Chapter 274 Qi Long: I am Doctor Monkey!
North Spring City Small Theater, afternoon show. This show was chosen so that the four elders could watch it. As a couple who would definitely save money, they might stay very late for the evening show. Zhang Wanyi’s parents usually go to bed at that time. , I may feel sleepy by then and the experience will not be as good.
The show went by one by one, and at the end, Zhang Wanyi, who was a guest announcer, came on stage: "Next, please enjoy the cross talk: "Let's Compete", performers: Qi Long, Gao Dongqiang!"
Dong Qiang first went on stage alone, introduced the two actors just now, and then said that he would perform a stand-up comedy for everyone.
Just as he was about to speak, Qi Long walked onto the stage.
"You're talking about cross talk?" Qi Long said cheerfully.
Dong Qiang nodded: "Yes!"
"What's your name?"
"Gao Dongqiang"
"I've never heard of it, do you know who I am?"
Dong Qiang shook his head like a rattle: "I don't know!"
"You don't know me? You're a cross talk speaker and you don't know me. I, Qi Dali, am the only monkey with a doctorate in cross talk in the country!"
Dong Qiang glared and joked: "Doctor monkey? Are you a monkey from Mount Emei or a monkey from Huaguo Mountain?"
The audience chuckled, and some viewers guessed that the two brothers were going to ridicule the doctor of cross talk.
Qi Long said with disdain: "Look at the uneducated appearance of this cross talk actor. After completing a bachelor's degree, he becomes a master, after completing a master's degree, he becomes a doctor, and after completing his doctorate, he becomes a doctor monkey. I am a doctor monkey."
"That's called a postdoc. Who is uneducated?"
"I call it Doctoral Monkey. That is to say, if the cross talk I studied were placed in ancient times, they would all be able to be enfeoffed."
"Can you be granted a title by studying cross talk? The emperor of your dynasty was named Guo Degang? Emperor of cross talk?"
Qi Long: "Who the hell is Guo Degang? Can he speak cross talk? He talks about Yu Qian's family all day long on stage. He has no technical content, no research value, and no scientific research spirit." Qi Long used words casually.
Dong Qiang looked at the audience: "No, when did cross talk require a scientific spirit?"
"I have it. If my cross talk is heard by everyone, then everyone's admiration for me will be like the endless flow of the river. You cross talk actors will have to kneel down and shout that the ancestor has appeared. Your respect for me will be like the overflowing of the Yellow River. Out of control!"
Dong Qiang was dissatisfied: "Hey, then I want to hear the cross talk you researched, how awesome it is!"
Qi Long opened his mouth and said: "If this burden of mine is thrown away, it will be like the cold air in summer or the rain in the dog days. The refreshing feeling will flow directly into your hearts. Then you will happily say: Qi Dali , I can’t live without you!”
Dong Qiang finally couldn't help but started to pull him away: "Stop bragging, you should tell the truth!"
Qi Long raised his hand: "Listen up, hahahaha, there is a stick of ice cream that melted while walking on the road, hahahaha, it melted."
After he finished speaking, he was as silly and happy as crazy. The audience saw his silly look and laughed.
Qi Long pointed to the audience: "Look, look, everyone is laughing!"
"Is that a burden to laugh at you? Isn't your cold joke like the cold air in summer? I tell a joke that is more interesting than yours."
Qi Long shook his hand, it was impossible.
Dongqiang opened his mouth and pointed to the refrigerator to let the ice cream freeze by itself.
Sure enough, in the small theater, the dirty jokes were killing everyone, and the whole audience burst into laughter.
Qi Long was dissatisfied: "I was afraid that if I said that I was too good, you would feel inferior and want to hang yourself. Let me tell you another story. A group of people were riding bicycles, shouting, laughing, and were very happy!"
"Why?"
"Because they are riding Dali bicycles. Riding Dali makes people happy. Hahaha." This time Qi Long laughed and punched the table.
"It's too cold!" Dong Qiang put both hands into the sleeves on the other side and began to shiver.
The audience also thought this burden was ridiculous, but they were still amused by Qi Long's actions.
"Look, look, you're laughing!" Qi Long.
Dongqiang: "There are also a group of people riding bicycles in my place. They are yelling and laughing. They are not riding Dali bicycles. Do you know why?"
Qi Long scratched his head: "Why?"
"Their bicycles don't have seats." Two seconds later, the whole audience burst into laughter like thunder, followed by everyone's applause.
"See, this is the baggage to amuse everyone."
Qi Long raised his hand: "I just tested your abilities, now I'm going to show off my unique skills!"
"Then I'm all ears!"
Qi Long took a deep breath, and when everyone was looking forward to it, he said: "Forget it, I give in. I am a PhD monkey, and compared with you, an unknown cross talk actor, I am bullying you too much, I give in."
"No, man"
"Respect my choice, okay? Don't comedians know how to respect it? I give in, give in!"
The audience realized that they were not only satirizing the two doctors in the formulaic cross talk, but also satirizing the "brother giving in", the person who relies on his old age to show off his old skills, and just gives in when he thinks he is about to lose.
Meng Hetang is a junior, so it's hard to criticize him. Qi Long and Dong Qiang are his peers, so they can criticize them as they should.
Dong Qiang glared: "You won and you gave in? If you give in, you get it first."
Qi Long said nonsense: "Did Kong Rong get pears when he gave them away? No, his mother brought them out to eat together. He picked up the big one and gave it to his brother, but he didn't get it either. So if I don’t get it, I can let you do it!”
"Okay, okay, then if you admit defeat, go down. It's time for me to talk about cross talk!"
"Why do you want to give in? I gave in. I gave in to get rid of the burden. But I still have research in other areas. Cross talk, learning to sing, and teasing me gave in. There are three more items. To put it bluntly, I said this tongue twister. , you have to kneel down and worship me as your master!”
Dong Qiang: "He's still very energetic, tell me!"
Qi Long opened his mouth and said: [Class cadres are in charge of class cadres! 】
Dong Qiang looked at Qi Long, who stopped after finishing speaking.
"Where's down there?"
"No, that's it, it's very difficult!"
Dongqiang looked helpless and opened his mouth to tell a difficult tongue twister. The part between the pink girl and the pink girl in the Eighteen Sorrows tongue twisters:
[In the first month of the first month, on the first day of the first lunar month, two sisters went shopping for lanterns. The eldest sister’s name was Pink Girl. , the second sister’s name is female pink. The pink girl is wearing a pink coat, the pink girl is wearing a pink coat]
The audience immediately applauded, when Dong Qiang said it proudly.
Qi Long shouted: "Stop, stop, beep, beep!"
"What's wrong? Can you come here?"
"I don't even bother to do this. Forget it, I'll give in. I'm a Ph.D. monkey. Compared with you, an unknown cross talk actor, I'm bullying you too much."
After that, Qi Long learned an English sentence, which is a sentence that every Chinese person must be exposed to when they first learn English, I'm fine thank you, and you.
Dongqiang started to learn various foreign languages for a while, including English, German, Maozi, Nanbang, and Mandarin, including the greetings of some ethnic groups in China.
Halfway through, Qi Long beeped again.
This time, Dong Qiang said to him: Forget it, I gave up the line.
He failed to learn a foreign language and competed to learn opera. Qi Long sang a very simple one: Dou Erdun with a blue face.
Dong Qiang performed a piece of "Block Forgiveness". Qi Long sang for the fourth time, and the audience knew all about it. He's done that.
When it came time to sing, Qi Long sang a line about peace and was instantly killed by Dong Qiang.
Qi Long wanted to compete again, but Dong Qiang couldn't stand it anymore. He came up with some high-level words, saying that learning cross talk requires hard training day after day. Without decades of hard training, how can he perform freely on the stage?
"Don't think that just because you are a postdoc, you are great. When it comes to cross talk, you are not even a primary school student."
Qi Long's face was full of anger, and he said to Dong Qiang: [hei].
In the TV series, when Sun Dasheng got annoyed, he changed his face and "squeaked" at other people, and then raised his hand: "I Lao Sun is the real Monkey King!"
Dong Qiang looked at the bracelet on his hand and stretched out his hand.
Qi Long somersaulted and fell off the stage.
"He has already compared this skill with me, but I can't compare with him!" Dong Qiang finished speaking and glanced at the bracelet: "Patient of the Monkey Department of the Mental Hospital, Qi Dali."
After muttering to himself, Dong Qiang looked shocked and pointed in the direction of the side stage with an exaggerated expression: "You spent a long time with me and a mentally ill person? If I had known better, I would have given in!"
After saying that, he also bowed and stepped off the stage. At this point, the cross talk ended!
(End of this chapter)