Chapter 40: Angels also need promotional packaging (Part 2)
Still in the dusty study room of the Florence City Hall, still next to the messy desk, the still young literary master Boccaccio bit his penholder with a haggard face, his expression was full of confusion and distress, and his eyes were even brighter. It was red, as if he had just cried a lot.
In front of him, there was a lazy little tabby cat acting as a model, lying on the window sill with its eyes narrowed, basking in the sun.
On the desk at his hand, there are also many photos and drawings depicting the cuteness of various cats, as well as small statues in the shape of cats.
But Boccaccio's pen is still blank, not even a letter has been written on the paper.
(At this time, papermaking had been introduced to Western Europe by the Portuguese a century ago, and was quickly promoted because of its cheapness. However, expensive parchment has not been completely eliminated, and is still used in some matters such as papal oracles, Important documents such as king’s edicts)
"...Mr. Boccaccio, I just asked you to try to write a short poem in praise of cats. Why haven't you finished it yet?"
Seeing his passive performance, Queen Joanna, who came to inspect the progress, scolded with some dissatisfaction.
"...I'm sorry, Your Majesty, it's not that I don't work hard, but...although I have used poems of various genres to praise girls, heroes, flowers, and birds, I have never praised cats. Ah! This is beyond the limits of my imagination.”
Boccaccio replied with a gloomy face - Europeans' aesthetics these days are different from those of later generations. They treat cats just like tentacle monsters, so it is naturally awkward to write a hymn. And his mind was not on this matter, "...well, your majesty, my little flame, uh, no, it is Princess Maria, has really been summoned to heaven by the Lord, and is it absolutely true? ?" he said somewhat hesitantly.
"...Yes, although I have never witnessed it with my own eyes, I found her tomb on the outskirts of Naples. It seems that she died when the plague first broke out, so the living people can still build a more elegant tomb for her. , probably considered a great blessing among misfortunes.”
Queen Joanna sighed and replied - although the royal family is often fiercely contentious and there are many brothers and sisters who kill each other, Maria is an illegitimate daughter after all. She has no legal inheritance rights and lacks political ambition. She has never been a threat. to the throne of Joanna, so the relationship between Queen Joanna and this sister is pretty good, at least not to the extent that they dislike each other.
Uh-huh? A debauched private life? The queue of lovers can fill a street, may it damage the reputation of the royal family?
Well, this kind of thinking is not wrong, but the problem is that those aristocratic royal families in Western Europe have never had any reputation on the issue of men and women?
To be honest, in this era of widespread moral decay in the upper class, and in Italy, where having sex with women has been a virtue since ancient times (the ancient Roman Republic really had this weird custom), how many nobles are there who are not dissolute at all? ? Even the Pope is not clean at all. It is said that illegitimate children can all be in the same class! What's more, Princess Maria is still an illegitimate daughter, so it's normal for her to live a depraved life, and it's weird to stay clean.
Even Queen Joanna herself had three or four lovers! So since everyone is just each other, then no matter how you look at it, you can't despise Maria because she has more lovers than herself!
At this moment, a burst of loud music suddenly came from the window. The two people in the room hurried to the window and looked out, and found that those "angels" with great supernatural powers had somehow found their way into the center of the most prosperous square in the city. , a giant Lucky Cat statue with gold coins hanging around its neck was erected, and something that made a loud sound was used to promote the sacredness of cats and the origin of the plague to people. Of course, during the intervals between preaching and preaching, the holy white light of the "healing technique" would rise again and again, causing patients and their families who were instantly cured to hug each other and cry with joy.
In addition, several young nuns recruited from Rome were also forced to wear fluffy fake cat ears. While persuading citizens who heard the noise and walked out of their homes to worship the statue of the cat god, they held small boxes to They raised donations - although it may still be difficult to reverse the prejudice against cats in the hearts of most Florentine citizens, the novel decoration of this cat-eared hairpin still attracted many curious eyes.
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While the two of them were silently looking at the cat statue and the cat-eared nun outside the window, classmate Wang Qiu, who had a halo hanging above his head and angel wings on his back, was also reading a few scrolls of paper while walking slowly. Come over. Boccaccio didn't pay much attention at first, but after just a chance glance, he immediately recognized what the manuscript in the angel's hand was. He immediately shook his body, his legs shook violently, and a large drop of cold sweat slowly dripped from his forehead. .
"...Lord Angel, regarding these indecent articles, uh, I think I can explain..."
"...It's okay, it's just a few love poems and some pornographic jokes, and it's written in such a subtle way that it can be shown to children."
Noticing that Boccaccio's face was pale and trembling, as if he was going to be sentenced to death at the next moment, Wang Qiu raised his eyebrows disapprovingly, raised the scrolls and said, "...I'm sorry, I didn't ask for your consent. I just looked at these things I found in the study. However, since Praise has put you in charge of drafting promotional documents, we must also try to understand your literary skills and see what your writing skills are..."
——As we all know, in human history, the standards of many things are constantly developing and changing. The erotic poems and pornographic articles written by Boccaccio were already regarded as shameless and immoral in the eyes of people of this era. However, Wang Qiu, who had read all kinds of AV videos, cartoons and sensual films, In the eyes of modern people in the novel, But even pornographic readings may not be mentioned - the words used in these articles and poems are both too obscure and too empty. When expressing the beauty and allure of the female body and the taboo pleasure of having an affair, they also use a bunch of incomprehensible words. Cloud metaphors and allusions. Of course, the rhythm and rhythm of the style are well grasped, and the sentences are long and short in a regular pattern, but it is hard to understand what is being said...
If you don't consider the theme, these things are probably similar to the incomprehensible theme lyrics of some third-rate anime works.
From Wang Qiu's point of view, Boccaccio can be regarded as a qualified Bagua master, but he is still ten blocks away from being an excellent pornographic writer!
However, in view of the asceticism that the church has been promoting for many years, Boccaccio obviously did not dare to think so, and even thought that the "angel" in front of him was speaking sarcastically... Looking at this guy, his face turned pale with fright, his teeth were trembling, and his body was like Sifting chaff, looking like he is not even able to speak. Wang Qiu scratched his hair in distress, not knowing how to explain or comfort him, but finally decided to let the facts speak: he casually took out his smartphone and called up an "art film" he treasured - "Victoria's Secret" 》series of angel-themed underwear show, and then turn the volume on your smartphone to the maximum.
As a result, Queen Joanna and Boccaccio were stunned to see that on this small screen, a splendid and luxurious palace was displayed, and there were many bikini girls with snow-white wings on their backs and extremely gorgeous looks. They are displayed boldly in a palace Their beautiful bodies, posing with each other, drinking each other, singing and dancing, kissing and playing, doing all kinds of charming things... Such sensual enjoyment that surpasses the times for hundreds of years suddenly made Boccaccio blush for a while. , and even couldn’t help shouting:
"...Oh, God! Do you angels enjoy such a wonderful life every day in the kingdom of the Lord?" He said with great envy.
"...Hey, how is this possible? How can a poor person like me afford such top-notch luxury?" Wang Qiu sighed helplessly and replied rather "humbly", "... ...If you want to step into one of those top clubs with lavish entertainment and entertainment, and have a kiss with such a world-class supermodel, you must at least have a net worth of hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it is probably equivalent to more than one million dollars here. Florin coins!”
This amount of money, which had exceeded the imagination limit of medieval Europeans, immediately frightened Boccaccio, who had just been a little lustful.
"...What? More than one million florins? God! You are not mistaken! Even the king may not have such a lot of property! I have seen the accounts of the Florence Mint before, even if I put all the money in circulation in the world The total number of gold florins may not be one million!”
Boccaccio murmured this, but his eyes were still staring straight at the screen of the smartphone, reluctant to move away, "...However, being able to see such a scene is probably a blessing... ...Huh? The scene seems to have changed? This, my God...this is..."
I don't know why, but his eyes suddenly became more and more sparkling, and the breathing in his nostrils gradually became heavier.
Seeing this, Wang Qiu couldn't help but blinked in confusion. He also turned to look at the screen of his smartphone and found that the video file of the "Victoria's Secret" angel-themed underwear show had finished playing and entered the next video file, " "PLAYBOY" ("Playboy")'s cat-eared girl special photo film, the interesting scenes are definitely more exciting than the previous film It makes people's blood boil: a group of sexy cat-eared ladies with almost completely naked bodies, delicate and white skin, and graceful figures, wearing only cat-ear hairpins, bell collars, toy cat claws and plug-in cat tails, are infinite. Meowing coquettishly, sticking out her pink little tongue, and being cute and sexy around a strong young man with eight-pack abs, blowing, licking and sucking...
Seeing such an undisguised carnival of lust, even Queen Joanna and Mr. Boccaccio present, both of whom had been bed-ridden for a long time and were not young children, couldn't help but blush. And the great writer Boccaccio, who was originally exhausted of ideas, suddenly opened his mind and found that he seemed to have inspiration...
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One day later, the city of Florence, the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore, the temporary residence of the time traveler "angels" in this city
"...Oh my God! Look, look what all this stuff is? I asked him to write some hymns and short essays praising cats, but what did he come up with? A bunch of dirty jokes describing how to knock down the cat-eared girl And erotic poems! ! Do you want priests to preach in brothels? ”
Bathed in the colorful sunlight that shines into the room through the stained glass mosaic, looking at the pile of paper rolls with wet ink in front of him, Doraemon couldn't help but feel the veins on his forehead jumping, and complained to Wang Qiu who was delivering the manuscript, " ...What on earth does this Mr. Boccaccio do? ”
"...Hey, actually this is not bad! Doraemon, after all, he has been engaged in pornographic literature for decades. If you ask him to switch to writing popular science explanatory articles, wouldn't it be difficult for him? Moreover, using If these things are promoted, at least more cat ear hairpins, toy cat paws, bell collars and cat tails can be sold, which is equivalent to establishing a positive social image of cats in a sense..."
Ma Tong came over with a smile to smooth things over, "...According to my opinion! Generally speaking, those who like to have sex with cat-eared girls, even if they don't particularly love cats, at least they don't hate cats very much!" She said He said this in a nonchalant manner as usual.
"...That's not necessarily the case! Miss Ma Tong! Many office workers like those girls from custom shops who wear revealing leather clothes and dress up like little devils, but will they like real devils?" Doraemon was very sharp. He complained, but then he rubbed his head with a headache and sighed, "...Okay Well! Now that it's all done, even if it's just waste, let's just print these little pornographic articles into leaflets and distribute them. Anyway, it shouldn't be anything particularly important. Now there's a bigger problem that needs to be solved. How to deal with the total..."
"...A bigger trouble? Is it because I haven't been able to raise money in Florence recently?" Wang Qiu asked with a frown.
"...That's not true. Florence is also a famous financial center anyway. Wall Street in the Renaissance era was full of rich people - of course, based on the wealth standards of this era. Although most of their properties Located on the accounts, real money compares like anywhere else It is relatively scarce, but at least 2 billion yen worth of property should be able to be scraped together... Just now, the bank of the Medici family sent a representative to send 10,000 gold florins, and the church in Florence can also Take out at least fifty thousand florins in kind and cash..."
Doraemon explained this, and then changed the topic, "...the real problems are in those places where we have raised funds - the old man Pope just came over and complained to us, For we had plundered all the churches and monasteries, and carried away many There is a small treasury for many people, and some church members in Rome and Avignon are very resentful now. Although they dare not openly confront us angels, they are always passive in their work and refuse to properly preach the sanctity of cats, even among the people. Spread bad words about us everywhere..."
"...Oh my god! These bastards are so ungrateful!" Wang Qiu's eyes widened when he heard this, "...if it weren't for us, most of them would probably have died." How can we care about the money? Besides, we haven’t touched their most valuable real estate!”
"...There is no way! One moment and the other! When they are sick and about to die, they naturally want to give up all their family property in exchange for their own health. But when they recover, they begin to feel distressed again, regretful, and even Why don't we treat diseases and save people for free?" Doraemon sighed helplessly again, "...No matter what era we are in, human desires are always rising and never-ending..."