Chapter 49 Your disease is hopeless!
Losing weight is not only about opening your mouth less and eating low-calorie and high-nutrition foods, but also moving your legs more, that is, exercising.
Qi Long started to say that after Gao Dongqiang started exercising, he often ran to the hospital.
The first time he went to the gym and went to the hospital, why? Dehydrated!
“Sweating like rain too much?”
"The little girl next to you is dancing so beautifully, you are such a jerk!" Qi Long started to make gestures.
"Are you drooling to the point of dehydration?"
"Ang, the doctor just told him, no matter how drooling or sweating, you have to pay attention to hydrating him!"
Gao Dongqiang followed the doctor's advice and went to the swimming pool. Now it seems that the beautiful girl is not afraid of dehydration and is drooling while replenishing water!
The effect was very good. He also invited Guo Degang and Yu Qian to go swimming together. However, within a few days, he was hospitalized again. This time the reason was: tooth decay!
Gao Dongqiang didn’t understand: “What does swimming have to do with tooth decay?”
"Guo Degang has diabetes!"
The skin of this baggage was neither thick nor thin, and it was easy to come up with funny points, which made everyone laugh.
Gao Dongqiang was stunned for a moment, then understood, and turned over his bag: "Okay, your senior brother went to the swimming pool to be a little whale again!"
Qi Long and the others talked about Guo Degang's backstroke in the swimming pool many times in the small theater. Some of the audience below had seen it before, and those who had seen it laughed even louder. This cross talk has become a series!
Swimming was useless, so Dong Qiang decided not to practice on his own, but to find a coach. He found a gym with three doors, beginner, intermediate and advanced. If you don’t use it, you’ll get a refund. Dong Qiang came there as soon as he returned. I was a junior student. Once I entered, the door was locked from the outside and could not be opened from the inside.
At this time, I saw a girl wearing swimming trunks.
Tell him, if you chase me, I will let you go, hey hey hey!
“Dong Qiang was very happy. He started chasing me right then and he finally caught up with me an hour later. I was so happy when I came out that I felt like my body was in a state of euphoria!”
"Well, I still have to applaud for losing weight!"
"It was reported from above that your fitness session lasted one hour and three seconds."
The whole audience burst into laughter.
Later, the girl who went to the intermediate level was a more beautiful girl. Dong Qiang spent two hours catching up with her and came out three seconds later.
"Don't mention those three seconds!"
"The intermediate level is so good, and the advanced level is much more exciting. On the third day, I went to a high-level room, and the door was locked as soon as I entered."
"Same as before!"
"A gorilla on the sofa turns around, I'm chasing you, if I catch you, you will be fucked by me!"
"ah?"
"Three seconds later, Teacher Gao was caught up, and four hours later, he came out! He was sent directly to the hospital, with injuries all over his body!"
"No, you're going to toss me for four hours!"
"Well, according to Teacher Gao's ability, twenty times a minute, that's four hours."
"Don't forget it!"
It was too dangerous. After being discharged from the hospital, Dongqiang decided to practice on his own and find something to chase him to increase his motivation.
He flirted with women and was chased by his boyfriend. Four or five of his boyfriends beat him for four hours. Dong Qiang was stunned but he didn't fall down.
Why? Tied to a tree and beaten!
Later, I couldn't stand the beating anymore, so I decided not to mess with people, but dogs. As a result, I was bitten by four or five dogs for four hours, and I was fully vaccinated against rabies.
The dog didn't dare to provoke the dog anymore, so he ran through the red light to stimulate himself, and then ran through the red light to stimulate himself.
"What, the car is going to run over me for four hours?"
"No, you ran through successfully this time!"
"Oh, I finally didn't go to the hospital?"
"I'm in!"
"ah?"
"Just to save this unfortunate thing like you, a car hit me. I suffered multiple powder fractures all over my body. I was hospitalized. It took more than a year to come out. You still have fun when you see me. Hey hey hey, my fitness is effective. , runs faster than you, will your conscience be eaten by a dog? "
"Then I did go a bit too far!"
"So, fitness is risky, so you need to be cautious before exercising."
All in all, the first half of this cross talk is for a conclusion: incorrect fitness methods are very harmful to the body, and you will have to go to the hospital if you are not careful!
At the same time, we also need to pave the way for a character: Dong Qiang is not a good person.
Being lustful, provoking others, robbing things, having no conscience, etc.
Then he took advantage of the situation and led to the real work: "Don't look at Teacher Gao's successful fitness now. Looking at him in good health, I can tell there is a problem at a glance."
"You still hope? What, you ate my conscience?" This is a joke that echoes the previous "Your conscience was eaten by a dog", but it didn't make any difference. Qi Long patted him.
"What?"
"Bow, my baggage is silent, and I apologize to the audience!"
Such a deconstructed cross talk brings a different experience to the audience. If you don't laugh, you can still bow and apologize, hahaha.
Shang Jiuxi and He Jihua, who were arranged to rotate here with Qi Long and the others, immediately had an idea, and so did the two of us. We bowed before the baggage was heard and made it into a baggage!
Back to the topic, Qi Long said that his hope is that of traditional medicine. As soon as he looked at it, he found that the root cause of his disease was caused by fitness!
“Fuck you, are you a doctor?!”
"I'm a crosstalk actor!"
"Why, the four traditional skills of cross talk are to read, listen, and ask questions?"
"No, you tricked me into being hospitalized. In that hospital, I met an old man who lamented that doctors cannot heal themselves, and he passed on all his medical knowledge to me!"
Gao Dongqiang still didn't believe it, saying that medical skills require accumulation, how can one say he is good at it? Qi Long said that this medical skill is different from other departments, and he can learn it quickly! What subject? Teco!
What does Tekodu treat? Now it’s time to get down to business!
“There are fifty-five kinds of diseases that can’t be cured, and each disease has its own word!”
"What's there?"
"There is unfairness, lack of consideration, lack of honesty, and failure to admit one's fault."
For the first four, Qi Long spoke slowly. In order to ensure that the words were spoken slowly and continuously, Gao Dongqiang would also say something like "Oh, um". Afterwards, Qi Long spoke faster and faster.
"No mercy, no listening, no trust, no hard work, no unity, no understanding."
As the traditional skills were displayed, the audience cheered and applauded.
In fact, there are several parts to this foreign medicine prescription. You can choose which part you want during the performance.
"Not syndrome" is what I mentioned above, a total of 55 words.
There are also "child syndrome" with children, "heart syndrome" with heart, "fake syndrome" with falsehood, and "no disease" with no. "Syndrome", "one syndrome" with one, etc. You have to change the performance, and the same show can be performed several times.
However, many dialects are full of dialects.
For example, among the "children's syndrome", the first one is called Baomao'er, which belongs to the dialect of Henan Province and is used to describe people who are bad.
There is no problem in Henan Province or some areas with similar vocabulary, but this cross talk is prepared for a special event and is likely to be performed in other areas. It is not good to speak these dialects that some people cannot understand.
When you talk about 呲马儿, trial step, fork in the road, etc., people don't understand what you mean.
So Qi Long chose "not syndrome", which has relatively few dialect words, and also changed some of the words so that everyone can understand it.
"Everything that is unfair, indifferent, not eating, not fighting, not being depended on, not being irrational, etc. can all be cured!"
"What medicine should I take for this disease?"
"Stretch your legs and stare at the pill!"
Gao Dongqiang tried his best to widen his little eyes: "Is that all you need to do if you stretch your legs and glare at people?"
"The disease is over!"
"Oh~"
"It can also cure heart disease, soothe evil thoughts, bad intentions, and suspicions." This is another long paragraph. The treatment method is to end one's life. Translated, it means one must not let one's life end. After saying this, it's time for Gao Dongqiang. is sick.
Qi Long began to look around and ask questions. After looking around, Wen took a sharp breath next to him, and Gao Dongqiang said, "Are you here to eat my conscience again?" This time the little baggage sounded!
Check, I took a pulse on his head, so there’s no need to ask. I’ve read the diary.
After such a series of operations, Qi Long concluded that he had Qi disease, and the disease came from Qi.
"I really like to be sulky. I get angry when I see unfair things. Why can't I catch up with the good things that are unfair and privileged?"
"Yes, you are so irritating. Why should you be angry with others? What's more, you have caused a lot of diseases!"
"what else?"
"You laugh at others. You have something that others don't have, so you laugh at others. You don't even have this! What's more!"
"Anything else?"
"You are irritating to others, laughing at others, respecting bachelors, afraid of rich people, disrupting society, corrupting customs, lacking in public morality, and lacking in justice."
The third paragraph of the cross talk in this section is full of curse words. It starts with three characters and turns into a four-character idiom in the middle: borrowing the wind to make a boat, concealing evil and promoting good, insufficient success, more than enough bad deeds, Destroying public welfare and being shameless.
In the end, it turned into one word: slap, beat, scare, bluff, trap, collapse, abduct, deceive, and deceive.
"You are a thief with a human face and a beast heart!"
"Oh, did I get all these diseases?"
"There is no cure, let me give you a home remedy!"
"Oh, thank you, my partner is good to me!"
"You're going to be shot right away!"
"Fuck you!"
At this point, the cross talk ends!
(End of this chapter)