Chapter 99 My conscience has been eaten by you!

Chapter 99 My conscience has been eaten by you!

"My second most important function is the super call guard function!" Qi Long continued to boast.

"What's the meaning?"

“A lot of people have phone phobia these days!”

"Please tell me specifically!"

"I'm just afraid of making or receiving phone calls. I prefer written conversations. Even though sending messages is much less efficient than voice calls, I don't want to answer the phone. And sometimes I can't answer the phone!"

"when?"

"For example, you are preparing to go on vacation and your boss calls. Do you answer the call?" Qi Long asked.

Dong Qiang raised his voice and waved his hands continuously in front of him: "If you can't pick it up, you can't pick it up. If you pick it up, your vacation will be ruined!"

"For example, you just paid your salary and a call comes to ask for a debt. Will you answer it?"

"If you can't pick it up, you can't pick it up. If you do, you'll have to eat instant noodles!"

"For example, you are having a tryst with your lover, and your wife calls. Do you answer the call?"

"If you can't catch it, you can't catch it. If you catch it, your knees will blister!"

"Don't worry, don't panic, call the guards to help you!"

"How can I help?"

"Pull down the menu at the top of the phone and click the small airplane button, and the call will not come in!" Qi Long spread his hands.

Gao Dongqiang: "Why not use flight mode?"

"If you put it another way, wouldn't it be a lot more magical?" Qi Long said and glared at Dong Qiang.

There have been foreshadowings in the past, and as soon as I stared at Dong Qiang, I was like, "It's really amazing!"
This time Dong Qiang also subconsciously said: "Wow, he is really wicked."

“Next, let’s talk about the third major function. It has a very powerful function, the GPS positioning function.”

"These other mobile phones also have it. Which mobile phone doesn't have a location now?"

"I can not only locate the location, but also what you want. For example, why is the Chinese men's football team not doing well? I can't locate it! I used this phone."

"Can you locate the goal?" Gao Dongqiang was surprised.

Qi Long changed the subject: "You can now locate your home. Go back early and do what you need to do. Don't be embarrassed!"

"The results are still not good."

Happy off the field, the Chinese men’s football team is late but it’s here!
“For another example, my cousin used to sing out of tune, but after using this, she stopped singing out of tune!”

"Can we still locate the gate?"

Qi Long nodded and whispered: "My cousin used to sing "About Winter" like this!"

【Gently I will leave you↑, please wipe away the tears↑ from the corners of your eyes↓! 】

"Hey, I went to grandma's house. Please use the positioning function quickly."

Qi Long clicked on his phone: "He sang like this after using it."

[I left quietly (reciting tone), I left as I was told (Water Margin), I want to walk from south to north, and from white to black, I want people to see me, but not know me (False Monk) Who is knocking on my window?]

"Stop, stop, stop, you've gone further."

"Is the positioning wrong?" Qi Long spread his hands.

Dong Qiang took away the mobile phone in his hand: "Save it, my mobile phone doesn't have that many functions, this is all false propaganda!"

"That's what I have to say if I want to sell. If I say it well, I will sell more. I just want to praise a toothpick into a towering tree, a monkey into the Monkey King, and a shabby house into luxury." Villa, call your little toad (pointing at Dong Qiang) a big camouflage jeep!”

Dong Qiang tilted his head and told the audience: "This conscience must have been eaten by a dog!"

"What did you say?" Qi Long looked back at him.

"I'm telling you, you have to sell your conscience!" Dong Qiang looked at him and advised him seriously.

Qi Long: "Okay, Dongqiang's conscience is inlaid with gold and diamonds. It has three major functions."

"Hey!" Dong Qiang grabbed him again: "You're not selling me."

"Who is selling it to?"

"Sell your own conscience!"

"As everyone knows, I have no conscience!" Qi Long spread his hands and shouted.

"Where's your conscience?"

"Didn't I let you eat it?"

"Fuck you!"

At this point, the cross talk ended, the two bowed and left the stage, and everyone applauded.

Host He Ling and partner Xie Na came on stage and they were still laughing. They looked at each other and sang the magical line "Gently I will leave you, please wipe away the tears from the corners of your eyes."

"I have forgotten how this song was originally sung!" Xie Na leaned forward and backward. To be honest, it was a bit exaggerated, but that was the style.

"It's so brainwashing. Thank you two cross talk actors for bringing us wonderful works. Next we will give you welfare." When the host was cueing welfare, Qi Long and Dong Qiang had already arrived backstage. This kind of party was over. Then they could leave. The two changed their coats and left. Sitting in the car rented by the company, Qi Long started shopping online. He had a girlfriend, so he had to buy some gifts.

"Brother Long, Brother Qiang!" Assistant Xiao Chi called him.

"What's wrong?"

"Then I'd like you two to buy some clothes today. If you don't have any ideas, just ask the costumer of the company's girl group. Your clothes are disgusted."

"Who dislikes it? Why do you dislike it?" Qi Long raised his head and asked.

"All celebrities will change the clothes they wear once in public, such as at the airport or on a show, and make sure they only wear them once. You wear various suits, and they overlap several times! "Xiao Chi repeated Na Yu's words.

The two of them are good. They have been photographed several times wearing the same outfit at airports, train stations, and variety shows.

Fans are complaining about their clothes, which are not fashionable at all.

Qi Long disagreed with this view: "What's wrong with suits? How convenient is it to buy a vest, sweatshirt, and trousers all at once? Also, isn't it too luxurious to lose one after wearing one? Dongqiang doesn't do that!"

"That's right, we are cross talk actors. We wear long coats on stage and wear private clothes as long as we feel comfortable. We don't care what others say?" Dong Qiang agreed.

He doesn’t like to buy suits, but he likes to buy black, black fitness vests, various black hoodies, sweatshirts, jackets, leather jackets, and black sports shorts, three-quarter pants, three-quarter pants, in short, basically all of them. black.

When I am on variety shows, I occasionally wear something black with a pattern on it.

When it comes to clothes, the two brothers don't have that extravagant idea. It doesn't make much difference whether they are famous brands or not.

Xiao Chi smiled: "I just said that I can't persuade you, right? Then I still have to say it!"

At this time, Qi Long received a message on his mobile phone. It was his girlfriend Wanyi who asked about his size and wanted to buy him clothes. She said that if he matched it well, he would definitely be more handsome.

Qi Long, who had just shouted that he would only buy suits, immediately beamed, "Okay, match!"
"Then go back to Mr. Na, my girlfriend helped me match it, hahahaha!" Qi Long said sarcastically.

Dong Qiang gave him a look of disdain: "Tch!"

"Exclusive stylist, what, envy? I envy the company to hire one for you!"

In fact, the company had already asked them if they wanted makeup, hair, and stylists. The two brothers unanimously refused. Crosstalk actors do things like crosstalk actors, not celebrities!
"I'm pretty good now. Let me tell you about you. The task of the next performance is not easy. You have to be prepared!" Dong Qiang reminded.

Qi Long nodded: "You're right, let's practice!"

It is indeed not easy to make both Qi Long and Dong Qiang say that the performance task is "not easy", because the next important performance will be held in Jinmen, Lao Guo's pro-province performance, Qi Long and Dong Qiang are also among them Guests.

If you want to perform in other cities, there is really not so much pressure, but it is different in Tianjin.

It is known as the assessment platform for folk performers. Many of the audience members have been listening to cross talk since childhood, and some have listened to cross talk all their lives. What you want to say, the audience knows better than you.

Some people think, if I talk about unconventional new cross talk in Tianjin and make it up myself, wouldn’t it be okay?

Something happened!
There are many cross talk fans in the audience. They don’t recognize the new ones, but only listen to the old ones. Only if you, the old one, can speak well and let people know how you feel will they accept you.

The two brothers didn't plan to innovate too much this time, so they showed off their real skills and worked hard to accept the test of performing in Tianjin.

The program they prepared is called: "Eighteen Sorrows Tongue Twisters"

Just by hearing the name, you can tell that it is unusual. The super long tongue twister that Qi Long pieced together for the TV show is incomparable to the length of "Tongue Twisters of Eighteen Sorrows", which is like a child hitting Tyson in a boxing match.

If you don't practice basic skills every day, you won't dare to touch this show. He combined many long tongue twisters. The longest version he has performed so far has more than 2,300 words in the script.

It belongs to copying the manuscript into the novel, which is enough to fill a chapter!
Moreover, this thing is not about memorizing the text. You just need to remember the words. The tone of voice, rhythm, and body posture are all required!
Qi Long took a deep breath, sat in the car and began to recite: [It’s freezing cold in the cold weather, and six or nine will be beaten in the spring of the next year. On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, there will be a Lantern Festival, and there will be a lion rolling a hydrangea]

Qi Long's voice echoed in the car.

Xiao Chi, a layman, was puzzled at first. Is this a roundabout way of speaking? It didn’t feel like a tongue twister.
After listening to it, he was convinced. The tongue twisters came at the back. The beginning was "Eighteen Sorrows", followed by "Sixty Six", and then "Questions and Answers" and "Self-Questions and Answers". "Ten Darkness", "Pink Girl and Pink Girl", "Wide Pole and Long Bench", "Cripple and Old Man".
This book title is just a long tongue twister, some telling stories, some asking yourself questions, Interpret your own answers and make them rhyme.

In the middle, Qi Long accidentally mixed garlic in his mouth. When talking about pink girls and female pinks, he referred to pink girls as female pinks.

Xiao Chi, a layman, didn't hear it at all, but Gao Dongqiang immediately laughed, feeling happy that he had finally found the loophole of the top student.

When he was a child, his greatest pleasure was when Qi Long said the wrong words, because his master always used Qi Long to teach him and said how well he memorized them.

Gao Dongqiang was happy from the bottom of his heart when he saw Qi Long, whose master boasted that there was nothing in the sky or on earth, making a mistake.

"It's wrong, there are three mistakes, one is a wrong word, one is ambiguous, and there is also a part where the inhalation is missing, causing the breath to be messed up in the middle." After Qi Long finished reciting, Gao Dongqiang immediately shouted.

Xiao Chi, who was driving, was stunned: "Can you hear this wrong? It's very smooth, isn't it?"

Dong Qiang joked: "You can tell he memorized it wrong if you can memorize it!"

"Excuse me!" Xiao Chi: "When I was in school, I couldn't even memorize "The Road Is Hard"!"

Qi Long let out a long sigh: "In an ordinary venue, I might be able to get over it, but if I'm in Jinmen, I can't guarantee that many viewers will be able to hear the problem. It seems that I have to practice a lot these days, so you should try it too!"

Dong Qiang nodded and started talking.

Although this cross talk, a tongue twister of more than 2,000 words is a funny job on the stage, but you still have to be able to praise it.

If something went wrong with his voice on stage and he suddenly forgot about it, he would have to pick it up quickly, just like two people showing off to each other.

To a certain extent, admiring actors are like fly-ready team members in a military parade. They fly with them several times, but then return before arriving at the review point. They do not show themselves, but just serve as a support. They are the green leaves behind them, allowing them to show themselves. Leave it to the funny actors.

Some people feel that they are popular and have become a corner, so they do not pay attention to the most important support around them, because money is a problem that often happens in the cross talk world.

However, Qi Long and Dong Qiang have been split 50-50 for so many years.

Qi Long never thought that the more he spoke on stage, the more money he would get, because he knew that Dong Qiang on stage was his solid backing, and his efforts were no less than his!
(End of this chapter)