Chapter 235 Who is sick?
On the barrage.
"So desperate!"
"Really, I can feel the girls' suffocation."
but. . .
Does it really work?
"No kidding, this kind of conversation makes me cry every time I say a word. I can't talk at all (I cry to death)."
"And you get double the damage every time."
"Yes, if I tell my mother, my mother will say, are you tired of carrying bricks on someone's construction site? (Dog Head)"
"Really, my mom told me today that you are tired of having me and your dad? (Sunglasses)"
"We just started arguing."
"My mother couldn't listen to these words at all. She kept changing the topic, avoiding her eyes, and finally found out what was wrong with what I did now."
. . . . .
Lin Feng: "Remember, I am not asking you to change your parents, because no one has this ability,
What my brother has entrusted to you is correct communication and expression.
Since your parents have changed before, it shows that they have the ability to reflect on themselves,
At this time, it is crucial that you can accurately express your current feelings.
Finally, my brother will give you a nine-character mantra: Don’t be anxious, don’t be afraid, don’t be fearful, and be shameless.
These nine words can solve most of the anxieties in your life.
Shameless, I don’t mean the one who curses is shameless, it means that our ability to resist setbacks is particularly strong,
It doesn't matter if I fall down, I stand up and keep moving forward. This is the quality of a successful person.
Remember sister? ”
Girl: Yeah, I remember Brother Atong. ”
Lin Feng: "I'm following you Douyin, followed by my brother's WeChat account. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me."
Girl: "That's great, thank you, Brother Atong."
Lin Feng: "Okay sister, now I'm going to chat with your mother, you go do your homework."
good!
Goodbye, Brother Atong.
Lin Feng: "Come on, parents, tell me."
The person on the other side was silent for a while, then sighed: "What you just said... had a great impact on me. Many times... I really don't think too much about Liang Liang's feelings."
Lin Feng interrupted: "Parent, it's not time to reflect on yourself yet. You can keep these words for yourself and talk to your children later.
What I want to hear now is what happened at the parent-teacher meeting that caused your sudden change in attitude. ”
Woman: “Our child will be a senior in September, and the head teacher held a temporary parent-teacher meeting.
After I went there, his teacher said that our child didn’t lie flat or make mistakes, she just couldn’t get up or down.
After I got home, I talked to her, and she always said, Mom, don't worry, I can make my own decisions about my own affairs, and I will find ways to improve my studies.
But every exam is like that, neither good nor bad, no sense of advancement, her dad and I feel a little bit different. . . ”
Lin Feng smiled: "If you don't lie flat and don't make mistakes, what else do you ask for?
Shouldn't this be a compliment?
Why does it become demeaning and unmotivated in the mouths of teachers and in the ears of parents?
If you don't lie down and don't make mistakes, it means that you are working hard.
You are telling me now that you have not seen the results.
Then let me ask you,
Have you worked hard?
Has your salary doubled?
Have you moved to a bigger house?
My salary has not doubled, nor has I moved to a bigger house. Can I understand that there are no results?
No result means you haven't tried hard, right?
Come on, parents, tell me why you don’t work hard! ”
Well. .
The woman was immediately speechless.
Lin Feng: "Isn't this the same thing?"
This parent,
Your child is in the third year of high school,
Don’t lie down and don’t make mistakes. You don’t really think it’s easy, do you?
How many people are there in your unit?
Are you competing with yourself?
Do you know how many students are in your child's class or grade?
Why is it neither moving up nor down, and why there is no feeling of sudden advancement?
You really don’t have back pain when you stand and talk.
Your child's high school is the best in the city.
Who among you doesn’t work hard?
Who doesn’t stay up until two or three o’clock every day?
Let me give you an analogy,
The college entrance examination is a lonely battle,
Now you and your child are walking on a country road, and you and your child drive up the mountain and encounter a tiger,
As a result, you kicked the child out.
Then you say: Come on, kid, mom is optimistic about you, you can definitely defeat this tiger, come on, come on, come on, come on.
As a result, you see your child having a stalemate with the tiger for a long time, sometimes hiding behind a tree thinking about how to attack.
As a result, you were anxious while sitting in the car.
You scold your child: You are stupid, why don't you move forward? I believe in you, you can defeat the tiger and then push your child out from behind.
You are so awesome!
So I ask you now, why don’t you go up and fight?
Why don't you get out of the car and do it with Tiger?
How was your college entrance examination?
Tell me first if you have been admitted to a prestigious university. ”
The woman hesitated and said: "I... am just a junior high school student, I didn't take the college entrance examination."
Lin Feng slapped the table: "Do you think this thing is irritating? You are just a junior high school student, and you are going to mess with others?
This parent, you have never experienced high school, and you don’t know the hardships of the college entrance examination,
Why do you think your child is not working hard?
Why do you think so?
Let me ask you, how much money do you earn per month now? ”
Woman: "Six to seven thousand."
Lin Feng: "I'm going to make you earn over 10,000 yuan now, go ahead."
Well. .
Lin Feng said angrily: "Do you know how difficult it is now?
Why hasn’t the income exceeded RMB 10,000 for so many years?
Is it because you don't work hard?
Is it because you are not enterprising?
I told you, your child's college entrance examination will definitely be more difficult than yours.
Do you want to know how many people are there in your unit? How many colleagues do you have? In the college entrance examination, millions of candidates compete together. Do you think it’s scary?
You always think that she doesn't work hard, but in fact your child has already tried her best.
If you mess with her again, your child will really lie flat. ”
Woman: "The teacher asked me to talk to her."
Lin Feng shook his head and sighed: "Let me tell you this, for all the students who have dropped out of school and lie flat, none of your teachers and parents are innocent.
I don’t know what’s wrong with the teacher now.
During recess, as long as the children are laughing and joking in the classroom, the teacher will glare at them when they pass by.
The child was so frightened that he did not dare to laugh.
Each one of them was as trembling as a mouse seeing a cat when they saw the teacher.
I just don't understand.
Why can’t these teachers see their children happy?
Does happiness mean doing nothing?
Does happiness mean not doing your job properly?
Don't children have the right to be happy?
Can’t teachers be happy with their children? ”
. . . . .
On the barrage.
"Don't say it, it's true, the teacher doesn't let the children laugh."
"During recess, my child was laughing and joking with several classmates in the class. The teacher really saw him passing by, and then everyone gave a 2,000-word review (did not understand)."
"To tell you the truth, I am a class teacher myself, and I am just as puzzled as you are. I can't figure it out either, and I am indeed like this."
"Education methods need to be improved."
"Schools are all like this. It's too difficult to change."
. . . . . .
Lin Feng: "Not only teachers, but parents too, must not see their children being too happy,
I can't stand a child watching TV leisurely there.
You said that the child has finished his homework, lie there for a while, rest for a while, leisurely on the sofa with his feet up,
Parents can't stand this.
I just want my children to sit there 24 hours a day reading and writing homework, and they have to frown.
They all feel that this is the only serious thing that children can do, and it is also the thing that makes parents the happiest.
Seriously,
Aren’t you uncomfortable seeing this?
Why can't we be happy together? How sad.
Don’t teachers and parents reflect on it?
Why do you get so upset when your children are happy?
Shouldn't children really smile?
As long as she smiles, does that mean she is not studying seriously? ”
The woman is silent.
Lin Feng: "So who has the problem? Is it really the child? Is it possible that you are sick?
Parent, let me tell you a story.
Real story.
When I was in high school, there was a closed high school next door.
It's also quite famous over there.
Because it is a closed high school, students go home once a month.
A boy who was in his senior year of high school at the time.
I was very tired when I got up at 5:30 every day in school. I came home once a month and just wanted to have a good rest.
As a result, after returning home, he couldn't rest because his parents forced him to study and didn't allow him to rest.
After a long time, the boys feel very tired and their bodies can no longer hold on.
I told my parents that I wanted to take a day off.
When his mother heard this, she said that unless you were sick, don't be lazy, so she turned around and took the child to the hospital.
The doctor took a look and said he was overworked and slightly depressed.
I got him some medicine and sent him back to school.
From then on, every time a boy came home and said he was tired, his parents would make him take medicine.
If you take too much of that medicine, it will have side effects and your memory will decline a lot.
Later, the boys failed to enter college.
As time went by, the boy’s emotions exploded
His mother thought he was ill,
Finally, he and his husband sent him to a mental hospital.
In the mental hospital, he was given injections, pills, and electroshocks for three months, and the boy was finally discharged.
After he was discharged from the hospital, the boy couldn't bear it anymore, so he cried to his parents about how miserable the mental hospital was and asked them to experience it.
As a result, my parents really went there
Check the hospital,
Here comes the fun.
This is a severe anxiety disorder and severe depression for parents.
The hospital admitted his parents at that time.
After being detained for fifteen days, his parents took injections and took medicine, and his lips turned purple.
After the parents came out, they were still not convinced, so they took their children to several authoritative hospitals in Kyoto for further diagnosis.
It turned out that the child was completely normal, but the parents were really mentally ill. ”
woman:. . .
. . . . . .
On the barrage.
"Many diagnosed mental patients who are hospitalized first have someone close to them who is sick, and then they force the person to become mentally ill, because only a more severe mental illness can defeat mental illness."
"My brother had a knife on his stomach in the morning, and my dad sent him to school in the afternoon."
"Here, when you grow up, live in the next province if you can."
"No, as far away as possible."
"Really, for every child who goes to see a psychiatrist, the first person diagnosed is their parents."
"I agree with both hands."
"I went to the hospital to see the psychiatrist, but my dad insisted on going in to accompany me. I said something to him, and then the doctor asked me to go out directly and called him."
Hahahahaha.
. . . . . .
Lin Feng: "Parent, if you can reflect on yourself, give your child some freedom, and believe that she has her own rhythm,
March next year at the latest will be her peak period.
You haven’t experienced the college entrance examination, I have.
I think you can take my word for it. ”
The woman was silent for a moment and said: "Okay, I believe you."
Lin Feng: "Okay, let's go down."
The wheat is hung up,
Lin Feng said to the live broadcast room:
"Brothers, Alexander!
I am a great emotional strategist, and I have to vouch for people’s studies.
I'm drunk too! ”
Looking back: "Brother Shui, do you think there is anything wrong with what I just said?"
Yu Huanshui shook his head: "That's great, there's nothing wrong with it at all."
You have to support me!
Turning his head, Lin Feng looked at Gongping and said:
"I just saw someone on the barrage saying that there are no rules and everyone is laughing and joking. It's like a vegetable market. Do we still need to go to class?
I can only tell you people, if you are willing to be a bull and a horse, that is your business,
It doesn't mean that this thing is right.
Some people say that we all came here like this when we were young.
I actually laughed.
You guys got through it this way, so others have to get through it too, right?
You are still thinking like a beast.
Everyone is like this, so it’s okay?
What are you kidding yourself about?
What age are you in, and you still have a cerebellum?
You are suppressing children's innocence and imprisoning their thinking.
We should not suppress our children during the boring, long and arduous study.
But we should find happiness and joy for our children.
We must work side by side with our children to help them achieve glory in life.
This is what a normal parent should do.
And the reality,
You and the teacher are under long-term hypnosis, blaming the child, belittling the child, and trampling on the child's dignity.
What did you get in exchange for it?
I don’t know whether you will be able to go to college, but your parent-child relationship must be very poor.
What do you think is the most important thing in this life?
money?
Family affection?
Happiness, joy, or freedom?
I am not saying that you have to choose between money and family love.
They can coexist.
But the premise must be that the parents are smart enough.
Abandon suppressive education and grow up happily with your children,
Go and help the children get rid of that roadblock together. ”
I see some people are saying on the barrage that children in this era have very poor ability to resist setbacks.
Have you ever thought that the pressure faced by children in this era is much greater than that of your time?
Many people may not be convinced when I say this.
Come,
The military advisor will tell you why today?
Because this is an era of information explosion and an era of more choices.
When people are ignorant and have no choice, that is when they are under the least pressure.
Because you are ignorant and use your limited vision to see that in the narrow environment where you are, every child is raised by his parents.
You just take it for granted that being beaten by your parents is no big deal.
The pain of the belt hitting my body seems to be less painful.
But when one day you see with your own eyes a family with such warm words, there is no violence, only warmth and encouragement.
You are no longer ignorant,
You know it turns out there is more than one way to live.
At that time, if you are beaten again, it will hurt not only your body, but also your heart.
You will ask yourself over and over again.
Why are other families so warm?
Why did other children show such frightened and disbelieving expressions when they heard me being whipped by my parents with a belt?
You will destroy yourself over and over again internally.
Those who post barrage,
Stop bickering with me.
I stand here today,
I can admit in front of a room of 56,000 people that I am not a perfect child.
Admit that you still have many shortcomings.
Admit that you are not as good as others.
What about you?
Do you have the courage to admit to your children that you are not a perfect parent?
Do you have the courage to admit that it's because you're not smart enough that you can only treat him in the most mindless, simple and crude way?
Do you dare?
Don't you dare!
You don’t even have this courage,
Why are you bickering with me?
Nothing! ”
(End of chapter)