Chapter 111 "Old Age"
Ruan Jingtian actually came to Qi Long to ask for tickets, but Deyun Club has rules. Actors cannot give tickets to outsiders casually. Their own family members have to grab them to watch the show, unless it is a large-scale commercial performance or a personal performance, so Qi Long Gave him his own ticket.
Yes, because the tickets for the last special event were sold well and the response was very good, cross talk fans of Qi Long and Dong Qiang are strongly eager for them to hold another special event this year.
So Deyun Society contacted the theater urgently, and in December, they organized another special performance featuring Qi Long and Dong Qiang.
This time, he was not out of town, but in the imperial capital. In order to perform for a special event, Qi Long started to watch videos every day again. This time, he came to Fang Xuanling and asked about historical and cultural knowledge, which gave him some ideas.
To write a new script, one must first experiment in a small theater. On the same day at Deyun Club in Sanlitun, Qi Long and Dong Qiang performed the traditional program "Old Age" with new lines!
Although the two of them are not captains, their cross talk skills are far superior to those of their nephews, and their popularity has soared rapidly, so the shows in the small theater are all reserved.
Fans have given great recognition to the fact that the two have continued to perform in small theaters even after they became famous.
The cross talk between the two can be seen every week, and there are always new ideas. They are well-deserved conscientious actors.
"Next, please enjoy the cross talk "Old Old Age", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!"
The audience in the audience cheered, and they took out their SLR cameras, video recorders, and mobile phones to shoot them.
Qi and Long came up happily, introduced the actors in front of them, and talked about themselves.
"Dong Qiang, you know, I went to the Tang Dynasty Evernight City to record a show two days ago!"
Dong Qiang nodded: "Well, it's all on the Internet!"
Videos taken by passers-by will be uploaded to the Internet and are not considered spoilers.
"At that time, I felt that there was a character that was particularly suitable for you. If you go, I guarantee you will play him!"
"Who is it?"
"Emperor Tang Ming, Li Long is fierce!" Qi Long said his name seriously: "Hey, you don't know how majestic that emperor is."
It's a small theater, it's so comfortable, and it serves meat directly!
Dong Qiang quickly pulled him over: "Wait a minute, Mr. Qi, Teacher Qi, wait!"
"What's wrong?"
"Tang Minghuang called Li Longji?"
"That's what it's called?"
"Li Longji!" Gao Dongqiang immediately corrected him.
Qi Long looked at him in shock: "Ouch!"
The audience burst into laughter, and the baggage exploded smoothly when the door opened.
After laughing, Qi Long looked at Gao Dongqiang in surprise: "Do you still have any needs in this regard?"
"No, no, don't talk nonsense. His name is Li Longji, the basic one!"
Qi Long nodded understandingly: "Oh, I'm sorry, everyone knows that my cultural level is limited and my knowledge of history is not good. I should learn more from Teacher Gao!"
"Don't dare!"
"My hobbies are very good."
"What?"
"I love literature and history, and I am an expert in literature and history!"
Gao Dongqiang, who was being modest, immediately changed his face, and there was laughter from the audience.
"Hey, my workplace is in the toilet? What is an expert in smelling X?"
"Literary History!"
"By the way, next time you talk about literature and history, they got it wrong!"
Qi Long nodded at the advice and expressed that he wanted to learn from Dong Qiang. He often studies history now, and he counted on his fingers.
"What do you look like like "Zhenguan", "Hanwu", "Da Qin", "The Legend of Zhen Huan"?"
"Wait a minute, you study history and just watch TV series?"
"Well, I watched it at first, but then I stopped liking it."
Dong Qiang asked: "Oh? Did you find that there is an adaptation that is different from the history?"
Qi Long shook his head: "Isn't it? I was watching "Qin" at the time, and someone spoiled me that the Qin Dynasty was unified in the end. It made me angry, and you spoiled it for others after watching it? How unqualified are you to say this? people!"
He put his hands on his hips and yelled towards the bottom of the stage, looking like he was lecturing others.
Dong Qiang quickly stopped him: "Everyone in the audience is laughing at you. The unification of the Qin Dynasty is history!"
"Why are you spoiling it too?"
"This is common sense, everyone who has been to elementary school knows it!"
Qi Long coughed twice in embarrassment: "Anyway, I won't watch TV series anymore. I'll watch another kind of work instead. There are no barrage. There are very few characters in the work and the scenes are very simple. Some of what is said sounds hard to understand to me." Got it, the scene doesn’t change.”
As Qi Long narrated, Dong Qiang's expression gradually became weird, and the audience in the audience also smiled without saying anything.
"If you don't want to change the scene, you have to change the film!" Dong Qiang couldn't help but interrupt.
Qi Long waved his hand: "No need to change, just a man."
"A woman?"
"No, just a man!"
"Then how to shoot?" Dongqiang asked.
Qi Long: "The Forum of Hundreds of Schools!"
"ah?"
Next, Qi Long started to make nonsense, saying that he learned a lot from watching this "Lecture Forum".
For example, this Cao Mengde and Yuan Benchu were good friends when they were children. Later, Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao in the Battle of Guandu. After Yuan Shao died, he often appeared in Cao Cao's dreams, no matter whether he went to bed at midnight or took a nap at noon. Seeing the old boy, Yuan Benchu.
So Cao Mengde put forward a point of view: the prime meridian!
Dong Qiang was stunned when he heard that Qi Long was telling stories like a storyteller, and finally came up with such an unexpected answer. The audience was stunned for a while and then laughed.
Before Qi Long finished speaking, he said that Cao Mengde often thought of digging out bird's nests with Yuan Shao when he was a child.
"I know what kind of bird's nest they were digging out?"
"What?" "Dove bird!"
"Why?"
"Meddes Dove, it tells the story of Cao Mengde missing a dove's nest when he was a child!"
Dong Qiang followed him and said, "Oh, what does Mendelian inheritance have to do with Mendelian inheritance?"
Qi Long: "Oh, I haven't studied this yet. Oh, by the way, there is such a history!"
"What history?"
"Mendel's son followed his last words and asked Emperor Xian of the Han Dynasty to pass the emperor to his old Cao family. Mendel inherited it."
Dong Qiang pushed him: "You are still addicted to nonsense. Is that a serious movie you are watching?"
"Isn't that serious? He has studied Cao Cao thoroughly, and Cao Cao is lustful!" Qi Long shouted quickly.
"This is more reliable, she is indeed lustful!"
"Yes, you can tell that he is lustful from the names of him and his family members!"
Dong Qiang, who just felt reliable, frowned again: "Huh?"
"Look, Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Cao Zhen, Cao Shuang, take the word Cao and read it together!" Qi Long waved his hand.
Dong Qiang clasped his fingers, and as soon as he said the word "fuck", he started laughing. This was intentional, so that the audience would react and laugh, and then Dong Qiang could continue to dig through the baggage.
"You're not right!"
"What's wrong?"
"Cao Pi should be added among the four!" Dong Qiang looked at Qi Long with a teasing smile.
Qi Long raised his head seriously and thought for a moment: "You still have a life!"
Dong Qiang pushed him over: "Stop talking. Is there a reliable sentence in the history you have been studying for so long? If you know it, just say it. If you don't know it, don't talk nonsense!"
Qi Long waved his hand: "Hey, what I'm studying is not ordinary recorded history!"
"Do you know the unrecorded history?"
"Yes, this is all passed down by word of mouth, telling what happened during the old age."
"While you are still old, please tell us so that we can all learn a lot."
At this point, he has officially entered the life. It is different from the traditional cross talk "Old Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao Lao", because Qi Long made nonsense in the first half of the history. Dong Qiang corrected him, so they modified the character for this job.
Qi Long was still talking nonsense, but Dong Qiang became a character who knew that he was talking nonsense and deliberately cooperated with him for fun.
This is more reasonable, otherwise the elderly will believe that it rains sesame oil. In this era, it is even more outrageous than not knowing the unification of the Qin Dynasty.
As the saying goes, it should be cold or not; Hot, people have the goods. In the old age, cold is really cold and hot is really hot. When it is the coldest, you have to wear all the clothes when you go out, including gloves, socks, and facial kinis. The eyes and mouth are outside!"
"You still have the nerve to have a kini in your old age?" Dong Qiang questioned.
Qi Long: "It's just a cotton hat that covers the whole head and cuts a few holes. I want to make it easier for everyone to understand. Do you want to interrupt me?"
"Listen!"
"At that time, people didn't dare to shake hands when they met?"
"Why?"
"I'm afraid your hands will be sweaty, and if you take them out and hold them, they'll freeze and you won't be able to break them apart. This is called an 'inbreakable friendship'!"
"What should I do if I freeze?"
"Wait until spring next year?"
"Are the two of you just holding hands and living like this? I can't wait, I can't wait!"
"If you can't wait, then go to the teahouse, pour some boiling water on it, while it's hot, pop! Then let go, or why is it called making friends? That's how it came about!"
Dong Qiang gestured to pour tea: "How about pouring it like this?"
After talking about cold, let’s talk about hot. How hot is hot? Living things are cooked as soon as they come out. The various barbecues and teriyaki we eat now are all passed down from our ancestors at that time.
When it's the hottest, no one dares to go out, and their hair burns off as soon as they go out. Only on cloudy days do they dare to go out.
It was originally a cloudy day, but the sun came out the moment you went out, and you were bald in front of your head.
Hiding from the sun under the shade of trees, because the shade of trees is not enough, it forms alopecia areata, with bald heads in some places and hair in other places.
"Then let me ask a question, how do Mediterranean hairstyles form?"
"It was when I went out at noon. The sun was in the middle and burned all the hair. The hair follicles on the top of the head were destroyed. The ones on the sides were fine. After a while, hair grew on the sides. The top of the head was still bald. The Mediterranean Sea was formed!”
Qi Long explained smoothly, Dong Qiang looked at the audience and whispered: "He can really talk nonsense!"
"What did you say?"
"I said, life like this is not easy for everyone, right?"
"It's better!"
"Huh? Are you okay with being so hot and so cold?"
"Yes, the rain at that time was not rain, but sesame oil. The spring rain was as precious as oil, and the people did not worry at dawn. That's when it came!"
"It rains because it rains oil?" Dong Qiang asked, watching the excitement: "What about the frost?"
"Salt, have you ever heard of Xiao Yanshuang fighting single grass alone? Salt is frost!"
"Hail!"
"That's pimple soup. You can eat it by raising your head and opening your mouth. Once you eat it, you'll be full. You have to eat it with dew!"
"What is that dew?"
"Vinegar, you should eat pimple soup with vinegar. A little wind would be better!"
"What is the wind?"
"Pepper noodles!"
Dong Qiang frowned: "How choking this thing is, you are always selling food in this weather!"
(End of chapter)