuke naively made the above request.
——Hey, what do you think aliens are? I want it to perform a chicken-catching performance. The chicken still does the butt dance?
Wang Qiu could only roll his eyes speechlessly at this, while Doraemon and others disagreed - they had even raised or made more terrifying things!
Well, if you think about it, a "cat-shaped child care robot" that can carry a 100-billion-ton TNT-equivalent nuclear warhead with it and prepare to blow up mice probably doesn't even know how to write the word "fear"!
"...Of course not! Such ugly things will scare the guests!" Xiaoxin's mother, Nohara Miya, put her hands on her hips and shouted with a straight face, "...and our family still has thirty years of mortgage payments to repay. One dog, Xiaobai, is already hard enough, where can we raise more small animals?”
Well, in the eyes of Miya Nohara, a housewife, the aliens that can scare astronauts seem to be things like cockroaches?
Well, however, in the world of Crayon Shin-chan, most things do not need to be taken too seriously, because all the evil villains and enemies who want to destroy the world only have the IQ of a five-year-old child at most...or they are even more stupid. .
"...What an ugly piece of crap!" This was the comment of His Highness, Commander Haruhi Suzumiya, "...It's better to die as soon as possible!"
So, Fat Tiger said next that in order to celebrate the victory of defeating the alien and defending the earth, he would sing a song on the spot... The others quickly took out cotton plugs in their ears, and the alien in the bottle staggered and fell immediately. He died helplessly under the curse of the adults and the singing of Fat Tiger.
——At this point, the plot of "Alien 1" ends with the dull disappointment of the SOS group, the Kasukabe Defense Force and the Youth Adventure Group.
In this incredible world, there are many things you will lose if you take them seriously...
※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※
At noon that day, the Nohara family hosted Wang Qiu, Haruhi Suzumiya, Doraemon and others for a rather sumptuous lunch.
In general, although they are also burdened with heavy mortgage pressure, and the head of the family is also a typical nine-to-five office worker, the Nohara family seems to be wealthier than the Nobi family - first of all, Nohara Hiroshi is a member of Futaba Trading Company The head of the sales department has an annual salary of more than 6 million yen, while Nobi’s father Just working as a "section chief's assistant" (similar to a secretary or adjutant), the position and income are much worse; secondly, the cost of living in Saitama Prefecture is slightly lower than that in Tokyo, so the Nohara family can afford it The Nobis couldn't afford a car - albeit one paid for in installments over ten years.
This difference is reflected at the dining table, that is, the food of the Nohara family is better than that of the Nobi family. Although nearly twenty people were served at the table at one time, everyone still got a piece of delicious fried pork chop, plus two fried chicken legs... But that was it. The amount of meat is limited, so it’s not possible for everyone to eat as much as they want, and delicacies from the mountains and sea are really unaffordable. The vegetables were green peppers and carrots...and more than half of the green peppers were secretly thrown away by Xiaoxin.
——No way, Nohara Shinnosuke's child's extreme dislike of green peppers is as famous as his love for his beautiful elder sister.
After lunch, Haruhi Suzumiya, who was already a little less interested, headed back to Hyogo Prefecture through the random gate. But Nagato Yuki stayed for the time being, and studied the function and secret of the "Main God" ball with Doraemon - I don't know how Nagato Yuki, an alien agent, actually changed from the "Main God" sphere. I made a port on the ball and connected it to the laptop with a data cable...
As for Wang Qiu, who had absolutely no involvement in such professional issues, under the leadership of Xiaoxin, he visited the Nohara family's house - a closer look revealed that there was nothing except the room on the second floor of the Nohara family that was used as a study. Everyone sleeps, and the whole family makes bunks in a large room on the first floor at night. The entire building structure is actually not much different from the Nobi family... Could it be that traditional Japanese architecture is based on the same routine?
In addition, Nohara Shinnosuke also proudly showed off their new building - a second-hand luxury dog house bought for Xiaobai for 10,000 yen from the flea market. It uses a Japanese-style palace structure and is very exquisite. The carved beams and painted buildings do look beautiful... The only flaw is that the owner of this dog house, Xiao Bai, seems to be a little out of shape and depressed... Later I found out that Xiao Xin forgot to feed the dog today. .
Speaking of which, Xiaobai, a mongrel dog, lived in Xiaoxin's house with ups and downs and was extremely miserable - sometimes because Xiaoxin accidentally forgot to feed him, he was so hungry that he was skin and bones; sometimes he ate a whole meal in one meal. Weeks of dog food makes the belly bulge; one moment it becomes as fat as a puppy The pig is as thin as a skeleton for a while; from time to time, he is dragged by Xiaoxin to breed with some strange animals... Fortunately, "Crayon Shin-chan" is a comedy work, and all science, logic and rationality are just clouds, otherwise This ill-fated puppy may have been buried long ago.
As it got darker, adults from various families called to urge him, and Xiaoxin's children in Futaba Kindergarten also said goodbye and left, preparing to go home and go to bed. Nobi Nobita, Minamoto Shizuka, Onikawa Koo, Fat Tiger and other elementary school students also started to pack their things... But at this moment, Nagato Yuki, who was wearing rabbit headphones and staring at the screen, suddenly took off his headphones and turned around and spoke. , issued another latest alert!
"...There are new changes in the main god space! The plot of "The Grudge" will enter in one hour! Please pay attention..."
This sudden news made Wang Qiu, who was opening Doraemon's dimensional pocket and preparing to dig in, stumble.
Eh? The alien had just been sung to death by Fat Tiger's singing, and now there is a cursed ghost without eyes looking for death?
Well, although Haruhi Suzumiya has left, the Nohara family's camp is still very strong, so there shouldn't be any serious problems!
Therefore, everyone whose interest was aroused gathered again in the living room of the Nohara family, watching TV while waiting for the arrival of "The Grudge" to turn the Nohara family into a haunted house. The Nohara family also discussed with great interest the question of "where will the ghost of Kayako come out?"
Unfortunately, when the "Main God" prompted the plot to enter, the Nohara family, Doraemon and others searched for a long time and found nothing strange. It wasn't until I heard Xiaobai barking hoarsely in the yard that I found a copycat version of "The Grudge" from its doghouse...
※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※
"...The latest luxury doghouse that the Nohara family bought for their mongrel dog Xiaobai originally belonged to a little female Chihuahua named Kayako across the street. During her lifetime, the little bitch Kayako had a crush on the neighbor's Akita dog Xiaobai, but it turned out that He was brutally raped and killed by another big, thick, black and hard wolf dog... Kayako's wronged soul became an earthbound spirit from then on. He was sold to the Nohara family together with the luxurious dog house he had lived in, and he was obsessed with Xiaobai, who he had a crush on before..."< br>
While listening to Nagato Yuki's uneventful explanation, I watched the ghost of a little Chihuahua bitch emerge from Xiaobai's dog food bowl and flutter around the dog house, making Xiaobai bark in terror. Everyone can’t help but have the urge to throw themselves to the ground and bang their heads against the wall:
"...Oh my god! The doghouse version of "The Grudge"...isn't this a lie?"
——There is no way, in this incredible world, if you are serious about many things, you will lose... In short, through Nagato Yuki's "information operation", everyone finally succeeded in resolving the evil spirit of the bitch version of Kayako, and successfully achieved success. This love of "dog-ghost love is not over" allows Xiaobai to live a "happy life" where he can see the ghost of the little bitch Kayako every day when he comes back from a walk...