Chapter 206 Remember, your children are just one of your many roles
After the girl finished speaking,
The defense was broken on the barrage.
"Oh my god, someone come and save her. She needs to live well. She is only 15 years old and her life has not begun yet (crying to death)."
"Why are there such terrible parents in the world who don't love their children? Who will save her?"
"I feel so sorry for her, I really feel sorry for her."
"Why is the world so unfair (angry)?"
"I was chopped by my father with a kitchen knife. I went to the hospital at 3:00 in the morning to get some stitches. Years later, he asked me where the scar came from (wry smile)."
Oh my god, I'm so suffocated!
"I was pulling a suitcase alone, and I spent 38 yuan on my body and 6.5 yuan to get on the bus to the city. Looking at the restaurants, every one of them asked if they could keep me. My salary could be reduced. I slept with the park director. He slept on a chair, slept in a public toilet, and ate a steamed bun several times. Who knows how I survived. I will never forgive him.”
Brother, you have become a god at this moment
admire!
"It took a long time for the baby to be able to say this (hug)."
"This answer warms me to the point of bursting into tears."
"That day my dad grabbed my hair, dragged me from the toilet to the door, and asked me to pay back the money he had paid for me to go to school over the years. This is my dad."
"Don't do stupid things, sister, it's not worth it!"
"You can't do this, don't destroy yourself."
"Baby run."
"Small fish, swim quickly, there is freedom in all directions."
. . . . . .
Lin Feng: "Sister, look at the barrage. Do you think you are the only one who is having a hard time?
You really think too much.
You are not so lucky to have God give trouble to you alone.
When you feel that life is too hard, there are still people who work hard just to stay alive.
Have you been to the hospital?
Have you ever seen suffering?
Didn't you see it?
Come,
Let me tell you today what suffering is.
The two-year-old baby was diagnosed with heart disease after birth and stayed in the ICU for more than a year with tubes inserted all over his body.
6 central veins, 1 infusion tube, 7 holes in the small body,
Severe pneumonia completely shrank the baby's brain,
The poor mother didn't want her child to suffer, so she pulled out the child's oxygen tube with her own hands with tears in her eyes.
When the oxygen tube was pulled out, the child cried loudly, and soon began to tremble all over, and then turned purple all over.
The mother broke down crying while holding her child, and kept calling for her son.
Until the child is gone,
She didn't even hear the child call mother.
His father died in a car accident and his mother remarried. The five-year-old boy received an indwelling injection and was hospitalized by himself to send specimens.
The doctor asked where his parents were. The boy calmly said that his father was dead and his mother no longer wanted him.
There was no emotion in his voice. He was only 5 years old, and he could already see a little happiness and innocence on his face.
A seven-year-old girl, whose whole body was covered with malignant tumors, had to undergo four surgeries. The pain was unbearable, and her screams of pain echoed throughout the ward.
An eight-year-old boy suffered internal bleeding and fell into coma. His blood had to be replaced three times.
There is a special ward in the No. 8 People's Hospital of Shanghai where abandoned children live.
Some were just born, and some were already over ten years old, suffering from malignant tumors and paralyzed legs. . . ”
After Lin Feng finished speaking, the girl fell silent.
Lin Feng: "Sister, when I say this, I really am not underestimating your suffering, nor am I emphasizing that others must suffer more than you.
Because pain cannot be compared.
I just want you to understand that the difficulties of life are shared by all living beings. This is not a movie, this is reality.
There are too many people born in the abyss. If they don’t want to die in the abyss, they can only climb up. ”
Lin Feng paused for a moment,
He continued: "We have talked about suffering enough, now I will solve your confusion.
Don't you understand why your parents don't love you?
I'll give you the answer today. ”
Lin Feng waved behind him, and Yu Huanshui quickly pulled the big whiteboard closer, and then handed Lin Feng a pen.
Lin Feng reached out to take it, turned and walked to the whiteboard and quickly wrote four big words: "Intergenerational inheritance."
What is intergenerational inheritance?
Psychologically speaking, in the original family, if parents have their own trauma, they will unconsciously pass this trauma to their children,
To put it bluntly, it is passed from grandparents to parents, and from parents to children. If the children cannot come out, they will be passed on to their grandchildren, and it becomes a family curse.
In psychology, when a person experiences severe trauma and he is unable to repair it, the trauma will be passed on to the next generation like their genes.
Compulsive repetition eventually develops.
For example, if you have an anxious mother, you will find that the children she raises are insecure.
For example, most of these children will be afraid of inferiority after entering society. Even if they enter into intimate relationships, they will be anxious and restless. They will constantly seek the love and approval of others throughout their lives and worry about gains and losses.
For example, some parents have a strong memory for others and habitually make malicious assumptions about others.
Then his child is likely to have copied this hostile relationship pattern since he was a child, even if the child himself realizes that his parents’ ideas are too extreme,
But when children grow up, they will still find it difficult to trust others and are accustomed to being suspicious in close relationships, and it is very easy to conflict with others.
This caused a relationship that was originally good to eventually break up.
There are also fathers who are accustomed to domestic violence. When their sons grow up, they will tend to use violence to solve problems.
Even if they restrain themselves most of the time, once they lose control, they are still very likely to attack their family members.
So I often tell you that when choosing a spouse, you must look at the other person’s family of origin,
It is because if a person has not awakened from the karma of his original family, then he has no way to change his destiny,
He will be constantly sealed by obsessions such as fear, restlessness, inferiority, and violence. He will be unable to move.
Let’s talk about a statistic: a family will have a stubborn child within three generations.
This child is rebellious, stubborn and disobedient,
But this child is often the most likely to help the family achieve class crossing,
Because only such children will betray their original family,
Only then can one personally cut off the karmic inheritance of the original family. ”
. . . . .
On the barrage.
"Intergenerational Inheritance" "Family Curse"
Haha,
So that’s it!
Enlightenment.
"I have told myself since I was a child that I will not marry a person like my father or become a person like my mother."
"Afraid of marrying someone like my father, afraid of becoming like my mother, afraid that my children will be like me."
"But my children will look like me after all (hey)."
"It's really despairing. When you are particularly annoyed by a certain point in your parents, you suddenly find that you have inherited this point."
"Then you will especially hate yourself."
"It's very real, and I was affected unconsciously."
Hey
"I don't have such a strong spiritual core, and I can't change myself. The only thing I can do is not to have children, and I have successfully cut off the family karma inheritance."
"But you are kind."
"I am also unmarried and infertile, so my genes are nothing to pass on (wry smile)."
"Yes, same idea."
“What’s funny is that parents still ask themselves why they don’t want children (subject)?”
"The greatest self-discipline for adults is not to have children indiscriminately. When you don't feel a strong sense of happiness yourself, you must not have children indiscriminately. Of course, if you are against it, you are right."
Hahahahaha.
"I am that stubborn, rebellious and unfilial son that my parents, relatives and friends call me. But after I left my original family, I really lived a good life, free and happy, and very satisfied with myself."
"Satisfying yourself is the best gift to yourself. Those low-income people just follow the crowd and don't have the courage to face their true selves."
"Congratulations on your new life. This requires a lot of repression and courage."
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "How to break the intergenerational inheritance? There must be a generation of people who in the process of growing up, due to their excessive pain, take the initiative to seek relief and be willing to improve themselves. This is called self-healing.
But many people may feel that self-healing is too difficult, and they have tried countless times to communicate with their parents, but all failed.
In fact, your behavior is not called self-healing.
Self-healing must be sought inward, not outward.
So whether you use blame and resentment or chat to communicate with your parents,
Essentially, I hope that your parents can raise you again and love you again.
What you do is called healing others.
And the result must be incurable.
Because the family karma of parents is deep in the bone marrow and cannot be awakened. So what is self-healing?
To put it more realistically, it is betraying one's original family.
How to betray?
The first step is to stop thinking your parents are pitiful.
Remember,
Your parents’ suffering has nothing to do with you,
It has nothing to do with you that your parents are having a hard time
Your parents' bad relationship has nothing to do with you,
It has nothing to do with you, which means that these things are not caused by you, and you do not need to rush to solve these problems, nor do you need to feel guilty, blame and kidnap yourself for these things.
Yes,
Many parents have had a rough life and suffered a lot,
But these are all caused by their countless choices and are their own life issues,
Don't get kidnapped easily just because they said they were all for you.
Can they reach the peak of life without you?
Parents' emotional discord and marital crisis are matters between themselves.
The children have grown up, but they still can’t handle their marriage relationship, and they still use the children as an excuse. This is the real problem,
So what do you have to blame yourself for?
You have to remember that you are the protagonist of your life.
Being their son or daughter is just one of your many roles.
Parents' lives, whether good or bad, are the choices and results of their own choices,
You are their child, but you are not their emotional trash can, nor are you a pawn used for control. Your own life should not be dragged down by their fate.
To love them and care for them does not mean to bear their fate.
There are thousands of ways to express love and gratitude, but the last thing you should do is to sacrifice your own life to shoulder their responsibilities. ”
. . . . .
On the barrage
"You must remember that you are the protagonist of your life"
"As their children" "Just one of your many roles"
Oh my God,
Very well said!
"In summary, don't try to change your parents, don't expect redemption, only self-improvement and self-salvation are the most useful."
"But some parents will always call you, always want you to know their pain, always want you to get involved. Every time when I am happy, my mother calls me to tell me about his grievances, and I suddenly feel happy. I’m not happy, I’m broken down, I don’t understand why it’s like this every time.”
"I feel like I'm going to collapse now. Every time I see my mother calling me or sending me a video, I suddenly feel very irritable and upset."
"I am broken by being forcefully indoctrinated into their thoughts."
"I broke free, but I was said to be cold-blooded, said to not care about others, said to be ignorant, and said to be a white-eyed wolf."
"Help, it's true."
"Irresponsible dad, mom who complains every day, hysterical me, I act like a crazy woman at home."
"It's too painful and depressing. My mother said she didn't know who to talk to, but she never thought about how uncomfortable I felt when I listened to these words. They never know what a broken marriage like theirs has done to their children. How big is the trauma? I’m obviously trying to get out of this life, so why is he still following me around trying to pull me back into the whirlpool?”
"The whole family is using moral kidnapping. If possible, I really don't want to be born."
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "The second step in self-healing is independence.
I tell everyone that the best way to get out of your original family is to be independent,
If you cry and complain about the pain of your original family,
But at the same time, they can’t escape from the common roof and the comfort of having breakfast and dinner,
Then I tell you, your soul can never belong to you,
Being kidnapped by our original family when we were minors is a past in which we have no choice.
When you become an adult, if you are still kidnapped by your original family, it is your choice to become a giant baby,
Don't use me as an excuse for evasion and cowardice.
How many people are still living with their parents? If you don’t even have the courage to leave the living environment with them,
You can only maintain bad patterns for the rest of your life.
Why?
Because I heard that the academic qualifications, knowledge, and foresight of these two people are far inferior to those of your older generation. Don’t you think it’s ridiculous to teach you how to grow and learn?
Listening to two people who may have never met true love in this life, teach you how to face love and how to manage a marriage. Under such influence and interference, how can you control your own life?
Those wounds that you have suffered, those wounds that are difficult to heal, will not heal under the same circumstances.
Only by taking the initiative to leave your family of origin can you create a better living environment,
Take the initiative to deprive them of their right to interfere and control you, and choose the way you like to grow,
You can build relationships that make you happy in your own space.
Only then can your brain have space to heal the scars of your past.
Still the same sentence,
The prerequisite for spiritual independence is always material independence. ”
. . . . .
On the barrage
"Who wants to leave home together?"
"I'm going to college soon. I don't plan to go home during the holidays. Anyway, there's nothing worth remembering, so that's it."
"I must study hard and go out to escape from these families of origin."
"I moved out, and they told people everywhere that I ran away with someone else (crying to death)."
"Don't worry about them, they will take advantage of you later. If you develop well, you will have the confidence to have a career."
"I want to escape from my original family, but I can't let go. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad."
"Me too, I feel so uncomfortable that I am internally consumed and recovering at the same time. I want to think about it now, but I can't think about it now."
The river flows: "The native family is not a temporary heavy rain, but a lifetime of moisture."
Because there is sunshine after the heavy rain, but the humidity is always cloudy.
Oh my god, these words are killing me! ! (cry to death)
"Really, this kind of humidity has caused me to suffer from spiritual rheumatism all my life. Every time I see others in the bright sun, my rheumatism aches..."
"I was staying at a friend's house for dinner during the holidays. I saw my friend and his parents joking with each other. I was really shocked. At the same time, I felt that I was ridiculous for being shocked. I was really like a voyeur watching someone so healthy. I feel helpless and envious of a loving family.”
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "The above remarks are only for those children from ordinary families. Even if they leave their original family, I have nothing to lose.
Not suitable for that kind of wealthy family,
If you have a very large inheritance to inherit, don't mess with them, just give in. ”
Ha ha ha ha.
The heavy atmosphere was relieved by Lin Feng's joke.
Lin Feng: "Sister, I have given you all your doubts and answers. Your life has your own cause and effect, and I don't want to get involved.
This is also the reason why I have only done emotional analysis and not helped people make decisions.
But for you,
I'm going to make an exception.
Now that you have passed high school, I suggest you continue studying.
Move out of your home and live on campus.
I will be responsible for the tuition fees for living on campus and your living expenses for the next three years.
You can think of it as a kind of financial aid for poor students.
You don't need to pay back the money, so there is no need for psychological pressure.
At the same time, I don’t have any requirements for your study and life.
You can be at the top of the class, or you can be at the bottom of the class.
I just hope you remember,
Your life is your own. Don't keep saying that I have the final say in my life. After you go back, it will be entirely someone else's decision.
In the past 15 years, your mother has been your master, and your father has been your master.
Do you want me, a caring person, to be your master from now on?
So, sister,
Go ahead and mess around.
Think clearly about what kind of life you want, and then make your life what you want it to be. ”
Attached
[Military Advisor’s Comments: People whose native families are not good, if they take a few slow shots a few times, they are already very good. Don’t blame yourself,
Because when others are growing up, you are still trapped in the internal friction of your original family,
While others are working on their careers, you are still working on yourself.
Although those who climb to the top of the mountain are very powerful, the way you climb up step by step from the abyss is also full of courage. 】
(End of chapter)