Chapter 160 The tragic life experience of dancer Qi Long!
At the location of the man-made palace, Sun Honglei, wearing a dragon robe and sunglasses, sat at the top of the steps and looked at the memorial. Below him sat Prime Minister Huang Bai. On the platform a step further down, sat the scholar Zhang Yixing and the wealthy businessman Wang news.
Huang Bai stepped forward and reported: "Your Majesty, the auspicious time has arrived!"
"Okay, today is the grand ceremony of our Yan Kingdom, announcing the entry of all the people into the palace!"
Huang Bai turned around and shouted: "Xuan Wanmin enters the palace."
As soon as someone shouted, out of the camera, Qi Long, who was wearing a long skirt with rouge and gouache on his face, Luo Zhiqiang, who was dressed as a vendor, and the guest Yao Cheng, who was wearing a beggar's uniform, walked out together.
Seeing the guests, Sun Honglei took off his glasses and pointed at Yao Cheng: "Isn't this my wife?"
When the cross-dressing boss Qi Long heard this, he covered half of his face with his sleeves: "Your Majesty, I'm so embarrassed!"
Huang Bai praised from the side: "As expected of the emperor, his aesthetics are really different from ours!"
Since this is not a formal make-up, Qi Long's make-up this time is somewhat similar to the exaggerated make-up of a duo actor. It is the kind of ugly look with a lot of red powder on the cheeks. It is not the look of a Peking Opera actor.
He is very good at playing the female role. When he sang "Red Ling" in "Douxiaoshe", he looked particularly good in the role. He had the same style as Li Yugang when he played the role of a female actor.
Today is blinded for dramatic effect.
"What if someone can become the emperor? No choice!" Wang Xun looked at the jealous Qi Long and also complimented the emperor.
"Get out of here, I'm talking about that beggar next to you!" Sun Honglei interrupted them and pointed at Yao Cheng.
This is his co-star in the classic spy drama, in which they played husband and wife.
Yao Cheng participated in an outdoor variety show for the first time. Before he was too open, he waved to Sun Honglei: "Hi."
"Hey, this beggar can speak English?!" Luo Zhiqiang said in surprise.
"As expected of our Dayan Empire, even beggars will be punished!" Huang Bai flattered him again.
Qi Long put down his sleeves: "Your Majesty, let me help you tear apart his veil of hypocrisy. She knows this sentence in English. If you don't believe me, let's play a game. I say an English word and you say the second letter of the word. "
Yao Cheng didn't understand why he suddenly wanted to play a game, so he agreed dully.
Qi Long started: "Apple?"
"p!"
"yes!"
"e!"
Seeing her fluent answers, Qi Long threw out the trap: "husband! (husband)"
"u!"
"wife! (wife)"
"i!"
With a smile on his face, Qi Long nodded vigorously: "You really know English, you really know English!"
Yao Cheng was confused: "This game is so boring!"
Qi Long laughed happily: "Yes, yes, it's boring!"
At this time, Huang Bai came to his senses and pointed at Qi Long: "The cross talk actor is so bad! The husband is you and the wife is she, right?"
Everyone understood Huang Bai's explanation, and Yao Cheng held his forehead speechlessly.
"You are so bold and unruly to the people, in broad daylight, and the world is clear, and you actually molest the women of the people. You guys, beat him, beat him hard!" Sun Honglei ordered with a smile.
"Your Majesty, I am also a woman. This is a joke between sisters!" Qi Long shouted quickly.
Sun Honglei stopped the others and asked Qi Long: "What is your identity?"
"I'm a dancer who works in our Yan Dynasty's great theater. Number 38 is me. My name is Qi Qi. I don't want ninety-nine thousand and eight, but only thirty-eight thousand and eight. You can have my great face for a short time." The school beauty of Dynasty Film and Television Academy, I hosted this old artist some time ago, and I also hosted the emperor, but the emperor didn’t pay her!”
Recently, it was revealed that an old actor was keeping an eye on an actress who was decades younger than him. When Qi Long said this, everyone understood.
"Nonsense!" Sun Honglei stood up angrily: "I paid you!"
"Have you really received it?"
"I thought he was going to refute that he had never met Qi Long, hahaha!"
At this time, Zhang Yixing, who was sitting there, was reminded by Wang Xun and watched Qi Long change from kneeling to sitting down. He looked at Qi Long in horror: "Huh?"
"Zhang Yixing, what are you doing?"
The wealthy businessman Wang Xun handed over his hand: "Back to the emperor, this scholar is afraid of chickens!"
"Hahahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed loudly, amused by this joke.
Qi Long lamented: "Don't look down on me or laugh at me. I have my own reasons too!"
Huang Bai asked: "It's nonsense, what's your reason? How can the dynasty ruled by Lord Yan Huang, Sun Honglei, have any difficulties?"
Sun Honglei raised his hand to interrupt: "Speak out your problem and I will help you solve it!"
"Yes, the emperor is very good at solving problems. If I can't solve your problem, I will solve it for you who raised the problem!" Huang Bai complimented from the side.
Qi Long: "Your Majesty, please listen to me: I am a sick brother of my father who gambled and my mother was studying. I had no choice but to go to work. My best friend recommended me and I had no choice but to join this line of work. My sisters at home are all still young. I am the only one raising the whole family. My ex-husband is a gambler." Domestic violence once left me with injuries all over my body, and I have gone to the point of no return. Please take more care of me!" Everyone laughed, and Wang Xun added, "You have a life!" which made the joke even higher.
Yao Cheng was beside himself with joy: "Sha Yi said your show is very scary, but I think it's quite fun!"
"We are very happy to see you wearing beggar clothes!" Sun Honglei laughed and joked with his old friend.
Luo Zhiqiang, who had been quiet until now, also spoke up, saying that he was also very good at English and wanted to present a gift to the emperor, so he played an English version of "Good Days".
【Todayisagoodday，goodthingallcando】
While he was singing, Qi Long also wore a skirt and danced behind him, making everyone laugh.
Emperor Yan Longyan Dayue directly promoted Luo Zhiqiang to the position of prime minister. The prime minister became a dancer, and the dancer became a small vendor.
Luo Zhiqiang was ecstatic, Huang Bai and Qi Long pointed at Sun Honglei and walked over.
Huang Bai: "I've been flattering you for a long time, and you want me to be a dancer?"
"I woke up so early and put on such beautiful makeup? You want me to work as a street vendor?"
Regarding Qi Long's statement, Yao Cheng's face was full of questions: "Is this beautiful?"
"Yes, my wife can't be a beggar anymore. Wang Xun, you go be a beggar, my wife is a wealthy businessman!" Sun Honglei ordered again.
Wang Xun shouted: "It can't be like this, right? This is the role I drew!"
"There are no rules in "Extreme FHM". I am the emperor, I am the biggest, and I have the final say!"
In this way, everyone's identities were exchanged, the happy sitcom session ended, they traveled to modern times, and the confrontation part of the reality show began. They were divided into four levels.
Commoner-level dancers, beggars and street vendors can use ladles to attack wealthy businessmen and scholars. If they successfully hit each other with the ladles, the identities of the two parties will be swapped. By analogy, the rich merchants and scholars will fight the prime minister, and the prime minister will fight the emperor.
The emperor can attack civilians. After being hit, the civilians lose their status and become the emperor's personal soldiers.
"Oh, what kind of place is this? Well, why do you all have to take a brick?" Qi Long opened his eyes and looked at the passers-by holding up their mobile phones to take pictures of him and wondered: "Is this the etiquette of people in this era? ?”
After Qi Long finished speaking, he also took a brick. Others raised it towards him, and he also held up a brick towards others.
"What's that on your face?" asked a more outgoing passerby.
Qi Long: "Rouge, can't you see? I am a rouge seller. My rouge is good. This is the universe brand rouge.
This is not just me, Lao Wang, selling melons and boasting about myself. Our product has now been marketed to many big cities in our Dayan Empire. We are also preparing to break out of Dayan and enter the international market! "
He started talking directly about "Universe Brand Cigarettes".
"What are Qi, Chu, Yan, Han, Zhao, Wei and Qin, what are Song, Qi, Liang and Chen, what are Ottomans, Loulan, Yelang, Daqin clan, Parthian Empire.
Eastern Luo, Western Luo, rebel Teutonic, Green Luo, Holy Rome, geographical Rome Italy, Silla, no, Silla is the South Korean Peninsula, you can’t call it that, for fear that they will say that they are Roman orthodox!”
A passage about the geography of an ancient country made everyone applaud.
"At first, our cosmic rouge was called dung beetle rouge. Later, when I looked it up in the dictionary, I found out that it was dung beetle. Hey, the brand stinks.
It doesn't matter, let's change it to flat peach rouge. The slogan is to apply it on the face and live forever. But people didn't buy it and made up a jingle: flat peach, flat peach, one tael of gold can only buy one spoonful. This is deceiving consumers, too Expensive.
I'm not convinced, why is it so expensive? Is it good that it has been this price for so many years? It’s very difficult for us small vendors. Have you ever looked for your own reasons? Have you worked hard for so many years? "
This is when the anchor who sells goods saw a barrage saying that his price was expensive, and directly attacked consumers, and was ridiculed by the online crowd.
Some of the audience members knew this and immediately became happy.
"Nothing can be done. The Rouge brand is bad again. The boss quit and ran away with his sister-in-law. He owes 350 million yuan. We have no choice but to use Rouge to pay wages.
The original price of the rouge was one tael of gold and one tael of silver, but it was all twenty coins! "
Qi Long teased and pointed at the beautiful woman on the street: "Beauty, do you want rouge? Look, the beautiful woman has long hair. She looks like a boss's wife, the kind who takes care of accounts.
Hey, do you have short hair? The beauty has short hair and looks like a big boss. "
When the girl with short hair saw the camera filming her, she quickly covered her face and waved her hands: "I'm not a beauty, I'm fat!"
"Ah? In the beginning of human beings, nature is good, and beauties are more beautiful if they are fatter; outside the green mountains and buildings outside the mountains, beauties are more gentle and gentle; the waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, and beauties are fashionable only if they are fatter. Even if the body is full of flesh, that is the contemporary Yang Royal concubine!"
The little words came one after another, making the people around them laugh from ear to ear. At this time, the crowd was in a commotion, and several beauties left the team.
"What's wrong?"
"Zhang Yixing!"
"He's the one I'm going to kill!" Qi Long took out the ladle: "I'll bring the goods here first today, I'm going to fight!"
Qi Long, holding a ladle, ran towards Zhang Yixing. He was just chatting here to see if he could attract people. If commoners came, they would make an alliance. When the emperor came, they would run away. If rich businessmen and scholars came, then they would come. !
When Zhang Yixing saw Qi Long fighting out of the crowd, he turned around and ran away.
"Yixing, why did you run away when you saw your brother?!" Qi Long shouted while chasing him.
Zhang Yixing replied: "I'm afraid of chickens!"
Qi Long held up the ladle: "Brother's identity has changed now, he is a ladle guest!"
"Hahahahahaha!"
(End of chapter)