Chapter 60: Total Collapse of the Middle Ages (Part 1)
December 31, 1348, Kingdom of England, Oxford, "Hogwarts School of Divinity"
The cold wind blowing from the endless permafrost glaciers in the Arctic Ocean and Scandinavia will pass through the leaden-grey foam of the North Sea every year in the middle of winter, roaring across the entire Great Britain. The island howls and spreads its endless breath of frost onto the heads of every Scotsman and Englishman. Since the terrain of this island is generally relatively low and lacks steep mountains that can block the cold current, even Oxford, at the southern tip of the island of Great Britain, cannot avoid the disturbance of wind, snow and severe cold - earlier, with the cold current and snow Landing on the British beaches together is often the leading ship of the Viking pirates. However, people in England in this era no longer need to worry about the presence of Viking pirates: because the Plantagenet dynasty that currently rules them and will rule until the twenty-first century is the descendant of a group of Viking pirates.
In the 1,348th year after the birth of Jesus, the winter of this dark year when the great plague swept across Europe seemed to be even more difficult than in previous years. As soon as November entered, a few light snowfalls fell intermittently. Even on days when it doesn't snow, the sky is always filled with thick, dark clouds, blocking all the sunlight. It's obviously just after noon, but it's already as dark as after dusk.
Just after Christmas, a blanketing snowstorm roared in. The snow powder flying in the leaden sky was so dense that it was almost sticky, covering the fields, forests, mountains and cities with a thick white coat. The eaves of the buildings in the city are covered with densely packed crystal ice. Even the Thames River was covered with ice overnight. The snow piled on the streets of Oxford requires all Hogwarts students to mobilize and use fire spells to complete the basic cleaning work. As for the roads in the wild, they are completely unreachable.
However, although the weather outside is so cold that it turns to ice, in the banquet hall of Hogwarts College located in an ancient tower, red charcoal is burning in the huge fireplace, making everyone attending the New Year's banquet feel like They all felt as warm as spring.
——Even if they are in a miserable world on the verge of death and destruction!
Since the total learning content is only thirty spells, this copycat version of Hogwarts Academy has become a two-week short training class. At the end of the year, the fifth batch of regular students has successfully graduated-and this The number of students in the batch quickly expanded to four hundred.
As for the literacy class set up by the remaining teachers and students of the former Oxford University, it has recruited nearly a thousand students, ranging from lolita young ladies to old men and old ladies: after the large-scale emergence of magic and the world entered the magical age, as long as Anyone with a discerning eye can see that the knight's armor and sword have been eclipsed by [Pyrotechnics] and [Dragon Slash]. "Knowledge is power" has become an ironclad fact...
In the same way, after teaching the first batch of students, the time travelers basically got rid of the heavy teaching work and directly appointed some graduates to serve as Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Slaters. The deans and instructors of Lin's Fourth Branch used the natives of this time and space to teach spells and spells to the younger students in the form of "old students leading new students", and the teaching effect seemed to be pretty good.
——Joan, Queen of England, as a landowner and one of the first graduates of "angelic" professors. Plantagenet herself served as the first Head of Ravenclaw. As for the dean of Gryffindor, the Pope appointed his physician Jolick to serve. Queen Joanna of Naples is very interested in mastering Hufflepuff House because she also graduated from Hufflepuff House. Unfortunately, her country is in dire need and has many affairs. Even if there is a [Random Gate], she cannot stay in England for a long time. So "paladin" Sister Louise, a member of "Sister" Levi, won the favor of Doraemon because she was good at playing with cats. She rose to become the first Hufflepuff Headmistress, achieving a status equal to the Queen of England. ……
Finally, there was the position of Head of Slytherin, which the Venetian originally wanted to take. But others believed that the Venetians had taken advantage of the plague crisis to greatly expand their sphere of influence and had taken too much advantage. They must be humble on this matter... In the end of the argument, Boga of Florence actually got the advantage. Qiu, a libertine and great writer, made him the chief instructor of male therapists in Italy!
Of course, as a guy who makes a living by writing and talking, Boccaccio is indeed one of the best people in mastering "spells"...
As for the most noble position of Headmaster of Hogwarts, it seems that only the Pope is qualified to hold the position in this era - of course, His Majesty the Pope has many things to do and is busy with affairs, and cannot stay in Oxford all day, so he only uses his name. In fact, all academic affairs are still handled by the four branches.
At this moment, the four deans and their teachers were sitting on the teachers' bench on the high platform of the banquet hall, listening to the principal's speech.
"...Ahem, the year that just passed was a dark and sad year. Millions, even tens of millions, of Christians were called by the Lord amidst the catastrophe of the great plague and left this world. . The panicked people were so devastated that they even thought the end of the world was coming.
In the past tragic year, every country in Europe suffered pain and destruction unseen in a century. From Denmark to Sicily, every once-prosperous region was devastated. Cities were reduced to ruins, and villages were reduced to wilderness. Whether they were poor or rich, nobles or serfs, they could only wait desperately for death to come. Even now, the situation in the world is still not optimistic. The area that has been saved is only a small part of Europe as a whole. In the East, in Denmark, Hungary, and Bohemia, the terrible plague continued to rage. Even in Britain and France around us, not every town had the plague put out in time. Thousands of believers in the Lord are still struggling in despair and illness, waiting for the salvation of Almighty God..."
Standing in front of the high platform in the banquet hall, the first honorary principal of Hogwarts College, His Majesty Pope Clement VI, looked slightly haggard, coughing slightly, and after just attending events in Rome and Avignon, he delivered today's speech ’s third New Year’s speech - With the help of the magical [Random Door], the medieval dignitaries temporarily have the miraculous ability to move quickly, but this also invisibly increases their workload a lot.
"...But this is also a miraculous year, a glorious year, a great year! When our world fell into darkness and destruction, the Supreme God finally heard the cry for help from the devout believers and sent the Holy Spirit The angels who gave us divine grace not only healed our sufferings! Our ailing bodies have purified and sublimated our souls! As an unprecedented grace, God has even generously given mortals the magical powers that you have mastered. This means an era of miracles! Coming soon...
The past year was unfortunate but also memorable. The omnipotent God not only used a great plague to test the world and eliminate those who were too cowardly or with bad conduct, but also gave us the necessary courage, wisdom and talent to overcome All the disasters in the world! You must use the powers given by God carefully and use them to serve the Lord as much as possible, rather than just seeking personal gain and using God's power to satisfy your selfish desires. Such behavior simply betrays God's kindness. , is a serious crime of blasphemy, and you must go to hell after death..."
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After finally waiting for the end of the Pope's lengthy speech emphasizing the importance of the church and faith, the fifth graduating class of Hogwarts School, who had been impatient for a long time, lined up to take the stage one by one and received the gift from Doraemon. Received the cat ear hairpin and toy representing the graduation certificate The cat's tail is happily worn on the body - of course, this cat's tail is hung on the belt, rather than inserted somewhere in the buttocks, otherwise it will be fine in the summer, but once winter comes, these The guy's butt is about to freeze into a lump of ice because he can't put on his pants!
Next, the band, which had already been prepared, began to play cheerful music with lutes, flutes, and snare drums. Dining tables made of large oak boards were brought in by the servants. The tabletops were also covered with linen tablecloths. The lighting provided for the banquet was not dim and choked torches or oil lamps, but was provided by students according to the instructions. The [Light Technique] used in shifts... made the metal tableware and plates shine brightly, which was very pleasing to the eye. The wine packed in wooden barrels and the home-brewed mead in large stoneware urns also have some rustic charm.
But these medieval British dishes on the table made Wang Qiu, the "angel," stare blankly and lose all his appetite in an instant - modern people who are familiar with European food know that Northern Europeans rely on potatoes for meals, and Southern Europeans Their food depends on tomatoes, and they simply cannot live without these two things. And Britain is a sad country famous for its potatoes and gays. Wang Qiu has felt that the British have an extreme lack of imagination when it comes to food since he was a child, because judging from British TV dramas and British classics, what they eat every day seems to be: beef boiled with potatoes, mutton boiled with potatoes, pork boiled with potatoes, and roast beef. Potatoes, roasted lamb and potatoes, roasted pork and potatoes, beef and potato soup, lamb and potato soup, pork and potato soup...
The only world-class dish in the UK that can be said to be famous is grilled fish and chips... which is what is written in middle school English textbooks.
When Wang Qiu got a little older, he saw the legendary British dishes "Stargazing Pie" (countless fish heads stuck on the pie to look up at the stars), "Chocolate Roasted Eggplant", "Goat Milk Boiled Oranges" from the Internet ", "Pineapple boiled in jelly" and other dark dishes with unsightly shapes and indescribable tastes, the status of British cuisine in Wang Qiu's mind has further risen from "ordinary" to "scary".
So, before potatoes, pineapples, chocolate and other American specialties came to Europe, were British recipes a little more normal?
At least, before the New Year Appreciation Banquet carefully prepared by Hogwarts students, Wang Qiu was looking forward to it - but when these dishes were served, Wang Qiu discovered with infinite despair that, as early as in the distant place, In the Middle Ages, the British had already distorted the technology tree in terms of cooking, turning it into a dark country of cuisine that is extremely strange in the eyes of modern people! This is true for both Scots and English!
Not to mention the black bread that was so hard that it could be used as a brick to kill someone - in fact, even the white bread from the Middle Ages was as hard as the modern French baguette. Even the main course served at the banquet made Wang Qiu feel unbearable.
First of all, let’s be clear, medieval Europeans ate almost anything! Many Europeans who lived a better life in later generations no longer bothered to care about things that they even thought were cruel and disgusting, such as sewage and viscera. The hungry and red-eyed poor people in the Middle Ages also ate them. For example, the "national dish" haggis, which is served as the highlight of the show by Scottish students, is made of sheep's stomach filled with haggis... What's more terrible is that Europeans who behave in a rough way are not as willing to cook offal as the Chinese. It takes too much effort to wash the large intestines and cut the kidneys. It is too troublesome for them. They only know to chop them into pieces and stuff them into some container, or throw them into a big pot and stew them. People can find a lot of dirt inside at a glance. The messy stuff is really off-putting.
So, looking at the greasy sheep stomach stuffed with haggis on the plate, and the strange-smelling offal soup in the small pot, as a Jiangnan native who never tires of eating, Wang Qiu was stunned for a long time with his spoon. , I just didn’t dare to put it in my mouth, and in the end I had to give it all to a few low-level servants who were drooling.
The dishes of Scotland in the Middle Ages were so unpalatable, and the dishes of England seemed not to be much better - first of all, the later-famous "starry sky pie", in which a group of fish heads poked on the pie and stared at Wang Qiu. Moreover, the fish inside the cake was not fresh fish, but stinky salted fish. It was so stinky that Wang Qiu thought it came from canned Swedish herring, so he had to cover his nose and order the servant to bring it out immediately and give it to the poor... In addition, the imaginative chefs of medieval England also explored the creativity of the "starry sky pie": they poked not only fish heads, but also whole crabs and crabs on the hot pie crust. lobster! ! !
In short, Wang Qiu was almost dumbfounded as he stared at the ferocious crab claws and lobster claws poked out of the cake crust. He could not understand the thinking of medieval English chefs at all - although China also has snacks such as crab meat lion heads, but After all, the crab meat is peeled off and then put into the dish. How can you use the whole crabs and lobsters as stuffings without even peeling off the shells? Do you have a grudge against the diners’ teeth, or do you hope that their lip skin and cheek flesh will be poked with crab claws?
However, when he looked around in shock to see how other people enjoyed this dish, he was even more horrified to find that except for some girls, most of the boys actually picked up these crab and lobster pies. It makes a crunching sound while chewing, and spits out Take out a few pieces of broken shells and swallow the whole shrimps and crabs with the pancakes - well, the diamond teeth of medieval Europeans who were fully trained by the black bread that is comparable to stones every day really make me more delicate and expensive. , Modern people with fragile teeth are amazed! And next, the chefs in England worked hard to present an even bigger "surprise" to all the "angels"...