Chapter 151 I want to be a writer!
On the cross talk stage, Qi Long summed up last year by saying that they did very well. They won the championship in the national cross talk competition, held special performances, and participated in commercial performances. Their names were included in all major performances of Deyun Society, including variety shows. The development is also good.
"Actually, I have done something big. No one knows about it, not even Dong Qiang. I am about to join the Writers Association!"
Dong Qiang was surprised: "I really didn't know this. Do you still have this skill?"
"right!"
"How much do you want for a pair?"
"A pair? Hey, it's not about making shoes, it's about the Writers Association, the Authors Association!"
Dong Qiang was even more surprised: "Are you going to the Authors Association? Why are you going?"
"Join them!"
"Ah? Are you planning to become a writer?"
"Yes, I want to publish a book. These days, if you are popular, you will start talking about ideology. Look, my senior brother Guo Degang has published a book called "Better than Degang". I have read it and it is not very good. , He can do it, I can do it better than him.”
Dong Qiang's expression became increasingly weird: "Teacher Qi, please wait a moment. Are you sure you have read the book "Better than Degang"?"
"See it!"
"What did you say?"
"You're talking about cross talk. After reading this book, your cross talk skills will be better than Guo Degang's!"
"Is it possible that the book is called "Just Living"?"
"Look at how shameless my senior brother is. He even praises himself. I wonder why it's all his cross talk."
Dong Qiang corrected him: "There is no cross talk there, it is his autobiography and his own views on some things!"
Qi Long glanced at Dong Qiang uncertainly, feeling embarrassed. Suddenly he laughed: "I know, what you are watching is a pirated version, what I am watching is a genuine one!"
“I actually bought it online, why is it pirated?”
Qi Long looked at him in shock: "Wow, you actually spend money to read a book, so the person who wrote the book should give you a thumbs up!"
"Why are you knocking me? Wait a minute, you didn't spend any money to join us?"
Qi Long nodded fiercely: "Yes, what should I pay for my senior brother's book? I teamed up with Hou Zhen and took out the toilet paper he used. It's freshly baked and still has the fragrance on it!"
"Hey, you still smelled it? How disgusting that thing is!" Dong Qiang's face was full of confusion.
Don't tell me, although this kind of baggage is disgusting, it can make people happy.
However, this aspect does not account for much of Qi Long’s cross talk, because there are always people who like to watch cross talk while eating, and they were corrected immediately.
Qi Long didn't understand: "What's so disgusting? It's just the toilet paper he just used with writing on it, and it smells like ink!"
Dong Qiang suddenly realized: "That's a manuscript. The toilet paper was returned, so I thought you had stolen the toilet paper."
"Yes, yes, the manuscript! His manuscript is the original version of "Better than Degang". It is full of cross talk, but there is something wrong with the writing!"
"What's wrong?"
Qi Long said with his fingers, under normal circumstances, in cross talk texts, A and B are used to replace teasing and praising. A means teasing, and B means praising.
"What does it say in his manuscript?"
"He wrote my funnyness as 1, and you are 2!"
"You are only 2!"
"Some people write me as funny as A, and you as B."
"Those who praise me have no good words!"
Qi Long nodded happily, clasped his fingers and said what he had just said: "So, I am just teasing A-1A!"
"Who am I?" Dong Qiang asked.
"You're holding the B2B!" Qi Long opened his mouth and said, Dong Qiang looked at him and smiled maliciously, and the audience was already happy.
Only then did Qi Long react: "Hey, it's not right, it's not right!"
"That's right, that's right, I'm flattering!" Dong Qiang laughed loudly: "It's not easy for a flatterer to take advantage of Doule."
Qi Long lamented: "Well, having said that, just after reading his books, I felt that he could publish a book even though he was so bad at writing, and so can I. So I went to the Writers' Association and asked someone to help me publish a book!"
"So have you joined?"
"Not yet. They told me that to join the Writers Association, you must have your works published in newspapers and magazines before you can join!"
"Of course!"
"Humph, it's easy. I just wrote a short article, went to the newspaper office to publish it, found the editor-in-chief, and handed my article over politely. Look, this is my article. Please correct it. Give me advice, criticize, and change it as you like, as long as you don’t change my name!”
"What did the editor say?"
"Very good, no need to change!"
"Hey!" Dong Qiang exclaimed: "Didn't I realize that you are so talented in literature?"
"Of course, I bowed and thanked you. The editor called me when I was going out. Please go to the left and pay the fee!"
"Pay? There is a fee for publishing your article in a newspaper!"
Qi Long nodded: "That's right, that's what I told him. If you don't give me money, forget it, but you still want me to give you money. Is there still law? Is there law? Your editor-in-chief has spoken."
"How to say?"
"You have to pay a fee for posting a matrimonial advertisement!"
"No wonder I don't need to change it, so I co-authored your marriage advertisement?"
The unexpected twist amused the audience.
"What happened to the marriage advertisement? I asked, it is the easiest to publish in the newspaper. In order to join the Writers Association, I asked someone to help me publish a book. I wrote the marriage advertisement seriously!" Qi Long choked with his hands on his hips.
Dong Qiang looked like he was watching the excitement: "How did you write it?"
"I write, my name is Qi Long, I am a money-maker and spend money on my wife. Even if your betrothal gift is 388,000 yuan, as long as you don't only see me twice a year and are willing to meet and date me often, then I am willing to do it for Qiu." I am willing to abide by the new three obedience and four virtues." "Wait a minute, what are these new three obedience and four virtues?"
"Three obediences, you must obey your wife's orders, you must blindly follow your wife's principles, and you must follow your wife unconditionally when she goes out!"
"Where are the four virtues?"
"You must be willing to spend money on your wife, you must know what your wife means, you must wait when your wife is late, and you must remember everything about your wife!"
"Hey, what do you need to remember?"
"Her birthday, her holidays, various festivals, and various anniversaries!" Qi Long counted with his fingers.
Dong Qiang nodded and said, "I understand, just remember the day!"
The audience burst into laughter, and Qi Long almost laughed. He pushed Gao Dongqiang: "It's being recorded, you'd better say it according to the words! It's all kinds of days!"
"I'm talking about days. What are the anniversaries?"
"For example, on the anniversary of meeting each other, the anniversary of falling in love, the anniversary of holding hands, the anniversary of hugging, the anniversary of kissing, sit down"
"It's being recorded!" Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long in the same way that Qi Long pushed him, which brought a good comedy effect.
Qi Long thought for a moment: "It's the anniversary of your first trip by plane! You have to remember these days. Before the day comes, you need to transfer money, buy gifts, and pay tribute!"
"You have to pay tribute for so many days? Are you looking for a wife or an ancestor? It's too troublesome!" Gao Dongqiang looked disgusted.
Qi Long also turned to look at him with disgust: "Gao Dongqiang, your ideological consciousness needs to be improved. I advise you (what?): You have to open your eyes to see the world!"
"What a mess, come on, let's get back to the conversation. Did you get it published in the newspaper in the end?"
Qi Long shook his head: "No, it's too expensive. I'm reluctant to spend money!"
"Hey, wait a minute, didn't you just have to spend money on so many anniversaries?"
"Is spending money on your wife the same as spending money on yourself?" Qi Long immediately answered.
Dong Qiang shook his head: "I don't agree with your point of view. People must learn to love themselves first, and then love others!"
"What you said is so good, I will use it in the next magazine article!"
"Magazine?"
"That's right, the newspaper can't get it into the magazine. I've studied the magazine and it's all written in the same way. It's easy to get in!"
"How to write it?"
“Hello friends abroad.”
"Um?"
"Have you not read it? Many articles in magazines are like this. I have a friend abroad. What did we go to do one day and how did he handle something? From this, I found that we are really different from them. We have to Learn from them and just make it up for the sake of publishing a book!”
Dong Qiang was surprised: "Can this be published in a magazine?"
"I sent a manuscript and I wrote it this way, and it almost got published!"
"How did you write this article?"
"I have a friend abroad who calls me Gao Gao Gao Dongpa La Jonzeski!"
Dong Qiang scratched his head: "Why did I hear my name inside?"
"I wrote it based on you. I don't have many foreign friends. I can't make friends out of nothing. I wrote: This Gao Gao Gao Dongpa Lazhanzesky is abroad. Whenever 520, he will He put on a crisp suit, sprayed on exquisite hair spray, bought 9,999 roses, carried these words to his girlfriend, and took his girlfriend to a high-end Western restaurant. Order a hamburger!”
Dong Qiang couldn't listen anymore: "You're a fool if you can live with this. I've discovered several problems!"
"What problems did you find?"
"In a high-end Western restaurant, we just eat hamburgers? Do you know how big the 9,999 roses are? Can I hold them in my arms? Do you know what the bottom problem is?"
Qi Long was puzzled: "What?"
"May 20th, 520 is the homophone of Chinese characters. I love you. There is no such thing as May 20 abroad, and you can't even make it up!"
The whole audience burst into laughter. When Qi Long was speaking just now, some members of the audience didn't notice it. They only found out how funny it was when they were pointed out.
Qi Long shook his head at this time: "No, no, no, Dong Qiang, my manuscript was returned not because of the problems you mentioned?"
"Any other serious problems?"
"They said that your foreign friend must be a friend of the Western free world, not the country of the furry bears!"
Dong Qiang glared: "Huh? This magazine of yours needs to be investigated strictly. There is definitely something wrong. Stop submitting articles to it. We will report it to you as soon as we step down!"
"Hey, you reported it, how can I get published in the magazine? How can I join the Writers Association if I can't get published in the magazine? If I don't join the Writers Association, who will publish a book for me? I have already written the book!"
Dong Qiang was shocked: "Wait a minute, Teacher Qi, have you finished writing the book?"
"Yes, do you know how much it cost me to write this book? I had convulsions everywhere!"
"what?"
"Tongfeng, writing, and painting all have to accumulate materials, Tongfeng!" Qi Long gestured.
Dong Qiang corrected: "That's called Caifeng!"
"My legs and feet are not good, so I'm going to use my hands to whip them. Can you take care of that?"
"Why can't I control it? If you want to publish a book, my brother can help you. My family is rich!"
The corners of Qi Long's lips raised: "That's it, bye!"
After saying that, he ran off to the audience. Dong Qiang pulled him back: "Wait a minute, I have to ask you what kind of book it is. You have to tell me the content of the book. What if you wrote it?" It’s not as good as Guo Degang’s toilet paper. Isn’t it just money for me?”
"Do you still have to listen to the content?"
"Of course!"
"I write martial arts novels!"
(End of chapter)