Chapter 205 I can give advice, but I generally don’t want to give it
"Thank you, military advisor, I understand."
The girl is very calm at this moment.
Really let go.
Lin Feng: "Okay, let's go down."
. . . . .
On the barrage.
"This guy is so awesome, he takes on all kinds of business now."
"Hahaha, let's expand the track in the off-season."
"No, I also want to order a song for my ex-boyfriend."
"What song?"
"What kind of man are you!"
"To be honest, do you just want to see the military advisor being scolded (sunglasses)?"
Hahahahaha.
. . . . .
The wheat is hung up,
Lin Feng said to the live broadcast room:
“I saw a lot of messages attacking girls on the barrage just now. Don’t be like this, brothers.
As long as it doesn't happen to you, it will look like a joke to others.
But I tell you,
If two people who really love each other break up, there will definitely be one party who is struggling with it, unwilling to let go, or even clinging to it.
A lot of people look down on it, saying they are not free and easy,
Some people think it’s not necessary at all
If you break up, break up, and the next one will be better behaved.
But do you think he is stupid?
Doesn't he know?
Doesn't he know that it's easier to start a new relationship than to be together again?
But why is he still unwilling to let go?
Just because of love.
The humbler the person is, the more entangled he is with you, he must be the one who loves you more.
Because no one in this world is willing to lose their dignity and face, and people all over the world will use various methods to contact you and find you again and again,
He may not even care how cold, decisive, or even disdainful your attitude towards him is.
He can lower his posture to cater to you and please you,
Because he knows he really loves you,
He really doesn’t want to let go like this,
Then I missed someone who could last a lifetime,
Otherwise, who would take the initiative to be humble?
Is he crazy?
Is he stupid? ”
. . . . .
On the barrage
"No one in the world is willing to lose self-esteem and face" "Just because he loves you more"
Oh my God,
Very well said.
"Yes, I am the one who is obsessed with you."
"I also struggled yesterday. If you don't really love her to the core, who would be willing to be so humble? It's really tiring."
"We broke up after three years of dating. I only eat two mouthfuls of food a day. I always wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. I feel distressed and panicked. Sometimes I can't breathe. But for a moment I feel relaxed, but then I am immediately occupied by sadness."
"I can't post in Moments or Douyin. I write my feelings in the comment area but I'm afraid that people I know will see them. I've become a person who can't even be free with my mood. I can only read the comments in Douyin silently. In other people's Take a seat in the story and give a like to express yourself.”
"I looked ugly when I was stalking you, but that was my last goodbye."
"On the road that I am going through, being stalked is very unbearable and humiliating, but this is the last way to say goodbye. When you are exhausted, you will let it go."
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "By the way, there is another point that I want to emphasize with my brothers, which is this sense of boundaries.
Brothers,
The sense of boundaries is really important,
I think in this world, except for your significant other, you should know how to avoid suspicion and have a sense of boundaries towards all other people of the opposite sex.
Don’t talk about things other than things, and don’t share fragments of life beyond the boundaries,
It is even more forbidden to pick up and send gifts from the opposite sex in the name of friends,
Proportion is always the most important thing in heterosexual relationships.
Do you know how the betrayal started?
The answer is small talk.
When you chat for a long time, you will want to meet,
I want to hug you when we meet,
Hug and want to have,
Once we have it, we want to be together.
You will find that people are greedy.
There are no gentlemen in this world. It is easy for people of the opposite sex to have feelings for each other.
When you can't control your limits, it's only a matter of time before you cross the line.
Therefore, maintaining a sense of propriety and drawing clear boundaries with the opposite sex is not self-discipline, but the most basic respect and responsibility for your partner.
In a relationship, you have to understand what you can't do,
What can I do to lose me?
No matter how good the relationship is, once trust is broken, it can never be restored. ”
. . . . .
On the barrage.
"All betrayals begin with flirting."
"Brothers, remember, when your girlfriend agrees to another man's friend request, you have already lost."
"If you lose, change."
"It's better for you to be open-minded."
Ha ha ha ha.
"My husband and I have a strong sense of boundaries. We haven't contacted each other for ten days. I wonder if he is still alive?"
"I feel like I also have a sense of boundaries, because everyone who chats with me just stops talking."
"It's gone... Is that the kind of thing that's gone?"
Hahahahaha.
. . . .
Lin Feng smiled and shook his head as he watched the barrages on the public screen becoming more and more outrageous.
Next one.
Ding~
"Hello, Military Advisor!"
It's a girl.
Lin Feng: "Hello, do you have any emotional problems?"
"Military advisor, I would like to ask, in addition to giving some love advice, do you also give some advice to family and parents?"
Lin Feng: "I can give it, but I usually don't want to give it."
"Why?"
Lin Feng: "Family relations, parental relations, we talk about the problem of the original family, it is very complicated,
It doesn’t mean that you can make some decisions after I say it,
Because people in our country have a very strong sense of family and blood,
Even if you are in pain, you still can't cut it off. "
Girl: "There is no solution!"
Lin Feng: "Yes, there is no solution.". . . . .
On the barrage.
"You want money but not money, you want love but not love. From time to time, you will scold me and belittle me. You will call me trash at every turn. There is no privacy. Insults are a must. Anxiety is a must. Pain is always there. Girl. Guys, 321 dance with me (laughing to death)”
"Hahaha, are you reporting my ID card?"
"So true!"
"I really can't live anymore."
"Jump together (dog heads)."
"Jumped (crying to death)."
"The family of origin is never blamed because the parents have no money or ability. What everyone really cannot accept is the vanity, selfishness, narrow-mindedness, and oppression of the parents..."
"The funniest thing is, my dad pointed at my nose today and scolded me, saying I don't know who I am like to be so selfish (speechless)."
"Of course it's like you, Lao Deng!"
Really impressed!
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "I know there are many brothers in the room whose native families are not very good. I think you must also go to your parents to discuss it, try to convince them, or adopt your opinions,
Brothers who have experienced it must know that this is very difficult,
It can even be said that it is almost impossible to succeed.
Why?
Because communication needs to be at the same level with a high degree of cognitive similarity and frequency, and at the same level where conflicts of interest are not obvious, in order to be effective.
And your parents are not on the same wavelength as you, nor do they have the same goals as you, or even at the same level as you.
Let’s just say that in our country, parents have a natural sense of oppression and class superiority towards their children,
They don’t want to communicate with you to solve the problem,
They just want you to obey,
The subtext of obedience is to listen to my orders, do things for me, and execute them for me.
In fact, you will find that this is an order from the leader to his subordinates,
When a leader gives such an absolute order to his subordinates, and he just wants you to obey, and the subordinates try to communicate with him, then the leader will only think that you are provoking my authority,
So your parents will think of you the same way.
At this time, your parents will usually label you as rebellious and ignorant,
But are you really rebellious and ignorant?
No,
You just want to take back the initiative in your life.
And your parents won't allow it at this time.
He wants to firmly hold the initiative in your life, so it is completely ineffective for us to communicate with our parents.
Because the key to whether children and parents can solve problems through communication is not in the hands of the children, but in the hands of the parents.
When your parents can let go of their desire for superiority and power, they can listen to you with equal respect.
Otherwise, there must be layers of barriers between you and your parents.
So if you want to take the initiative in your life at this time, the method you use is not communication, but means.
What means?
It is when you have no strength, such as when you are still a student, when you have no resources and no job,
Whatever you say in front of your parents, even if you say the words of a professor at Yanda, even if you say the most reasonable words in the world, will be farts in the eyes of your parents.
The most common trick of this kind of parents is to crush them with their strength.
What is strength crushing?
It's when you have absolute power or command huge wealth.
At this time, if your parents can be smarter and understand the situation clearly, they will automatically give way.
Very realistic,
It’s also cruel! ”
. . . .
On the barrage.
"Summary: If you want to have the right to speak in front of your parents, that is when you have absolute power and huge wealth (grin)."
"Yes, and I listened to you, not discussed with you, because they never communicate."
"In other words, either you obey him or he obeys you (speechless)."
"What a reality, so scary (horror)."
"There is no way, as long as you can solve problems through communication, you will not have problems with your original family."
"So I envy those whose native families are good, loving, and warm. They don't grow up with oppression like me. I have very low self-esteem now."
"I used to communicate with them and have a good talk, but in the end it was basically a quarrel. At the end of the quarrel, my mother would say ugly things. One time my father even hit me. I knew I couldn't communicate with them. .”
"We communicated once and we are honest (smile)."
"So don't try to complain to the bully (dog head)."
"I almost forgot that my parents were the first ones to bully me, and they were also the ones who bullied me the most (crying to death)."
"Although many people use this sentence as a joke, for me, it really means that when I grow up, I find that there are many good people in society. Fortunately, my friends are very good, which partially healed me."
Why!
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "Come on, sister, I may not be able to help you, but since we are connected to this line, I and the 13,000 brothers in the room are your audience. Tell me your story."
The girl was silent for a while and said: "Although I am a 15-year-old junior high school graduate, I must first say that I am a child, not a fool."
15 years old?
Lin Feng was startled.
So small.
The girl started to say: "My dad's side values boys over girls. I'm a girl, so as long as I can remember, my dad has domestically abused my mother and me almost every day.
My mother was very kind to me at that time, so I vowed to stand out in the future,
But everything changed when I was five years old, my mother gave birth to my younger brother,
In fact, this is nothing,
But I still clearly feel that my mother, who has always loved me, prefers my brother.
The most impressive time was when my mother smashed my mobile phone and computer into pieces because I didn’t play with my brother.
Later, I begged my parents for three months before they agreed to buy me the cheapest mobile phone in the mobile phone store.
In fact, these are commonplace.
They sent me to the hospital several times.
They never gave me pocket money, so when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, I was struggling online trying to make money.
One early morning in the fifth grade, my dad broke three of my mom's ribs. If I didn't report it at that time, I might have committed suicide.
So I sneaked out and borrowed a stranger's phone number and called the police. Later, my mother was hospitalized.
Later, my parents divorced, and I was forced to move out with my mother, leading a very difficult life.
My mother used to be a housewife. After moving out, she could only find a job with a monthly salary of 3,000 yuan. The rent and water and electricity bills were 1,000 yuan. My dad still owed 600 yuan in child support.
Anyway, at that time I could still feel my mother’s love for me,
So I wash my clothes before going to school every day,
I’ll do housework after I get back,
Although life is hard, it is always getting better, right?
But a year later, my parents lived together again for no reason,
Maybe it’s because my mother can’t live alone, or maybe my father doesn’t know how to take care of children,
I was almost in my first year of junior high school at that time, so everything changed here,
I don’t know how to describe it, but the sound of my parents quarreling and fighting can be heard in my ears all night long,
Because I still have some feelings for us, I went to communicate with him countless times,
But it's no use.
To what extent did it evolve later? I probably had tears and blood stains on my body when I was in school.
Some people may ask why you reported the police, I reported the police, but they would rather believe my parents’ nonsense than my actual recording,
They also suppressed me from the highest moral point.
I'm really depressed and suffocated,
I was originally very good at studying, but in the third year of junior high school, I failed a lot inexplicably, and in the end I only passed the general high school test.
Because of my family, I slept in the infusion hall of the hospital, was burned, had toilet water deducted, and countless other behaviors. I suffered from severe depression and mood disorders.
During the summer vacation, I stayed at home playing games all day long and wanted to relax.
And I have always been in poor health. I mentioned it to my parents many times, but they didn’t take me to see it.
My sixth sense tells me that I don't have much time left.
My mother has united the whole family to isolate me now, and doesn’t care whether I live or die. I can’t understand why my mother has become like this. He is a domestic abuser. I use the most filthy words to describe me,
Thank you for listening to this story. ”
(End of chapter)