Chapter 39: Angels also need promotional packaging (Part 1)
Giovanni. Boccaccio, born in Florence, was a famous humanist writer in the 14th century and an outstanding representative of the Italian Renaissance.
If you want to count who is the most interesting guy in Florence in this era, Boccaccio is definitely one of them. This guy is cheerful and humorous, likes chatting, joking, and spreading rumors, especially all kinds of dirty jokes. All kinds of true or false gossips come into his mouth, and they are always told so vividly, just like the later tabloids, paparazzi and those "big Vs" on the Internet - you probably won't admire him, but But it's hard not to like him. If Boccaccio were placed in China in the 21st century, he would probably immediately become a top internet celebrity with over a million fans.
Of course, any excellent big V or paparazzi is not made in a day. Although Boccaccio loved literature and art since childhood, he liked reading and wanted to be a great poet, but his father regarded him as not doing his job properly. When he was about fourteen years old, the old Boccaccio ignored his son's interests and sent him to Naples to study business, and then changed to study law. As a result, the young man wasted twelve years of good time in vain. ——Others commented: During the six years of internship in a commercial bank, he was as stupid as a donkey; during the other six years of internship in the court, he was as stupid as another donkey.
There is no way, for those artistic geniuses with unrestrained ideas, boring business contracts and legal provisions are too torturous.
Fortunately, the court in Naples was relatively open-minded at that time. Around the king, in addition to feudal nobles, early financiers, and navigators who had returned from the ocean, there was also a group of well-informed scholars, some of whom also knew Greek and Arabic. Wen formed a cultural center in Italy at that time. During his stay in Naples, Boccaccio, through the influence of his father, often had the opportunity to participate in some social activities at the court, which expanded his horizons in the cultural field. Therefore, after not long hanging out in the cultural circles, he announced that he hated business and law. He also added sensationally that he loved poverty and poetry. From then on, he began to stop doing his job and began to write poetry in imitation of the polished literary style that was popular at that time. .
——Of course, although Boccaccio, who gave up his studies, claimed to "love poverty", he never forgot to ask his father for a lot of money to squander.
Next, Boccaccio, who further degenerated from a stupid student into a libertine, wrote many erotic and bold obscene poems, which really made him somewhat famous. Obviously, poets always fall in love. So he also fell in love, and he had a very good taste in choosing women - the lover Boccaccio chose for himself was Princess Maria of the Kingdom of Naples, the half-sister of the future Queen of Naples, Joanna I.
However, this Princess Maria was not a genuine product, but the illegitimate daughter of the king. She was also a famous slut in Italy at that time. In modern medical terms, she was a so-called nymphomaniac. In later generations, it was often vividly compared to a "juicer". Therefore, although Maria already had a husband at that time, she still felt that it was not enough to meet her needs in bed, so she actually recruited lovers on a large scale and squeezed their bodies and wallets to death - this The "bus" princess lives a luxurious and dissolute life, and is never satisfied with sex and money.
Perhaps all the writers in this world love bad women. Boccaccio was fascinated by her as soon as he saw her. He affectionately called Maria "little flame" and wrote many beautiful love poems for her. I don't know how many he dedicated to her. Because his pursuit of Maria was so crazy, even Princess Joanna, who was not the queen at the time. We all know it. Unfortunately, "Little Flame"'s reputation has spread widely, there are too many adulterers, and the schedule is too full. After waiting for five years, Boccaccio was finally on "Little Flame's" bed. With an opening, Boccaccio quickly dived in and finally tasted her
After a year of happy sex life, Boccaccio found that his kidney deficiency problem was getting worse and worse, and he had to lament that "even the knife edge of sex has become blunt". Besides, the money he collected from his father was basically useless. Spending all the money - becoming a prodigal seems to be a common problem among many great writers.
As a result, Boccaccio, who was unable to satisfy women's demands in all aspects, was driven out of bed by "Little Flame" and returned to his apartment in despair to continue writing poems. And the level of poetry has been further improved - Boccaccio condensed the unventable desire into a brilliant obscene poem. This obscene poem, which has 5,400 lines, describes all kinds of sexual pleasures, immoral pleasures, and sexual positions with gusto. It has become a classic masterpiece in the history of pornographic literature and influenced many people in later generations. poet. It was an instant hit and a sensation in the literary world at the time, and even Queen Joanna was deeply impressed by it.
Some time later, Boccaccio's father's business failed and went bankrupt, and he died in depression. Having lost financial support and lost his fortune, Boccaccio had no choice but to return to Florence and find a way to find a job in the government. At the same time, he used his spare time to serve as a paparazzi and write various lively gossip stories. But he was still obsessed with Princess Maria's delicate body, and even wrote a female psychology novel "Little Flame", which described a woman's complex psychological changes during the process of sexual intercourse in great detail. The elder of Freud, the master of sexual psychology.
Then, in the city of Florence where the Black Death broke out, he had an unexpected encounter with Little Flame's sister, Queen Joanna of the Kingdom of Naples. There was also a group of time-travelers who used black technology props from the 22nd century to disguise themselves as "angels"...and were very sad to learn of the death of "Little Flame" - Princess Maria, who had obsessed him for half his life, had He died of the Black Death last year, in 1347.
※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※
——When they learned that this unspectacular guy in front of them was actually a great literary master who went down in history, all the time-travelers could not help but marvel. They also took a bunch of photos of him and asked the frightened Mr. Boccaccio to sign them as a souvenir ( He initially thought it was because of his embezzlement of public funds)... But after satisfying their curiosity, everyone had difficulties with how to arrange this great writer who would become famous in the future.
Although Boccaccio will be very famous in the history of literature in the future, he is just a guy who writes best-selling pornographic novels. He is not even qualified as a literary critic. His social status is probably about the same as that of Japanese painters in later generations. Although the sentiment is strong, mainstream public opinion actually despises this guy. And his title of government financial officer is useless now that the Florentine government itself has collapsed - the Florentine government's treasury has long been divided up when the big shots fled for refuge, and now It was so clean that a mouse could skate on it. As for letting Boccaccio lead the way and tell everyone which families in Florence are the richest, Queen Joanna and the bishop sent by the Holy See to assist may know this matter better than Boccaccio - the former It was often necessary to borrow money from Florentine bankers to fill the treasury deficit; the latter often came to Florence to collect donations and collect taxes on behalf of the Holy See.
But it seemed a pity to just send him home... In the end, Doraemon had an idea and came up with a task that would allow Mr. Boccaccio to use his professional expertise: let him help write some praises Cat poems and short stories as promotional material.
——Ever since he witnessed his stray cat friend wholeheartedly helping medieval Europeans to catch mice, but was tortured and killed by "stupid humans", the frustrated Doraemon became greatly stimulated, and became more and more eager to bring down the world. Christianity was transformed into "Cat Worshipers".
Because after all, this matter does not involve the core interests of the church, and it is under the special background that the Black Death is about to devour the continent, and the "angels" are holding the only life-saving elixir, the Catholic Church has basically no objection to the above-mentioned innovations, and they are all Accepted it.
But even if the church is willing to cooperate in such a small matter, how can we change the customs and customs next, especially the long-standing prejudice against cats in people's minds and make them believe that cats are beneficial and sacred animals... This requires corresponding measures. Instructional materials, rather than just a slogan - if there is not even a doctrine or manual, how can you get those propagandists to preach? I can’t even convince myself!
But the problem is, although thanks to the billions of cat lovers on the earth in future generations, there are countless essays, essays, poems, and stories praising cats. A casual search on the modern Internet can find hundreds of them. Thousands of articles, even in Latin, Italian and French, are not difficult to find, but After all, this is a work written several centuries later. Regardless of the ideological concepts or genre format, it seems to be somewhat incompatible with the style of the Renaissance... All the Vatican priests and nuns who read these articles brought by the time travelers said that they read It feels very awkward and difficult to explain to believers. And if they were asked to write according to the literary style of this era, all the time-travelers expressed their inability to write.
In the past, I had been focusing mainly on searching for property - after all, raising money to repay Doraemon's loan sharks was the most important thing, so I could only put this matter aside for the time being, but now that I have met Boga in Florence Qiu is such a great writer, so Doraemon naturally took advantage of him and ordered him to take on the task of writing the "Cat Worship Club" textbook - at least it looks professional and relevant, right? Unfortunately, Mr. Boccaccio seemed not to be doing a very good job even with such a seemingly simple task.