Chapter 17 New Trouble
I don’t know what Jin Sichen thinks, but Wu Yusen sounds quite sympathetic to Lin Fan.
Parents who push for marriage originally think about the happiness of their children. But many times, urging marriage becomes a formality, and it doesn't seem to matter whether you are happy or not.
In Lin Fan’s information and her own description, she was originally an independent, cheerful, and courageous woman. Although she is still suffering from illness, after contacting her in the past few days, I can feel that her character is also very good.
Whether she signs up for fitness classes or tour groups, they are all so that she can get over the pain as soon as possible and return to normal life as soon as possible.
As long as he waits a little longer, Lin Fan's pain will be slowly healed and he will enter a new life. When the time comes, whether you have a boyfriend or get married, everything will happen naturally.
It's a pity that the Lin family's parents couldn't wait any longer and did not care that Lin Fan was still in the healing period, forcing a normal person to become like this.
Many people don’t know that language is the sharpest knife in the world.
How sharp it is depends on how important the person wielding the knife against you is in your heart.
To put it bluntly, the more people care, the more hurtful their words are.
Lin Fan's parents, as the people closest to her, did not realize that their words were like sharp knives and almost stabbed Lin Fan to death.
I wonder if they have ever regretted what they have done now.
Jin Sichen listened to Lin Fan's words, writing something in his hand from time to time, and then asked: "I feel that you seem to be particularly concerned about what your parents think, is that true?"
Lin Fan thought for a while. , said: "I don't know what it means to be extra concerned. Why don't I tell you what happened when I was a child, and you can judge?"
Jin Sichen nodded.
When Lin Fan was a child, Lin's father had been working outside the home and rarely participated in his daughter's life. But fortunately, she made a lot of money, which allowed Lin Fan to drink milk when he was a child. Lin's mother could wear mink furs and gold chains, and she was always smiling.
I don’t know whether it was because the family had some money, or because Lin’s mother had a natural personality that loved comparison. Lin Fan’s childhood was spent constantly being compared with other children.
No matter how well Lin Fan studies and how obedient he is, he never seems to get praise from Lin's mother.
The cousin who is the team captain is always better than her, the children of Lin’s mother’s friends are always more obedient than her, even the cousin who is not good at studying and naughty and dropped out of school has all kinds of good things in front of Lin Fan, Lin Fan is longing for I slowly feel inferior to myself.
In high school, the disappointed Lin Fan began to rebel. She gave up studying hard and wanted to use her performance decline to attract Lin's mother's attention.
At this time, Lin's father's business encountered setbacks and began to suffer serious losses. Mother Lin was arguing with Father Lin all day long, and she didn't care about Lin Fan at all. Let alone scolding him, it could almost be regarded as ignoring him.
Lin Fan's mentality collapsed, he gave up studying and started living as a scumbag. Two months before the college entrance examination, the new history teacher came to Lin Fan for a long talk. The concern in her words was like a stream of warmth, making her stiff heart slowly beat again.
Lin Fan began to study hard and wanted to turn the tide. But it's too late. She could only give up mathematics, physics and chemistry and only memorize liberal arts knowledge points.
After the college entrance examination, I actually got a relatively good score. I couldn't get into a key university, but it was much higher than the standard for ordinary undergraduates.
For Lin Fan, who has only studied for two months, this is already a very good result. If she hadn't given up studying in the first place, maybe Tsinghua University and Peking University would have given it a try.
As usual, no one asked about his university aspirations. Lin Fan chose a university far away from home. After entering, he found out that it was a private institution that only had junior college degrees, and the academic qualifications were not recognized by the country.
Now that things have come to this, Lin Fan can only study hard in college, take the post-secondary examination, and finally graduate with a bachelor's degree from another university.
After leaving home, Lin Fan saw the vast world, broke away from the shackles of his family, and never wanted to return to a depressing environment.
After graduation, she did not follow her family's arrangements and go home to work, and went to Gaohe City alone to make a living.
"You all know what happened next." Lin Fan suddenly realized that her life was not long, and she finished it in just a short time.
"So you have low self-esteem in your heart and hope to be recognized by your parents. Although you work hard to get into college and find a good job, once your parents deny it, you will be very hurt." Jin Sichen concluded.
“This kind of damage keeps accumulating, which has dealt a fatal blow to you. It directly denies the meaning of your entire life. You don’t know why you are alive, and you feel that you have no hope for life.”
"You want to be recognized by others, But it always backfires. A little affirmation and encouragement will give you strength, so the middle school history teacher just had a long talk with you, and you just tried your best to study. "
Lin Fandan He listened calmly and agreed, "Really? I've discovered it too. I used to think that I was extremely capable, bold, daring, and omnipotent, but later I realized that these were all illusions."
"I wanted them to praise me when I got into college. I got a bachelor's degree and got a bachelor's degree." I want them to praise me for being a scholar, I want them to praise me for finding a good job, I want them to praise me for making a lot of money... I am still the kid who wanted to be praised by my mother for getting 100 points, but after so many years, not many people have come out. You really praised me.”
"You're fine." John Woo sighed a little and couldn't help but comfort him. Seeing Lin Fan looking over, he was worried that she wouldn't believe it, so he emphasized, "Really."
Lin Fan looked at John Woo's smiling face with eight teeth exposed, and felt a little sour and warm in his heart, and pulled lightly He replied with a smile on his face: "Thank you."
Jin Sichen had a general understanding and said to Lin Fan: "I found that you have a clear understanding of your condition, which is a good thing. It is right to live separately from your parents. .If you cannot get affirmation, to Don't worry about getting hurt. Can you control your emotions well when you are alone? "It's okay when you're fine. I just can't handle it. I don't know when something happens, but I start having seizures." "Sometimes, maybe I see the branches on the roadside being sawed. I keep thinking about it and feel sad. I toss and turn all night long and can't sleep. I think about it every now and then, and it obviously has nothing to do with me. " Lin Fan sighed. "So I don't go out very much now, just because I'm afraid of being bothered by these inexplicable things every day."
"It's difficult for you to deal with emotional problems at the moment. Not going out is indeed a solution, but there will be problems in the long term. I just hope that after a while, your ability to withstand psychological stress will be strengthened and you will gradually be able to contact the outside world. This time cannot be too long. Human beings After all, they are social animals. Even normal people will have some problems if they are cut off from social interactions. "
"The best way is to let you go. Being in a safe environment, you can be exposed to a certain external environment, and eliminate the factors that make you uneasy. It can also be accompanied by psychological treatment. This three-pronged approach can improve your condition in the shortest time. "
"It's just that it sounds easy to say, but it's not so easy to do in practice." Jin Sichen certainly knew that Lin Fan had stopped treatment due to financial reasons and could not do what he said.
Lin Fan had known for a long time that it was impossible to get good treatment in her current condition. She had to resist on her own and take it no matter what. I have already calmed down, so I don’t feel it’s a pity.
Seeing that Jin Sichen seemed to be ready to move on to the next topic, John Woo hurriedly interrupted and asked: "What should I do if the side effects of her medicine haven't gone away yet?"
"What side effects haven't gone away?" Jin Sichen flipped through the documents, "The medical record shows that she has stopped taking the medicine for 2 years. Are there any other symptoms?"
Looking at Lin Fan's swollen body, it was indeed caused by the side effects of the medicine. , it is said that it should not be that swollen after 2 years, but it is also possible that he ate too much in the later period and became obese, so Jin Sichen did not pay attention to it at first.
Lin Fan explained his symptoms again.
Headache.
My brain is not clear, my reaction is very slow, I always forget things.
I no longer like the things I liked before. I am not happy even when I should be happy, and I am not sad even when I feel sad.
My eyes hurt, I always feel tired and can’t open them.
My ears keep hearing sounds, but if I listen carefully, there seems to be no sound. Also tinnitus.
I always feel nauseous and retching, but I can’t vomit anything.
Sometimes it feels like my head is heavy and about to fall off my neck.
My heart hurts, my stomach and intestines hurt.
Arm pain, hand joint pain, and back shoulder blade pain. My thighs, knees, and buttocks also hurt.
There are also various ways of pain, sometimes it is stinging, sometimes it is inflammatory pain, sometimes it is numb, sometimes it is like burning...
When I hear this, it really hurts from head to toe. It's something wrong.
Jin Sichen frowned when he heard this, and he and John Woo took the physical examination report and looked at it carefully.
"She said that outside hospitals couldn't find it, and I thought we could definitely find it here. The result was that everything was normal." John Woo said next to him.
“Mood disorders are manifestations of depression.” Jin Sichen said. "If there is pain, I suspect it may be somatization disorder. There may be some side effects of the medicine for the eyes and ears, but it is too much for her."
"What is somatization disorder?" John Woo asked.
"Simply put, it is a mental disorder caused by mental anxiety. It is mainly manifested in various unexplained pains in the limbs of the body, nausea, etc. that cannot be detected by medical means. It is often accompanied by obvious anxiety and depression Emotions."
"Isn't it depression?" John Woo asked.
"No, it's another mental illness." Jin Sichen was looking at Lin Fan's brain CT scan. "It's usually caused by genetic factors, physical or psychosocial factors. Her CT scan doesn't show any obvious problems. I suspect it's because of the somatization disorder that accompanies her depression. Some depressed patients do have symptoms of somatization disorder in the severe stage. . ”
Okay, another mental illness. Lin Fan was no longer able to complain.
“When did you feel these symptoms?” Jin Sichen asked Lin Fan.
"I guess I stopped taking the medicine, I can't remember clearly." Lin Fan recalled.
"That's almost two years, which is consistent with the time of diagnosis. It should be somatization disorder." Jin Sichen concluded.
"I can't find anything wrong but I feel pain. Is it a hallucination?" John Woo asked.
“It’s not a hallucination, it’s subjective pain.” Jin Sichen replied.
"Let me explain it to you this way. Physical lesions produce pain reflexes, which are transmitted by nerves to the brain, so that you can feel pain. Somatized pain is a lesion that has no substance in the body, but the nerves feel pain. Although it is It’s subjective pain, but it’s real pain.”
“How can it be cured?” Wu Yusen asked again.
"..." Even though Jin Sichen was knowledgeable and eloquent, he couldn't help but pause, "I need to take antidepressant medicine."
(End of this chapter)