Chapter 6, Memories of Classmate Ashu
Monologue of a certain "professional complainer" Kyon's classmate:
First of all, let me introduce myself. I live in Nishinomiya City, Hyogo Prefecture. I am a high school student at the Prefectural Hoku High School. I am currently underage.
To be honest, the boring topic of how old you have to be before you start not believing in Santa Claus doesn’t bother me at all. However, when it comes to how old I have been since I didn’t believe in the existence of the old man in red at Christmas, then I can definitely say that I didn’t believe it from the very beginning – I know that he appeared at the kindergarten Christmas celebration Santa Claus is fake. Looking back in memory, I can still remember that the kindergarten children around me looked at the principal and teacher pretending to be Santa Claus with distrust on their faces.
However, even though I know that it is unrealistic that Santa Claus lives in the North Pole, I still put stockings on the bedside like other children and write my wishes on the pieces of paper inside. Although I also know that aliens, ghosts, monsters, superpowers, and the heroes who fight against evil organizations in tokusatsu films and animations do not really exist in this world. But I still have such a vague hope: How boring is this world that operates under established physical rules. It would be great if there were people from the universe, people from the future, and people with super powers existing in this world. Maybe one day I will meet them, discover a new world free from the secular world, and even become one of them, have my own abilities, punish evil and promote good, and enjoy grudges. How exciting would that be? !
I once had such a middle school dream, when did I end this incredible fantasy?
Well, in short, under the pressure of reality and study, I chose common sense in the end, and unknowingly got used to the ordinaryness of this world.
Alas, this boring world that runs smoothly under scientific laws completely killed my childhood fantasy.
That being the case, when did I become interested in the magical things in animation and special effects films again?
It must have been after being forced by Haruhi Suzumiya to join this "Haruhi Suzumiya Group that makes the world more lively", or the SOS Group for short!
——The beautiful girl Haruhi Suzumiya seems to have no worries, but her only worry is: she feels that this world is too ordinary!
I don’t know if Haruhi Suzumiya’s brain is wired wrongly. The only “extraordinary things” she considers are supernatural things, and she has always felt quite dissatisfied with the fact that she has never encountered even half a supernatural event.
However, everyone must know that future people, aliens, and superpowers can only exist in fictional worlds. Therefore, as long as Kasuga-san lives in this ordinary world, her troubles will continue.
Well, it should have been like this, but the fact is that I can't say for sure, so I'm quite troubled. Because I really got to know a bunch of so-called future people, aliens and superpowers. They had already gathered around Haruhi Suzumiya, watching every move of this supposedly omnipotent god at close range, but only hiding it from her.
Unexpectedly, the reality that I have always taken for granted will suddenly collapse one day!
Living with such a group of strange people day and night, an ordinary ordinary person like me really feels a lot of pressure.
However, due to shock and curiosity, I joined in half-heartedly, and participated in or held so-called "club activities" with the "master" Suzumiya Haruhi, and lived a lively and noisy happiness with my colleagues in the SOS group. Life: Sometimes I enter the "closed space" to fight giants, sometimes I wander around in parallel worlds, and sometimes I go into the never-ending world. The end of August repeats the journey of life over and over again, and sometimes even wakes up and turns into a arrogant girl with a single ponytail named "Kyoshi"... More often than not, it makes no sense in the spring. Under the demands of others, he participated in all kinds of messy things... Although he occasionally felt very tired, it also made people feel very exciting and fulfilled.
Through the descriptions of Nagato Yuki, a Sanmu Musang, and Koizumi Kazuki, a gay friend, I learned that in the incredible country of Japan, there are all kinds of people from the future, people from other worlds, aliens, people with super powers, Demon kings, brave men, magicians, magical girls, demons, angels, evil organizations, etc., are actually countless and they are everywhere. Industry competition The fight was so fierce that the majestic Demon King was reduced to working in a fast food restaurant, while a certain rabbit-like and cat-like alien **** (Chubby) was busy all day long fooling all kinds of cute girls to seek his own death. The situation - well, for the first time in my life, I know that behind those seemingly chic magical girls, there is such an unimaginable tragic fate!
Woohoo! Mom, this earth is so dangerous! I want to immigrate to Mars!
Fortunately, although there are many of these strange people, most of them are concentrated in Tokyo, Kyoto or some famous places, and they are dismissive of rural places like Hyogo Prefecture, so that I have never seen them in my life... Alas, it turns out This world is not a serious and rigid existence, but a comedy work, where science, logic and rationality are all just a blur! Is it really because I have too little experience?
To be honest, after learning that there were so many incredible people on Earth, I was really worried that they would mess with Earth Lord. But looking back and thinking about it carefully, with their great power, even if they accidentally damage the Earth Lord, it should be easy to repair it! Since the world has shown no signs of destruction until now, ordinary people like me would rather not bother ourselves.
Next, a terrible thing happened!
After Haruhi Suzumiya experienced a mysterious adventure that neither Koizumi, nor Asahina-senpai took part in (when Haruhi Suzumiya ventured into the infinite world, went to Crayon Shin-chan’s home to fight against aliens, and watched "The Grudge"), she only brought (It’s just Nagato Yuki), she actually discovered the truth that had been hidden around her! Suzumiya Haruhi not only learned her true identity as a god, but also learned that Nagato Yuki is an alien, Koizumi Kazuki is a superpower, and Asahina Mikuru is a person from the future, and there is a huge conspiracy behind each of them. Organization...
When I received the above-mentioned bad news, I almost despaired of my life!
You know, even though Haruhi Suzumiya is just a cute girl full of energy, she is actually a great being who can easily destroy the world in a fit of anger!
Fortunately, after losing his temper, scaring the entire SOS team to kneel down and begging for mercy, and punishing me with all my pocket money, Haruhi Suzumiya did not create more apocalyptic disasters called "Information Explosion", but remained relatively calm. After accepting the fact... Next, she somehow mastered the method of creating "closed space", often throwing us into various weird worlds full of curious colors, and tortured us to the point of death.
Hey, Haruhi Suzumiya-san, are you so mentally stimulated that you have awakened the attributes of the Super S Queen?
But we are not making fun of you!
In addition, after learning about the existence of the "other world" full of magic and fantasy, Suzumiya Haruhi forced Koizumi Kazuki and Nagato Yuki to act as guides all day long, leading the entire SOS group around Japan. Visiting various "secret lands", including a mysterious shrine enshrining a fox spirit, a fast food restaurant where a demon king works, and an amusement park where all the employees are residents of a fantasy world... everything is thrown into chaos.
Even once, we witnessed a murder on a luxury cruise ship on the high seas with a little boy in a blue suit wearing glasses, a girl who was proficient in karate, and a very stinky detective uncle! Not the previous show on the island villa, but a real murder!
However, just when I began to feel that such an increasingly fantastic and exciting life seemed good, disaster suddenly struck.
——That was a truly devastating and terrifying catastrophe!
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This round of unprecedented catastrophe began on Monday morning.
On this day, for some unknown reason, Suzumiya Haruhi came to school a full hour late and was severely scolded by the teacher. According to her, the reason was that she encountered a series of traffic accidents on the way to school, from train derailments, tanker truck explosions, to car pile-ups on the highway, and even overpasses in the city collapsed by large trucks. I don’t know how the traffic police let the ten-wheel truck into the commercial district...
Just as we were eating lunch on the lawn in front of the teaching building and listening to Haruhi Suzumiya dancing happily describing her thrilling journey to school, another bad boy from the Bosozoku gang rode a rumbling motorcycle from the open door. The school gate (there happened to be a car trying to get out of the school) rushed in and rushed towards us! At that time, we were all so stupid that we actually sat motionless on the lawn... But in the end, the rampaging motorcycle did not run over us. Instead, it deflected at an angle at the critical moment and passed through a bush. He flew off the platform where the school is located and fell into a nearby kindergarten, collapsing the children's slide and sending this bosozoku to the hospital...
Thinking about it now, this is probably Haruhi Suzumiya's invincible magical power coming into play again!
What's even more strange is that when school was over that day, Nagato Yuki, who had always been taciturn, actually took the initiative to express his desire to stay at Suzumiya Haruhi's house for a few days. And Suzumiya Haruhi happily agreed, saying that her parents just happened to go out of town, and living at home alone was very lonely. She had long wanted to find a classmate to accompany her to relieve her boredom... Well, it's none of my business anyway. So I didn't pay much attention.
Then, on Tuesday, a record-breaking torrential rain fell in Nishinomiya City, which not only caused serious flooding in the city and caused power outages in many areas, but also triggered large-scale mudslides and landslides that had not been seen in a century, destroying more than 30 buildings in one go. House, but miraculously no one died - this mudslide almost missed the house of Haruhi Suzumiya's house, which made us all feel even more wrong after hearing the news.
However, since the school was closed on this day, I just spent the day bored at home and did not get in touch with others in time
Although the heavy rain in Nishinomiya City stopped on Wednesday, a series of accidents broke out again, ranging from toxic gas leaks in suburban chemical plants, explosions of gas pipelines in residential areas, to large fires in traditional Japanese houses in Laokai Town, and even civil aviation accidents. Planes crashed and crashed over the city, several in succession... All these disasters also happened near Haruhi Suzumiya's home, but they were stopped within easy reach by some unknown force.
By now, the city was in chaos, with most shops closed and schools continuing to be closed. After I made a phone call with Haruhi Suzumiya, I found Koizumi with some worries. But Koizumi smiled and said that there is absolutely no guy in this world who can hurt Haruhi Suzumiya... Of course, just in case, Koizumi finally contacted the people in his "agency" to prepare to investigate this series of accidents. The truth behind it.
Next, something even crazier happened - on Thursday, a group of gangsters in Kansai suddenly gathered in the city to engage in a gang fight. It was a huge scene with thousands of gangsters and hundreds of guns, as well as privately modified rocket launchers and Roadside bombs go into battle together! The scene was so violent and tragic that it was unimaginable that it happened in a peaceful country like Japan! Even the helicopter sent by the TV station to grab the news was somehow shot down. The police were defeated several times during the encirclement and suppression. In the end, the Self-Defense Force had to drive tanks to clear the area. It seemed that they were close to asking for help from the US military stationed in Japan. ...I heard from my father that even when the Aum Shinrikyo cult was being encircled and suppressed, it was not so crazy!
What’s even crazier is that the house of Haruhi Suzumiya’s family is located exactly in the center of this battlefield. From her bedroom window, she can hear bursts of gunfire and see rockets whizzing over the roof of the building. , and armored vehicles using loudspeakers to persuade them to surrender rumbled through the streets. Moreover, the neighboring houses were turned into a hornet's nest by bullets, and planes fell like meteors. Finally, even the Mars detector launched by the United States fell and hit the ground less than a street away from Suzumiya's house. place...but in this hail of bullets, there is only Miraculously, her house was unscathed, and even the network cable and electricity were not cut off, so that Suzumiya Haruhi could happily watch live-action gunfight movies while using the computer to talk to me, Koizumi, and Asahina Mikuru Video chat really scares us.
Faced with such an incredible situation, even Koizumi felt that something was wrong. But before there was time to discuss a countermeasure, a sudden major earthquake hit the entire Hyogo Prefecture... Although Japan is the hometown of earthquakes, and TV programs have earthquake warnings every three days, but houses like this collapsed. This is the first time in my life that I have encountered a horrific scene.
As a result, according to our experience in earthquake prevention drills, our family had just dragged our large and small bags and ran to the school on the high ground to take refuge. Another rainstorm of even more alarming scale came with continuous thunder and lightning, which not only destroyed the county's north Gao turned into an isolated island surrounded by floods, and my house was submerged under the water... Although they were soaked by the heavy rain, looking at the crooked appearance of the teaching building, my parents and sister said nothing. Willing to go to the classroom to take shelter from the rain. In order to protect themselves from lightning strikes, they did not dare to hide under the trees, so they had to set up a small tent on the playground.
I was the only one who was dragged into the activity room of the SOS group by Haruhi Suzumiya. Well, although the water and electricity were cut off, Koizumi and Asahina-senpai took refuge here. Nagato Yuki also came after a while, and she was probably from the SOS group. It’s another group activity.
However, before Haruhi Suzumiya could come up with some incredible new ideas when she was bored, a group of very strange guys broke in. Some of them seemed to know Haruhi Suzumiya, and the leader was actually a A chubby robot. The remaining few people are said to be from another world...but this is not the focus of what I want to say. The focus is on the bad news they brought to Haruhi Suzumiya.
A piece of bad news that sounds ridiculous to most ordinary people:
——So far, all the disasters that Nishimiya City has suffered are because of a "God of Death"!
Specifically, there is a "God of Death" who ran away from the movie "The God of Death", luckily traveled through space, came to our world, and tightly entangled Haruhi Suzumiya and Yuki Nagato. You need to create an accident and kill them both. Helplessly, Haruhi Suzumiya is the supreme god of this earth, and Yuki Nagato is an alien agent from the "Information Integrated Thought Body". They are basically immortal existences. No matter how cleverly the "God of Death" sets up the killing plan, they will not be able to survive. Automatically and unconsciously vetoed by Haruhi Suzumiya - she has the highest authority on the planet!
So the God of Death had no choice but to make the scale of the killings bigger and bigger, first it was a car accident, then a factory accident, then a plane crash and a gun battle, and finally even big killing moves like earthquakes and floods were used... But as long as Suzumiya Haruhi doesn't want to Suicide and any killing situation are just a joke to her. But the problem is that others are not as tough-minded as Haruhi Suzumiya - this is the truth behind the recent series of tragic disasters in Nishinomiya City!
If ordinary citizens heard such a statement, they would probably laugh it off, but we are no longer ordinary people.
To be honest, I really don’t really hope what they said is true. I have only watched one film of "Death Comes", and I was too scared to watch the subsequent ones. Because it was so hopeless and terrifying. Not to mention that such ubiquitous death can happen in reality... I don’t even know how to live! Unexpectedly, Nagato Yuki, who is an agent of the "Information Integration Thought Body", actually nodded in agreement with their statement...