"What did the old man study?"
Qi Long nodded: "Yes, my father loved reading when he was young. At that time, in their unit, they built a library specifically for him and let him be the librarian!"
Dong Qiang was confused: "Your father and I are godfathers."
After a small pause, the audience who was shocked and not very happy by just applauding "Calabash Baby" smiled again, and then Dongqiang continued.
"My godfather is not a civil servant. He works as a secretary. Why is he a librarian?!"
Qi Long shook his head: "Those are all lies and I told you to deceive you. In fact, my father is the librarian of their unit and is fully responsible for building the library. Once it is built, he will be the administrator!"
"oh!"
"On the first day the library opened, hey, the library was deemed a dangerous building."
"ah?"
The audience laughed, and Qi Long sighed: "My father didn't understand the economy and was cheated by others by cutting corners. Now I'm not afraid of being embarrassed. The old man was sentenced to 12 years."
"Is this being framed?" Dong Qiang asked in shock.
"Look, the reason why he can see this frame-up method even if he looks at the King Kong Calabash Baby is because of his own experience!"
"I just said that normal people wouldn't be able to see that much from watching a cartoon!"
Qi Long continued to sigh: "To tell you the truth, when I was a child, I didn't dare to tell others that my father went in. I was afraid that people would laugh at me, so I just lied. I gave myself this identity when I was away from home, so I just said that my father was a beater. He fishes in the Yellow River all year round, and the ones he catches are sharks. When he heard that, the students were very envious! "
"Where are the sharks in the Yellow River?"
"I didn't know until I grew up. I didn't know it at that time. I can't use this excuse anymore. I'll give it to myself when I go out. My father is a secretary and he travels around the world with leaders every day!"
Dong Qiang suddenly realized: "Is this how the rumor that your father is a secretary came about?"
"That's right. When I grew up, I realized that leaders usually don't take male secretaries with them when they go out. Instead, they take female secretaries, so they can do more things!"
"Oh, capable!"
Originally, Qi Long's laughter was relatively funny when he said it, but Dong Qiang emphasized an important point and directly ignited the scene, with overwhelming laughter reaching the ceiling.
"Why are they laughing?" Qi Long looked confused.
"I don't know, so I just agreed!" Dong Qiang also pretended to be stupid.
Qi Long shook his head: "Let's not talk about this anymore. I found that the male secretary's excuse was not good, so I thought of it again and told him to lie."
The two brothers said in unison: "You give yourself your identity when you go out!"
Qi Long continued: "I said that my father is the king of Mauritius and I am the prince who came to study in China."
"Oh, this status is too big!"
"I later learned that there is no king in Renmauriqiusi."
"Have to change again!"
Qi Long waved his hand: "I won't change, I won't. Those classmates don't know that there is no king. They surround me as the prince every day. It was the best time in my life. It's a pity that the good times did not last long!"
"What's wrong?"
"My dad is out of jail!"
The whole audience burst into laughter at the comment about "bringing a filial son".
"Who are you? It's a good thing that the old man is out of prison!"
"What's so good? After my father was released from prison, he was still thinking about finding a job at first. People didn't accept him after he had been in prison. Without a job, he gave up on himself and got addicted to alcohol. He would go out drinking with a few gangsters every now and then. !”
"This is not a good thing!"
"The most outrageous thing is that every time he drinks, his friends bring it back. Every time he brings it back, I have to send it off to my uncles in a good voice!"
"That's the way to treat guests!"
"As a result, I went downstairs to see off some uncles. When I got back, my dad drunkenly slapped me in the face: Why did you come back so late? Do you think I was unjust or not?!"
A little joke caused laughter again.
Qi Long thought that he could not go on like this. He had to find a hobby for his father to make him love life again and stop being addicted to alcohol.
Thinking that his father used to love reading and his dream was to be a librarian, Qi Long decided to open a library for his father.
"Library, that will cost a lot of money!"
Qi Long shook his head: "We can't afford to open a big library, so I will clean up the living room in our house and build a community library. People in the community who want to study can come to our house with a library card." Borrow it, don’t pay for the book, just find a job for my dad!”
"That's good!"
"My dad was also very happy. He told me: Son!"
"Hey." Dong Qiang subconsciously agreed with a flattering response.
Qi Long immediately looked at him in surprise, and the audience immediately laughed. Dong Qiang gave himself a mouthful: "Hey, I was fascinated by the story."
"Son," Qi Long turned around: "Why don't you give up?"
"I still want to take advantage of it twice!"
"Son, when you grow up, you know how to think about your father. Don't worry, I will build this community library well. I will never drink again. After that, I will write the rules and regulations for borrowing books."
"Hey, that's good!"
"Take out the calligraphy brush and put some calligraphy on the wall to add to the atmosphere of that culture!"
"What are you writing about?"
"On the wall to the left as soon as you enter the door, it is written that without indifference, you will not be able to clarify your ambitions, and without tranquility, you will not be able to reach far!"
"Zhuge Liang's Book of Commandments, where's the right side?"
"Establish a heart for heaven and earth, establish a destiny for the living and the people, carry forward the unique teachings of the past saints, and create peace for all generations!"
"Oh, four sentences from Hengqu."
"Going to the living room again, there are famous quotes, all of which encourage learning."
Next, Dong Qiang added some words, and Qi Long opened his mouth to speak every sentence, which was quite fluent. The audience was quite satisfied and applauded.
"That's all good, but my dad has two words hanging in the middle of the living room and I have my doubts."
"What word?"
"Slut!"
There was laughter from the audience. After being serious for so long, these two words are so vulgar as soon as they are spoken!
"Ah? Isn't this all destroyed at once?"
"I think so, I said, Dad."
"Hey" Dong Qiang agreed and took back the previous advantage.
Qi Long glared at him: "Son!"
"Hey!" Dong Qiang was confused: "Didn't you call you dad?"
"My father replied to me this sentence, son, what's wrong?"
"have to"
"I said your word is pretty good, but what does "slut" mean? After my father explained it, I realized that it has to be read from right to left, and that the word is not "woman", but "tan", which means "tank". The word "tu" written next to the word "nu" looks like the word "女", and the left half of the word "New Year's Day" written next to it looks like a woman's "女". The original reading is "magnanimous".
"Oh, that's what happened!"
After that, Qi Long introduced the library again, saying that his father had moved out his collection of books and various Chinese studies, and the library was officially opened.
The result is not satisfactory. After all, this is the information age. People can also read e-books when reading books. Who will borrow books to read? The library is deserted.
"I had no other choice, so I took photos of the library at home and distributed flyers in the community. Oops, it really worked!"
"Are there guests?"
"A lot of people come here, and they all ask where the slut is? You are such a clickbait, with such big letters saying "Slut" on it, why aren't there any sluts coming out?"
Amid laughter, Dong Qiang let out a "hurt" sound.
"My father quickly picked up the frank words, and all the guests dispersed in a hurry, but one aunt stayed. This aunt is also a famous one in our community. Her children are not around, and she is obsessed with that aunt. Cool e-book.
The key is that she did not read the genuine novel website, but read the pirated version. As a result, she mistakenly believed the advertisement of health products on the pirated novel website and was defrauded of a large amount of money. When her children got angry, they confiscated her mobile phone. The noise in the community was very loud at that time! "
"What's the noise?"
"His son and daughter are very loud. We work hard outside to provide you with food and clothing. You just play there with a mobile phone every day. You even put money into it when you play and buy so many useless things. Are you talking about this? Come and see if there is any refund for the elderly!”
“Where can we get refunds for senior citizens?”
"There just isn't any. The old lady's phone was confiscated and she is depressed every day. When she heard about our library, she got excited and asked my dad to borrow books." Dong Qiang: "That's good. There is no charge for borrowing books from your library. , don’t worry about being cheated.”
"The problem is that we don't have the books she wants to read at home."
"What does she want to see?"
Qi Long clapped his fingers and said: ""The domineering president fell in love with the older me" (ah?), "The domineering president fell in love with the divorced me" (oh!), "The domineering president fell in love with the retired me" (Hey!), "The domineering president fell in love with me in the nursing home" (huh?) "The domineering president fell in love with me in the urn"."
"Hey, hey, hey." Seeing that Qi Long's words became more and more outrageous, the audience burst into laughter, and Dong Qiang also reached out to stop him.
But Qi Long was not over yet, and finally came up with the sentence: "The domineering president fell in love with me who has been buried for three years."
Dong Qiang shouted: "The overbearing president is overbearing, not out of his mind!"
Dong Qiang's voice was a bit sharp and demonic, and coupled with the rhyme, the audience continued to laugh inexplicably.
"We don't have this book at home. The guests left disappointed. Our library has no guests again!"
Seeing that his father was depressed because no one was visiting the library, Qi Long thought of an idea.
"Let's use some interesting novels to seduce people first."
"That's called attraction!"
"Yes, yes, attract them and cultivate their interest in reading. In this way, people will gradually borrow Chinese studies books!"
"That's a good idea!"
"But it cost a lot of money just to buy it, so I came up with an idea to hold a book donation meeting in our community, called "Book Donation Brings New People". Everyone contributed to the firewood, and everyone donated their books. , there is no need to buy it, whoever donates the most beloved books will be directly certified as a book donor!”
Dong Qiang: "That's a great idea!"
"Soon, the book donors came. The big brother from our neighbor brought us a famous novel "The Golden Ping Mei". It was the one with a drawing board. I saw what kind of business this was. You use this to test people. Turn around. Our bookstore was closed down and I went in again.”
"Yes, yes, this cannot be spread!"
Qi Long nodded: "So I quickly put it away and hid under the quilt while I reviewed it first."
"You just want to see it."
"There are paintings in it, but they are just a painting of a bed, with a tassel hanging on the bed, and a cat scratching the tassel. There is nothing illegal or illegal at all. So I asked my neighbor, Brother, your book is wrong. There are paintings in it. The content doesn’t match the text!”
Dong Qiang: "We are going to investigate the crime together!"
"I've waited in vain. Big brother told me not to worry. Look at this cat. Cats only catch things that move!"
The audience burst into laughter after reacting for a moment, and Dong Qiang also pretended to be enlightened.
This is a metaphor, the bed is moving so the ear is in the east, so the cat is scratching the ear!
"It's good, there are no violations, and there is harmony inside. Let's put it on the shelves, and everyone will rush to circulate it. All of a sudden, this big brother has become the king of book donation in our community. People can't even walk properly, they all walk like this!"
As he spoke, Qi Long pursed his lips, clasped his hands together, kicked his coat and started walking.
"This eldest brother's surname is Guo, right?"
"His arrogance made Brother Yu in the neighborhood look down on him, so he came over and said he also had good things."
"What good stuff?"
"The disc will move!"
"ah?"
"I said you can't do this. You're hurting me. Who can stand this test? Stay here and I'll review it privately."
Dong Qiang: "Are you doing an audit? You just want to see it yourself!"
"I watched it, and the scene was very simple."
Dong Qiang put on a smile that he knew: "Yes, yes, yes!"
"Don't change the scene!"
"really."
"Two people."
"yes"
"A man."
"That's right."
"There is another man."
"Huh? There are two men, so who the hell is watching!"
"I watched it for half the night!"
"Do you want two men to watch each other for half a night?" Dong Qiang was shocked.
Qi Long nodded, but looked confused amidst the laughter of the audience: "Yes, Guo Degang and Yu Qian's cross talk selections!"
Laughing like thunder.
After the laughter, Qi Long asked: "What do you think?"
"I thought it was a cross talk between the two of us!"
"Both of us have video sites, but we have never recorded a CD. As soon as this CD came out, our library was packed with people, and many people were vying to grab it. Uncle Yu became a donation king, and went out for a walk every day with a beer bottle and a cigarette. , It’s so loud!”
"You still have to get a perm!"
"Some people couldn't stand his arrogance and donated those restricted items to our house. Our house became more and more popular, but my father looked sad. In the end, the volcano erupted, and everyone left. I want everyone to study, not I want you to think of this as some kind of private theater!"
After driving everyone away, Qi Long's father cleaned up the room and discovered that a batch of Chinese classics had been loaned out by the aunt who sold breakfast at the door.
Qi Long's father was moved and asked Qi Long to buy breakfast. It turned out that the books were used as padding for the table legs. Because the table was not high enough and it was uncomfortable for people to sit on it, they were used to pad the table.
Hardcover book boxes are used by people to store change.
"The book has its own representation of the Golden House!"
"Are you kidding me? The old man must die of grief!"
"Who said it wasn't? I was angry, but my dad stopped him: Who said books are just for reading and memorizing? Being able to stand on the table legs also plays a role. Some people in this world think it is right. , some people will think it is wrong, some people will think it is moral, and some people will think it is immoral.
Just like what is written in the Tao Te Ching, existence and non-being complement each other, difficulty and ease complement each other, long and short complement each other, high and low lean to each other, sounds and voices harmonize each other, front and rear follow each other, eternity! "
"The old man wants to achieve enlightenment, right?"
"I found something was wrong with my dad. He has the power to hold up a paper kite!"
"How do you say this?"
"Crazy!" Qi Long's words made the audience who were a little solemn because of reciting the Tao Te Ching laugh again.
Dong Qiang: "Are you even making wisecracks?"
"No, people have used your book to pad the table legs. Who cares if he wants to use his own book pad? My dad said no, it's his business to use the borrowed book. He can just exchange it for him in the future. Turn around and go home and write down two words: Wuwei!"
"This is Taoist thought!"
"After that, my father never cared about the number of people in the borrowing room. As a result, he didn't care anymore. Instead, gradually, some people who wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination and those who wanted to take the public examination came to our study room. , and also attracted some people who are good at reading to borrow Chinese studies, and the library is slowly getting better!”
“That’s great!”
"My father read his own books and wrote his own words every day in an unnatural way. Suddenly one day when I was sleeping, he shook me awake and said: Son, son!"
"Well!" Dong Qiang gave himself another mouthful: "Why did I agree again!"
This small design also continues the atmosphere. Otherwise, when the cross talk comes out at the end and everyone is still in a state of value, they will not be happy.
"Read ten thousand books and travel ten thousand miles. I have finished reading ten thousand books as a father. It's time for a walk. I want to go out and look around. I want to go to Mauritius!"
"Being a king?" Bao Bao retorted and his laughter grew.
"He just wanted to go and have a look, but he didn't let me follow him. He said he wanted to travel around the world, see the world, and pursue the path he wanted. I sent my dad to the airport and waved to him. I almost shed tears. My dad After leaving, I really don’t know when I will come back.
He also saw my reluctance, so he took out a piece of paper opposite the security check and wrote a line on it, and gave it to the service staff to deliver. "
"What are you writing about?"
"Should I leave? I have to leave. Should I stay? You can stay too!"
Dong Qiang translated: "This old man is leaving, and I want you to keep him!"
"I yelled: Dad, don't leave yet (speak coherently), what is the bank password?"
"Is this what you are reluctant to part with?"
The two brothers took a step back and bowed amidst the laughter. At this point, a cross talk that you can listen to as pure entertainment and also feel that there is depth in it has ended.
It’s talking about my father, but actually it’s talking about Lao Tzu who sees everything through. It’s talking about my father, the Taoist Lao Tzu!
Of course, there are many things that can be explored deeply that make people think, but these are not the responsibility of Qi Long and Dong Qiang. What the audience thinks is the audience’s business@
Let’s just talk about the cross talk! (End of chapter)